A/N: I've never had to do this before, but I'm going to include a trigger warning for this chapter. I don't want to give away too much, but just be aware it's there... Enjoy!
I have to give a shout-out to all my reviewers and those that have followed and favorited this story! It's truly turned into something I never would have expected, but your kind words always cheer me on! Thank you so much!
"You bastards really think you can take on Fairy Tail?!" Natsu challenged, his fists bursting into flame as he stared down the three enemies before them. "Well, you've got another thing coming!"
Estobar was completely unfazed, looking at his fingernails before rubbing them against his overcoat, bored. "Oh, really?" he taunted, rolling blood red eyes vaguely in Natsu's direction. "And what are you going to do about it, Fire Boy?"
Natsu's eyebrow twitched as a vein pulsed in his forehead. "What'd you call me?!"
Finding a sore spot, or rather another one, Estobar grinned. "Oh! Do you not like being called 'Fire Boy'?"
Natsu's lips pulled back in a snarl. The more he talked to Estobar, the more he wanted to rip the pompous man's throat out with his own two hands. He'd never thought of using his teeth before, but he was considering it, given his growing despicable hatred for the man. "There's only one person allowed to call me shit like that, and it ain't you!"
Lucy's hand at his back pressed gently, perhaps out of realization that he tolerated Gray's taunts just as much as the Ice Make Mage tolerated his, but it wasn't new information, not really. Underneath the violent teasing and sarcasm, the two were like brothers. Regardless, her eyes were on Lady Sinara and Linkin. Lady Sinara stood with one hand on her hip, that hip cocked out to the side in a lazy, yet seductive posture that screamed she was bored and couldn't wait to liven up the action. Linkin was another story. His face was impassive and unreadable. Beneath eyebrows that were as white as his hair, Lucy could make out his gaze tracking Natsu, but then flicking to her. What do they plan on doing?
The thought no sooner flitted through Lucy's mind, before their surroundings began to change. Her vision (or was it the image of where she was) shimmered and wavered before her, like paint being smeared that wasn't quite yet dry. Based on Natsu's lack of motion sickness, she knew they hadn't actually moved, but based on the fact that the pale sand at their feet was being replaced with dark brown dirt, and the stone walls of the coliseum were being replaced with wooden stadium-style seating, Lucy knew where they were. They were back in the circus tents, gathered together beneath "The Big Top".
"Tell me," Lucy began, stubbornly stepping out from behind Natsu's protective arm. "How did you know what I was afraid of?" While she was trying to cause a distraction, she was also truly curious. "It's not something many people know," she swallowed nervously before adding, "if anyone."
Estobar regarded her with cold eyes. It was eerie how eyes so similar to Gajeel's could strike her with such unease and fear. While Gajeel could be cold and distant, dislike sometimes evident in his gaze; since coming to Fairy Tail, he'd never had that murderous intent behind his eyes – that look of complete and utter apathy.
"Luce," Natsu cautioned, stepping forward to be in front of her again.
Lucy's eyes snapped to his, her gaze fierce and determined. Now that the illusion was over, he could clearly see the tear-streaks staining her face through the dirt that had been smudged across her cheeks. Her fear was gone, and it was replaced with a deep sense of injustice that he knew she had to satisfy herself, or there would be no closure. Words weren't needed between them before she returned her gaze to Estobar, who remained silent. "Tell me! You've told us everything else so far!"
Linkin stepped forward, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Why should he tell you that?"
"Why not? You clearly don't plan on letting us leave here," she spat.
Estobar put a restraining hand on Linkin's shoulder and stepped forward. "It's easy, my dear, and I do believe you've already figured it out."
Natsu and Lucy's eyes widened as they first looked at Estobar, before turning to each other. "Natsu," she breathed, stepping back as real fear gripped her once more. She had suspected as much, but wasn't certain, until Estobar spoke. She knew the mist was partially responsible for altering their perceptions, but then how could Estobar know the fears of so many people when he was able to paralyze and terrorize the entire patronage of the circus? If the mirrors played a part, what part did they exactly play? He'd touched her when she went into the mirrors, so she suspected touch was a part of it, but again, if that were the case how could he affect so many? He certainly wouldn't have time to touch all of them. It was when Linkin asked about finding out Natsu's fear that she really worried. Estobar had said he didn't need to know his fear, but Natsu had struck him, hit him with enough force to throw him back through several wooden beams. He'd touched him, and therefore exposed himself to Estobar's magic. Maybe he hadn't used it against him yet, but he certainly could…
The look in Lucy's eye sent a shudder of unease rippling down Natsu's spine. She was looking at him with fear in her eyes, not for herself but for him. "Luce?" he whispered, taking her hand without realizing it.
