Your Story

"We find that… those who have experiences child sexual abuse, physical abuse, bullying at such a difficult young age... are more likely to experience psychosis in their adult life." Jane nodded, "That can mean a range of things from manic episodes to hallucination, hearing things that aren't there. It's how some people's brains deal with trauma." She nodded, "And in your case, having to face your past again so… so suddenly, it's like it's unlocked all of that." She nodded.

AJ sat across from her in sweats, her chin resting on her pulled up knee as she sat quietly on the couch in the therapist office. It had been two weeks since her spell of mania and whilst her husband pretty much helped her back to stability, she had also been coming to a therapist to understand more about what she was going through.

"I thought it was just my bipolar disorder." AJ admitted.

"Well it could be linked. Not taking your pills will definitely enhance the risk of you taking a turn." Jane nodded, "What does it feel like? When you're in it?" She asked as AJ looked across at her.

"Feels like I'm floating." AJ nodded, "Like I'm seeing myself out of my own body." She said as Jane nodded, "But I don't know, I think I preferred that than the depression. I was just lying there, feeling nothing. At least with the mania I was moving around and getting up." AJ said.

"But you can also cause a great deal of harm to yourself during a manic episode, you understand that?" Jane asked.

"Yes, of course." AJ nodded.

"You want my opinion?" She asked as AJ looked across at her, running her hand through her messy hair. She was in an oversized hoodie which belonged to Punk and some loose sweats. She'd been trying to hide her depression and mental health in clothes apparently.

"Go on." AJ nodded.

"I think when you went through everything you did, you never actually got the chance to deal with it properly. It's like it went… it went straight to the back of your mind and you blocked out. Now that something happened to you that triggered all those horrible experiences, you're actually dealing with it properly, you're remembering, you're feeling and realising what actually happened to you." Jane nodded, "And the wonderful outcome of this is that you can realise how strong you were to move on from something like that."

"I'm in a therapists office twenty years later. I don't think I've got over much." AJ shook her head.

"The truth is, something like this, you'll never fully get over. That trauma, everything you experienced, it's gonna stay in your mind forever, but it's how you deal with that, how you turn that trauma around that gets you through it." She nodded, "Have you ever spoken to anyone before about what happened to you?" She asked.

"Just my husband." AJ nodded.

"I want you to explain to me what happened to you, what you went through." Jane said as AJ rolled her eyes.

"You know what I went through." AJ shook her head, "I've told you."

"I have a brief summary but… what is it you think about when you have to look back on that period of your life. What stands out?" Jane nodded as AJ looked across at her.

"Um…" AJ swallowed the lump in her throat. The truth was, she'd never seen a therapist or a specialist about what had happened to her. She'd always just tried to get on with it. She spoke to her husband about it but normally he wasn't sure what to say back.

"Take your time." Jane nodded.

"I think about the sounds." AJ nodded to herself, "The cars in the street going by. That's how I was able to tell the time." She said, "Sun rise outside and a load of cars, normally about 7 or 8am." AJ said, "I used to think to myself… what I'd to be out there, in a car, driving to work or… doing something normal." AJ nodded, "And then there were the sounds of girls crying. Normally new girls." She said, "After a few weeks you stop crying and you just lay there because… what's the point? No one is gonna listen to you, no one cares." She shrugged.

"Did you ever cry?" Jane asked.

"No." AJ shook her head, "I did when I was six." AJ nodded as Jane sighed to herself, "But as I got older I… I just stayed quiet. You didn't get hurt if you stayed quiet." She said.

"What else do you remember?" Jane asked.

"I uh… I remember getting my period. I was 13 or 14 I think." She nodded, "The first thought in my head was that I was pregnant and that I'd lost it, because I saw it so much with the other girls." She said, "But then I got to realise it was just my period, it was normal, but we wouldn't get any toiletries." She said, "I remember when I got out and I realised that tampons and pads existed. I remember buying like nine packs at a time because I was just so… so happy I could use them." She shook her head as Jane frowned, "Still to this day, I'll be in the store and I'll take a couple of packs because I know what it's like to not have those things. Simple but really necessary things." She said.

