Part 7 is here my loves

Sorry for the delay! x

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Chapter 7

Returning to school had become such a burden for Hermione, the weight of the world she lived in rested heavily on her shoulders, and she was fully aware of the certain decisions she'd have to make in the near future.

She hoped that her fourth year would be just as plain as the past three years at Hogwarts have been. No conflict, just her, Regulus and Severus.

Being a Slytherin had its benefits, unlike Gryffindor's, they didn't partake in partying, stupidity and loud activities. They remained hidden, aware of everyone when no one was aware of them.

Hermione was seated in her compartment, with Regulus by her side, both reading a book and not paying attention to the missing presence of Severus, whom they knew was a changed man, and feared what he would look or act like when they saw him. Hermione prayed that he hasn't changed, she did care for Snape dearly, and she would stand by him if needed her to.

Putting her book down, Hermione found herself fidgeting in her seat, her finger tapping vigorously against the cover of the book, her hands shaking slightly, and if Regulus noticed this, he said nothing of it.

"I have to pee." She muttered, getting up and leaving the compartment, and shakily making her way out of the part of the Hogwarts Express that was littered with the snakes, and joining the rest of the houses on the other side.

Hermione felt extremely cold, happiness such a far away concept. She vaguely remembered that this feeling of loneliness, and helplessness did not exist before the walls of that blasted castle that everyone seemed to love so much, enveloped her.

Her feelings for Hogwarts, and for the headmaster were very messy, she didn't know whether she loved being away from her father and the people she knew as family, or whether she hated coming to a place where she had to conceal herself, her true self, from the rest of the world.

A place where she could no longer speak to Sirius, or enjoy a conversation with Remus Lupin and James Potter. She could no longer be the child that she was, or relish in the magic she was learning because she was too busy worrying about keeping everyone safe.

To be aware of the harshness of the reality that stood behind those castle walls made Hermione angry. Angry that men like Tom Riddle were allowed to yield their wands and use it to inflict pain, and torture on the innocent forced bile to rise up her throat and a sweat to break out on her forehead.

Where in the bloody hell was Severus?

She was starting to get restless, and the girls that stood before her were giggling, as they too waited for the long line of girls to finish their business and move along.

She needed to drink something, eat something, she was feeling extremely light-headed. She needed to sit down, now, or she was sure that she would collapse. Where was Regulus, she felt alone again, and the cool breeze that she only seemed to feel crashed against her being causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand straight, and she felt herself release a shaky breathe, wrapping her arms around herself and closing her eyes.

She was vaguely aware that she was shaking violently, and that rubbing her arms up and down was doing nothing for her, not keeping her warm, not comforting her.

She stepped back and her back smacked against the door of a compartment. Letting one hand drop to her side, she was unaware of it grabbing at the handle of the compartment door, or of pushing the door aside and collapsing into a seat inside, not aware of the people who sat there, confused, not acknowledging their presence.

She lifted her knees up on the chair and started muttering to herself, her fingers shakily running through her hair, and her body almost convulsing as she thought of that horrible mark, and how it would be burned into her flesh, how it would be a part of her like it was now a part of Severus.

She wanted to scream, and she didn't notice that the people in the room were calling her name until she came face to face with James Potter and Sirius Black, both staring at her with what looked like concern, but could've been anything else.

"Are you alright Hermione?" she turned to look at Remus, and she knew that she looked bad, really bad. The dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep over this summer, remembering Severus, thinking of what he went through, and what Regulus would have to go through…what she would have to go through.

Shaking her head she tried to still her shaking hands and looked at all of them, studying Peter Pettigrew as he also regarded her with confusion but also the same concern flashed in his eyes.

And then she looked at Sirius and she almost threw herself at him, she needed to hug him, to make sure that he knew that everything she'd ever said to him, she never meant. Oh how she missed him.

And even though she said those horrible things to him, he still looked very scared for her, and he too seemed to be struggling with what he should do, whether he should pull her into his embrace or tell her to get out.

