Chapter 6: Changes

A/N: The song is 'Changes' by SAARLOOS

Her voice cracked and she couldn't help thinking what she would have to tell Kelly.

The beeping of her mobile seemed unbelievable loud in her ears. She had lost track of time a while ago so she wasn't exactly sure how long she had been in the cold, white waiting-room of the hospital. For her it felt like days. She had blood all over her but she refused to wash it off. Leaving the waiting room for just a second would mean possibly missing news on her partner's condition. That couldn't happen.
After pacing the room for what felt like the hundreds time, Jenny realized she needed to make some calls. She called Ducky first, simply because he was the only one who could offer some kind of comfort. She had called Morrow after that. She had told him what happened without freaking out and had been very neutral about everything. Never in her life had she needed so much self-control.
And now she was making the worst of all calls. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and her fingers were running nervously through her tangled locks. Somehow she hoped that she wouldn't answer the phone but she was Jethro's daughter after all. There was no way she would ignore rule 3. She answered after the fifth ring. "Kelly Gibbs."

Jenny Shepard hadn't been scared all that often in her life. Her father had told her that there was always something that was more important than fear and she believed in that. But now, standing in a hospital in blood stained clothes and a teenage girl on the other end of the phone, she felt terrified. That feeling seemed to appear all that often lately and it was definitely beginning to get to her.

"Kelly, it's Jenny." For a while there was just silence on the other end until she heard Kelly clear her throat. "What happened? How bad is it?" Jenny closed her eyes for a second and then she took a deep breath. She wasn't going to lie but the truth was so much harder to talk about. "It's bad. Ducky is going to be at your friends house in about five minutes. He's going to drive you to the hospital. I'm here waiting for you, okay?" Silent tears rolled over her cheeks when she heard Kelly sobbing on the other end of the line. She was 15. She wasn't supposed to lose both her parents at that age.

When Jenny ended the call she looked down at herself and realized she had to change into clean clothes if she didn't want Kelly to panic even more. Luckily she still had a bag with spare clothes in Jethro's car which she had driven to the hospital earlier. The speed with which she changed was remarkable. After checking with a nurse that she didn't miss any important news she sat back down - waiting again.

She heard Kelly before she actually saw her. She was sitting on one of these uncomfortable plastic chairs, her head in her hands, trying to compose herself, when she heard someone running down the corridors. As the noise got louder she also heard soft sobbing. Jenny was out of her seat and facing the hallway before Kelly had the chance to survey the waiting room. When she finally noticed Jenny she flung herself into her arms, staining her t-shirt with tears in the progress. When Jenny noticed tears welling up in her own eyes, she maneuvered Kelly and herself back to the plastic seats and buried her face in the dark crimson hair of the sobbing teenager.

"It's okay, honey. It's going to be fine." She didn't know who she was trying to convince, Kelly or herself? Only then she noticed Ducky. He was standing a few meters away, leaning against the wall and observing the scene in front of him with a small smile one his face. When he met her gaze he might have seen something she wasn't ready to admit just yet, wasn't even sure how real it was but if he had indeed noticed he never mentioned it.

It took about an hour for Jenny and Kelly to calm down properly and for Jenny to tell the story of what had happened at the ball. The closeness of each other had brought a calmness to the situation no one had expected. But just sitting there, leaning against each other made them both feel a lot safer than they had expected. It felt like they sat like that for hours when finally a doctor came out of the ICU.

"Family of Agent Gibbs?" Kelly and Jenny jumped out of their seats and rushed over to where the doctor was standing a little out of the way. "Agent Gibbs next of kind is a Kelly Gibbs?!" "That would be me." Kelly raised her hand and looked just the tiniest bit proud. The doctor nodded understandingly, wrote down something on his chart and then turned his attention to Jenny. "And you are?" Jenny stood and stared for a moment before Kelly saved the situation. "She's my mom and my dad's wife." "I'm his dad", Ducky piped up. They didn't have time for another round of questioning. While Jenny still looked a little bit stunned, the doctor started to update them on Jethro's status.