"I remember… helping my friend give birth. Watching her die." AJ nodded, "Those men in that camp, they knew what was going on and they didn't bat an eyelid." AJ shook her head, "It was like they wanted her to bleed out and die." AJ said, "I uh… I gave birth to my son in my house." AJ nodded, "I had my husband right beside me, my friend helped deliver him and I was still so scared and… and all I could think about was her. How terrified she had to be in those conditions, not even getting a chance to see her baby." AJ shook her head, drying her tears with the sleeve of the hoodie as Jane nodded.

"Do you need a tissue?" Jane asked softly as AJ nodded, watching her rip one from the box and hand it over as AJ took it and wiped her tears, "It's important you remember these feelings, April. It's how you'll get better." She assured her.

"I just don't want that to be my story." AJ shook her head.

"That's not your story." Jane shook her head, "It's the beginning, but it's not all you'll be." She nodded, "You've helped girls just like you, you've helped so many." She nodded, "You imagine that feeling of being free like you did when you were younger. You're giving that to all of these girls." She nodded as AJ looked across at her, "You're preventing and you're stopping these horrible people from taking advantage of girls." She nodded, "You used what you went through to help others. That's the greatest form of recovery for anyone." She said as AJ nodded slowly.

"I wouldn't wish what I went through upon my worst enemy." AJ said, "And it's something that is so taboo and brushed under the carpet." She said, "It's happening all over the world, to so many people." AJ shook her head, "If I can do my part, as small as it is, I can make a difference."

"And you are." Jane smiled, "And that's part of your story. That reflects on who you are as a person."

AJ opened up the car door, watching as Punk jumped in the driver's seat after having taken a nap whilst waiting on AJ in therapy, "Sorry." AJ laughed a little.

"No, you're fine." Punk assured her, "How'd it go?" He asked her as she got into the car and nodded.

"It was ok." AJ nodded positively, "She's a nice person."

"Yeah?" Punk said as AJ nodded, "How you feel after it?" He asked her.

It'd been difficult for him to see her the way she was, but he hadn't given up. He helped her back to a stable mind. He gave her pills, he made sure she ate, he bathed her and helped her wash her hair, until she finally got back to her normal self. She wasn't one hundred percent but she was on the right path for sure.

"I feel good." AJ nodded to him as he smiled, "Well… better at least." AJ said as Punk nodded.

"Good." Punk smiled, leaning over and kissing her cheek, "So you're gonna keep going?"

"Yeah, I think so." AJ nodded, "I don't think I ever actually got the chance to think about it all." AJ admitted, "When it was happening I was… I was just one another planet. When I got out I was so focused on moving forward, everything I had to face, prison, Russian government whatever… I never got the chance to actually realise what happened." She nodded, "Now I do." She said, "And I have this reach with the business I have, and I'm helping girls like me, aren't I?" She turned to him as he smiled and nodded.

"Yeah." Punk nodded, "You're doing that." He said.

"Hey, do you mind if we go to the safe house that's here?" AJ asked him, looking over at the time, "We can pick the girls up on the way home." She said as Punk smiled and nodded.

"Sure." Punk nodded.

"I've never actually been to see it." AJ said, "I was there when it got built but… I never met anyone or spoke to anyone there." AJ nodded as Punk smiled.

"Sure, let's go." He nodded, placing his hand on her thigh comfortingly before pulling out of the parking space and getting on route. He could start to see that spark and fire in her eyes again. Something he would forever remember when he first met her.

They arrived at the safe house which was out in the middle of nowhere with the most beautiful scenery around the large house. It was for girls who had been victims of human trafficking, or girls who had been rescued from it. AJ had saw the process of it being built. After they had so many donations, they all agreed it was the best thing to use their money on since a lot of the girls who were living there, didn't have a family, just like her.

"This place is nice." Punk nodded, locking the car, wrapping his arm around her as they walked across to the door.

"I forgot I looked like this." AJ realised she was still in sweats and a large hoodie.