"Hermione?" Remus whispered, and she stared at him, and the scars that she always noticed shined in the light, rubbery pink and white skin that looked like they were painful, but seemed to not bother him, and she wondered what happened to Remus, who hurt him, who inflicted these scars, and why did there seem to be more now then there was just a couple of months ago.

"You know, she talks about you constantly. Always cursing your name, always trying to think of ways to make you pay. Family name tarnished by your stupidity, and all that shite." Hermione began, her voice low and her eyes narrowed at Sirius whose brows furrowed and mouth slightly agape as if he wanted to say something, but she wasn't done. This was getting too much, no one would have to know that she spoke to him, to them, she needed this.

"Surprisingly, she's become even more insane, talking about Regulus and I getting married, and Bella? She's gone completely off her rocker, more than the usual, she's got these ideas and they're…they're bad. So bad." She squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her forehead with her fingers.

At the age of fourteen, Hermione Black was much more beautiful than the majority of any seventh or sixth year girl any boy has ever laid eyes on. Her black tendrils and grey eyes were what stood out the most, but recently she's developed as a woman, more endowed in areas which made it hard for boys in her year to focus on anything else.

"And father, he doesn't know. He doesn't know what I plan to do, and that it will kill him. It will kill him Sirius, do you understand?" she hissed, and Sirius grabbed at her hand, and she wanted to pull away but she didn't.

"You have to understand, that Regulus and I, we don't speak to you, to any of you because the world, it goes further then the bloody rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor. There's a bad man out there, and he plans on killing people like you, blood-traitors, half-bloods…" and she felt herself begin to shake again, and Remus who was seated next to her grabbed at her other hand and she felt her heart leap slightly at the contact.

"What are you trying to say Hermione?" James spoke, his voice urgent, like he wanted to shake the answer out of her.

"I don't know. I felt like I couldn't breathe, I was looking for Severus and I can't…I can't find him anywhere." She stood to go, but Remus held her down, keeping her seated.

"You can't go out there looking like this Hermione. People will ask questions." Remus muttered, his hold on her tightening slightly, and she wanted to shake him off, to tell him to leave her alone, but his skin burned against hers and she felt a strange wave of comfort take over her, slumping against the seat slightly and closing her eyes, screwing them shut like she wanted to cry but she wouldn't let them see her tears.

"I'm a bad person." She muttered, and Sirius began to protest, but she put her hand up, and he shut his mouth, his brows frowning as he looked at his little cousin.

He loved her dearly, a little sister, a friend, and he hated that they haven't spoken in years, and she wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to tell him of what she and Regulus planned to do, but knowing Sirius and the rest of the Marauders, she knew that they'd try stopping them, and that wasn't a possibility.

Not in this world that they lived in.

The compartment door suddenly slammed open and there stood that redhead that Severus was always taken by, and Hermione snapped her eyes up towards her. James seemed to move to the edge of his seat, his hand near his wand, as if Hermione would suddenly grab her wand and curse the muggle girl.

"Oh…hello" the redhead spoke softly, her eyes finding James and she graced him with a small smile.

"Whose your friend?" she spoke, her voice kind and warm, and Hermione felt uncomfortable. She didn't take warmth too kindly, she felt awkward and wanted to stand up again but Remus still had a hold on her.

"Lily, this is my cousin, Hermione Black, and Hermione this is the beautiful Lily Evans." Sirius winked at Lily, who rolled her eyes and graced Hermione with a smile that was blinding, and pretty, and…comforting?

"Nice to meet you Hermione, I've seen you around…Severus. How is he?" Lily's face seemed to grow somber at the mention of Severus, her eyes clouding slightly and Hermione wondered what had happened between the two, Severus never speaks of the girls, but Hermione isn't daft, she's seen him watch her with a weird flicker of emotion in his eyes before he shakes his head and returns to whatever book he's decided to read during dinner.

