You Don't Know Me, Arnold
Chapter 12: Identity
We are reaching the end ladies and gentlemen.
I have calculated that this Fanfiction is going to have 15 chapters total :( Awww I know, but this story was only a Prequel to The Jungle Movie. So the story continues, but on the big screen ;) A two hour long special to be exact.
But lets not think about that right now xD You still got four juicy chapters to read! IMPORTANT MESSAGE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER!
"You going to the Cheese Festival Arnold?" Gerald asked as Simmons gave us time to work on our cards again.
I glanced over at Helga and noticed that she was deeply concentrated on her card.
"No, not this year. I, as in Arnold, got... things to do."
That was partially true. ARNOLD isn't going to the Cheese Festival, but ALBERTO is. So I didn't feel too bad about not telling Gerald the whole truth. I mean I didn't necessarily lie, I just... didn't entirely tell him everything.
"Are you?" I asked and I noticed him blush.
"You know I always go with Phoebe, Arnold..." he said. "I have been for the past two festivals."
"Yeah I remember, are you excited?"
"Yeah, I heard there's this new ride and I want to try it out. Hopefully Phoebe is up for it."
"Have fun Gerald, tell me all about it when you go back home."
"I'm surprised you didn't ask Pataki to go with you, you sure you're not up to anything?"
Dang it. I knew it was a mistake to try to fool Gerald the Observant.
I sighed in defeat and told him everything, and you should have seen his eyes, they were coming out of his sockets.
"Arnold, have you gone crazy!?" he whispered roughly. "Pataki ain't stupid! She'll know it's you!"
"She seemed to believe me when I talked to her, Phoebe fell for it too."
Gerald sighed and shook his head, "You're a BOLD kid Arnold. But don't come cryin to me if Pataki discovers you."
"She won't Gerald, this plan is going to work. Just you wait!"
"He asked you to the Cheese Festival Helga?"
Gerald and I turned to Phoebe who was looking at Helga in shock.
Helga's response was inaudible but it seemed like she gave an affirmative.
"What about ice cream?" Phoebe replied in slight worry.
Ice cream? Were Phoebe and Helga planning to get ice cream that day?
"Ice cream is... slowly melting Phoebe, it's time to move on don't you think?"
Did Helga drop her ice cream? I'm so confused.
Girls. I'll never understand them.
"Then what's with the card? I'm afraid I do not understand." Phoebe asked.
That makes two of us Phoebe.
"Looks like Pataki really doesn't know it's you," Gerald pointed out. "Unless she's faking it."
"Faking it?" I asked him. "What do you mean by that?"
"Mmm mm mmm, still as dense as ever. I mean that there is a possibility that Helga knows it's you but she's only playing along to see where this goes, ever thought of that Arnold?"
No. I didn't think of that.
But that can't be true, I was sure that Alberto was making himself seem very cocky and arrogant, and let me tell you, that's NOT me.
Cocky and arrogant are definitely not in my dictionary, at least I don't think so.
"I think I'll be fine Gerald, you'll see, it'll all work out great in the end."
"I sure hope so Arnold."
After recess, I walked toward my locker to get my book for history and I noticed a pink piece of paper slip out as I opened it.
It was a heart shaped paper and it looked like a poem was written inside.
Your golden locks will forever haunt me
I simply cannot bear to look into your eyes full of green
Without remembering
What monster I have become this past decade
Oh Arnold, so pure
I do not deserve a cure
I must find myself
But how can I?
If I've lost the one thing that makes me, me
I love you Arnold
Even if it will forever be
Unrequited
Say what now?
I looked around me, trying to find who had written this.
This is really depressing to read... I wonder who wrote it.
With a shrug, I grabbed my book and I put the card in my book.
I need to talk to a professional.
Gerald rolled around dramatically in his computer chair with a leg over his other leg, his hands clasped together with a questioning look.
"So Arnold, what brings you to the Dr. Gerald Johanssen office today?"
"Gerald..." I groaned as I crossed my arms.
"Hey! Let a brother be a detective if he wants to! Like those Men in Black movies."
"Gerald, Men in Black is a movie about spies."
"And? Same thing!"
I sighed in defeat and put the card on his desk. "I found this Valentine in my locker today, I wanted you to help me figure out who it's from."
Gerald went into his desk and put gloves on, grabbing the card with great care.
I rolled my eyes and leaned on my hand while I observed him do his work.
"Hmmm, pink construction paper, nice writing..." he then read the card and started laughing.
"Man Arnold! What IS it with you and the ladies!? Who's heart did you break this time?"
I suddenly felt VERY offended.
"I'm not a heartbreaker!" I retorted in defense as I crossed my arms.
"Not a heartbreaker? Do you REMEMBER what happened with Lila when she thought you liked her liked her. You totally rejected her cold," he said as he snickered.