"You look beautiful." Punk kissed her head, opening up the door and letting her in first as she smiled to him and walked on into the house.

AJ knew the woman who ran the house, so she immediately got a warm welcome from her when she was spotted.

"Oh, April." Anna smiled as AJ raised her eyebrows with a smile, "Hey." She said, wrapping her arms around AJ as AJ hugged back a little awkwardly.

"Hi." AJ laughed a little, "Sorry for… popping in unexpectedly. I just… Is it ok if I just look around?" AJ asked her.

"Hey, you made this place possible." Anna smiled, "Of course." She nodded, "Hi, Phil." She nodded to Punk who nodded to her, "Can I get you guys a drink or something?" She asked them.

"No, I'm fine." AJ smiled.

"I'm good thanks." Punk nodded to her.

"Ok, let me know if you need anything." Anna said, walking back over to the desk where she was working.

"This place is big." AJ raised her eyebrows, looking around at the large entrance area where some girls were sitting. She could see out the windows that some were outside. The best thing was that she could see them laughing and smiling. It was so nice to see how safe they felt.

"Go on." Punk nodded to her, "Go have a look around." He told her.

"Come with me." AJ nodded, taking his hand and not giving him a choice as he smiled.

Some girls were as young as their early teens, some were older in their twenties, but they all looked safe and well. Healthy with clean clothes and smiles. It made AJ smile.

"Did you draw this?" AJ questioned, walking over to the table where a group of girls were painting and messing around.

"Uh… yeah." The younger girl nodded, looking up at her.

"That's amazing." AJ smiled, sitting down on the spare chair next to her as the girl smiled, "How old are you?" AJ asked.

"Thirteen." The girl smiled as Punk sat down beside AJ.

"What's that on your lip?" A girl asked Punk from the other side of the table.

"Oh, this?" Punk pointed to his lip ring, "Fishing accident." He nodded as the girls stared at him, "I'm joking." He laughed a little as they smiled.

"You're really talented." AJ smiled to the girl sitting next to her.

"Thanks. My name is Sophie." She said.

"April." AJ smiled to her, "How long have you been here?"

"Just a few weeks." Sophie said, "I love it here. Did you just move in?" She asked curiously.

"N-No. No, I… I know the people who run it." AJ shrugged, "It's… really big." AJ nodded, looking around the place.

"Yeah, we all love it. And we get to go to school too. There's a bus for us." Sophie smiled as AJ nodded.

"You like school?" AJ smiled as Sophie nodded.

"Yeah." Sophie nodded, "This is my art homework." She explained as AJ nodded.

"Well I'd give that an A plus." AJ nodded as Sophie smiled, "Do you have friends here?" AJ asked her as she nodded.

"Yeah. Some of them are in the kitchen right now. Sometimes I like painting alone." She said as AJ smiled and nodded. Seeing such innocent faces, knowing that this place was keeping them sheltered and protected, and giving them a normal life, it was making AJ's heart warm, especially seeing little girls like Sophie.

"I like doing stuff alone too." AJ agreed as Sophie smiled, showing her some more paintings.

Meanwhile Punk sat across the bench type table with some other girls who were making bracelets.

"My daughter's would love this stuff." Punk nodded. It was the types of things that Raimy and Vivian got up to, and it hurt his heart to think about his girls ever having to go through what these girls had. But seeing them safe and happy was such a wonderful thing to see.

"We can make them one." The girl sitting next to Punk nodded, "What are their names? We have letters. We can put their names on them." She said excitedly. They always liked making bracelets for other people.

"Ok, free of charge, right?" Punk teased as they laughed a little and nodded, "Raimy and Vivian."

"Oh, pretty names." One exclaimed, "What are their favourite colours?" She asked.

"Raimy likes blue and Vivian likes pink." Punk nodded.

"Oh, we have lots of pink and blue." One exclaimed as Punk smiled, watching them work together.

He glanced over to AJ who was sat across from him talking to another little girl, watching her as she was smiling and laughing with her as she showed her paintings. He hoped she knew that her hard work had resulted in all of these girls feeling safe again.