"He's… he's good. Okay, I guess." Hermione tried to smile at Lily but only formed a grimace, smiling was a hard thing to do.

"That's—well that's good!" Lily tried to sound cheerful, but anyone who was within a 10-mile radius of the girl could sense the unease in her voice, and a tang of sadness.

James also seemed to grow redder in the face at the mention of Severus and Lily. Ah, jealousy, the worst kind of monster.

Lily took a seat next to James, and he instantly grabbed at her hand, squeezing it slightly and looking at her in a way a sixteen year-old should never look at a girl, not at such a young age, but the love shown in his eyes was clear as day, and Lily seemed to be beaming at him as they whispered amongst one another.

However the slamming of the compartment door sounded again, but this time she found herself face to face with a rather breathless Regulus, who was leaning against the compartment door, his breathing shallow and short, and Hermione shook Remus's hold on her, standing up instantly and approaching him.

"What's happened?" she asked, grabbing his hands, and the rest of their company within the compartment also leaned forward, Sirius also standing.

"You fucking disappeared to the bathroom and didn't show for ten minutes Mione, what do you think happened? I thought—never mind what I thought, was just shocked to have Marlene McKinnon tell me that she saw you come in here." Regulus's voice was shaky; he was angry, and confused. But he was mostly worried for Hermione, who still seemed a little shaken up.

"Reg-" Sirius began, but one look from Regulus had Sirius shutting his mouth and taking a seat, copying his friends as they all stared at the two young Blacks.

"I'm sorry Reggie, but sitting in that compartment, with Severus fucking missing for the past hour, I couldn't just stay still and then I got a little dizzy and found myself in here. It's not a big deal. I promise." Hermione started.

"You were dizzy? Are you okay?" he placed his hands softly on her cheeks, and inspected her face and she graced him with a small smirk.

"Scared for me now, are we Reggie?" she teased and he gave her a small smile, leaning in and placing a small kiss on her temple, and she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Have you found him?" she whispered, her voice tired and worn, as if the world had become too much for her, and Regulus knew it has, and he hated how he could do nothing lift this weight off her heart.

"No" and Hermione almost burst into tears right there, but composed herself and turned to face the others, looking at Sirius, something flickering in his eyes as he regarded his brother and cousin, and he stood again, grabbing Hermione's hand and squeezing it.

"You'll be fine Mione, everyone has bad days." He smiled at her and she nodded her head, before turning to Regulus who wrapped his arm around her, and as they both turned to leave, Hermione's eyes fell on Remus who was watching her with an intense looking lingering in the depth of those blue eyes, and Hermione felt her throat constrict slightly, inclining her head towards him before turning away and leaving the compartment in the arms of Regulus.

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Arriving at Hogwarts, sitting at the Slytherin table, and enduring dinner with a bunch of mentally challenged students was enough for Hermione to scream, but the presence of two girls who were grinning at her snapped Hermione out of her reverie.

"Oh Hermione, I've missed you! You haven't sent as many owls like you promised you would." Celia Selwyn wrapped her arms around the girl, squeezing her tightly and Hermione wrapped her arms around the girl loosely, touching was not her forte.

Tabitha smiled at her, placing her hand on her shoulder and squeezing it, and Hermione grinned at the girl, who she found to be so much like her in the smallest of ways.

"Tabitha, Celia this is my cousin Regulus." She introduced them to Regulus, who was seated in front of the three girls with one eyebrow raised as he regarded the love-fest that just took place before him, but gave the girls a small smile nevertheless.

"Oh we know who Regulus is, don't we Tabby?" Celia bumped shoulders with Tabitha who blushed profusely, and looked at the plate in front of her, avoiding Regulus's gaze, who seemed to grow shy as well.

"Pleasure to meet you both." Regulus raised his goblet and gulped down the remaining pumpkin juice, before returning to his book, and leaving Hermione to converse with her friends.