I glared at him, "I didn't reject her cold! I let her down easy..."
"Yeah, and then SHE did the same to you a few days later, and not just once. MANY times!" Gerald exclaimed as he grabbed his stomach and started laughing.
I groaned, "Gerald you aren't helping!"
Gerald looked at me and coughed so that he can stop laughing, after clearing his throat he said, "Okay, so it's clearly not from Lila because she made it PRETTY clear that she doesn't like you like you, she just..."
"Likes me," I finished. "Yeah Gerald I think I'm pretty aware."
Gerald inspected the card a little bit more, "Hmm who could this be?"
"Maybe it's Phoebe," I teased as he turned and glared at me.
Sheesh, if looks could kill... I'd be dead.
"NOT COOL MAN! NOT COOL! You're my brotha! Isn't that like a rule or something?"
"Sheesh Gerald I was just kidding!" I said as I held my hands up.
"You best have been!" he said as he looked back at the card. "Hmm, well this person is definitely in our class because this is the kind of construction paper Simmons was providing us. Who was writing in purple pen today? Do you remember?" he said while reading the poem again.
And boy was I glad he didn't look at me.
Purple pen... PURPLE PEN!
Could it have...
"Gerald..." I said nervously. "Can I see the poem again?"
"Yeah man," he said as he passed it to me.
I read over the words - over and over - and the more I read them, the more sense it made.
Helga.
"I have to go," I said as I stood up as he glanced at me in confusion.
"Why? Did you find out who it was?"
"I think I did, but I'm not one hundred percent sure... I'll let you know what happens," I said as we did our handshake.
"So you're not going to tell me?" he asked as I gave him an apologetic look.
"Not for now, is that okay?" I asked as I smiled nervously.
Gerald nervously glanced back at me, "Arnold..."
"Yeah?" I asked and I noticed he started playing with his fingers.
"It's not Phoebe is it?" he muttered nervously.
I smiled as I shook my head, "It's not Phoebe, Gerald. That, I know for sure."
"You promise?" he asked as he looked up at me.
"Gerald you know I can't lie. I PROMISE!" I said as I crossed my heart.
He sighed in relief as we did our handshake again and we bid our farewells.
I hate contact lenses.
They feel so weird when you have to put them on, ugh, I hope I never have to wear them again after this.
I wore the same outfit I wore when I "met" Helga for the "first time."
After getting ready, I walked toward her house to pick her up for the Cheese Festival. I rung the doorbell and I noticed her open the door.
She blinked in surprise, "Oh... you're actually here?"
I looked at her in confusion, "Of course señorita, you didn't think I'd leave you hanging did you?"
Helga smiled, "To be perfectly honest, I thought you would," she finished as she stepped out.
She was wearing her usual outfit with her usual hairstyle, which I didn't mind.
I frowned, "Why would you think that?"
"I'm not necessarily your typical Disney princess first of all..."
"Disney princesses are overrated," I immediately responded. "Most of them are shallow, and you are NOT shallow. And I think you're very beautiful."
She looked at me in confusion, "Thanks... no one has ever said said anything that nice to me before."
"Really?" I asked in surprise.
"Well... there was one person..." she trailed off. "So, what are we doing first?"
I glanced at her in confusion at her sudden subject change, but I didn't push it.
"Well I'm imagining that you're pretty hungry," I responded. "We gotta fill that belly up first. It's latino culture."
"Latino culture?" she asked, "Where did you say you were from again?"
"Um... Mexico," I quickly responded.
"I heard the tacos are good over there," she responded as I nodded.
"They are! Especially the CaRne Asada ones. You should go sometime, try the ARRoz and FRijoles too. Rice and beans," I responded, remembering what I had eaten at Lorenzo's house earlier this week.
She giggled, "You talk pretty funny for being a latino. I would assume you'd be more fluent with your accent."
"It's Spanglish Helga, it's harder than you think," I joked, and she laughed.
Phew, THAT was a close one.
"Well I guess we're here," I said as we arrived at the Cheese Festival. "Let's go get comida."
"Comida?" she asked.
"It means food," I responded with a wink as we headed towards the food court.
"What would you like?" I asked.
"Corn dog with a Yahoo Soda please."
"Good choice," I responded as I bought the same thing for myself. "Too bad they don't sell toRtas de caRnitas."
"Bob loves those," Helga responded as she took the food I offered her and gave me an observing look.
"Bob?" I asked, remembering that I'm not supposed to know who he is.
I noticed her express a look of defeat as she stated, "He's my dad."
"Why do you call him Bob?" I asked and I was legitimately curious. Not even Arnold knew why she called him by his first name.
"Because he's not necessarily father material, so I only call him Dad on special occasions," she responded but put a hand over her mouth after saying it. "Ugh, why would you care anyway?" she scolded as she put her hands on her hips.