"We've seen Miss Ashley's fear," Estobar suddenly shouted, causing the two mages to jump, "Or is it Miss Lucy? I lose track," he chuckled darkly, his eyes falling on Natsu who was torn between comforting Lucy and violently attacking the wizard before him. "I think now's the time to see what your fear is!" When he finished, he was pointing at Natsu, and with growing horror, Natsu realized the mist was surrounding them, growing so thick he could scarcely make out the details of the tents around them.
"Lucy, run!" he shouted, turning her around and shoving her in the opposite direction of their enemy. The mist followed, but the wizards did not, Estobar's rough cackling echoing through the tunnel they ducked into as though carried by the mist.
They were no sooner in the tunnel, then they became enshrouded in darkness. A sense of déjà vu swept over Lucy with such physical force, she stumbled, bile rising up in the back of her throat as she recalled her terrifying trek through the tunnel at the coliseum. The only thing that kept her from falling was Natsu's firm grip sliding to her wrist. "Natsu?" she asked as he hauled her back to her feet. She could feel the mist surrounding them, even if she couldn't see it. It was cold and moist, yet intangible, making her skin crawl.
His hand trembled from where they were joined, his eyes piercing the darkness surrounding them. Even though he'd been struck with terror at the thought of not being able to find Lucy, at the thought of Lucy being harmed, it still wasn't his truest, deepest fear. It was something no one knew, not even Happy, because he buried it so far within himself he tried to pretend it didn't exist; and yet it did, guiding many of his actions without his direct knowledge and driving him forward in times when he would have given up otherwise. But how would this fear be shown? He had no idea, nor did he want to know. Most importantly of all, he did not want Lucy to see it.
Although he hated to do it, Natsu gave voice to his worry, his tone deep and gruff as he continued to scan the darkness. "Luce, you've got to get out of here."
Still unable to see him, Lucy spun toward where she knew Natsu to be – his radiant heat and position of his hand on hers gave him away. "No way! I'm not leaving you!"
His voice lowered and contrary to his words, his grip on her wrist tightened – bruising in its strength. "I'm not asking," he growled.
Her soft gasp tore through him like a shock as light suddenly appeared from behind her. Natsu sensed the change first, his eyes going wide as the pit in his stomach only fell lower. He felt like he'd swallowed a giant rock, so big and so heavy it threatened to pull him into a different realm entirely – a realm filled with pain, darkness, and despair. His chest was so tight and utterly frozen he could scarcely breathe; all his senses attuned to their surroundings as he tried to anticipate something he didn't fully understand – nor did he want to.
"And where do you suggest I go?!" Lucy cried, anger ringing clearly in her voice. "We're stronger when we're together!"
While her words rang true, Natsu knew this was the one time they weren't. What do I have to say to get her to go?! Sucking in a deep breath for courage, Natsu released her hand to grip her shoulders tightly, his face only lightly illuminated from the growing light in the distance. Lucy could only make out half his features, and even those were dim, but the wildness in his gaze, the orange depths flickering desperately in his emerald eyes, caused her to suck in a nervous breath. Darkness that wasn't normally there surrounded his eyes, his features made even sharper by the scant light filtering into the tunnel. She had never seen him look more terrifying. "I'm not thinking clearly, Luce," he finally admitted, squeezing his eyes shut as he remembered the blood-lust – the violent desire to rip Estobar's throat out with his own teeth, reveling in the feel of his sticky and hot blood gushing out over him, the urge to punch his fist straight through the clown's chest. He wanted blood, needed blood like it was the elixir of life… It was all that could calm the raging storm within him, not that that made any sense. "I," he hesitated, "I don't want you to see this, and I-I don't want to hurt you," he murmured at last, as he finally opened his eyes once more.
The anguish in Natsu's gaze tore at Lucy's heart and she reached up to cup his cheeks in her palms. "You won't hurt me, Natsu," she breathed, stepping closer to him. "I know you won't."
He was trembling beneath her grasp, the thoughts of 'Mine! She's MINE!' reverberating through his mind. Even though he fought it, he pulled her into his arms, deeply inhaling her scent one last time as she leaned into him. He buried his nose in her hair, his eyes drifting closed as he allowed himself this one last moment of peace before he prepared to face his inner demon. I love you, Lucy, he breathed inwardly, before squeezing his eyes shut and shoving her away from him. "Get out of here!" he snarled, turning his fierce gaze to the light in front of them. He could already feel it coming.
