Chapter 9
Waking up the next morning, I have my back to Happy and he has his arms around me. I just lay there and enjoy it. I'm not stupid. I know he'll get tired of me before too long. I'm still thinking about getting the divorce when this is done. All I'll ever be is property. I feel him stir next to me and he kisses my shoulder, and I turn to face him. I snuggle into his chest and he kisses the top of my head. "Morning babe." he says and I don't say anything, just try to snuggle closer. He tilts my head up to look at him and asks "You okay babe?" I nod my head and try to bury my head in his chest but he doesn't let me. "Talk to me little girl. No more of this hiding shit." he says softly. "Happy, you say you want this now but what happens when you decide you want to go back to how things were before? What happens when you decide that I'm nothing more than property?" I ask. Kissing me softly he says "Stop. You're not property and you won't ever be again. You're my wife. My Old Lady. You're the one that I am spending the rest of my life with. We won't be going back to that shit before. I don't need or want those whores. I want my wife. I love you little girl." he tells me and all I can do is look into his eyes. "Happy…" I start. "I mean it. I love you." he says before pulling me closer and just holding me.
A little later he says "Let's go to the diner." I shake my head and say "I'll cook something." I tell him. "No. I want to take my wife out." he tells me and I just shake my head and walk to the kitchen. He follows me. "Talk to me babe." he says and I just shake my head. "Baby, I can't fix this if you don't talk to me. Please." he pleads. I don't look at him and say "I don't know how to do this Happy. Part of me wants to be with you make this work but then the other part of me is having problems getting out of that mindset. I've spent most of my life being someone's property and believing that the only thing I was good for was helping a man get off." I tell him. "Baby, I know it's going to take time. It's not something that's going to happen overnight but we will get there...together." he tells me. He kisses me softly and says "Get dressed so I can take my wife to breakfast." he tells me softly and I nod. "I promise I'm trying." I tell him. "I know baby." he tells me.
After breakfast, we head home and he takes me to Gemma's house. "What are we doing here?" I ask. "You and Gemma are having a girls day. Lyla and Tara are already here." he tells me. I look at him shocked and he hands me a bundle of cash. "Happy…" I start. "I want you to go out with the girls and so shopping. Get what you want. Get some new clothes. Get your hair done. Get some makeup. Whatever you want. Whatever you need to feel better. I want you to know that you get to make your own decision from now on. You're no one's property but your own. But I am calling you mine." he says before kissing me softly and I see Gemma and the girls come walking out of her house. "Thank you Happy." he says. "Go. Have fun. I love you." he tells me. I kiss him softly and say "I promise I'll get there." He smiles and says "I know."
We head out to the little shops in town and I tell Gemma and the girls "I don't even know where to start. I've always been told what to wear and how to look. I don't know how to decide what look I want." I tell them. "Well, let's start looking at pants first. See what fits you right and go from there." Gemma tells me and I nod. By the time we leave, I have more than a dozen new outfits, including shoes and accessories. "Where to next?" I ask. "Let's get you some makeup and then go get your hair done. Happy's not going to be able to keep his hands off of you." Gemma tells me and I smile softly. "Have you and him….?" she starts asking and I nod my head yes. "Good baby." she says. "Yes. It was. Before him, I'd never been with anyone where it wasn't forced so it was amazing." I tell them. "I'm sensing a but." Lyla says. "I'm just worried. Since I was fourteen, I have never been anything but property and been nothing more than a way for men to get off. It's taking me a little bit to get out of that mindset. I'm really trying. I'm really wanting this to work and he then he's telling me loves me and…" I get cut off. "Wait. He told you he loves you?" Tara asks. "Yeah." I tell her. "What did you tell him?" she asks. "I told him that I'm not there yet." I tell her. "But you are." Gemma says and I nod my head yes. "Then tell him." Lyla says. "It's not that easy. What if he changes his mind? What if he realizes he wants to go back to the croweaters? I can't let myself get hurt any more than I have." I tell them. "He's not going to change his mind. Happy doesn't just throw that word around. If he's telling you he loves you, then honey he loves you. He's not going to change his mind. He's not going to go back to them. He's yours honey." Gemma tells me. "My heart's there. How do I get my mind there?" I ask. "How about this? Look, we'll all be here to talk when you need it but one weekend a month, we'll go to the cabin for some much needed girl time and therapy. I think the three of us will be able to help you. I understand the life of being and Old Lady. Lyla understands the physical part of it and I'm sure Tara can help with the mental part of it." Gemma says and they all nod. "Really?" I ask. "Baby, you're one of us now. We got you." she tells me and I have to fight off the tears. "I bet if you tell him how you feel, you'll see just how devoted he is." Lyla tells me and I think about what she says.
After shopping, getting hair and makeup done, we head home. Walking into the house, Happy is on the couch watching tv and I carry the bags into the bedroom and put them in the closet. I turn around and Happy is standing there. "You look amazing." he tells me. "Thank you." I say. I walk over to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands go to my hips. I kiss him softly and say "Thank you for today." He pulls me closer and says "Are you feeling better?" I nod and say "We think we figured out how to help me get to where I need to be." I say. "How's that?" he asks as he leads me to the bed and sits down and pulls me into his lap. "Gemma suggested one weekend a month, us going to the cabin and having a weekend just us girls for our own version of therapy." I tell him. "That's a good idea. Are you okay with it?" he asks. "I'm willing to do anything at this point but they did give me some good advice today." I tell him. "Good." he says. I kiss him softly and say "Happy?" He looks into my eyes and I say "I love you." He smiles wide and says "I love you too little girl." before kissing me softly and for the first time in my life, I feel like I am going to be okay.