Okay, she never thought it was going to be easy. She'd seen women in labor before, like on movies and stuff. And she spent days in the hospital, listening to women giving birth. But fuck, shit, damn it, nothing could have prepared her for this.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

"That is it, you have to push!"

"I'M FUCKING PUSHING!"

"Come on, babe, do it one more time!"

"Shut-" A scream ripped through her throat as she freaking pushed again, and oh my God, "Why this fucker doesn't fucking leave alrea-"

She was screaming again. Because it hurt. It hurt like losing her virginity one thousand times worse.

"One more push, I can see his head."

"Do you see the horns? Because it's a little devil that-"

"You are almost there."

Another scream, the loudest, the longest, just like in the movies - she guessed they did that part right.

And then silence.

"Is he out?" It wasn't hurting so bad anymore, so he had to be out. But why wasn't he crying?

As if on cue, a loud cry replaced her as the desperate being in the room.

"Strong pair of lungs, this one," Her doctor said, "Do you want to see your little bundle of joy?"

Little bundle of joy? Emma wanted to scoff. But then she saw him.

"What the fuck…" Seriously. Those were her first words, because all of a sudden, all of those clichés were right, and it was like she had never loved before meeting him, just learning what love truly meant when she saw his little face and counted his five tiny fingers in each hand, and saw how he was absolutely perfect. Tears streamed down her face.

"You really shouldn't curse in front of the baby, babe."

She didn't need to look at Neal to know he was crying too. He spoke in that rough-I'm-a-man-but-I'm-crying voice.

"Shut up, he almost torn my vagina, I get to curse if I want to."

He didn't seem to know how to argue with that.

"Dad, do you want to cut the umbilical cord?"

Emma had forgotten about the doctor. Neal almost stumbled as he moved forward to cut it.

"He looks like a little knee," Emma said kindly, the salt of her tears wetting her mouth.

Neal giggled, already by her side, "A little knee?"

"Yeah, a wrinkled little knee," Emma retorted, looking adoringly at her son. Her son!

"A beautiful little wrinkled knee," Neal pointed out.

"That he is," She agreed happily.

But then they were taking him, they were taking Henry away.

"Hey!" She wanted to get up and fight. What was going on?

"I'm sorry, we have to check him up," The nurse said.

Well, she still wanted to get up and fight, "Where are you taking my fucking little bundle of joy?!"

"It's okay, Ems, they're going to see if everything is alright."

She nodded, begrudged, and that was the moment panic started to appear. Were they going to raise him right? Were they ready to be parents? Damn, she was only eighteen, how was she going to afford everything? What if something happened to him? What if something happened to her? Would Neal manage everything? What if she messed him up, and he turned out to be a criminal? She thought about all of those things a hundred times, but now it seemed so much more real. Damn, it was real. So real.

"Neal," She whispered. "What about now?" The fear had to be evident on her voice.

"Now we work it out," He was trying to stay positive, and Emma loved him for it. She didn't answer, and he sighed loudly, wiping the sweat out of her forehead before trying again: "I don't know, babe, but everything happens for a reason, right?"

~SQ~

"Sweetie, are you even listening to me?"

Regina wanted to sneer something in return.

"Mass Gen accepted my transference," She said instead of that something not so particularly polite.

"What now?!" Katherine popped one fry in her mouth and Regina frowned. "Transference?
What are you talking about?"

"Why are you stress eating?" She asked, trying to grasp any recollection of distress in Katherine's oh-so-perfect life in her mind. There was none. The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. Katherine was a newlywed. Married the new hot doctor in the Trauma department. Prince Charming, was what practically the whole hospital called him in delighted whispers.

"Don't change the subject again," Katherine retorted with that aggravated sigh she did so well. "What is this transference thing?"

"Well, dear, I saw the opening, applied and sent a whole bunch of reference letters. Gold seemed all too eager to provide me ones. The man is paranoid, thinks I'm a spy of my-" She would say the word, she almost said it. But somehow it got stuck around her tongue, like a knot. "He seems to believe I'm Cora's spy, but I don't even know where she is. Probably tearing people's hearts apart in the gates of hell." Regina spat, and she could see how it took Katherine by surprise.