To his surprise, there was no response from Lucy when he shoved her. When he sniffed the air, the hair on the back of his neck rose on end. He could no longer sense her… It's for the best, he grudgingly admitted, a small amount of relief washing over him that maybe she could be spared this.
His body was tingling and warm, the jolts strengthening as they rippled across his body, and the warmth increasing until half of him burst into flames without his consent. His eyes drifted closed as he recognized the sensations flooding him, the undeniable strength and sense of raw power that ignited within him whenever he used his magic, but also the changes that accompanied his transformation into Dragon Force, and yet different – his left side grew firmer, his skin thicker, as red scales erupted across his skin. The fingers and nails of his left hand elongated into sharp talons, and a chunk of his hair on the left side of his head curled and hardened into a spiraling black horn. Pain erupted from his left shoulder as his body changed, and he staggered forward, a wing taking shape and snapping out behind him until he tucked it in against his back with an automatic flex of his muscles that he didn't understand. Although the changes were painful, they also made him shiver with delight, a quiet groan escaping his lips. He felt it all like a bystander, watching something mystical and strange happen to someone else while he remained safely inside the little zone allotted him in a mind that no longer belonged to him. When his eyes snapped open, they glowed just as orange as his flames, the slit in his pupils even more obvious against the lighter-colored iris; and when he licked his lips and inhaled, he could smell fresh blood in the air. Yes! The dragon had taken over.
The last thing Lucy remembered, she was in Natsu's arms, feeling warm and secure. The next thing she knew, he was shoving her back, the force painful as she crashed into the wall behind her, knocking the wind out of her with a surprised huff. Her eyes shut from the force of the impact, but the moment she felt something (was it a finger?) poke her temple followed by the sickening feeling of Lady Sinara's restraints brushing against her legs, she snapped them open and gasped, jumping to the side. Where the hell am I?!
No longer in the tunnel, Lucy immediately recognized the guild. Everyone was there, even though she knew they weren't in reality. Erza sat at the bar, eating strawberry cake with Jellal at her side. Gray and Juvia sat in a booth drinking what appeared to be root beer floats. Levy and Gajeel sat in a different booth, absorbed in their own separate books. Mira was manning the bar, feeding Cana a never-ending supply of booze while Laxus, Freed, and Bickslow sulked in a corner. Evergreen sat with them, her eyes on Elfman across the room. Macao and Wakaba sat together gossiping, while the Alzacks sat at one of the round tables, playing a game of cards with little Asuka. Lisanna and Kinana stood behind the bar, talking quietly with Max, Warren, Reedus and Laki. Jet and Droy sat together, eying Levy and Gajeel with dejected looks on their faces. Even the Master was there, sitting on the bar with his legs crossed, a half-empty mug in his lap. With a shock, she saw a perfect replica of herself strolling through the front door, book in hand, and heading for an empty booth. Natsu wasn't with her, but Happy was. It seemed like a typical day in Fairy Tail, with just a few modifications. "What the hell?!" Lucy cried out in her surprise, momentarily forgetting Lady Sinara's presence. How do they know this?!
"Surprised to see this?" a sultry voice suddenly asked from beside her, making Lucy jump and squeal in surprise.
"You!" she cried, her hand falling to her hip. She frowned when she realized it was still empty. But it's not! My spirits are there! This is just the illusion! She tried to force her thoughts past it, draw on the energy of her spirits at her hip, like she knew they were, but to her dismay, nothing changed.
"He was witness to your fear, I think it's only fair that you're witness to his," Lady Sinara calmly stated, smiling at Lucy's surprise as her eyes gleamed menacingly. A moment later and she flicked her wrist, the restraints immediately slithering up Lucy's legs to wrap around her and hold her tightly.
As the restraints split, moving up to Lucy's arms, they brushed against the wounds on her stomach – the slash marks inflicted by the clown, who had been real enough despite her illusion. The touch sparked a sharp pain as blood trickled anew from the injury and Lucy flinched despite her resolve to be strong. "What did you do to him?" she spat, her concern for Natsu overriding her own pain. "Where is he?!"
Lady Sinara's smile grew into a wide grin as a wave of heat reached Lucy as though in answer to her question. Normally Natsu's heat was comforting, even when he was in battle. At least, it was to her. It was his sign that he was alive and well, that he was Natsu – but this heat felt different. It was somehow cold even though it was hotter than she'd ever felt, and violent. Hatred, fear, and rage seethed in the boiling heat, somehow bringing goosebumps to her skin as she felt Natsu's suffering through the waves of heat washing over her. "Natsu," she whispered.
