Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to The Vampire Diaries, TV show or books. However I decided to have a little play around with the characters (I would definitely like to play with Damon).
After returning home to change into the peach dress she'd selected for the memorial, Elena was now in the church with Matt laying out order of service pamphlets onto the rows of benches. Elena's mind however, was elsewhere. She had two problems, she was feeling weak from not feeding and she was still reeling from her conversation with Damon. She didn't like that she was keeping something this important from Stefan, she just hoped he'd understand if he ever found out. Elena was in a little world of her own until she saw Matt walk up to her.
"How are you feeling? A little strung out?" he asked as he handed her more pamphlets.
"I'm fine." Elena replied. "It's just my emotions are all over the place. Everything's heightened. I mean..." Elena hesitated a moment as she opened up one of the pamphlets. "Just the sight of all the names of the dead makes me want to cry for a week."
"You didn't have to volunteer." Matt offered sympathetically.
"People died." she insisted. "People we've known our whole lives, so yeah, I did." Elena glanced over at the front of the church and noticed a young girl with long black hair sitting on one of the pews, her head down. "Is that?..."
"April Young. Yeah." Matt finished her question.
"Oh, wow." was all Elena could say before she left Matt and walked over to April, sitting down next to her. "Hey there." she said.
"Hey. Long time, no see. Not since..." April raised her blue eyes to meet Elena's but was unable to finish her sentence.
"My parent's funeral." Elena took the awkwardness away from the younger girl.
"Yeah." April said as Elena hugged her.
"Are you gonna survive this?" Elena asked, her voice full of concern.
"They want me to speak." April said sadly. "I guess all the kids who lost somebody can. What am I supposed to say?" She was practically on the verge of tears with what appeared to be guilt more than grief. "I'm sorry my dad didn't fix the gas line? But, if I don't say anything then...I mean, what if nobody does? My dad and I didn't always get along or anything but, everybody still deserves to have nice things said about them at their own funeral, you know? I mean, for my mom's funeral, everybody said these really nice things."
"You say what you want to say or you don't say anything at all." Elena tried to calm April down. "And don't worry about your dad, everyone in this town loved him."
"Yeah." April began to choke up. "Until two days ago."
"Even still..." Elena went to take her hand to comfort her, but she noticed the vein in April's wrist, her delicious blood pulsating, the temptation was strong. Elena felt the hunger rise up inside of her as she wanted to rip into April's wrist and take the blood from her body, knowing it would get rid of all of the pain she was suffering right now. However somewhere in the back of her mind she managed to remind herself that this was April Young and draining her in the middle of a church wouldn't be considered acceptable behavior. So instead of feeding, she realized that she needed to get away from April immediately so she began to get up.
"I'm sorry, I...I have to go." Elena made her excuses and rushed off into the bathroom to get away from everyone.
Although she didn't need to breathe, Elena started to hyperventilate in panic. She had no idea how to get through the service without hurting anyone. In that moment, Elena did the only thing she knew she could do, call Damon. After three rings he picked up his phone.
"Elena? You Okay?" he asked.
Elena turned the taps on so nobody could hear her phone conversation. "No I'm not Damon. I nearly attacked April Young. I saw the vein in her wrist pulsating..." her voice began to get ragged. "All I wanted to do was rip into it and feed."
"So what did you do?" Damon asked.
"I ran away to the bathroom and called you." Elena cried.
"Well that's a good start." Damon told her.
"How?" Elena asked.
"You were able to walk away even when you were starving." he offered.
"How am I supposed to get through this?" Elena demanded in a whisper.
"I'll bring something to take the edge off it during the memorial, then we'll get someone to help by offering a donation." Damon assured her. "It's for a good cause."
"You're bringing a blood bag?" she asked.
"No!" Damon told her. "That could make things worse. Just don't worry, I'm on my way. Where are you?" Damon asked.
"I'm in the basement bathroom." Elena replied when suddenly the knob on the door started rattling and turning. Elena looked at it. "Is that you at the door?" she asked.
"Not yet." Damon replied. Elena heard a knock on the door.
"Sorry, there's someone in here!" Elena called out to the person on the other side of the door. "Damon, hurry." she whispered down the phone in a panicked voice as she turned off the water. Suddenly she heard footsteps she recognized to be Damon.
