Chapter 17
Waking up the next morning, I am snuggled into Happy's chest and his arms are around me. I feel him start to stir and hear him say "Morning Mama." I smile and say "Morning Daddy." I look up at him and he kisses me softly. All of a sudden I jump up and run to the bathroom, closing the door. "You okay babe." he asks through the door. Once I empty my stomach, I rinse my mouth and gargle mouthwash before opening the door and seeing him standing there, worried. "I'm fine baby. Morning sickness. It's perfectly normal." I tell him. "How's that normal?" He asks and I can see how concerned he is. "Tara said in the mornings my hormone levels are higher so it upsets my stomach." I tell him. "You sure?" he asks. I kiss him softly and wrap my arms around his middle, putting my head on his chest and say "Yes baby. I'm sure." I look up at him and say "But now your kid's hungry." He starts laughing and says "Get dressed. We'll hit the diner." I lean up and kiss him again and get dressed for the day.
Pulling up at the diner, we go inside and start placing our order. "I'll have the lumberjack breakfast with coffee and orange juice." he says. The waitress looks at me and I say "I'll have a ham and cheese omelette, side of bacon, hashbrowns and bowl of fruit please with chocolate milk." I say and she looks at me surprised. "Honey, where are you going to put all that?" she asks. I rub my stomach and say "Eating for two." She smiles and says "Congrats." before walking away to place our order. I look up at Happy and see him looking at me. "What's on your mind babe?" I ask. "Are you happy? About the baby?" he asks. "What? Of course I am. A little scared I'm gonna screw the kid up but I'm happy baby. Are you?" I ask. "Hell yeah. Wish ma could have been here to see me get married and meet the kid but yeah, I'm happy." I say. He reaches across the table and takes my hand. Leaning forward, he kisses my knuckles before the waitress walks over with our food.
After we eat, we head to the clubhouse to hang out since we are both off work today. Pulling up in my car with him behind me on his bike, he gets off his bike and I get out of my car. Walking over, he kisses me softly before lacing his fingers with mine and we walk into the clubhouse. "How's it going?" Tig asks as we walk up. "Good brother. Real good." Happy says before pulling me closer and Tig just smiles. Jax comes over and says "Can I get a minute brother?" Happy kisses me softly and heads over to the side to talk to Jax. "We got a problem. That croweater you were hooking up with before is telling everyone that she's pregnant and that it's yours." he says. "Shit." Happy says and looks over at me. "What are you going to do?" Jax asks. "I gotta tell my Old Lady. Fuck." Happy says before walking over to me. He runs his hand down his face and says "We need to talk." We head to the dorm and he closes the door. "What's wrong?" I ask him. He moves over to sit beside me on the bed and takes my hand, lacing our fingers. "Remember that gash I was hooking up with when we first got married?" he asks and I nod my head. "She's saying she's knocked up and that it's mine." he says. I pull my hand from his and ask "Is it?" He doesn't look at me but says "I don't know. I gotta talk to her and find out how far along she is but it's possible." he tells me. I stand up and don't look at him. "I'll get Gemma to take me home." I say softly. "Babe…" he says but I stop him. "Just find out if it's yours." I say before walking out of the room.
I walk out of the main room and over to Gemma. "Can you give me a ride home?" I ask. "Sure baby." she says before we head out to her SUV. "What's going on?" she asks me. The tears start to fall and I ask "Why can't I just be fucking happy? Gash he was hooking up with when we got married saying she's knocked up and saying it's Happy's. Told him to find out. I can't be around him Gemma. I can't do this." I say as the tears start to fall. "We'll take you to the house to get you a few things and you can stay at my house for the night. Might do you some good to get away from things for a minute." she tells me. "Thank you Gemma." I say, wiping the tears away.
