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Part Three | Burn with Me
45. Moo
At the time, the idea of solely using the time at the cottage - however long that may be, to prepare themselves, felt enough. And they did. Every one of their duelling and spellwork was exemplary.
It wasn't enough however, not now.
Neville, after having apparently done so with a large majority of Hogwarts during the first half of the year, had taken on the role of something of a mentor to them, and after they had exhausted the use of the inside of the cottage one too many times, they had extended their practise area, making use of the cottage's garden and a number of protective wards and Muggle repelling charms.
Pansy, who was supposed to be focussing entirely on blocking Theo's oncoming barrage of attacks, but was instead trying to figure out how exactly she'd explain to a past version of herself that she now couldn't imaging a sexier sight than Neville Longbottom wearing a navy blue cardigan, felt it too, the complete and utter - even with the garden, cabin fever.
It had been, in fact, now over two months and was well into March, since the sit down at the dining table, and with the exception of a few random visits from Narcissa, not much had occurred. The following week, however, would see Draco depart the cottage in an effort to return to Hogsmeade and catch the Hogwarts Express, as the Easter holidays would start, and Draco would most certainly be expected at Malfoy Manor.
After Narcissa's visit, it had been decided that Draco, who could hopefully liaise with Ginny, was to return to Hogwarts after the Easter holidays, alone. Narcissa, having mentioned that Voldemort was only getting, if possible, more irate, and with what was obviously a heavy heart, she had expressed she didn't believe the Wizarding World had long to wait until it would know its fate.
The fate in question of course rested in either Voldemort or three teenagers. The truth of which was a frightening one.
Having had enough of not just her match against Theo, but a number of things, Pansy casually threw up red sparks - the agreed signal for halting any duelling, and came out from behind the bench she had been knelt behind. Hungry and aching from crouching in the same position for the better part of an hour, Pansy felt decidedly grumpy as she began to walk towards the back door.
Theo, however, had other ideas, and the pain from his stinging hex was enough for her to reel around, suddenly energised, and hit Theo square in the chest with her own hex.
Theo, who in Pansy's opinion, acted incredibly dramatically, fell to his knees clutching his chest. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!" he roared.
His retort was out of character, and even in her less than pleasant mood, Pansy knew their claustrophobic living situation was playing its own role in his reaction.
"Err, you hit me first, after I shot up the sparks, remember?"
"GENTLY!"
Pansy shrugged, knowing it would annoy him more.
"YOU FULL ON HEXED ME IN THE CHEST PANSY!"
She purposefully kept her voice level, though the desire to shout back at Theo was rising. "You're alive, aren't you?"
"THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT AND YOU KNOW IT!"
Oh, shut up Theo!
Taking a breath, Pansy was deciding on which direction her response would take, when Theo made the decision for her.
"Fucking bitch," he muttered not quite quiet enough for her to miss it.
It took only a second for Pansy's wand to rise, pointing, once again, at Theo's chest. "FUCK YOU, YOU ARSEHOLE!"
Although she hadn't realised, being so intent on staring daggers into Theo, Neville had run out of the back door and was suddenly occupying the space that seperated Pansy and Theo.
"Woah!" Nevilled called, throwing both hands in the air, one palm pointed at Pansy, and the other at Theo.
Millicent appeared just behind Neville, but Pansy's eyes didn't leave Theo's. His iris' were a similar green to her own, and they had always joked about the fact their eyes matched. Swallowing, Pansy watched Theo, waiting for him his response to her insult.
"Oh yeah," he narrowed his eyes, "I'm the arsehole, really Pansy?"
"What is going on?!" Neville demanded.
"THEO BEING A PRICK IS WHAT IS GOING ON!"
Absolutely do not apologise for that later Pansy
"YOU HIT ME IN THE CHEST YOU CRAZY BITCH!"
"AFTER YOU HIT ME IN THE ARM!"
"AS A JOKE!"