"You again. Stalking small town funerals?" Elena sighed a sigh of relief upon hearing Damon's voice from the other side of the door. Mindful that there was another person on the other side, she opened the bathroom door to see Damon.
"Oh, Damon, thank God." she said before she poked her head out the door to apologize to the man who looked like he'd walked out of an action movie, waiting for the bathroom. "Sorry, I – I um I won't be a moment." Elena apologized before turning her attention to Damon, who nodded at her signaling he'd stand guard whilst he handed her a small package She closed the door and tuned out the conversation going off on the other side of the door and opened the package Damon had for her which turned out to be a hip flask of whiskey.
"Everything okay in there?" Damon called out to her a couple of minutes later.
"Yeah, just a minute!" Elena called back as she took a few gulps of the disgusting liquid, although it did take the edge off the cravings and put the flask in her bag. "I'm so sorry that took so long. I thought I was about to have an asthma attack" Elena apologized to the strangely dressed man.
"I brought her inhaler." Damon grinned.
"No problem." the man replied smiling.
"Well, enjoy your stay." Damon said to the stranger. "We love visitors and the scenery is to die for." He gasped and put his hand over his mouth, causing Elena to roll her eyes at him. "Funeral pun. Too soon. Sorry." he joked before they left. Once they got outside the church, they walked across the grounds to find a sheltered spot.
"Did you bring a blood bag?" Elena asked as she spotted a tree that looked like a good place to hide.
"Would you mind saying that a little louder?" Damon whispered back, looking around to check they were alone before they went behind the tree. "No." he said. "We need someone to willingly tap a vein for you to feed from until we get you under control and on a more community friendly diet."
"Will the whiskey help?" Elena asked.
"It'll help you stay in control as long as there's no fresh blood around, but we're in a church not a kitchen. It dulls the senses enough to not concentrate on the heartbeats of the humans around you." he explained. "It just doesn't dull your sense of smell, but unless there's fresh blood, you shouldn't need to worry about that." he reassured her.
"Okay." she said sounding a little more optimistic at the thought of getting through the service.
"Does Little Gilbert still have his magic little ring?" he asked. "It could be useful."
"No, no, I can't. I can't feed from Jeremy" Elena started to panic as she realized what Damon was about to suggest.
"I'm not saying it has to be Jeremy." Damon assured her. "However he might offer. He loves you and if he understands the situation properly he'll do anything to help. You won't be able to kill him as he's wearing his ring. If not Jeremy, what about the quarterback. He seems desperate to make amends for your new life."
Elena's face fell. "I can't ask Matt." she said shocked.
"You need to drink from the vein and you're going to have to ask someone who isn't going to blab to my baby brother, and I suspect those two will be your best options." he explained.
"No. No, I don't – I can't risk killing anyone, Damon." The thought of drinking from another person was appealing, although killing someone scared her. "Maybe I'm better off dead." she complained. At this Damon grabbed her by the shoulders.
"Don't you think like that. Elena, you'll be fine. Okay? Plus if you did accidentally kill them, they'd be wearing the Gilbert ring. And with Esther out of the picture, it shouldn't make them go crazy if they die a couple of times in the process of helping you." He reassured her as he gently caressed her face, which she found strangely comforting. Suddenly she heard the church bells ring, which snapped her back to reality and the reason why she was at the church.
"I have to get back inside." Elena told him abruptly before hurrying back inside the church, leaving Damon standing alone at the tree.
Elena walked quietly into the main room of the church and looked around for Matt and Jeremy, once she located them she sat next to them in the pew. She knew she looked pale and she felt sick and weak. Matt and Jeremy took one look at her and realized something was wrong, probably judging from her appearance.
"You okay?" Matt asked, his voice full of concern. Elena could only nod in response, she was almost afraid to breathe in case she caught a sniff of the scent of his or Jeremy's blood.
"Hey, April was looking for you." Jeremy told her quietly. "She wanted help with her speech."
"Where is she?" Elena asked, her voice in a whisper as she looked around trying to spot the telltale black hair of April's.
"I don't know." Jeremy whispered back.