"Agent Gibbs suffered from multiple gunshot wounds to the chest and abdomen. His condition was critical due to the blood loss and we nearly lost him twice on the operation table but we managed to stop the bleeding, remove the bullets and get his circulation going again. He's in ICU right now and is still sleeping. He is going to be in pain for a few weeks but after that he is going to be okay." Kelly, Jenny and Ducky let out a long held breath and Jenny felt like it was the first time she could breath again after what had happened. "Can we see him?" Kelly sounded so sweet and eager there was no way the doctor could deny her anything. He just nodded understandingly. "A nurse will escort you to his room but I suggest only two people at a time."

When the doctor left, Ducky put his coat back on and hugged both women shortly. "I'll let you two be. I'm going to take care of the body they, with no doubt, already sent me and try help the team that got assigned the case. I'll be back later with breakfast." And with that he was down the hall and through the door.

Shortly after that a nurse escorted Jenny and Kelly to a tiny room in the west wing of the hospital. Kelly entered first and Jenny stood outside fo a few seconds, taking a deep breath and preparing herself for what was about to come. When she entered the room she couldn't help noticed how fragile and white her partner looked in that hospital bed. He almost looked dead and she had to close her eyes against the emotions that arose with that thought. He was alive and she held on to that fact as if it was her lifeline. She supposed that somehow it was. While Jenny sat down on a chair next to Jethro's bed side, Kelly sad on the edge of the bed holding his large hand in hers.

It wasn't until a few hours later that Jethro actually woke up. Kelly was long asleep on the couch in the far corner of the room while Jenny hadn't closed her eyes for one second. She had been too afraid that he might stop breathing and nobody would notice.

At first his eyelids just fluttered but then Jenny started to see more and more of the deep blues she was so used to. "Jen", he croaked out but she hushed him with her hand, looking at him intently. "Rest, it's fine. Kelly is here sleeping, you're going to be okay, just rest." He nodded and took her hand that was still covering his mouth in his, squeezing it. "Thank you." She didn't need more and he knew that. He closed his eyes again but didn't let go of her hand and she made no move of taking it back. She sat like that for hours and silently asked herself what the hell she was doing.

Days later when she finally was able to leave the hospital after knowing that Gibbs was indeed going to be okay she went home, took a shower, changed her clothes and got into her car. The drive to Arlington was quiet. She turned the radio down, not being able to listen to anything while her head was full of questions. When she arrived at the cemetery she made a short detour to her dad's grave before she set off to her favorite place.

Sitting down on one of the marble benches she looked straight ahead into the white marble pavilion, reading the inscription. When we assumed the soldier we did not lay aside the citizen. The Memorial Amphitheater was empty at this early hour, the tourists weren't around yet. This memorial always made her think about both sides of the story, it was a place she could properly reflect about what was happening and sort through her thoughts. She had made out that hiding place even before her dad had died and ever since she came here when she needed to be alone.

The last days had confused her. There were feelings that she had never had and emotions she thought were long lost. But he had a child and he was her boss. Otherwise she would have slept with him to get all the sexual tension out of the way and then she would have walked away, ignoring all the other feeling that might be there. But it was more difficult than that. She wasn't just attracted to him, she cared - deeply - and since she had admitted that to herself there was no way of just ignoring the fact that theses feelings were there. And then there was also their friendship. Before everything else they had been friends, partners. That was what she should focus on. Her partner, her career, her goals. Determined to make a few changes Jenny left the cemetery. Focussing on what she could handle and sorting out what she wanted.

Weeks after the shooting Gibbs finally returned to work only to find that his old partner was gone. Not literally gone but in every other sense. She was still friendly but somehow colder. She didn't come over to the house anymore. She still talked to Kelly but even that had minimized. She didn't seem pissed or angry at him. She just was distant. And he couldn't figure out why. Every time he tried to approach her personally she blocked it off. The changes that happened in their partnership and interaction with each other became so obvious to him that after a while he got so desperate that he was thinking off openly calling her out on her behavior when something else got in the way. Morrow had always had a special timing and this time around he really outdid himself. Saying this was going the be a disaster didn't even come close…