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Part Two | Pain & Fire
Thirty-Seven. Entirely Responsible for her Heart
Pansy crashed through the dark, stony corridors of the dungeons, as fast as her body was able, yet it was entirely not fast enough.
The smile that was stretching Alecto's mouth was wide and haunting. Pansy struggled to remember a time where the Death Eater had looked so gleeful, even the many, many times she had witnessed the torture curse radiate from Alecto's wand onto the writhing body of a student - usually Neville, did not compare to the sheer, wild, joy that was plastered onto her pale face.
The grip Pansy held her wand with tightened as her eyes passed from one Carrow to the next; Amycus was standing beside his sister, an entirely different expression poised on his face - one not dissimilar to Pansy's own perfected mask of indifference. Amycus looked, as always, more dangerous than his crazed sister. Cold emanated from the man; it seeped from every orifice his stature had, and held his face terrifyingly still, unreadable and colourless, save his piercing blue eyes, which sliced through Pansy like ice.
Amycus still, if she were honest, set every part of Pansy on edge. Made every hair on her body stand to attention as though manipulated by a magnetic field. Alecto was an open book, she relished in inflicting pain and did so with such a good humour, with such ferocity, in any other scenario involving any other act, would be comical. Her brother, however, was altogether different; where his sister acted without much thought, curses tumbling from her tongue with reckless abandon, Amycus rarely displayed emotion. Clearly, Pansy had often assessed, he favoured quality over quantity. It was not to say he hadn't targeted any students, he most certainly had, but whereas a large number of pupils could recount a tale of meeting the other end of one of Alecto's many curses; those who were unfortunate enough to have experienced the torture at the hand of the male deputy did not speak of the experience so freely. Pansy could recount a small number of occasions where she had seen such a student, and the wide-eyed, utterly terrified expression they wore, alongside the hushed, quickened tone they spoke in as their eyes darted sporadically around their vicinity, as though afraid of the very walls surrounding them. It was not something she would forget in a hurry.
Pansy held very little fear of Alecto, that bitch is nothing more than fucking crazy, she so often thought, but Amycus; Amycus was pure evil. And given the choice, she'd take crazy any day over pure evil.
She had slowed to a halt and did her utmost to steady her breathlessness. Moments before she had sent Winky back to the Head dorm, instructing the elf to wait there and to shield herself from anyone bar she or Draco. Swallowing, Pansy rounded the last bend and approached both Carrows, and Draco, who's briefest of brief glances informed her that the usual storm in his grey iris' were thundery, and lethal.
"Why are we here?" Draco ventured, throwing Pansy a sideways glance. She could tell he was as surprised as she was to be standing in the random dungeon corridor.
"Call it a test, the Dark Lord is speaking more and more of new blood and we'd just love for the chance to tell him how well you both do tonight." Alecto said, and Pansy saw she was actually bouncing on the balls of her feet as she spoke.
"Err, I've already proved myself," Draco snapped, hastily thrusting the sleeve of his jumper upwards, revealing his Dark Mark, "and Pansy is quite obviously just as loyal to the Dark Lord as I am. Ask anyone in this fucking dump."
"Of course," Alecto said, one side of her mouth upturning as she openly looked up and down Draco's torso, her eyes slowly dragging themselves upwards, back to his face.
"It'll just be for fun then, won't it… for a pair of obviously loyal supporters of the Dark Lord."
"Whatever, just get on with it," Draco drawled, sounding bored.
"You'll see, when you go through here," Alecto continued, gesturing to a flat expanse of wall behind her and Amycus who, at her words, tapped the wall once with his wand, revealing a single, metal door, very unlike the rest of the castle's entrances.
Alecto grinned, shooting Draco a wink as she gestured towards the door, which had began to swing open slowly.
"Give them hell," She hissed, emphasising the last word.
Draco stepped through first, Pansy on his heels, not wishing to be left alone in the corridor with the deranged twins. Entering the unfamiliar room, Pansy was unsurprised to find it mostly bare.
The focal point, and clearly the object of their sadistic challenge, was situated in the very centre of the room. Pansy only just managed to stifle a horrified gasp, as tied to two enormous, vertical ropes, were two bloody, and clearly thoroughly battered figures.
She heard Seamus mutter something incomprehensible, though she barely saw him, her eyes unwilling to leave Seamus' companion. His face was almost entirely swollen, his nose looked broken; a trail of blood ran from his nostrils over his mouth; down his chin, where she realised, trying not to retch as she did, that it had pooled at his feet. A dark red puddle was clearly visible, its very size was enough to terrify Pansy all over again. It wasn't just the blood from his nose adding to the pool; she realised with a jolt, a deep gash on the side of his head was openly dripping, adding to the blood already collecting on the stone ground.
Oh fuck. Oh no, no, no, no...
Pansy started to run to him; needing to comfort him, to make sure he was okay, which, at present, she didn't know for sure and that unsurity gripped her very soul. She had a great, increasing desire to curse the living shit out of the Carrows for it. There was no doubt in her mind that she could Avada them both into dust, and then she'd leave, she and Neville and Draco would leave, they had left it too long, and this proved just that. They would find the others and they'd never look back. The world was simply too broken to fix andyet too terrible to keep themselves in.