The scent of blood filled his nostrils and triggered something in Dragon Natsu's mind, something dark and primal. A growl rumbled from deep within his chest at the underlying scent in the blood – a scent that called to him and made him hunger not only for the taste of it, but for the being it belonged to. He had to possess such a being, had to claim it for his own before devouring it… The growl growing in intensity, he sprung forth with speed that normally he could not achieve, heading for the glowing light in front of him.
When he burst forth into the light, Dragon Natsu squinted, throwing his arms up in front of his face to block the brightness for a moment. Looking around, a voice in the back of his mind told him he knew the place – it was the guild, he faintly recalled – and the people he knew as well, or supposedly did. Without realizing it, he'd barged through the front doors, throwing them open with such force they cracked the walls, the entire building trembling. Everyone inside turned at his sudden entrance, surprise evident on their faces as he stood in front of the door, his arms spread and his chest heaving, as he looked for the source of the scent that tantalized him.
"Natsu?!" Erza cried, jumping to her feet with enough force to throw her barstool out behind her.
At the sound of surprise and fear in Erza's voice, everyone in the guild visibly shrunk back from Natsu. While the dragon part of him puffed in pride, the small part in the back of his mind that was still Natsu was devastated, tears stinging his eyes. They fear me?! Guys, it's me! I'm still in here! He tried to call out to them, to make his presence inside the beast known, to no avail.
"Natsu, what happened?" Gray was the one to ask, stepping forward from where the guild had stepped back surprisingly fast. Only a few brave souls remained at the forefront.
"Where is it?" Dragon Natsu demanded. His voice wasn't his own. It was deep and gravely, like two boulders rubbing together.
"Where's what?" Gajeel asked, stepping forward with Gray to defend the others.
Dragon Natsu sniffed the air once more. It was close, so close he shivered, his wing flexing out behind him. "That smell," he muttered.
"Natsu!" Lucy cried, recognizing his Dragon Form with dread coiling in her stomach. She knew he was still in there, trapped in a dark corner of the beast's mind. Is this what he fears?! He didn't hear her – she might as well have been invisible.
What got Dragon Natsu's attention, was the fake "Lucy", calling out to him just as she had done, Happy clutched tightly to her chest. Dragon Natsu's eyes darted to hers, the fierce flaming hunger so strong in his gaze that she trembled, even if it wasn't exactly directed at her. When he smiled, his teeth were even sharper than normal, his gaze more predatory as his eyes raked over her form. Within a fraction of a second, he was before her, Happy tossed unceremoniously aside, and his nose against her neck as he inhaled deeply. "Mine," he breathed, so quietly only "Lucy" could hear.
A shiver made its way down "Lucy's" spine. His breath was hot on her neck, the rest of his body radiating an intense heat that immediately flushed her cheeks. The deep rumble to his voice, the surety and confidence in it, made her cheeks darken even more, spreading to her neck and ears as she did her best to tuck her chin down. "Natsu?" she whispered, his hands moving to her waist. One was his, rough and calloused, and yet gentle and warm; while the other was fierce and hardened with scales, his sharp nails digging into her.
"Mine," he repeated, teeth grazing her neck.
This time Lucy did hear his words, and a shiver ran through her. What the hell is he doing?! While she longed to hear him say such things, watching him say it to something that wasn't actually her made her feel ill. She knew this wasn't him but didn't understand how this was supposed to be his fear. It wasn't until his grip visibly grew in intensity, his claws drawing blood, that a trickle of understanding teased the back of her mind.
The other "Lucy" didn't appear to share her feelings as she attempted to squirm from his grasp, putting her hands on his shoulders. "Natsu?! What the hell are you doing?! That hurts." He didn't relent, pulling her roughly against him as his wing spread out to wrap around her. "Natsu, stop!" she demanded, attempting to hold him away but his strength was too much for her. He was too strong for her on a normal day, but this was clearly even more so.
"No," he ground out, shoving her back into the table with such force "Lucy" flinched.
"That's enough, Natsu!" Erza suddenly barked, brandishing her sword behind him. "Let Lucy go." Jellal stepped out from behind her with daggers in his eyes.