Like fuck that was a joke you giant balloon
Neville turned his face to look at both Pansy and Theo in turn, and Pansy couldn't help but smirk. He's my boyfriend arsehole, he's going to be on my side. Neville's next words, however, proved to be exactly the opposite.
"You hit him in the chest?"
Fucking excuse me?
She was out of order, Pansy knew that, and so did Theo, Neville and Millicent. But in her mind that was neither here nor there. Especially since Theo was now pulling off a smirk Draco would have been proud of.
"He hit me after I sent up sparks!"
"You shouldn't have done that, Theo." Millicent's words broke the silence from what felt like nowhere.
The smirk vanished from Theo's face and settled, instead, on Pansy's.
"Thanks, Mills."
Theo rounded on his girlfriend. "You WHAT?!"
"Well, it's not hard to understand that when someone insinuates they're done, they're done, is it?"
Well this is bigger than Theo and I's fight
"Really? Fucking REALLY?! You're doing this here? Now?"
"I'm not doing anything," Millicent retorted. I mean you kind of are to be fair, Pansy thought, now rather amused. "But she put up the sparks, that means stop, you can't blame her for being mad you didn't stick to that. We were all in agreement over what the sparks meant."
The words, they all knew - even without context, had very little to do with the sparks. Or so Pansy thought they all knew, until Neville - entirely out of place in Pansy's opinion, argued, "That doesn't mean we can just go hexing each other in the chest, that can be dangerous! Pansy," he turned to face her, his voice steady, "you can't do that!"
Pansy didn't reply, instead she simply glared at Neville before turning and striding towards the house. Just behind her, she heard what she assumed was Millicent's footsteps.
"Mills?" Pansy asked, as she took one, still glaring, glance back towards Neville, caring not that she was entirely in the wrong, and very little that she despised the fact that him standing up against her had, more than anything else, turned her on. She didn't need to let him know that, Pansy reasoned. Not yet, anyway.
"Yeah?"
"Can we get drunk?"
"Please!"
They located a bemused looking Daphne, and raided the drinks cupboard before retreating to Millicent and Theo's room. Their window, Pansy noticed, looked out over the front of the cottage and a few Muggles could be seen going about their daily business. Even for Scotland they were wrapped up, layers of thick boots and thicker coats shielded them as much as possible from the ever present chill in the air. The sky above was still stuck, dark and wintery, with no sign of spring whatsoever.
"They look miserable," Daphne noted beside Pansy.
"They're not the only ones," Pansy muttered darkly, turning back around and reaching for the bottle Millicent was holding out. Glasses, they had decided, were for the weak.
Daphne perched herself on the deep window sill. "Okay, what's going on?"
Relaying the occurrence between her and Theo, and then between Millicent and Theo, Pansy couldn't quite bring herself to meet Daphne's eyes.
"And," Daphne's words were slow, as though chosen carefully, "you think you were in the right, with Theo and-"
"Of course I don't!" Pansy snapped. "But I'm hardly going to tell them that, am I?"
Millicent snorted. "I think you were in the right."
Daphne looked momentarily horrified. "You don't mean that, Mills."
"You didn't see the way she was outside," Pansy replied darkly. "I think she does."
It took Millicent a few long moments and several gulps of wine before she spoke. "I'm sick of him."
Her words were met with silence.
"Well alright," Millicent reasoned, "I'm not sick of him...entirely. I'm sick of spending every waking moment with him in this stupid place."
Nodding, Pansy readied herself to agree entirely, but it was Daphne who spoke first. "Oh, Merlin, I know exactly what you mean!"
Millicent looked relieved. "You feel it too?"
"Babe, we've essentially been living together since October, that's when we started sleeping in the same bed every night. Of course I feel it too. And," it seemed Daphne had needed the outlet, "he doesn't talk. I mean, he talks of course, but never about very much and for very long. I'm a talker!"