I guess I looked pretty startled because she seemed to regret what she said immediately after, "Sorry Alberto... you just... remind me of someone. And I'm not one to talk about my personal life..."
"It's okay Helga, I understand," I said and she gave me that suspicious look again so I shrugged carelessly, "It's none of my business anyway."
She seemed a bit disappointed that I had said that but said nothing as she finished her corn dog. "Well, what's next?"
"I bet you can't beat me on a good game of ring toss."
"HA! You're on!" she said as we both ran to the game booths.
I made a mental note that at some point during this date I was going to bring Arnold (or me) up. I need to know what she meant by that poem. I'm not the best at dissecting them...
Do you blame me though? I'm only 10 years old! Dissecting poems is high school stuff!
After our game of ring toss, and Helga winning both rounds. I decided to take a risk.
"Wow, you're good. And I thought I was good after competing against this one kid with a football head."
She turned to me in confusion, "Kid with a football head?"
"Yeah I forgot his name, he was a little gringo. Alfred, Antonio..."
"Arnold?" she asked in curiosity.
"Bingo!" I said as I snapped my fingers. "He invited me to his house the other day and we played this game on his Abuelo's roof, that means grandfather. I beat him three times in a row and it's like he didn't care. He's pretty pathetic."
"I wouldn't say he's pathetic... he's just big on sportsmanship," Helga retorted.
"You know him?" I asked as I bought us cotton candy.
"Yeah, we go to the same school..."
"Wait a minute, are you the same Helga Pataki he told me about?" I asked and she seemed surprised.
"ARNOLD! Told you about me!?" she asked in shock.
Ouch. Her shock is offensive! Does she think I don't care about her or something?
"Yeah, he says you're an amazing person, and I agree."
She slightly blushed and I couldn't help but feel butterflies in my stomach, do I mean that much to her?
"He didn't say that..." she shyly said as she looked down. "How could he? He thinks I'm a big bully with no friends."
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT I SAID!
"That's not what he told me. He thinks very highly of you Helga, makes me kind of jealous..."
She looked up at me and I could have sworn she had a glint of hope, but I didn't want to assume.
"Did he really say that?"
"He did. But he also told me you don't talk to him anymore, is that true?"
"I speak to him a few times, but I guess you could say I don't address him as much as I used to."
"But why?" I asked, anxiety crawling through my skin.
She shook her head and look at the Tilt-a-Whirl made of cheese, "Oh look! Let's try that ride first!"
I admit, I was really disappointed that she had abruptly change the subject like that, but I complied and we headed toward the ride.
The ride was exciting, both of us had a great time and I honestly never realized I'd have this much fun with Helga G. Pataki.
Helga laughed as the ride ended and I laughed too until I felt my golden locks start coming back up.
What the...
I touched my hair and noticed the scrunchie that was holding my hair in place was gone.
I PANICKED! IF HELGA SEES MY HAIR IN IT'S NORMAL FORM SHE'S GOING TO KNOW IT'S ME, CONTACTS OR NOT.
I grabbed my hair and held in place as I gave her a nervous smile. "Ey have you seen my liga anywhere?"
"Liga?" she asked as she raised an eyebrow.
"It means hair tie in spanish," I responded as I looked around the ride.
She helped me search but to no success.
"Just leave your hair like that, you can live a few hours without it," she told me as I shook my head.
"No señorita you don't understand, my hair goes all over the place without it. Not attractive!"
"Who are you trying to impress, the Queen of England? You look fine! Now come on, let's go there," she said as she grabbed my hand and dragged me to the House of Mirrors.
What she didn't realize, was that the wind caused my hair to start coming out of place, even with my hand holding onto it.
Man, I should have worn gel...
By the time Helga and I were in the House of Mirrors, I was in COMPLETE panic mode.
She let go of my hand and said, "Try and find me Alberto!"
She ran off and I let go of my hair and as expected - it flew everywhere - and I looked EXACTLY like my real self, only with brown eyes.
I quickly grabbed my hair and put it back down, I couldn't let Helga see me.
I looked around me and noticed a little girl with a ponytail looking at herself in the mirror.
Well, it's worth a shot.
"Hi little girl," I said nicely as I approached her.
She turned to me and I realized that she looked to be about Timberly's age.
"Hi mister," she responded.
"Can I have your scrunchie?" I asked as I pointed at it.
"Why?"
"I need it, it's kind of an emergency, look," I said as I let go of my hair, causing it to fly everywhere.
The girl's eyes lit up and smiled, "Oh joy! You're Arnold, I'm a big fa..."
She stopped as I put a hand over her mouth, shushing her.
"Shhhh, and how do you know who I am?"