The sight of Natsu manhandling "her" made feelings flood Lucy she wasn't ready for. What is he doing? What does this mean? She couldn't make heads or tails out of what she was seeing, nor what she was feeling based on Natsu's wild actions. He was like a beast unleashed, and although her belly fluttered pleasantly, her heart ached at what she was witnessing. It was so private, she felt as though she was violating their deep sense of trust simply with her presence.
"Surprising, isn't it?" Lady Sinara murmured, her voice surprisingly close as she leaned her chin on Lucy's shoulder. Lucy refused to give her the satisfaction of an answer. "What does seeing him like this make you feel?" she whispered, turning a truly curious gaze to Lucy, her blue eyes flashing.
Lucy ground her teeth. "Release him."
The lady shrugged. "Sorry, that's not my department."
"What do you want?" Lucy whispered back, her eyes widening as Natsu grinned roguishly at the other "Lucy", keeping her close to him with his wing as he turned to face Erza.
"She is mine."
His statement was so calm, Lucy couldn't help but stare, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open, but the guild was having none of it. "Like hell she is," Gray argued, stepping forward with his legs spread wide and one fist pulled back against his other hand. He was ready to battle. His sense of kinship with Natsu was gone, replaced with the need to protect "Lucy", who was like a sister to him. "Now let her go."
"Lucy's" lip curled up in disgust as she shoved against him, breaking free of his wing and stumbling to the side. "I belong to no one, you monster!"
Dragon Natsu's face fell for only a moment, and in that moment, Lucy saw a flicker of the real Natsu being held captive. His eyes darkened to his true emerald, his face falling in anguish as he physically staggered, his right hand moving as though to clutch at his aching heart.
"No, Natsu! That isn't me!" she yelled, in her heart knowing he wouldn't hear her, but unable to stand the look of devastation on his face.
A second later and the true Natsu was gone, replaced by the dragon within him, his eyes alight as his lips pulled back in a snarl. He kept the wide stance as he dropped into a crouch. "We'll see about that," he threatened. "I'll make you mine."
"Please. I'll do anything," Lucy whimpered, tears stinging her eyes as she watched "Lucy's" reaction to Dragon Natsu's words and his true response. "Let him go."
"Can't do that," Lady Sinara repeated, turning her gaze back to the scene before her. "Besides, this is wonderful entertainment, isn't it?!"
"It's disgusting and cruel," Lucy answered, wanting to close her eyes and avoid the scene in front of her, but unable to.
"She clearly isn't diggin' it," Gajeel argued with Dragon Natsu, taking a threatening step closer.
"Don't force this, Kid, or we'll be forced to stop you," Laxus finally joined the fray, lightning already flickering across his shoulders.
Dragon Natsu just tensed, his oddly bright eyes sizing up his opponents. "You can try," he taunted, before bursting forth with a whirlwind of flames. "Dragon Slayer Secret Art! Crimson Lotus: Exploding Flame Blade!" Before anyone could so much as flinch, the whole of the guild was immediately engulfed in flames, cries of pain and despair emerging from their depths as Dragon Natsu looked on with disinterest. A smirk reached his lips as no retaliation occurred, his flames licking at the walls, and he turned back to face "Lucy", who noticeably cringed away from him.
"What have you done?!" "she" screamed, tears shining in her eyes. The cries dwindled behind Natsu's flames, and it was obvious she knew what that meant – the real Lucy did too. The fact that no one had been able to fight back, the fact that even her clothes were singed and steaming, told her he had meant to kill – and he had. Lucy had to remind herself over and over that it wasn't real as tears stung her eyes, fighting to see her fallen comrades through the smoke and flames.
"They won't stop me," he growled.
"Natsu!" Lucy cried, straining against Lady Sinara's restraints. "Snap out of it!"
Dragon Natsu approached "Lucy" like a predator stalking its prey. She trembled before him before Happy dropped from the sky, attempting to kick him. He was easily batted aside with his dragon-like arm, the force throwing him through the wall and out of sight. "Leave me alone!" "Lucy" shrieked.
"But Lucy," he started, his voice sounding more like his own. So much so that a lump formed in Lucy's throat, choking her.
"Natsu! I'm right here!" she shouted, her voice hoarse from the lump in her throat, as the tears finally fell.
"You just destroyed our entire guild! You killed them! I never want to look at your disgusting face again!" the fake Lucy was screaming, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stepped back for each step Dragon Natsu took forward. "You even attacked Happy! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"You are," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. His eyes flashed as he watched "Lucy's" movements, her hand falling to her hip.
I don't understand, Lucy's thoughts ran rampant. Why is this happening?! What could this mean?! It seemed pointless, but she knew it wasn't.
