Flashback

Lou's POV

It was the first time Bobby had let me go out on a hunt. I was 15 and really itching to do more than answer phones and look into the mythologies of different baddies. Bobby said that I wasn't allowed to go it alone so he sent word to the Winchesters. I had seen them in and out of the house for years, always taller than the last time.

The boys had been by for a long time after John died. It was like there was nothing left for Dean anymore besides fixing the car. I tried to go out and help him as much as I could but he always scowled or yelled or just plain ignored me until my feelings got hurt and I ran back home. Bobby said that I shouldn't take it personally.

"Come on Princess, he's just working through things," he said. He always said that, as if that made it better. It never did. It hurt like hell every time.

It was actually my 15th birthday present, hunting. It was Bobby's best effort. He wasn't really a touchy feely kind of guy but then again no hunter was, but it was him saying that he trusted me, which was pretty much the best gift in the world.

He called up the boys a few days before my birthday and told them what the deal was. I woke up to voices talking downstairs on the special day. It wasn't really anything new, people stopped by if they knew Bobby well enough for him to trust them.

When I walked down the stairs I was in my jammies and my hair looked like a bird decided it would make a good little home. That's when I spotted them. Dean was leaning against a wall, drinking coffee, looking dangerous and…. well he was in a leather jacket, older, kind of an ass, and I was a 15 year old girl who was into guys, you do the math. So, because of all of that, my heart stopped. He was also maybe like 27 years old. That's 12 years older than me, which meant I would always be a kid to him.

Sam was also there, looking like a puppy dog when his face did that thing where he would look at you and get this big grin plastered on it like you were the only person in the world he wanted to see, but he did that with everyone so you only felt special for like half a minute but his smile was so infectious that you also didn't really care, yeah that look. When I saw that look I forgot all about how I looked and I ran into his outstretched, oversized arms. It was like being cuddled by one of those teddy bears you only see at the carnivals but you can never win because all the games were rigged.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked Sam. I couldn't acknowledge Dean, not with my hair looking like a tornado blew through it and my jammies had pigs with wings on them.

"They're here to take you on your first hunt Princess," Bobby clarified from the coffee maker, stirring my coffee just how I like it, sugar with a dash of coffee and cream. I spun on him, nearly knocking my coffee out of his outstretched hand.

"Really?!" I don't think I had ever been so excited. I was bouncing up and down I was so excited.

"You got to get to school first young lady." Bobby was always so stern about school, if I wasn't dying, I was at school learning. He said he wanted me to have options. I nodded my head quickly. I reached for the mug of sugar and coffee he was still holding and chugged the hot liquid down then bounded back up the stairs to get dressed. Since it was my birthday and October and still warm and the fact that planning things is something I had loved doing since before the beginning of time, I already had my outfit laid out.

It was a dress. I didn't wear dresses often, or really ever but it was a special occasion so I pulled out one of the two dresses I owned. It was white and lacy and pretty and hit just above my knees so it wasn't too revealing or anything so Bobby would let me out of the house in it.

I pulled on matching, but regrettably dirty, white high top converse and brushed my hair. Then I hated how my hair looked down so I pulled it into a ponytail and felt better about it. I didn't wear makeup much either on a count of only ever getting makeup from Bobby on Christmas because he didn't know what else to put in my stocking, but today I put on mascara and blush. I looked at myself for a long time in the mirror and for the first time in a very long time I thought I looked rather pretty. Not really hot, I didn't think I'd ever be considered hot, but pretty which was a vast improvement from cute or acceptable to be seen in public without a bag over my head.

I brushed my teeth quickly, and packed my backpack as I brushed. Then finally I headed back down the stairs. All the men where talking about whatever case there was. It was in Wisconsin which I guess wasn't too far but far enough that I knew I'd be spending a lot of time in the car.

"Hey Bobby, I'm gonna be late if we don't get moving," I said tentatively but loud enough to cut off the conversation.

He looked at me, then stopped. "Well look at you Princess." I looked down at myself, blushing fiercely. "These idjits wouldn't know a compliment if it smacked um upside the head, but they can agree you look great." Bobby gave the boys a pointed look.

