Stan smiled, "Finally! After all these long years of waiting, you're actually here! Brother!"
Ford punches him in the face.
"Oh! Ow! What the heck was that for?!" Stan scowled.
Ford scowled, "This was an insanely risky move: restarting the portal! Didn't you read my warnings?!"
"Warnings, schmarnings. How's about maybe a thanks for saving you from what appears to be, I don't know, some kind of sci-fi sideburn dimension?" Stan asked.
Ford frowned, "Thank you? You really think I'm gonna thank you after what you DID THIRTY YEARS AGO?!"
"What I did? Why, you ungrateful..." He to punch him, but Ford ducks and grabs him, "Don't expect me to go easy on you, just because you're... family." As Ford slams him to the ground, "Ah!
Mabel smiled, "Hey, hi. Mabel here. Quick question: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!"
"Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here. And some sort of large, hairless gopher?" Ford looked over at Soos.
Soos laughed, "Heh heh. I get that a lot."
"They're your family, Poindexter... well, besides blue hair over here. He's a whole ' other story. Shermie's grandkids," Stan smiled.
"I-I have a niece and nephew?" He shakes Mabel's hand, "Greetings. Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time."
Mabel gasped, "Whoa, a six-fingered handshake? It's a full finger friendlier than normal!"
"Heha, I like this kid. She's weird," Ford smiled.
Dipper gasped, "I-I can't believe it. You're the author of the journals!"
"You've read my journals?" Ford asked.
Dipper gasped, "I haven't just read them; I've lived them!" He starts walking in circles, "I've been waiting for so long to meet you, I-I don't know what to say I have so many question I," He starts breathing heavily, "Oooooohhh I think I'm gonna throw up." As Mabel comes over, "Hmmpf! No-no, false alarm. Hmmpf! Just gotta ride it out!"
Ford sighed, "Listen, there'll be time for introductions later. But first, tell me, Stan: are there any security breaches? Does anyone else know about this portal?"
"No, just us... Also maybe the entire U.S. government."
Ford was surprised, "The what?!"
Agent Powers, seen on security camera; to other agents, "Fan out! We're not going anywhere till we find Stan Pines and those kids!"
Ford sighs, "Okay. It's all right. We've got a while before they find this room. We just need to lay low and think of a plan."
"Well, it looks like we're stuck down here for a while. Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious backstory?" Mabel asked.
Ford looks towards Stan, "Yes, I have some questions about this myself, Stanley."
"Stanley?" Dipper asked.
Mabel frowned, "But your name is Stanford."
"Wait, you took my name?! What have you been doing all these years, you knucklehead?!" Ford asked.
Dipper scowled, "Yeah, Grunkle Stan, no more lies! You owe us some answers: What's the deal with this portal? Why did you keep this a secret?"
"And what happened between you and your brother?" Mabel asked.
Will starts crying, looking down, making everyone stare at him.
Ford glares at him, "What are you doing here, Bill?"
"I'm not... I'm not Gold! I swear, I'm not Gold! I helped Stan build the portal!" Will yelped, walking away from Ford.
Ford sighed, "So you say. What do you actually want?"
"I swear, I'm not my twin! I'm the good one! Please! I... I don't want to harm anyone!" Will held his hands up, before he seems to think of something, and snapping his fingers, causing a yellow flame to erupt in his hand, "Look! It's not a light blue! I'm not my twin, I swear!"
Dipper and Mabel looked at each other, "Bill's your twin?"
"This is why I didn't tell you!" Will frowned, looking down, tears falling to the floor, "I... didn't want you to think I was a monster like he is... I've already been figuring out who everyone is on... that... and while we're waiting for... it... to happen... which will be in a few weeks, then... we need to make sure to not tell any more lies. So... you two, need to make up now, or else something bad might happen in the future," Will looks at Ford and Stan.
Ford sighed, "Why should I believe you?"
"Dipper's the Pine Tree, Mabel's the Shooting star, Soos is the Question Mark, your the six-fingered hand, Stan is the crescent, and... that's only half of them, and you're all in the same room together." Will smiled nervously, playing with his hands, "As for your questions... this portal is a portal to... a bunch of different dimensions. He, well... WE, kept it a secret, because it's dangerous, and he didn't want you to get involved... and... the last question is... kind of... not important..."
Mabel frowned, "Can you still tell us?"
"... it doesn't matter... it was years ago..." Will looked down.
Dipper sighed, "Can you tell us?"
"No! I... don't want to remember..." Will bit his lip.
Ford sighed, "Can you at least explain why you are here?"
"Oh. Uh... after... my dimension was destroyed... I ended up going to a place that, is similar to this place, but... it was called Reverse Falls. I... was enslaved for around 28 years there... by the Gleeful's, which were you all, besides Soos... after I had escaped with help from my friends Pacifica and Gideon, Who were basically Mabel and Dipper, I ended up going here, and... not knowing better, I went to the Mystery Shack. That's where I met Stan. I explained my situation, against my better judgment, and Stan believed me and let me stay. He told me about the portal, and... we decided to work on it together. It took 2 years to me, and 30 to him, but... it was worth it," Will explained.