More than a year had passed since Cora had vanished, and Regina never spoke of her again,
and would send death glares to anyone who tried to approach the subject with her, so.

"Well, Mass Gen is not all that."

It was all that. The top one surgery program in the country.

She shot Katherine a skeptical look.

"Well," Katherine started again with exasperation, "People in Massachusetts are tacky! They have lots of lobsters and snowball fights… you hate those."

"I'll try not to get too offended by their poor fashion choices. I could eat lobster and I plan on working at the hospital during winter."

Katherine sighed again. "I'll miss you."

Would Regina miss her too? She probably would. Katherine was her only friend, so, in the end of the day she had to miss her, right?

"Why are you stress eating?" She repeated the question in a smooth, but final tone. They were done talking about Mass Gen and missing people.

Katherine looked at her disbelievingly, "Sweetie, what planet are you living on?"

Regina sent her way one of her infamous death glares and Katherine clarified. "They are going to announce who is Chief resident today after-", the blonde glanced at her watch before getting up abruptly, "lunch – shit!"

It was much later that Regina decided to check the board. She wasn't particularly interested or curious. She was leaving anyway.

So, she was on her way home when she stopped by. It had to be Katherine. She would murder someone if it was Mary Margaret. She didn't care who. Just… preferably not a patient. Or a nurse. For some reasons, nurses seemed to respect her most out of all residents. It couldn't be her, because she had spoken to Gold about leaving, so…

"What the hell?!" She exclaimed as she read: Chief Resident: Regina Mills.

What kind of sick games the new Chief of Surgery was playing with her? Why giving her references to go to Mass Gen and then appoint her as Chief Resident?

Was that to test her will? Her resolution? Or to play with her loyalties? Or to offer her something he knew she wouldn't get at Mass Gen? Because no way she would be well received and appointed Chief Resident when she was just filling in for one of theirs that had, apparently, tragically died after saving twelve kids from a bus that caught fire. Was Gold trying to make her stay, after all that trouble he had to make sure she'd get the spot? Or he was just a creepy old crazy neurosurgeon?

Regina wanted to go. So bad. To go and never look back.

But now she couldn't. Because her career was at stake, and that was the only thing she had
left. That was the only promise she could keep out of the whole bunch of happy ones she vowed as a kind and excited intern.

She owed the doctor she aspired to be to accept the job of Chief Resident. And she owed the intern she once was to stay.

She had to find some kind of reason in that. It was the only way she could cope.

~SQ~

Her hands shook so hard holding the letter she could barely read the words. Not that she needed to read it again. She knew what it said. She knew it, but she wanted to be sure. She wanted to have her eyes checked, if she could, but re-reading would have to be enough for now. If she just stoped fucking shaking!

"What does it say?" Neal pressed, trying to peek over her shoulder. Emma folded the paper, still trembling. "Oh, come on! We want to know. Don't we, Henry? Tell your mom we want to know."

"Mommy!" He yelled brightly, his little arms reaching forward to her hair. Neal yanked him away just in time, and the boy giggled in his dad's arms.

"Come on," Neal went on, searching for her eyes. "It's not your last chance anyway, is it? You applied for at least two more, right?"

Emma didn't answer. Her mouth tasted like a hungover. Though it was crazy that she remembered how a hungover tasted like; she hadn't had one in years. Since she found out about being pregnant, really. Then she was breastfeeding, and then… she just didn't have the time. She had a fucking baby, and high school to finish. Well, that part was over now, and that surely deserved a drink or ten, but she still had the baby. And now…

"I'm in," She whispered more to herself, savoring the words, trying to believe them.

"What?"

"I'm in, fuck! Look," She held out the letter, the words printed there the most beautiful she had ever read. We are pleased to inform that you have been accepted…

"No shit!" Neal exclaimed, making Henry pop his eyes in alarm. "You're going to med school!"

"Pre-med, actually."

"You're going to pre-med school! See that, Henry? Your mom's gonna be a doctor!"

"I'll be drowning in student loans," She pointed out.

"You'll be a doctor, you'll be rich."

"If I can make it to med school, that is."

"Of course you'll make it, you're a genius," Neal placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it, his other arm still holding their baby.