"Yeah no, Lou, you look great," Sam tried.

"Yeah real looker when you get older." That was the best compliment Dean could muster which earned him an elbow in the ribs from Sam. "What?" He shrugged off the elbow as if he didn't know what he did wrong.

I mumbled "Idjit," under my breath as I grabbed a frozen waffle for the road. I looked at Bobby expectantly.

"Oh right, sorry Princess I can't drive you today, I got to work on the case you're going on."

I shrugged. "Maybe I can help instead of…" he never even let me finish the thought.

"I will not hear it Louise Theodora. Dean is gonna drive you and that's that." Bobby only called her that when he was trying to be strict but I knew he was just a big softy on the inside.

"What?" Dean asked looking at Bobby with that pinched confused look he got sometimes.

"You heard me boy." That was all Bobby said on the subject and honestly that was all he needed to say. Dean rolled his eyes and huffed but led the way outside to Baby.

Before we reached the car I asked the one question that I would always know the answer to. "Can I drive?" He just glared at me before getting into the driver's side.

The day at school had gone by pretty fast. Nothing all that interesting happened. I got a few happy birthday wishes from some people who knew it was my birthday. My best friend Sophie gave me a cup of coffee in a reusable travel mug that said "unicorn blood" in glittery letters. It wasn't the best coffee in the world but it was the thought that counted… mostly.

The day was both long and short. When you measure your time in blocks of entertainment, time moves differently.

I walked outside, going to wait for Bobby in front of the school as I did every day. That was when Ryan came up to me. Ryan was nice enough to me, kinda nerdy but in a way that was cute. He liked the same kind of books that I liked and we constantly argued about which of the Doctors where the best. I always argued that the newest Doctor, the 10th, was pretty amazing but he was such a classic Who lover that he couldn't get past the old ones. It was really our biggest topic of conversation.

"Hey birthday girl," he beamed at me. I smiled back at him. Today he was wearing a Star Trek t-shirt with a reference I didn't quite understand.

"Hey Ryan what's up?" We didn't have any classes together but we met through mutual friends and ate lunch together almost every day.

He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets, tucking his ears low into his shoulders like he was cold. "Oh nothing much. He I was wondering…" He never finished his thought because a gravel like voice boomed over everyone and everything.

"Lou!" I whorled so quickly I wobbled on my feet a little and spread my arms wide to keep my balance. There was Dean leaning against the passenger's side of the Impala, his arms crossed over his chest. I rolled my eyes.

I turned back around to face Ryan. "Sorry about that what's up?" I was kinda eager to find out what he was going to say. I was the weird smart girl who lived in a junkyard… not really the kind of girl people asked out and I had thought maybe… well hoped more that maybe Ryan was about to maybe ask me to see a movie or something equally embarrassingly cute.

He wasn't looking at me anymore though. His chocolate brown eyes were fixed on the man behind me. "Who's that?"

I glanced over my shoulder. "That's just a friend of the family," I sighed.

I turned back to see Ryan. He looked pale and scared. Dean had that effect on people. He took his hands out of his pockets, rubbing them on his jeans. "Yeah," he started not looking at me again, "I'll see you later Louise." He almost ran off then.

I bowed my head, my cheeks heating up so much that I knew my entire face was bright red. That happened whenever I felt too much emotion. Bobby said that was part of the reason I had always been so quiet about how I felt, because when people can see how you feel, words are sort of useless.

I moved slowly towards Dean, who was just staring at me as I walked. "Who was that skinny kid?" That was what he chose to ask. No "Hey, Lou. How was school? Anything fun happen? Learn anything? Did I just ruin a potential moment for you to be asked on her first date?" I just glared up at him and moved to open my door but Dean didn't move.

"Come on let me in the car." I pulled on the handle for emphasis.

"Was that your boyfriend?"

"No. And thanks to you he probably never will be," I huffed at him.

He looked down at me in confusion. "How is it my fault he doesn't like you?" He saw the hurt in my eyes when he said that. Well, he saw the tears which is basically the same thing. "Oh come on Lou, that's not what I meant." I didn't say anything. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay, you want me to kick his ass or something?" I think he thought that would fix everything.

