Chapter 4
Gemma sits me down on the bed and pulls the covers over my lap leaving me sitting against the headboard when Happy walks in. Gemma leaves us alone and he walks over to the side of the bed and sits down. "What do you want Happy?" I ask. "I'm sorry." he says. "Don't. Only reason you're here is because your Pres sent you." I say softly. "But he's right. I need to fix this shit. I know you don't want in this marriage any more than I do but this is the only way to keep you safe from going to jail." he tells me. "I want you to get the divorce papers started." I tell him. He finally looks at me. "I'm not doing that." he tells me. "Why not? Happy, we're both miserable. I go home to your guest room every night and cry while you're here dipping your dick in anyone that's not me. Why would you want to stay in this?" I ask. "To keep you safe." he tells me. "I don't need you to keep me safe." I tell him and the tears start to fall again. He reaches over and takes my hand and neither of us say anything for a minute. He looks over and sees my bag and asks "Gemma pack all your things?" I shake my head no and say "Never unpacked." He looks at me and asks "Why not?" I look down at his hand still holding mine and say "Not my home. It's just temporary, right?" I start to yawn and he asks "You tired?" I just nod my head yes. "Pain meds are kicking in." I tell him. He leans down and starts untying his boots. "What are you doing?" I ask. "Laying down with my wife." he says. "Don't. Just head back out there. I'm sure there are plenty of girls out there waiting on you." I tell him. "Clara, let's just start over okay?" he asks. "Just let me get some rest and we'll talk. I don't really want to talk right now. These meds are going to have me out cold in a few minutes." I tell him. "Okay. I'll let Jax know we're going to sort this shit out and we can talk about this shit with your dad tomorrow." he tells me. "Okay." I say.
A little later, I feel the bed dip down and feel an arm go around me. I jump a little and hear his voice in my ear. "It's just me little girl." Happy says. I move closer to the wall and say "Please don't." I plead. "I just want to hold my wife. Please?" he says and something's different. I turn to face him and ask "What's wrong?" He looks at me and says "Just tired of fighting." I lay back down and he pulls me to him and I don't fight him. "What are we doing Happy?" I ask. "We're going to handle this shit with your dad and then we're going to fix things with us." he tells me. I look up at him and ask "Are you sure?" he nods before he says "Get some sleep little girl."
Waking up the next morning, I am on my side with my back to Happy and his arms are still around me. I go to move and he tightens his hold on me and I wince. "Shit. Sorry babe." he says. "It's okay." I say and he loosens his hold. I go to get up and go to the bathroom and when I go to stand, it hurts even worse. "Shit." I say as I grab ahold of the bed. Happy is quick to jump up and help me stand and walks me to the bathroom. "I'll be right out here when you're done." he tells me and closes the door. I do my business and stand back up. I wash my hands and my face and open the door. Happy is right there, dressed and helps me to the bed. "I'll get one of the girls to come help you get dressed. Then we'll talk." He tells me and I just nod. A couple of minutes later, Opie's Old Lady Lyla walks in and starts helping me get dressed. "Can I ask you something?" I ask Lyla. "Sure honey. You can ask me anything." she tells me. "This with Happy, what do I do?" I ask. "What did he tell you?" she asks. "Basically that he wants to fix this. Actually try." I tell her. "Then let him. I see how you look at him. You can't tell me that you don't have some kind of feelings for him." she says. I just look at my hands. "I'll let Happy know you're dressed. Let me know if you need anything." she tells me before hugging me.
A couple of minutes later, Happy walks in and sits on the side of the bed. Neither of us say anything for a minute before I break the ice. "Do you want this Happy?" I ask. He doesn't say anything at first but takes my hand and says "At first I was pissed but the more I think about it the more it makes sense to try and make it work." he says. "I'm not talking about what the club thinks, Happy. I want to know what you want. What you think." I say. "I don't know." he says. "Happy, I don't want to be miserable. I'm going to tell you something that no one knows. Maybe it will help you understand why I keep pushing the divorce." I tell him. He turns to me and listens. "My dad started...um...renting me out, when I was fourteen. I don't know what it's like to be with someone where it wasn't forced and last night, when we were in bed, is the first time I've been touched by someone and it not be beating me or raping me. It's the first time someone has been gentle with me." I tell him. "Shit babe. I didn't know." he tells me. "I know. No one does. No one but my dad. When he sold me to Mark, is the first time that he has sold me and not rented me. Now he wants to sell me to someone else. About two years ago, I tried to kill myself. When I got out of the hospital, my dad beat me so bad that I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks. Happy, I don't give a shit about myself. I just don't want more heat on you guys but the more I think about it the more scared I get. Please don't let him get to me." I say as the tears start to fall. "I won't little girl. I won't." he says as he pulls me into his arms.
After I get myself together I pull away from him and ask "What do we do about us?" He rubs his hand down his face and says "I think we should try this." He says. "So I go back to your house?" I ask. "Once we find your dad then yeah." he says. "Okay. Well, Gemma told you I'm in the guest room right? You still have your room." I say. "We can move your things into my room." he says. I don't say anything. He turns to look at me and says "I want you to move into my room. Our room." he says and I nod. "Will you still be hooking up with the croweaters?" I ask. He shakes his head no. "Okay." I say and my stomach growls. "Let's go get you something eat." he says.
We walk out to the main room and he helps me to a table. Sitting down he asks Gemma "Can you fix her something to eat Gem?" She smiles at him and says "Yeah baby." before getting up and heading into the kitchen to get me something to eat. "Church brother." Tig says to Happy. "Stay inside okay?" He asks. "Okay." I say. He cups my face and kisses my lips softly. "I'll be back." he says softly. He heads into the chapel and Gemma brings me my food. "I see that's better." she says smiling. "He wants to try I guess." she says. "You don't?" she asks. "It's not that. If he's wanting to try, I'm willing to try but shit's so messed up with my past, it's just taking me a beat to get right, you know?" I ask. "I get it." she tells me. "You know he slept in the bed with me last night? That's the first time in my life that someone was gentle with me." I tell her. "Oh baby." she says. "Gemma, my head is so twisted but things were comfortable with him last night. I just hope I don't get hurt. I don't think I could handle that. A few minutes later, the guys come out of the chapel and Happy comes over and kneels down in front of me. "We found him. We're heading out. I don't want you outside or out of Gemma's sight until I get back." he tells me. "Okay baby." I say. "You know what I'm going to do. Are you okay with it?" he asks. "As long as he can't get to me, I'm okay with it." I tell him. Kissing me softly, he says "When I get back, we'll crash here tonight and head home in the morning." I nod my head to show my okay and he kisses me one more time. "Be careful please." I say. "Always baby." he says before heading out with the others to take care of my dad.