"Loke!" "Lucy" shrieked just as Dragon Natsu pounced.
A yellow magic circle appeared as "Lucy's" strongest Celestial Spirit was summoned without the use of his key. While he normally flirted with his master, cracking off a smart comment the moment he arrived, this time he was all business – immediately dropping into a crouch and launching himself at Dragon Natsu in an attempt to intercept him from his mistress.
Loke was just a little too slow as Dragon Natsu's claws caught in "Lucy's" shirt, ripping it as they toppled to the floor. The Celestial Spirit still managed to hit his mark, for Dragon Natsu was no sooner on his master than he was violently kicked off, flying into a table with a grunt. "Leave her alone," Loke snarled, standing protectively over "Lucy", who was desperately trying to keep her shirt together.
"Oh, so the kitten decided to come out and play," Dragon Natsu taunted, fire forming in his fist. "Care to die with the others?"
"I won't let you harm Lucy," Loke quietly vowed. Lucy's heart ached with the heartfelt promise she knew was real. If only Loke were truly there…
"Then die!" Dragon Natsu roared, whipping his arms into a cyclone of fire that Loke tried to block with his own magic, Lion Brilliance. He was quickly overpowered as Dragon Natsu rushed forth through the flames and Loke's light, only slightly slowed down by the Celestial Spirit's power, before physically striking him and throwing him lifelessly across the room. "Lucy" on the floor gasped as Dragon Natsu landed with his feet on either side of her. His blood already hot and boiling, he quickly dropped to his knees. "I told you, you're mine," he growled.
"Lucy" swallowed, her tears continuing to fall as she placed restraining hands against Dragon Natsu's chest. "Never," she vowed, her eyes flashing as heat enveloped the room.
Dragon Natsu cocked his head to the side, his lips pulling back in a dangerous sneer as the hand that was still his trailed down to her waist. Lucy blushed, feeling like she should avert her eyes, but was unable to, even as the "Lucy" before her trembled and clearly tried to push Dragon Natsu away. He easily caught her hands up with his, pressing them above her head and dragging his claws down across her chest and abdomen, drawing blood as he went. "Then I'll just take you," he snarled, pressing his claws into her hip.
"Lucy" whimpered, struggling against his firm grip as he tore her flesh. Blood dripped from his claws as he brought them to his mouth, licking one claw clean and shuddering. "You taste even better than I expected," he whispered, his wing flaring out behind him as he lowered his mouth to her hip, running his tongue up and across the wounds, catching all four of them in a swift diagonal motion that made the "Lucy" beneath him gasp and tense in his grasp. The real Lucy could only stare, dumbfounded. "Last chance," he threatened, licking the blood from his lips as his eyes bespoke of the fire within.
"Fuck you!" "Lucy" spat, attempting to buck free beneath him.
"As you wish," Dragon Natsu answered, and plunged his fangs into her throat. The "Lucy" beneath him let out a strangled scream, her legs kicking uselessly as he lowered his body onto hers, successfully pinning her to the floor as her life's blood spilled into his mouth, coating his hands in its warmth with such a pleasant sweetness, he groaned. In his ecstasy, he released her hands to clutch her to him in what would appear to be a passionate embrace if not for the growing pool of blood surrounding them.
"No," Lucy breathed, unable to believe what she was seeing. She wanted to cry out to Natsu, to bring him back into reality, but how could she do that? He'd apparently witnessed her torture and hadn't been able to do a thing. Is this what it felt like? She felt awful, like she'd just seen something forbidden and dark – something not meant for anyone but Natsu. She'd violated him in perhaps the worst way possible, seeing into the dark recesses of his mind that he clearly kept hidden from all of them. She'd seen his Dragon Form and not been afraid – not even a little – because she trusted him with her entire being. But is this what he truly feared? Losing control? Killing those close to him? The manner in which he'd killed her raised more questions than it answered, his possessive words running through her mind on repeat. What will he feel once he knows I've seen this?!
Natsu managed to free himself from the dragon just as "Lucy" sighed her last breath, her eyes growing dim and dark as the hands that had been gripping him, trying to fight him off until the very end, fell lifelessly to her sides. His eyes widened in horror as he took in the blood pooled around him, sticking to him with a sick warmth that made his stomach turn. Pain registered in his body, an incessant itching as the Dragon Form disappeared, his wing shrinking back into his shoulder, his horn collapsing back into his wild hair, and the scales receding back into his skin. He barely noticed it, his eyes on "Lucy" beneath him. She was naked from the waist up, her top clearly ripped by the claws that were turning back into his fingernails. What wasn't ripped was singed, burns marring her otherwise flawless skin along her right side. He'd never burned her...