"No!"

"Well then what do you want?" We were yelling in the parking lot of my high school at that point. The same high school I might add that I still had to spend another 2 and a half years at.

"I want you to not be so intimidating that you scare people away!" People were staring. I was the quiet girl.

"It's not my fault you want some spineless douche!" I had heard enough. Ryan wasn't spineless but anyone who didn't hunt or know how to shoot a gun Dean saw as somehow lesser. I punched him in the face. There were several gasps from around me and I finally looked around me to see almost my whole school staring at me. I felt tears burn my eyes. Dean had finally moved and I crawled into the car, shrinking into myself.

"Just drive." I told Dean as he got into the car. We didn't speak for the 20 minute drive back to Bobby's.

When we finally pulled into the junkyard Dean turned off Baby and I made to unbuckle myself and make a hasty retreat to my room and never come out ever again. But before I could beat feet out of there, Dean pinned my arm to the seat back. I looked at him, my face most likely a complete mess.

"I'm sorry Lou. You didn't deserve that." I was about to say something like, thank you or I forgive you but he just kept talking. "You also don't deserve some spineless idiot who runs away from you."

I growled at him and wrenched my arm out of his grasp. I stormed out of the car and towards the house, slamming every door I encountered from the car to my room.

That was the last birthday I celebrated and the last time I was around any Winchester during the week of my birthday.

Lou's POV (Present)

That son of a bitch! That was all I could think the whole ride to the coroner's office. Sam had left and stolen the keys and Dean looked amused! He hadn't looked that amused since I was 15 and punched him in the face. He was a dick back then and he was a dick now and his younger brother was no different.

I remembered my vow of never being around them for my birthday ever again. Even when we were working together I would drive somewhere far away for a week and then pop back in as if nothing happened. When I turned 18 I was living with Bobby still. He got me Shelby for that birthday. The next day the Winchesters showed up after nearly a year away. I didn't wait around. I took off in my new car and came back four days later.

We finally got to the coroner's office and Dean was in the middle of picking the lock when I just simply opened the unlocked door. I shot him an annoyed look as he straightened like his body was trying to say, "I knew that."

When we walked in there was Sam and Charlie just standing there. Charlie looked uncomfortable in the horrible pant suit she had to wear. I also hated them. Sam looked sickly and that made me even more mad then I had been. He should be in bed, resting, getting better, not being stubborn and stupid and out and about looking for trouble.

"What took you so long?" Sam asked, condescending arrogant idiotic giant.

"Stopped for gas. Shut up. Body's in here." Dean motioned to the morgue. No one said anything to me, maybe because I couldn't look at Sam without thinking about punching him or taking him home and force feeding him chicken soup. Dean had trusted me for the first time in forever with his baby brother and the idiot had to run off and make me worry and look bad and worry.

In that moment light flowed through the window. It looked like headlights and out of reflex I ducked out of view. "What the hell?" I mumbled.

Suddenly the attractive redhead went running in the direction of the light.

Dean and I hissed, "Charlie. Charlie," as the same time. She didn't stop and gracelessly skidded around the corner.

One heartbeat, two, three, she came back around the corner. "It's the coroner. I got this," she assured us. That wasn't that reassuring but there was no time to object as she skidded away again. I groaned under my breath.

Left with nothing else to do we pushed our way into the spotless morgue.

Dean opened the body cooler thing that the victim was meant to be housed in but it was empty. "What the hell?" Dean asked. Then he looked over at Sam. "It's empty."

Sam looked through the paperwork he grabbed out of the big filing cabinet. "Uh... they burned the bodies."

"Already?" I asked raising an eyebrow. No one was this quick.

"Yeah, they think it's some kinda like, uh, outbreak scenario. Even got the CDC to sign off on it." Sam said still looking over the paperwork in order to avoid eye contact with me.

"These folks run a tight ship." Dean commented. It seemed they were both fine with avoiding the issue at hand.