"So Hermione how was the rest of your summer holiday? Did you do anything fun, snog any good-looking blokes?" at this Regulus choked on the piece of chicken he was chewing on, and Hermione turned bright red, smacking Celia on the shoulder and grumbling at the embarrassment the girl seemed to cause Hermione without even noticing.

"No, I did not snog, was it? Any good-looking blokes thank you very much." And rolled her eyes as Tabitha threw a lazy grin her way, and Celia giggled to herself.

The girls continued to talk amongst themselves until a certain shadow was cast upon the four, fourth years and Hermione looked up to see Severus standing there, looking peaky and tired.

She didn't think. She stood up so fast she must've given herself whiplash but she was grabbing on his hand and dragging him out of the Great Hall, the sound of Regulus's footsteps following closely behind as they found a small alcove, cast a silencing charm and a disillusionment charm, and that's when Hermione threw herself at her friend, wrapping herself around him and holding onto him tightly, as he slowly but surely reciprocated the hug, holding onto her as well and shaking slightly.

Regulus placed a hand on his friends shoulder, and squeezed tightly, before moving back as Hermione breathed in the familiar smell of parchment and ink that always seemed to linger on Severus's robes, and then slowly pulled back, analyzing his face and slowly raising her fingers to trace the dark shadows underneath his eyes, he turned to look away form her but she grabbed his chin and forced him to face her, and his lips were in a tight-lipped smile, as he tried to make her feel better, but knew that she wouldn't have any of it.

"Show me." She muttered, and he quickly took a step back.

"No." he held onto his left forearm tightly, and looked at her with a defiance so deep in his eyes that she almost let him get away with it, but this was Hermione Black, and she didn't back down, not even in the presence of Albus bloody Dumbledore.

"I said, show me." She hissed, and Severus tried to turn away but she quickly grabbed on his arm, pulling up the sleeve and coming face to face with a tattoo that looked the same as the one Bella was sporting at that family dinner, the skin surrounded it slightly red and the black so distinct against his pale skin. It looked like there was something wriggling underneath it, and suddenly Hermione felt very sick, and gasped before stepping back and leaning against the wall.

"Oh Sev…" she whispered, and he looked to the ground, covering the mark up quickly and turning his back towards his friends.

"Did it hurt?" it was Regulus now, who was asking the question, who hadn't said a word since they first saw their friend.

"Excruciating." Severus stated, his voice devoid of any emotion and his eyes hollow and dark.

"And him…how was he?" Regulus pushed to know, fear gripping his heart, and Severus looked at the younger boy.

"A monster. Inhuman, the thing your parents tell you will grab you out of your bed at night when you don't do as they say. He is hatred and murder itself." Severus muttered, walking back and forth, staring at the two, watching them, gauging their reactions, but all he saw was nothing. They seemed just as numb as he was.

"I'm sorry you had to go through it alone." Hermione mumbled, and his heart burst with a love for the girl that resembled a love he would have for a younger sister, and nodded his head.

"I'm glad you weren't there. Insanity has become quiet the trend amongst purebloods. Lucius said that a meeting will take place sometime this month, I'll inform you of the details once I have them." He ensured them, and just like that the conversation ended and they returned to the Great Hall, ignoring the stares they received from a specific group sat at the Gryffindor table, and the curious looks from Celia and Tabitha who were still seated where Hermione left them a mere five minutes ago.

"Is everything alright?" Tabitha asked, her voice soft, and she was looking at Regulus, and then Hermione. Avoiding meeting the gaze of Severus Snape, who wasn't popular amongst the population of girls in any of the houses, really.

"Yes, all is well, just haven't seen Severus all summer and wished to catch up with him." Hermione spoke up, her voice injected with false happiness, and her eyes not shining like they should, before taking a seat with the rest of her friends, and enjoying the rest of the meal, all the while ignoring the blue eyes that bore into the back of her head, coming from the Gryffindor table, from a boy with scars and secrets just as dark as hers.