This picks up after episode 5.7. Such a painful episode! Hope you enjoy.
He lay awake much of the night. How could he sleep? He's most likely lost the love of his life. There was not a lot to do now but pray. Pray to a God he didn't believe in. He sighed and looked at his watch, squinting to see the time. Four thirty. He lay on his back staring at the ceiling, blinking every so often. Probably as good a time as any to take a walk. He got up and dressed. By the time he reached the kitchen, his energy seemed to have been depleted. He sat down heavy onto a chair at the table. He thought about his actions and everyone that had been affected by it. He had to fix it but he didn't know how. Besides, that's how he got into this mess in the first place. He had his elbows on the table, head in his hands, staring down.
That's where he was when Jean found him. She startled when she turned on the lights. "Lucien!" She grabbed her chest. "You scared me. What are you doing sitting in the dark?"
He didn't look at her, just continued staring at the table. She heard him softly say, "I'm sorry, Jean." If it were not for the hour of day, she might not have heard him. He looked dejected and rather pitiful. There was a part of her, the exceedingly irate part of her, that felt he deserved to be. But her heart ached for him. She did not like seeing him like this. As much as he hurt her, she did not take joy in it. She was quite certain his apology was not for scaring her as he probably didn't even hear her.
She sighed and pulled a chair close to Lucien's chair so that her leg was touching his when she sat down. She could see the tear stains on his face and his eyes still had water not shed. She realized he still thought she was leaving him. "Lucien, I'm not going anywhere. I'm cross, but I'm not leaving you."
He looked at her quickly, mouth agape for a spell before he spoke, just barely above a whisper. "You didn't say you love me."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
He looked down at his hands on the table. "I asked you if…you knew that I loved you and you said yes. Then you walked out of the room."
She is not a violent person, but never before had she felt the need or want to slug someone so much. How could he possibly question her love for him? "For someone that is so brilliant-" She took a deep breath. "Lucien, I wouldn't still be here if I didn't love you. Especially now. I am mad as hell at you!" She grabbed his cheek to turn him to look at her. "But I love you too. Never, ever, doubt that."
It was like what she said had finally gotten through to him. He gave her a watery half smile and turned back to look at his hands. "I'm so sorry, Jean. I try to make things better and only make them worse. I end up hurting those I love the most. You, Matthew…" He took a deep breath and rubbed his face, effectively wiping his eyes. "You're all ever so patient with me. I don't deserve you."
She could see the regret on his face as he lowered his head to her shoulder. Jean's arms went around him. "Lucien, you're a good man. You would do anything for us and we know it. We need you to listen to us. If you don't, at least tell me you didn't so that we can fix it before it all blows up."
"I almost told you so many times. I just wanted to end this divorce quickly. Any other way would have taken so long to finish."
"Well, we'll never know now, will we?" Her tone was very sharp. He couldn't blame her. She didn't want to be angry with him. She tried to suppress it. She lowered her head so it was resting on his and closed her eyes. They stayed like that for a while. She broke the silence. "How about some breakfast?"
He lifted his head shook it. "No, I'm not hungry." He raised his hand to her cheek, caressing it. His voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you, Jean."
She smiled warmly. "Then back to bed. You look dreadful." She got up and held a hand out for him.
He felt dreadful. He took her hand with a half smile and pulled her in for a hug. He held her tightly then allowed her to lead him to his room. When he gave her a questioning look, she answered, "Charlie and Matthew have been trying to avoid us. They will be pleased to fend for themselves. We need sleep." He removed his shoes and sweater. She took off her gown and stripped him of his shirt. She got into bed first and held out her arm for him. He slipped in and lay his head on her chest, rubbing her belly and hip. She was stroking his back. She kissed his head and intertwined her fingers with his at her hip. "Sleep, Lucien." He squeezed her fingers lightly.