"Damn it Sam!" I couldn't hold it in anymore. "You're sick and you ran off and you stole the keys to Shelby and you could have gotten hurt or worse and if this goes south did you think about anyone else. We can't rely on you like we usually do to have our backs and Charlie is new and I'm just back to better and you pull something this stupid?" I took a quick breath. "Not to mention when I got up to find that you weren't answering me I panicked. Full blown tear my hair out panic and what… I was just supposed to guess that you were fine and not lying with your head cracked open somewhere?"

Neither boy said anything. I knew my whole face was red. Then Sam finally broke the silence. "You're not my mom. If you had wanted to go out the last few weeks I wouldn't have stopped you but no you stayed in bed, because why? Because you and Dean have been dancing around each other for too long?" I couldn't move. He didn't say that. Not with Dean right there. Nope. I shook my head, tears burning in my eyes.

"So does this mean we need to take Silkwood showers now, or is this still a case?" I asked as if Sam hadn't said anything.

After a few really tense moments Sam finally nodded his giant head as if he were okay with us never speaking about the words that were just exchanged. "Yeah, something about that mark the kid saw rings a bell." He took a moment to take some pictures of the paperwork. "Probably have to check the lore, or maybe Dad's journal."

"Hurry up!" Dean snapped. I doubted he would be okay with dropping the whole argument as quickly and totally as I was. We got out of there quickly. We could hear Charlie talking as we shut the door silently behind us.

"I'll see you guys at the bunker," I said and put on the helmet, got onto the Harley and hauled ass out of there.

Dean's POV

"What the hell is wrong with you man?" I cursed at Sam, Lou speeding away.

He looked defensive which he only really looked like that when he knew he screwed up. "She was railing on me in there Dean. It was all pointless anyway, I'm here and fine and doing my job. I don't need either of you treating me like a child."

Now I wanted to punch him in the face. "Oh so it's fine to treat Lou like crap? What was the shit about her staying in bed for? She has extreme depressive episodes. You know that. What the hell dude?"

He looked apologetic. "Yeah I know." He sighed as Charlie finally came out of the coroner's office. "I'm sorry man."

I walked over to Baby. "I'm not the one who needs to hear that."

Back in the bunker, the air was tense. Lou had gotten out all the books that we might have needed before I got there, which meant she was speeding the whole way home. On a motorcycle that was too dangerous.

We were all sitting around one of the tables in the library, Lou taking a seat far from all of us, her feet up on the table.

"Leviathan," Sam suggested.

"No, they consume their prey." Charlie countered

"Well, maybe the vics were Leviathan," Sam tried.

"No black goo on either scene in the coroner reports." Charlie dashed his theory again.

"Dragons, they uh—"

Before he could even finish that thought Charlie was crossing it off her computer. "No signs of burns on the vics."

"I hate that thing." He did not. "I want one." I knew it.

"Wait a second," I interjected finding something in Dad's journal. "Djinn."

"Djinn vics don't get liquefied," Charlie pointed out.

Feeling proud that I finally found something the nerds didn't I chimed with, "No no no, not regular Djinn. According to this, there's a bastard offshoot. Uh, their eyes light up blue, they pass as humans, all that regular jazz, except these leave their victims with jelly-like insides, and supposedly, when they poison their victims, they leave behind a blue handprint." I slapped the cover of the journal feeling proud.

"I hate that thing, and I want one," Charlie said echoing Sam.

Lou finally spoke for the first time since we got back to the bunker. "So these things die like regular Djinn?"

I looked over at her. She looked pissed and sad all at the same time. I could almost feel her shutting down. "Silver blade dipped in lamb's blood, yeah. And now we just gotta find the asshat." She nodded slowly.

"Alright, well, breakthrough means snack time to me, and I wanna just stretch my legs. I will pick us up some grub, and unlike you, Sam, I will not forget the pie." Charlie alerted us as she made a swift exit.

I looked at Lou and then Sam after I heard the door close. "She seem a little off to you?"

It was Sam who answered. "Since the second she got here." Lou scoffed slightly as she cleaned the table of all the books. Sam sighed and put a hand on Lou's arm making her flinch. "Hey Lou, you know I didn't mean it right? I shouldn't have said anything at all and I'm sorry, I know you're just trying to look out for me."