On instinct he jolted, jerking back and up onto his knees in shock as his breath left him, his heart freezing in his chest. "Lucy?!" he cried, agony and anguish causing his voice to crack as his heart shattered into a million pieces. His breath coming in short, ragged gasps, he forced himself forward, his hand trembling as he traced her wounds in shock without touching them. "Oh, Luce," he groaned, burying his face in his hands. He'd caused this…
He collapsed over her, his elbows hitting the ground painfully on either side of her shoulders, but he didn't notice. Tears stung his eyes as he squeezed them shut, only to have to open them a moment later, still unable to believe what he was seeing, what he was smelling. His head cocked slightly to the side as he held his breath, listening. Listening for her heartbeat and hearing nothing, absolutely nothing coming from her, tore a new hole through him. There was no blood pulsing in her veins, no breath moving in and out of her lungs. She was silent.
"Lucy, what have I done?!" he shrieked, sitting back and pulling her into his arms as he clutched her to his chest. He buried his face in her hair, the once luxurious locks matted and coated with blood. "Oh, Mavis, what have I done?!" he whispered into her hair, tears immediately spilling down his cheeks and leaving clean traces through the blood marring his skin. Blood there both from the lethal wound he inflicted and through smearing it across his own face in his despair.
A soft inhale bespoke of the rest of the tragedy in the room and Natsu froze in terror. He stiffened, the need to see what he'd done battling his fear of knowing. With great care, he gently lowered Lucy back to the floor, pulling what remnants of her clothing he could back to cover her nakedness, and smoothing her hair before he gingerly closed her eyes. "I'm so sorry," he murmured. Wiping his nose on the back of his hand, Natsu shakily forced himself to his feet. He was unsteady and staggered, having to hold onto the table he'd forced Lucy against in order to keep from falling. He remembered it all clearly, even though his actions were veiled in a fog, and he fell back to his knees with the weight of his despair. "Lucy!" he cried, holding himself up with his hands curled into fists as he hung his head.
"Natsu! I'm right here!" Lucy shouted, barely able to see past her own tears. Seeing him so broken, so full of remorse and shame, broke her heart. She was filled with such pain for him, tight bands of it squeezed her heart so painfully, she could scarcely breathe. "Please, just look at me! I'm fine!"
Lady Sinara snickered, throwing an arm casually over Lucy's shoulders. "He can't hear you. It would ruin the moment."
"Stop this!" Lucy shrieked, hatred boiling within her chest.
Natsu forced himself to his feet once more, grinding his teeth together. He'd done this – he had to see it. Inhaling a shaky breath, he took a step forward and nearly tripped over Loke's lifeless body, his glasses broken where they still sat on his nose. Flinching, Natsu stepped around him, raising his eyes to where some of Fairy Tail's strongest had attempted to stand against him. Now only charred, lifeless bodies remained. "I-I did this?" he whispered, shaking as he came across Gray and Erza. Erza's hand still clutched her sword, Jellal pulling her into the circle of his arms and putting his back to Natsu's flames, but he hadn't been able to save her. Gray was still in his fighting stance, but a look of surprise was forever frozen on his face. Gajeel was grimacing, his arm pulled back as though he were about to release an Iron Dragon Fist. Laxus was the closest one to him, his body burned into a permanent running position. His eyes swept the rest of the room, his friends huddled for safety in the back corner. Based on their stiff positions as they cowered away from his flames, he wanted to believe they had died quickly, but their cries ringing in his ears, their pain, told him otherwise.
"Gramps?" he muttered, coming upon Fairy Tail's master. "How?" he breathed, his head swimming as he turned and found Lucy once more. Pain unlike anything he'd ever experienced took root in his chest, burning and crushing and stabbing as he bent over, supporting himself with his hands on his thighs as his whole world came crashing down around him. I did this… I killed them all… His eyes returned to Erza's sword, which still shone brightly, and he made his way over to it.
Lucy saw where Natsu's eyes went and she gasped, her mouth falling open. All sense left her as terror gripped her in its vice-like hold. No! Natsu, you can't! "Natsu, no!" she shrieked, her voice cracking as she fought against Lady Sinara. "Let me go you evil witch! You can't let this happen!"