As Elena took in a breath, she was suddenly awash with the familiar scent of Stefan, signalling his arrival. Listening out for his footsteps, she heard him stop, curious as to why he had stopped before he reached her, she listened into the conversation he was having.
"What are you doing here, Tyler?" he whispered.
"Being sensitive to the community's loss." Tyler whispered back, a hint of sarcasm lay in his voice.
"With a hunter out to get you?" Stefan asked back, still whispering. This was news to Elena. Nobody had mentioned a hunter to her, then images flashed through her mind of the man waiting outside of the bathroom earlier. He was certainly dressed for the role. She regretted not listening into his and Damon's conversation whilst she'd been drinking the whiskey. She decided to continue listening into the conversation Stefan was having, hopefully it would take her mind from the desperate urges she had to rip everyone's throats out right now.
"I'm not letting a hunter stop me from where I'm supposed to be." Tyler continued.
"Also, if he shows his face, I'm gonna kick his ass." Caroline added, causing Elena to smile as she heard Stefan walk away and sit down, however, she was still puzzled as to why he'd not sat next to her when she really needed him, before she realized that he hadn't got a clue about her blood issues as she hadn't told him. Moments later Mayor Lockwood took to the podium, as she prepared to start the memorial.
"Before we begin the Mass, we'd like to open the floor to anyone who would like to share a memory about our late friends on the Town Council." Mayor Lockwood announced. "I know that April Young wanted to say a few words about her dad. April? April, are you still here, honey?" she looked around, searching for April, who was still strangely missing.
After a few awkward moments of silence Mayor Lockwood asked "Is there anyone else who would like to share a recollection or a memory about Pastor Young?" when nobody got up Elena decided that she'd speak on behalf of April so she stood up. "Come on up, Elena." Mayor Lockwood offered. As Elena pushed past Jeremy to leave the pew. As she did so another familiar scent hit her, it was Damon entering the church.
"Don't know why that always makes me smile." Elena heard Damon mutter to himself as she walked up to Mayor Lockwood. When she finally reached the podium, she noticed that Damon had sat down next to Stefan and was watching her.
"She doesn't look so good." She heard him say.
"Maybe you should have told me she was rejecting all food sources." Stefan whispered back.
"Jealousy's beneath you, brother." Damon retorted.
"Oh, bite me." Stefan snapped in a whisper. Suspecting that Damon must have told Stefan about her blood issues, she decided to stop listening to them bicker and concentrate on saying something on behalf of April, which was easier said than done considering she was in a room full of human heartbeats and her almost desperate need for blood. It was starting to distract her train of thought.
"I uh – when I talked to April earlier she was kind of nervous about coming up to speak. And now that I'm up here, I'm kind of nervous too." Elena was trying to find something to say, but every second that passed was making it harder. She couldn't breathe, all she could think about was blood. She was starting to feel very faint, but she knew she needed to focus. Her true motivation was to get away from Jeremy and Matt as she was scared that without Stefan or Damon, she'd lose control and rip one of their throats out. "The worst day of loving someone is the day that you lose them." she managed to say but then the smell hit her and Elena stopped. She could smell the scent and hear fresh human blood dripping from somewhere. Elena looked around to see if it was her imagination, but from the looks on their faces, Stefan, Tyler, Damon, and Caroline could all smell it too.
"Do you smell that?" Elena heard Caroline confirmed her suspicions.
"Blood." Tyler whispered back. The word alone caused Elena to breathe even more heavily.
"Nobody move." Damon told Caroline, Tyler, Elena, and Stefan via vampire hearing. "Don't turn around, it's a trap."
"I um..." Elena tried to breathe in and out, but she could feel the tickling sensation of the veins started crawling towards her eyes. The smell of blood was too much, but she knew she couldn't falter in front of the hunter as he'd surely try and kill her. Elena noticed Stefan walked up to the podium, she guessed he realized that she was having problems, he wrapped his arm around her to hide the veins and they both acted as if she was overcome by grief instead of the hunger.
"It's okay, it's okay. I got you, I got you." Stefan whispered as he led Elena off the stage and back into the row next to Matt.
The priest replaced Elena on the podium before he addressed the congregation. "Please turn to page forty two in your hymn book. Let us join together in a song." he said, prompting everyone in the room to stand up and begins to sing.