Stan sighed, "I couldn't risk anyone learning the truth and sabotaging my mission, so I lied to everyone else: the town, my family, your parents, even you kids."
"So all this time you were just trying to save your brother. Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you," Dipper apologized.
Stan smiled, "That's okay, kid. I probably wouldn't have believed me either."
Agent, from upstairs, "I heard talking! It was coming from downstairs!
"Oh no, it's too late, the agents are comin' for us!" Stan shouted.
Mabel frowned, "What do we do?!"
"Aw, man. I forgot all about those dudes," Soos frowned.
Dipper smiled, "Wait, forget. That's it! I think I know a way we might be able to defeat those agents!" He takes a Memory erasing gun out of a bag and gives it to Stanford.
"Of course! I don't know how you got a hold of one of these but, this is perfect! If I can just amplify the signal to a radio headset frequency..." Ford plugs some wires into the gun and looks through some viewing glasses to see the agents running into the shack, "There. Now everyone PLUG YOUR EARS! GET DOWN! NOW!"
Everyone crouches and plugs their ears.
Agent Trigger, "Sir! Looks like there's a hidden door behind the vending machine!"
"Excellent! Get me Washington on Line 1! I've been practicing sounds of excitement for this very occasion. Hey, do you hear that?" Powers asked.
A wave pulses through the shack and yard.
"What? Where am I? Why am I standing in front of some sort of goofy fun knick-knack house?" Powers asked.
Ford, comes to the porch, "Stand down, gentlemen! I've been sent with the latest intel from Washington." flipping through some of Mabel's drawings, "According to this very real report, the power surges in Gravity Falls were actually due to radiation from an unreported meteor shower. A total embarrassment for your whole department. Luckily I'm here to take this mess off your hands, but I'll need of all your... floppy disks, and 8-tracks...right?"
"Uh, everything about this case is contained on this drive," Powers informed him.
Trigger hands Ford a flash drive labeled "PINES".
Ford smiled, "Well, what are you waiting for, a kiss on the cheek? Get out of here before I have your butts court-martialed!"
"Uhh, yes sir. Apologies, sir," Powers whistles, "False alarm, everyone!" He trips on his way back to the car.
The government agents all leave. Ford gives Gompers the flash drive, and the goat runs away with it in his mouth.
Mabel runs out with Dipper and Will, "Great uncle Stanford, that was amazing!"
Stan, follows with Soos, "Let's not go crazy; it was serviceable."
Ford laughed, "Thank you, kids, but please, call me Ford."
"Sure! Thanks, Great Uncle Ford. So, uh," Dipper holds up a pen and notepad and clicks pen excitedly, "would you mind if I ask you a couple billion questions about Gravity Falls?"
Will just frowned, looking at Dipper's excitement.
"Um, well I-uh..."
Stan sighed, "All right, kids, it's been a long day and me, Will, and my brother have a lot to talk about. Why don't you hit the hay, huh?"
"But, it's the author!" Dipper clicks his pen rapidly, "I've been waiting so long to ask questions about-"
Stan grabs Dipper and Mabel's heads and pushes them away, "I said. Hit. The hay!"
"I'll just... let myself out," Soos sideways steps away, and when he's out of sight the beeping of a phone can be heard.
Stan and Ford are looking at themselves in the mirror. Will's just sitting down on a chair nearby.
"Look at us. When did we become old men?" Stan asked.
Ford smiled, "You look like Dad."
"Ugh, uck, don't say that," Stan grumbled.
Ford and Stan laughed
Ford sighs, "Okay, Stanley, here's the deal. You can stay here the rest of the summer to watch the kids. I'll stay down in the basement and try to contain any remaining damage. But when the summer's over, you give me my house back, you give me my name back, and this Mystery Shack junk is over forever. You got it?"
"You really aren't gonna thank me, are you?" Stan asked, "Fine. On one condition: you stay away from the kids; I don't want them in danger. Cause as far as I'm concerned, they're the only family I have left." Stan walks upstairs, stops, starts to look back, "Will... if you want, since the twins know, you can be with Ford," then keeps walking.
Mabel is standing by the door, "Did you hear what they said? I think Grunkle Ford said they're gonna buy us puppies made of ice cream. Might be wishful thinking, though."
"I don't know if this is good or bad. I wanted to meet the author, but..." Dipper frowned.
Mabel sits on her bed, "Yeah. I liked the way things were here before. Just us, Will, and Stan and the occasional goblin-monster."
Dipper shrugged, "Eh, I'm sure they'll work things out."
"Dipper, you don't think we'll turn out like Stan and Ford, do you?" Mabel asked.
Dipper asked, "Well... What do you mean?"
Mabel lays down on her bed, "I mean, they used to be best friends, but then they got all stupid. Can you promise me you won't get stupid?"
"I'm not stupider than you, dum-dum," Dipper smiled.
Mabel laughs, "Good night, stupid."
"Good night, stupid." Dipper turns the light off and closes eyes.
Mabel looks up nervously, "I hope Will's okay..."