"Duh! You saved the neighborhood! You are a Childhood Legend! A legend to be passed on from kid generation to kid generation*, you're also my friend Timberly's brother's best friend!"
I suddenly, slightly, regret saving the neighborhood. EVERYBODY knows who I am!
But then again...
"Yeah, it's me, and I'm on a secret mission right now. Which is why I need your scrunchie, I need to disguise myself. But you can't tell anyone," I said as I put a finger to my lips.
"Okay! Anything for you! Your secret is safe with me," she said as she took off her scrunchie and gave it to me.
I grabbed the hair tie quickly and bid her a thank you as I quickly headed toward where Helga had run off to.
I didn't want to keep her waiting, or else she'd really grow suspicious.
I guess I wasn't watching where I was going though because I ended up bumping into her, causing the hair I was holding on to fly all over the place... again.
She groaned as she stood up and looked at herself in the mirror, and that's when she widened her eyes, noticing me with my hair done Arnold style.
As she rubbed her eyes, I panicked and put the hair tie on and stood up and stood beside her.
She opened her eyes and seemed startled that "Arnold" wasn't there anymore.
"Hello señorita, I found you," I said as she jumped and looked at me in shock.
"WHO SAID YOU COULD CREEP UP ON ME!? How long have you been standing there?"
"I just came in, sorry about that," I said as I scratched the back of my neck.
"But I could have sworn I just saw..." she started but shook her head as she let go of that thought.
Phew...
"Wait a second..." she said as she turned to look at me. "Where'd you get that hair tie? I thought you lost it."
I shrugged, "I find ways."
"You didn't steal it from some little girl did you? Cause boy would that have been pathetic."
I'm so glad the room was dark so that she wouldn't notice my blush.
"C'mon, let's go to another ride, may I suggest the Tunnel of Love?" I said as I grabbed her hand.
"Already? Man, you sure like to rush things," she said as we got out of the House of Mirrors and got in line for the Tunnel of Love.
"Hey! It's always a party when you're with me," I said as I pointed at myself with my thumb.
"You're so full of yourself," she responded as she rolled her eyes. "I cannot believe I actually thought you were Ar..."
She stopped herself before finishing that sentence.
Ar? What's Ar? WHAT WAS SHE GOING TO SAY!?
"What?" I asked as she shook her head.
"Forget it, c'mon it's our turn to get on!"
As the ride started, she smiled as we both looked at the scenery.
"Hey, thanks a lot for inviting me here, I don't carry such good memories of the Cheese Festival," she said sadly. "It really flatters me."
"Why not? Have you been on bad dates before?" I asked, legitimately curious as to why her Cheese Festivals have sucked.
I mean I know she attended the last two, I remember seeing her when I tried to say hi to Ruth and when Lila and I had our somehow successful "date."
She blushed as she turned away, "I really don't want to talk about it, but they've never been good."
I frowned and grabbed her hand, "Well did you enjoy today?"
She nodded, "Definitely, thanks..."
I smiled and let go of her hand.
She likes me, she really likes me.
WAIT.
HOLD THE PHONE!
She doesn't like ME, she likes Alberto... I mean I AM Alberto but she likes Arnold Alberto not Arnold Arnold.
At that moment, at that very moment, I realized how stupid this plan was.
WHY couldn't I have just asked her out as Arnold?
What if she stops liking liking Arnold and starts liking liking Alberto?
My head hurts.
Monday
I decided to get rid of Alberto FOR GOOD.
If I wanted Helga to like me again, I HAD to cut the act and start approaching her as ARNOLD.
I threw away those itchy contacts and the stupid clothes.
How did our date end? Well I walked her home, bid her goodbye and told her I was going back to Mexico the next day.
What did you expect though? I had to cut the act at some point, Alberto was an obstacle from Arnold.
Heh... who would have though I'd be jealous of myself?
Which is why I currently find myself standing behind a locker and spying on Helga as she opened her own locker, causing a red cut out heart to fall out.
She picked it up and read it.
I hear you
Your cries, your pain, your hopelessness
I hear you
You say my golden locks haunt you
I hear you
But do you hear me?
As I desperately try to communicate with you
Let me nurse you
Let me care for you
Do you hear me?
Because I too cannot bear to stare you in the eye
Without remembering the pain I inflicted on you so long ago
You have not lost me
But have I lost you?
Hear me out Helga, hear me
Sorry for the long delay!
I started university Dx which means y'all should expect less recent updates. But I PROMISE I'll have this finished before The Jungle Movie comes out. I mean... I kinda have to xD I just need three chapters anyway. So yeah, that was my important message for you guys. Have patience and bear with me these next few weeks.
TJM References:
*Legend: In The Jungle Movie clip, Sid states that Arnold is a "legend to be passed down from kid generation to kid generation." This is the same quote the little girl used in this chapter.
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