And so she went to run, only to find she couldn't. As though glued, Pansy had no choice but to halt and one short glance at Draco told her that he was the culprit. As she opened her mouth to scream at him to release the sticking charm, which was stronger than her efforts to counter were allowing, she realised with a lurch of something deep inside he had also silenced her. She glared at him, and gasped, this time not managing to conceal it, at the sight of Neville, who seemed to be drifting somewhere between conscious and not, the cut on his head looking nastier by the second.
Draco shot her a look which very clearly said to trust him. Which she did, if only because she had no alternative. She watched as he crossed the few short steps towards her, whispering to her in a brief, rushed tone; "Do our spell on Finnegan, now."
Pansy obliged, her eyes not leaving Neville but knowing she'd met her target as Seamus began to scream, uncontrollably and horribly. The sound was loud and sinister and all around disturbing as it echoed around the room and Pansy watched in near panic as Draco wandered over behind Seamus, holding his wand to the Gryffindor's temple and whispered in his ear, a grim, set look in his eyes as he did. His expression met Pansy, and somehow she knew, even without words that her role was to keep the spell going with Finnegan, and so she put everything she had, every ounce of strength into the knowledge that Draco seemed to have a plan, as she was left with no alternative but to entrust him with her Neville, and for the second time in his life, Draco Malfoy was entirely responsible for her heart.
She saw, rather than heard, due to Seamus' continued screaming, Draco mutter "Enervate" at Neville, she saw his eyes, her favourite eyes in the whole world, open momentarily, entirely glazed. Pansy knew he knew not what was going on, and did all she could to keep the threatening tears from falling, as she watched as Draco raised his wand and cast their spell at him. If Seamus' screams had affected Pansy, it was nothing to how she felt seeing Neville's face forced to twist as though in agony, which, even though Draco's spell was entirely harmless, looking at the state of him, Pansy guessed, her heart breaking, that he was probably in agony anyway.
Draco's wand was poised at Neville's throat, just touching the skin and she saw the concentration upon Draco's face had intensified, and realised, with a rush of love and gratitude to her friend, that the deep laceration on Neville's head was closing, melding itself together, albeit roughly, but enough to stall some of the bleeding.
She watched Draco's face as the cold, clammy grip of sheer terror loosened the smallest fraction, as the toll of casting two nonverbal spells at once, both of which requiring a great deal of concentration - not to mention the magic required to keep Pansy stuck in place and silenced, were clearly taking their toll on him. Until he fell, panting, to his knees, and Pansy realised she could move at will, and speak, her gasp was very audible.
The door opened at that moment, just as Pansy was about to run towards Neville for a second time, and Alecto appeared, this time sans Amycus.
"That...sounded beautiful," the Death Eater sighed, her eyes not leaving Draco, who was getting shakily to his feet. Pansy saw his wand twitch every so slightly towards her and she felt a familiar cooling covering her face, knowing that Draco was trying to make her hurt and shock less obvious with a cooling charm. Pansy inclined her head just enough that she knew he would see, and understand.
I won't blow our cover now. I promise.
"I will be sure to inform the Dark Lord myself, she puffed her chest out like a mad hen at the last word, before continuing, "You can both let these two down, or leave them, I couldn't really care less! I've already told that idiotic excuse for a medi-witch she cannot treat them," she finished with a laugh, turning on her heel and leaving the room, turning at the last moment to look back at Draco and adding, "You know, Draco, I'd be more than happy for us to have some...private study time together, if you were interested."
Merlin...
Draco's voice was calm, though Pansy knew she alone could hear the slight wobble, "I'll bear that in mind."
Alecto nodded, and left the room, leaving the four seventh years alone and Pansy had reached Neville in a few short steps no more than a few seconds after Alecto had disappeared.
"Draco, fuck. Look at him!"
"I know, Pans, I'll sort it. Go to our rooms-"
"-if you really think I'm leaving-"
"Go to our rooms, get Winky to get all the healing stuff she can, get her to make up the couch with blankets for Finnegan, Longbottom can be levitated to your room. Now, Pans!" Draco interjected loudly, "Listen to me," before he his grey eyes locked into her green, "I'll get him there."
Pansy's hand grasped Neville's, who, as he was speaking, Draco had cut free and lowered slowly to the ground. She nodded, one last look in his steely eyes told her that he would never let her down over this, and with one last glance at an unconscious Neville, she rose, and with the sound of Seamus' questioning voice, "And now I actually owe Draco Malfoy...fu-"
"Shut up Finnegan, can you walk?" she heard Draco interrupt before she left them in the room, speeding down corridors, not knowing if she passed anyone, there was no room for anything other than getting back and calling Winky. Pansy did not stop until she was at the cow picture, panting and crying. She entered her familiar room and screamed, through her sobs.
"WINKY! HELP!"
Winky, as Pansy would realise fully at a later point that wasn't then, acted as an absolute credit to herself. Firstly busying herself obtaining a large vial of calming draft, which the small elf all but forced down Pansy's throat. Next, she somehow made sense of Pansy's broken instructions and arranged blankets and a myriad of healing items ready for the arrival of Neville and Seamus, all the while muttering darkly under her breath about bad, bad business.