"The blood. Stefan, the blood, I can smell it." Elena whispered to Stefan in panic. "There's so much."
"It's alright; just remember what we talked about. Focus, push back, come on you can do this." Stefan tried to soothe her.
"What's wrong with her?" Matt asked Stefan.
"She's hungry. She hasn't fed." Stefan told him.
"So, get her out of here." Matt told Stefan quietly.
"I can't. There's somebody watching us." Stefan explained.
"I'm gonna go rip his head off now." Damon piped up from a few rows back in a voice that could only be heard by his fellow vampires.
"You do that, Damon, and you risk exposing all of us." Stefan argued back quietly.
"Well, I think the risk will be slightly diminished when I...you know, rip his head off." Sarcasm was creeping into Damon's voice.
"Stefan, I'm losing it." Elena pleaded.
"You have ten seconds before I go old fashioned on the new guy." Damon offered.
"Don't do it, Damon. Please." Stefan begged.
"Three, two, one. Bye." Damon warned them.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait." Matt interjected, realizing the seriousness of the situation. "Elena, feed from me." he continued. "It's okay, everyone will think you're upset. Just feed from me." Elena looked up at Stefan for his approval. Stefan looked at Matt and then Elena before letting Matt take Elena in his arms. "It's okay. You'll be okay." Matt said soothingly as Elena moved Matt's collar. She felt the blood rushing to the veins around her eyes and her fangs pop out as she saw the pulse point on his neck. She pierced the flesh to allow the delicious blood to flow into her mouth and she began to drink from his neck whilst looking like she was crying on Matt's shoulder. Finally the starvation receded enough for her to stop drinking, although she was nowhere near full but she felt her face go back to normal.
"Thank you." Elena whispered to Matt as she wiped the blood from her mouth whilst Matt hid the wound with the collar of his jacket. However it hadn't diminished the smell of blood. Instead it had only heightened her sense of smell. "The blood. I can still smell it. It's got to be April. We have to help her." Elena said as she tried to leave, but Stefan stopped her.
"Elena, we can't risk it." Stefan whispered.
"Then I'm gonna do it!" Elena continued to try to push past Stefan, but stopped when she realized Tyler was on the podium before he started started speaking.
"Excuse me. I just wanted to say a few words about Pastor Young." Tyler said through the microphone.
"What do we do?" Elena whispered as everyone sat back down to allow Tyler to speak.
"Back in first grade, I was a brat who couldn't be bothered with team sports." Tyler told the congregation. "Didn't care much about anything that didn't affect me. But he was the one who made me understand how important it is to be part of a team, a community. Of giving yourself up for the sake of..." Tyler was stopped in his tracks as the sound of a gun shot rang out causing Tyler to spin and fall to the floor.
Pandemonium ensued inside the church, everybody started to scream as they ducked into the aisles, and began rushing out of the church doors. Elena noticed Damon make his way out with the crowd and Caroline and Mayor Lockwood rushing towards Tyler. Elena headed straight to the stage to join them.
"Oh my God." Mayor Lockwood cried bringing her hands to her face in panic. Calmly Caroline got down next to Tyler and ripped the stake bullet out of his chest. At that moment Stefan arrived onto the stage to check on Tyler as he stood next to Elena. Tyler was clearly fine as Caroline's actions only prompted Tyler to start coughing.
"I'm gonna kill that bastard." Tyler hissed angrily confirming he was indeed absolutely fine.
"Damon's way ahead of you. Stay here, I have to help him." Stefan started to leave, but Elena grabbed his hand.
"What about April?" Elena asked.
"I got it. Go." Caroline told Stefan allowing him to leave.
"I have to call an ambulance." Mayor Lockwood said in a panicked voice.
"No, he's fine." Caroline said as Elena started to walk away.
"The whole town just watched you get shot. I'm calling an ambulance." Elena heard Mayor Lockwood insist.
Elena was now long gone. Her target was to find April, although she wasn't sure whether it was to save her or feed on her as she knew the smell was coming from her and the location of the blood was the balcony. Once she arrived there she saw April's body barely alive gagged up covered in the delicious scent of blood.
"Elena." Elena heard Caroline's voice behind her as she approached the bleeding girl.