After packing an overnight bag, we head to Gemma's. "You need to let him know you're staying here for a couple of days." she tells me. "I know." I tell her. "I'll step out here and call him." I tell her, heading to the back deck. I unlock my phone and call his number. "Hey babe. Where are you?" he asks. "I'm at Gemma's. I think I'm going to stay here a couple of days. Figure out my next step." I say. "Next step? What the fuck does that mean?" he asks getting mad. "Happy, you just told me that you may have gotten someone else pregnant. You can't blame me for wanting to distance myself a little. I don't know how to process this shit." I tell him. "Fuck. I don't want to lose you." he tells me. "This doesn't mean you're losing me. I just need some time to process this." I tell him. "I talked to the gash. Says she's five months. That could make it mine. Won't know until the kid gets here." he tells me. "Okay. So what do we do?" I ask. "All I can do is wait until the kid is here and get the paternity test." he tells me. "What about her medical bills?" I ask. "Until I get the paternity test, I'm ain't paying shit." he tells me. "I need to go." I tell him before hanging up the phone. I collapse on the deck and sob. Gemma comes running outside and just holds me. "Hey...it's okay baby. I got you. It's going to be okay." she says. When I get myself together, I see Jax standing there. "Come on Darlin." he tells me as he helps me up and helps me inside.
That night, I am laying in bed when my phone rings. "Hello." I say, not looking at the caller ID. "Hey little girl." Happy says. "Hey." I say simply, still feeling numb. "Are you okay?" he asks. "I'm fine." I say. "Have you ate?" he asks. "I'm fine, Happy. What do you need?" I ask. "I need my wife to come home." he says. "When I come home, I'm moving into the guest room until we figure this shit out." I tell him. "Clara, please…" He starts. "Happy, I can't do this. I can't. I just want to concentrate on the baby. I don't want to think about things with us. I can't." I tell him and the tears start to fall again. "I love you Clara." he says. "That's not enough anymore." I tell him before ending the call. I lay down on the bed and start to sob. When I get myself calmed down, I dry my face and just lay in bed feeling numb again.
The next morning, I get up and head downstairs. "Morning baby. How are you feeling?" she asks. "I'm okay." I tell her emotionlessly. "You should talk to him." she tells me. "I talked to him last night and told him I'm moving back into the guest room until we figure this shit out. I can't do this anymore. It seems like just when things start going good for me, something happens to fuck it all up. I'm not meant to be happy." I say. "Yes you are. Just let him handle this." she tells me. "He's the one that got himself into this. I think I'm going to head home." I tell her, knowing it's only about a ten minute walk from her house.
Walking into the house, I take my things to the guest room. Walking into the master, I get my things and move them to the guest room and close the door. I hear the front door open and close and hear him walking through the house. I hear a knock on the guest room door before he opens it. "Hey." He says. "Hey." I say but don't look at him. "Can we talk?" he asks. "Nothing to talk about. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Noon." I tell him. "I'll be there." he says. "When is Marley's?" I ask. "Don't know. Don't care." he tells me. "There's a chance that's your child, Happy. You can't neglect the baby because of the Mama." I tell him. "Not neglecting. Gemma's going with her. Going to make sure everything is what she says it is." he tells me. "Okay." I say. "I love you." he says. I shake my head and say "Please don't do that. Until you find out if that baby is yours, we don't have anything to talk about but the baby." I tell him. "Damn it Clara, you're my wife. I fucking love you." he tells me, frustrated. My emotions finally getting the best of me, I start yelling. "God damnit Happy. She got you when we got married. It was supposed to be me. Not her. She will have her baby before I will. I was supposed to have your child. Your first born. Not her. But she is. She got everything with you before me. How is that fair? What did I do to make everything in my life just shit on me like I don't fucking matter? Maybe I don't. Fuck. The only thing keeping me from completely ending shit is this baby. I'm supposed to be able to enjoy being pregnant knowing that we're having a baby. But I can't even do that because you wanted anyone other than me. I can't do this Happy. I can't handle this shit." I tell him as the tears start to fall. He moves to hold me and I push him away. "Don't. Just go back to Marley." I say before walking out of the room and to the back deck. He follows me out there and grabs my hand. Pulling me close, he cups my face and makes me look at him. "I'm not letting you push me away. I'm not losing my wife or my kid. We will find out if that kid is mine or not but I'm not letting you walk away from me. You're my wife and my Old Lady. You're it for me Clara." he says before crashing his lips to mine. When we come up for air, there are tears in both of our eyes.