"Oh, we know," Millicent said much to Pansy's amusement.
"I miss night time talks," Daphne finished sadly "I know we all talk a lot, in the living room and stuff, but I miss the nights where you talk all night, like the three of us used to have."
"I'll swap you," Millicent replied, "Theo doesn't shut up."
"I'm so jealous!"
"Don't be - it's awful, I'd give anything for Blaise's brooding. If I don't want to talk, there's something wrong, if I don't want to have sex, there's something wrong. If I don't want to cuddle, there's something wrong. Sometimes I just don't want to!"
What happened in the garden suddenly made a lot more sense.
"It's not like you to stay quiet Pans," Millicent said, "please tell me Neville isn't as perfect as he seems?"
Pansy sighed. In many ways, he was. But… "Maybe that is sort of the problem. He's too perfect. He's too fucking good!"
"There it is," Millicent replied happily, "let it out babe!"
"Do you know," Pansy began, "he sees the good in just about everyone...it's exhausting, and he's everyone's best friend. Every time Draco is a dick to him, Neville makes excuses for him. Every time I'm a bitch, he makes excuses for me. Don't make excuses for me! Let me be an unapologetic cow occasionally!"
It was such a non-problem, Pansy knew, as were the others, but it felt good to share them.
"That is exactly it!" Millicent cried, suddenly excited. "I want to be an unapologetic cow too!"
Daphne cleared her throat and held her bottle out in front of her in a toast. "Ladies," she spoke with such a serious tone it was hard for Pansy to not burst out laughing. "Moo!"
"MOO!" Pansy and Millicent cried in unison.
The afternoon continued into the evening, and the girls were accompanied, not just with each other, but with tears and alcohol.
"It's okay, they'll be okay, Daph. Your mum is smart as hell."
"You and I both know there's no guarantee that's enough," Daphne was wailing by this point. "I shouldn't have left her, any of them. What if Astoria-Pans what if I never see my little sister again?"
"You will see her again," Millicent said, though the worried glance she shared with Pansy showed neither knew whether they could believe it.
Daphne's reply was a further, wordless wail against Pansy's shoulder.
Perhaps she ought to have offered further encouraging words, and she had fully intended to do so, until she opened her mouth. The tears that began to fall beat her sob by only a second. Looking over at Millicent, Pansy noticed in both surprise and not that now all three of them were crying.
"We're not meant for this," Millicent gasped. "We're only fucking seventeen and we're hiding from a madman who wants to either kill us, or us to kill for him, in the middle of a war!"
Their now empty bottles of drink were scattered in various points throughout the room and they themselves were all gathered together atop Millicent and Theo's bed.
"I love you both," Daphne began, her voice strained from crying, "so, so much." At her own words, Daphne threw her free arm upwards, towards Millicent, and beckoned for her to join she and Pansy's hug, and before long the three, highly intoxicated but justifiably vulnerable friends were huddled together.
Without warning, and with a soft flump, the trio lopped over sideways, and landed, still hugging, on the duvet. Usually, they would have laughed such an occurrence off.
Instead, they held each other.
"Oh my God, why though?! We haven't done anything, to anyone!"
Pansy nodded, glancing between both Daphne and Millicent. They had situated themselves, as was their custom now, on Daphne's bed, a tradition that had started only three weeks prior after their very first week as Slytherin students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. "The Gryffindors are the worst!"
"The Hufflepuffs are okay," Daphne said fairly, though Pansy was barely listening.
"I will never like a Gryffindor!"
Millicent wrinkled her nose. "Imagine if a Gryffindor asks you to be his boyfriend," she said with a soft laugh.
"Ugh! I'd hex him!"
"At least we have each other," Daphne offered. "Best friends."
"Forever," Pansy and Millicent stated, as one.
Daphne's voice was barely more than a whisper. "Guys?"
"Yeah?"
"Best friends?"
Pansy and Millicent answered in unison. "Forever."