"April!" She called out, but as she got closer to the blood, the veins started to pulse around her eyes and she could feel her fangs popping out. Before she knew it she was rushing towards April to feed off her, however Caroline managed to grab hold of Elena before she got to April and pull her back.
"She's not dead, but if you feed on her you will kill her!" Caroline told her but Elena ignored her.
"Let go of me!" Elena cried back as she tried to fight Caroline off to get to April's blood.
"Look at her! Look at her, Elena! It's April. April Young." Caroline said calmly, trying to get Elena to see the person above the food. "She's not a warm body for you to feed on. She's your friend." Caroline's words did the trick as Elena concentrated on her friend's words, slowly starting to feel her fangs retract and the veins rescind. Once Caroline was happy Elena wasn't going to attack April she released her. "She's an orphan. Just like you." Caroline bent down next to April's barely alive body. "She's scared. Just like you were." Caroline continued as she bit her wrist and fed April her blood. Suddenly April gasped as she woke up and looked at both Elena and Caroline in fear.
"Please, don't hurt me. Please." April begged as she began to cry, her eyes flickering between Caroline and Elena.
"No one's gonna hurt you. No one's gonna hurt you." Caroline reassured April in a soothing voice as she stood up and looked at Elena. "She needs you. You can make her forget all of this."
"Why did he do this?" April asked.
"No, I – I can't, Caroline. You have to do it." Elena told Caroline in a panicked voice. She'd never compelled anyone before, she wasn't sure if she was strong enough yet as she'd only had a small amount of human blood.
"No. The only way you're going to learn is if you do it yourself." Caroline insisted as if she were a school teacher.
"No, I can't." Elena resisted.
"Yes, you can." Caroline insisted, her voice brimming with confidence. "You just need to believe what you're telling her. Okay?" Elena knew that arguing with Caroline when she had her mind set on something, was a pointless exercise. Having no choice, she decided to give it a try. She knelt down next to April and gently touched her shoulder to try and calm her down as she was still panicking all the while fighting back the urge to sink her teeth into her friend.
"April, listen to me." Elena said softly and reassuringly, causing April to look at Elena. "Everything's gonna be okay. You're gonna get through this. Just like I got through it." Elena could feel the power coming out of her as she began to compel April. "I'm going to help you. I promise." she told her.
"I'm gonna be okay. You're gonna help me." April said blankly. Realizing that it was working, Elena looked up at Caroline with a smile, which her friend returned with encouraging enthusiasm.
"You watched the funeral from up here so that you could grieve alone. It was a beautiful service. People said really nice things." Elena told her causing April to smile. After they'd finished, Elena helped April up and the three of them made their way out of the church as Elena headed towards Stefan so that they could go home.
As Stefan and Elena finally were making their way silently back to the boarding house, Elena could feel the anger radiating from Stefan, directed towards her. She wasn't sure how much Damon had told Stefan about her not feeding, she hoped he'd kept their intentions to a bare minimum and not told Stefan what she'd planned to do with Damon. Once they got there, they both headed straight for the parlor, Elena sat down whilst Stefan just walked over to the wet bar. To confirm just how angry Stefan was, he poured Elena a drink and handed it to her before pouring one for himself, as if preparing himself for the argument they were about to have. Elena took one sniff of the alcohol and groaned in disgust.
"It helps with the cravings." Stefan told her although she already knew from experience. Elena took a drink and coughed, confirming how disgusting the drink really was. Maybe she'd find an alternative to take the edge off instead, tequila would be an option. Elena noted Stefan taking a large drink from his glass as well, Stefan drinking alcohol was never a good sign.
"You're mad." Elena finally asked nervously.
"Yeah, I'm mad. You lied to me." he shouted back.
"I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you." Elena replied sheepishly, although the irony of the situation wasn't lost on Elena, considering how many times Stefan had lied to her throughout their relationship.
"Come on, Elena, you lied to me." Stefan insisted.
"You were just so happy that things were going well and – and..." Elena stumbled, not knowing what to say.
"You think I'm happy?" Stefan asked angrily.
"I just didn't want to ruin it for you." Elena protested.
"You're in hell which means that I'm in hell. Then you go to Damon for help." Stefan shouted, prompting Elena to start to cry.