Lou just nodded and flicked her glance quickly to me and blushed so hard that even her neck turned red. She kept her head low as she placed the books back on the table and moved quickly towards her room.

Sam looked at me and shrugged. "I tried man." I could have punched him for that.

"Yeah great work. I'll go get you your gold fucking star." I flipped him off as I followed Lou towards her room. I reached her as she was about to shut her door. "Hey Lou."

She looked at my chest, like she couldn't look in my eye or something. "Hey Dean."

"Can I come in?" I didn't want to push her but I didn't want her shutting down when we just got her back. She nodded and moved backwards until her legs hit her bed. Then she crawled onto her bed and held one of her many pillows to her chest. "Talk to me Sunshine. Don't shut me out."
She still wasn't looking at me when she said, "I don't want to be a virgin all my life." I didn't quite understand where that had come from.

"Okay…" I tried.

"I wanted it to be you…" she breathed. I didn't say anything, I didn't even move. Wanted. Past tense.

"And now?"

With that question her head snapped up. "Dean." It was a whisper, just a whisper.

"Sunshine I'm not a mind reader and feelings or emotions or crap like that, I'm no good at it so you got to use your worlds." I moved closer to the bed.

The blush on her cheeks spread again. "You don't like me. Not anymore. I think you liked me as more than a friend or whatever when I had my memories, but then I lost them and you were so mad at me for so long, and I don't know if anything has changed."

I had to let her know. I had to tell her that I wasn't mad at her. I had to tell her that having her live down the hall was a constant battle in self control not to climb into bed with her every night. I had to tell her that the sight of her in one of my shirts was the sexiest thing I had ever seen and she wasn't even trying to be sexy. I had to tell her that talking to her was my favorite part of the day. I had to tell her… I had to tell her that I really liked the pies she made.

"Dean?" It was a plea. She needed me to say something. I sat down at the edge of her bed. She moved the pillow away from her.

"Do you want me Lou?" I didn't like the hesitation in my voice. I didn't get nervous around chicks. But here I was sweating bullets like some 16 year old virgin at a school dance.

"Want you?" Her eyes got wide and she looked at me with that strange look like she couldn't quite believe the stupid that just came out of my mouth. I nodded. "Can I tell you something?" That. I just. Nodded. Quickly. "When I… um you know… take care of things myself…" she paused waiting for me to acknowledge that I did in fact know exactly what she was talking about. Baseball. Sam eating a salad. The cougars that chase after Sammy. "Well I always think about you." I swallowed. With the image of her getting off on just the thought of me was imprinted into my mind. I could feel my pants getting tight. Fuck. Cold shower. "Does that answer your question?" I nodded.

There was a long charged silence. I swallowed hard. I decided then that this question, no matter the answer, I'd be okay. "Do you just want me to, you know, take your uh virginity?" I looked up at her and her face broke my heart.

She shook her head. "I always thought that whoever I decided to, I just thought we would love each other." There were tears threatening to fall to her cheeks. I put a hand on her face. Fuck. Don't fuck this up.

"Sunshine, I can wait if that's what you want." She looked at me for a long time, her eyes not leaving mine. Then without warning, she leaned forward on her knees and her lips were on mine. It was soft and sweet, like her. My hands trailed from her face to her waist. Pulling slightly. She moved on her knees to where I was then slowly, never taking her mouth off mine, she sung one leg over my lap and then she was straddling me.

She broke away quickly, her eyes wide. She looked down at herself like she couldn't believe this was her, that this was happening and I couldn't believe it either.

Then just as quickly as it started, she jumped off me like I was on fire. She slammed her back into the wall behind her and her eyes darted towards the door. "I'm gonna go um, I'm gonna shower." She pointed towards the door as she spoke. Then she sprinted out of the room. There I was, on her bed, hard, confused, happy, slightly pissed at myself for whatever I did to scare her off, and utterly unable to move.

Hiya so Yeah that happened... haha... blush slightly... I don't own supernatural just Lou and the plot... Please tell me what you think... yeah slight embarrassment about this last little part. Mostly because This is my first fanfic and this is my first hotish scene and so I don't know how it went because I'm just the writer, it always looks so different in my head.