Lady Sinara smiled, moving Lucy closer as Natsu pried Erza's crisp hand open. "A world without Fairy Tail," Natsu muttered, his eyes falling on Lucy. "A world without Lucy…" His throat closed on him and he had to swallow as he crawled through the blood, soot and ash back to "Lucy's" side. "Luce, I'm so sorry," he whimpered, brushing her hair back from her cheek. His hands shook as he whimpered, the sound small and pitiful coming from such a strong wizard – the strongest Lucy knew. His breath hitched, the sword falling lifelessly from his hands as he fell forward, his elbows against his legs as he once more buried his face in his hands. "This can't be real," he pled, slowly rocking back and forth. "Please, let this be a dream. Lucy, you have to be alive…"
Tears flooded Lucy's eyes anew as her heart broke for her partner. Having not seen what the death of Future Lucy did to him, she was filled with emotions she couldn't name or process. And this time he had no one to take out his anger on, except himself. All she knew was that she had to protect him, had to save him from this horror.
Natsu picked the lifeless "Lucy" back up, cradling her gently to him and continuing to rock as he sobbed into her neck. "I never got to tell you how much I love you," he whispered so quietly Lucy couldn't hear. "I'm so sorry." Swallowing thickly, he gently kissed her forehead, his lips lingering as he was reluctant to leave her. "I'll see you soon," he muttered with a sniffle as he gently set her back down.
Panic flooded Lucy with a palpable heat, rushing through her in a flash from the crown of her head to her toes. "Natsu, no! Stop! Please!"
He continued without hearing her, sniffling as he bent to pick up the sword he'd dropped at Lucy's side. His eyes roamed to the rest of his comrades, grief lining his face as he looked at each of them in turn. He tried to remember them in life, their bright and shining faces, the determination in their eyes, and the brilliance of their smiles. It was difficult to see through their charred remains. Flinching, he pulled his eyes from them, his heart strangely calm as he turned Erza's sword on himself, the tip aimed appropriately for his already shattered heart. "Please, forgive me," he whispered, and plunged the blade forward.
"NOOOOOOO!" Lucy screamed. Her world came crashing to a halt as she saw that sword move. Her legs buckled as stars shot through her vision, threatening to rob her of it; and if it weren't for Lady Sinara's restraints, she would have fallen to the floor.
Her words went unheard as the entire building shook and trembled, the walls splintering and exploding outward as fire engulfed the room. Heat unlike anything Lucy had ever experienced washed over her, flushing her cheeks and singing her clothes, but not harming her physically. The restraints binding her to Lady Sinara grew hot, burning her so fiercely she screamed. A moment later, she realized there was another voice screaming. Lady Sinara was also crying, screeching as her clothes burned against her skin, her skin turning a dark, blistered pink, until she finally released her restraints in order to flee.
Released, Lucy collapsed into a heap on the floor, gasping for breath as smoke filled the room. A demonic roar erupted from in front of her, causing goosebumps to break out across her skin as she peered into the flames. Natsu was there, kneeling on the floor as he had been when attempting to end his life, his head tilted back, and mouth opened wide in an agonized roar that sent shivers down Lucy's spine. The flames unmistakably came from him as they swirled upward and into the sky, whipping his hair into a frenzy and licking his body but not touching him as tears ran down his cheeks. His eyes were squeezed shut, his hands clenched into fists that shook, but when Lucy looked closer, her eyes as wide as saucers, she could see the scales forming there. They were sporadic and random, creating patches on his arms and face. He was entering Dragon Force.
A/N: I have to say that I am well-aware that Natsu's Dragon Form as mentioned here comes from Dragon Cry, which takes place after the year-long time skip, while this story takes place before Tartaros. I'm sorry for taking such creative liberties, but it fit with my story and that's what FanFiction is all about, right? I hope you enjoyed, even though I think this may be the darkest one I've written yet… It kind of definitely took on a life of its own and before I knew it, I was like, "What am I even writing?!" Sorry, not sorry! ;) As always, comments and reviews are always welcome!
Inspiration for Natsu's Dragon Form came from here, which is based off Dragon Cry: onecoloredlily/art/Natsu-s-Dragon-Form-704001260 - OneColoredLily is awesome!
Inspiration for Natsu roaring as he enters Dragon Force came from here: hazaelxo/art/Parallels-of-Sadness-506445450 - I was mainly searching for him and got Lucy as an added bonus in this one, but let's face it, they're both doing the same thing at this point..
As always, I do not own Fairy Tail or any of the characters. They all belong to Hiro Mashima, I just own this story.