It probably hadn't taken Draco long to get the two Gryffindors to their living quarters, but to Pansy it felt like a lifetime.
Seamus was walking, albeit shakily, whilst Neville was levitated, disillusioned by Draco, now entirely unconscious.
"I'm going to put him on Pans' bed," Draco informed Winky, who promptly nodded. "Sort that one," Draco jerked his head backwards at Seamus, "out, then come up, he's in bad shape."
Winky did so straight away, ushering a bemused yet concerned looking Seamus on the couch, and insisting, with not one spoken word, that he lie down and allow the elf to attend to him. "Need to see Neville, make sure-"
"No, no, no," Winky interjected Seamus' words, "you need to do no such thing, no you don't. You need to rest."
"But-"
Winky didn't need words to silence him further, instead she simply bestowed him a purposeful gaze of her trademark stubbornness that Seamus shut up at the sight of.
Pansy didn't hear the rest of the exchange, now through the opposite door and heading upstairs to her bedroom, her eyes never leaving Neville's floating form, trying to avoid the terrifying truth that he looked more lifeless than merely unconscious. She'd never truly believed there would come a time where she would be forced to remind herself that Neville wasn't, as he looked, dead.
Draco placed Neville as gently as possible upon Pansy's bedclothes and for the first time, Pansy was able to look at him, truly look, uninterrupted and as close as she wished. "Oh, baby…" she breathed. What the hell were you doing out of the living room?
"What happened?" Pansy asked, her eyes didn't leave Neville despite her question being directed at Draco. Winky had since entered the bedroom and was searching her way through various potions and salves from the kit she'd brought.
"A trap," Draco replied simply. "There was a series of explosions right outside our door. I opened it just enough to listen and heard Alecto screeching that she'd found the Gryffindors, and that Weasley was first. Well, you can imagine, Hero Complex here, along with Finnegan, rushed into the corridor. I tried to stop them but Finnegan disarmed me," Draco said the last part with such a bitterness that in any other circumstance it would have been laughable. "They hadn't got Weasley at all, of course, instead they stunned these two on the spot only round the corner from our rooms. I waited thirty seconds before approaching, followed them to the dungeons where they took them into that room." Pausing, Draco took in a breath through his nose. "I couldn't get in, they'd made it so no one could get in but anyone could hear what was happening. And because I couldn't see them, I couldn't make them stop. I knew they fucked Longbottom up more. So I waited until they did, made up some bullshit story about hearing the screaming. They told me to send Winky to fetch you."
"You could have stopped it," Pansy retorted, a sudden flash of resentment roaring within her. "Once they came out, you could have instructed them to let them down and forget it."
"I could have, yes, but this way the Dark Lord is informed of our show of loyalty."
"DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT LOYALTY, DRACO?! HE'S ALMOST DEAD!"
Draco's voice, when he spoke, was steady. "He's not dead, and he's not going to die."
Winky had seemingly done all she could do, and she insisted on fetching Draco a pick-me-up. As she left the bedroom, Pansy turned, wrenching her eyes from the unbelievable calmness that emanated from Neville, to face Draco for the first time.
"I know you don't understand, but-"
"Can you just," Pansy desperately tried to keep her voice stable, "go. Go with Winky. Make sure Finnegan is okay."
"Pans-"
"I don't hate you," she said truthfully. "I'm not angry, I just…" Pansy often struggled with the same approach as her ex-boyfriend tended to have in most aspects of her life, not often sharing his calculated and meticulous mind. Where Pansy was ruled by the roar of emotions, Draco was governed by strategic and well thought out logic. It was what separated them the most, and it was at its most clear, then of all times. "Please," she whispered. "I need to be alone with him."
"Alright, I'll be downstairs if you need anything."
She barely heard him leave, hearing the click of the door shutting vaguely, as though it had happened underwater, or somewhere far away. Sitting down, both scared and terrified of not waking Neville in equal measure. Slowly, so as to cause as little upset as she could, she lay herself downwards, tears openly flowing once more, and laid her head as carefully as she was able, on his chest.
I love you.
I love you so much.
How long she stayed, she did not know. She was somehow empty and full of pain all at once, and at first she barely heard it: the tapping.
Glancing upwards out of something that barely resembled curiosity, Pansy noticed, of all things, an owl, waiting, and by the looks of it, impatiently, at her bedroom window.
She didn't have it within herself to declare the occurrence strange. Instead, she reached back for her wand, and drew the window upwards, allowing the owl to fly in and flutter to her, its leg outstretched.
Caring very little, only the tiny chance that whatever the parchment contained was some information from Daphne, made her rise from Neville, and peel the page from the owl, who gave her a look that Pansy didn't wish to interoperate.
Please be okay, her thoughts drifted momentarily from Neville, to Daphne. Please be okay.
Unfurling the parchment, Pansy began to read.
Pansy felt the very space that held her heart suddenly grow cold as she read the words presented to her. If she had thought that she'd felt the most terror she could feel at the sight of Neville tied up and bloody, she had been wrong.
She had been very, very wrong.