"Yeah, because I thought that he would understand." Elena decided it was time to argue back.
"You think I don't?" Stefan asked.
"Stefan, please." Elena begged.
"You asked him to teach you how to control the blood lust knowing that I can't. I know that may not mean much to you, but it means a lot to me. And I know it's certainly important to Damon." Elena breathed an internal sigh of relief as those words left Stefan's lips.
"I didn't want to hurt you. I'm – I'm sorry – I – look I'm really, really sorry." tears suddenly pricked through her eyes. "Why am I crying?" Elena tried to deflect as she wiped the tears away. "I'm so sick of crying!" She stood up and started to pace, the tears were a mix of being upset because of Stefan's reaction, frustration over her feeding issue and deep down she knew she needed Damon and she couldn't turn to him right now.
"Your emotions are a bit heightened right now." Stefan's voice was calmer as he'd realized Elena was getting worked up.
"I feel like I've been crying since the day that my parents died. My life it's – it's like a never ending funeral. We keep burying people, Stefan. You want to know what's heightened? This grief, I can't stop feeling everyone's grief." And it was true, the memorial today had just been the icing on the cake. Over the past eighteen months she'd lost almost her entire family except Jeremy. Stefan walked over to her as she continued with her rant. "All the hurt, I feel like it's trying to explode out of me."
Stefan took Elena's hands. "Hey, come on. Come with me." he said.
"Where?" Elena asked, her face full of confusion.
"There's something we need to do. Come on." he said as they walked out of the house and got into Stefan's car. Before he set off, he sent a few texts out and drove the car to the school.
As they arrived, Elena noted that Caroline, Matt and Jeremy were already sat at the picnic tables. Stefan and Elena got out of the car as both Bonnie and Damon's cars pulled up. Each one getting out and heading towards them.
"What are we doing here?" Elena heard Damon ask Bonnie.
"I don't know. Ask Stefan." Bonnie replied as they joined the rest of the group.
"Stefan, what are we doing?" Damon asked Stefan who had some paper lanterns in his hand.
"We're finishing the memorial we didn't get to have earlier." Stefan said as he handed Elena a lantern. "We need to start healing, Damon. We've all lost so much, especially recently. I think we're numb to it. We push it away, we make a joke out of it, ignore how we feel. We've never just let ourselves grieve."
"So, you're lighting lanterns?" Damon asked with disdain.
"Yeah. Yeah, we need to do this." Stefan replied.
"What we need to do is find out who this hunter is and what he knows about the death of the Council." Damon argued back. "We have more important things to be doing right now than this."
"Not tonight, we don't." Stefan told him causing Damon to scoff and roll his eyes. Stefan took the lighter and lantern in his hand before he made his prepared speech. "This is for my uncle Zach and my friend Lexi and for Alaric." Stefan said as he lit the lantern before he handed the lighter to Matt who like the others, had also picked up a lantern ready to light.
"This is for Vicki." Matt said as he lit his lantern and passed the lighter to Caroline.
"This is for my dad. And Tyler's." Caroline lit her lantern and passed the lighter on to Jeremy.
"This is for our parents." Jeremy said as he looked at Elena. "For Vicki." he turned his attention to Matt. "Anna. Jenna. And Alaric." He lit his lantern and looked up at Damon and tried to hand him the lighter but Damon refused.
"No way. I'm not doing that." Damon told them bas he turned around and left, which didn't surprise Elena as she noted that many of the deaths they were remembering were either at the hands of Damon or a consequence of his actions. She knew that not only was it making him feel guilty, but in his mind it would make him a hypocrite. Elena began to wonder if Stefan knew his brother at all. Elena was jolted from her thoughts when Jeremy gave the lighter to Bonnie. She took a lantern out of the box, got up and stood next to Caroline.
"This is for my Grams." Bonnie said as Stefan looked at Elena. She got up and stood next to him, taking the lighter from Bonnie, she lit her lantern.
"This um – is for my mom, my dad, Jenna, everyone that you've all lost, everyone that this town has lost." Elena said. "And for me, I guess." she added as she stepped forward and released her lantern. Then one at a time, they all began to release their lanterns, watching them as they float off into the night sky.