They hadn't been intimate in more than an year, and Emma knew he sometimes went out with the girl next door. They never talked about it, what she guessed was weird, but it was just how it went… They weren't together anymore, but they couldn't be apart yet. They had Henry, and were both still figuring out how to manage that, even three years later. And, well, Emma had this dream… It should be feeling less like a dream now, with that letter crumpled in her hand, but instead it felt more.

"It's in Portland, it's too far…"

"What's holding us here, anyway? We'll go to Portland."

"What if we can't get jobs there?"

"You're kidding me, right? You think we have more chances in Storybrooke? Portland is a big city, we'll figure it out."

"I don't think I'll have time for a job, Neal! It will be pre-med school!" She shouted, her heart racing. He was doing it again, that thing he did, promising everything was going to be alright when he had no way to know it. Neal was a dreamer, that's what he was, but Emma was the one who went and made things alright. And this? She could not make this work out, and she had no idea why she bothered trying.

"Oh, well," He patted away a little hand trying to grab his beard, a stunned look on his face. "I can work double shifts."

"Oh, yeah? And who'll take care of Henry, then?"

"A nanny?" He tried.

"How will we afford a nanny? In Portland! You know what?" Emma kneaded the paper in her hand into a ball and threw it on the kitchen's bin. "That was fun, but it was just… a fantasy. I'm through with high school, I'll get a job and-"

"Emma."

"Mommy," Henry chipped in.

"I'm not a dreamer," She said, shaking her hand.

"I know that. That's why I don't think this is a fantasy. You didn't dream about this, you planned. You worked your ass off, woman!" He squeezed her shoulder again and pulled her in for a hug. Henry threw himself at her, making Emma gasp and catch him by instinct. "We'll sit down and plan again. We'll figure it out. I know it's scary, but we're not giving up, ok?"

"I can't ask you to move…"

"You didn't ask, did you?"

"But…"

"But what? We're a family. You're going to be a doctor."

"I don't know, Neal. That's pretty cool when you see it on TV, right, the teen mom that got to Seattle Hospital, and could also be a model, because why not! But me? Shit, I don't have the money, and I have the kid… What if it's not meant to be-?" Henry's chubby hand landed on her lips, sticky as babies' hands always were, shutting her up. His dark brown eyes stared at her, and he beamed, his cheeks so adorably pink Emma felt her heart swelling.

"Mommy." He declared. And that was that.

~SQ~

He looked so handsome standing there in the altar, Regina had to smile. Like Mal had said when she showed them the ring, she could have done worst. Robin was a good man, a handsome, strong man. And he was about to become her man.

The smile faltered for a moment.

When did that become the plan?

Regina shook her head slightly, feeling suddenly lost in time. It felt like not so long ago, she was making plans with someone else. Big, wonderful plans. She was sharing a bed with Daniel, she cooked, he washed the dishes. They had a cat for a couple of months, or something like that - the pussy came and went into their backyard as it pleased. But they had named it. The cat. And the baby. They discussed names for the baby, too. And they talked about marriage.

But it wasn't Daniel standing there, it was another man. And for that second, just that second, it felt wrong, and crazy, ludicrous even that Regina was walking the aisle towards someone that was not Daniel. How could she had ever agreed to that?

Then she remembered. She remembered Robin's laugh, and the way his hands felt on her shoulders. She remembered Venice, and his kisses, and the promise of not being alone anymore. Above all, she remembered Daniel was gone, and wouldn't come back. And that she was still here, couldn't seem to change that, so she had to move on.

Robin was tearing up when she reached him at the altar, and Regina found her eyes blurring too. Around them, echoed the shuffling of roughly fifty people sitting down again in their chairs. It was a small, intimate wedding on a spring afternoon; a breeze played along her veil and she close her eyes for a second, letting a tear drop.

Robin wiped it with his thumb, delicately. "You look so beautiful when you cry," He whispered in her ear, before the priest started talking.

After that day, Regina would trick herself into believing she had misheard it, that he had said "even when you cry", trying to be nice. But it wasn't that, was it? No, it wasn't. Yet how was she supposed to believe that a man who appreciated seeing her cry was going to make her happy?

"After I lost my parents, I felt very lonely," Robin started his vowels, his hand holding hers. "And I would pray to God for something that changed that, that turned my life around. So, after a few months, guess who I meet at a bar?" He smiled, raising a few light chuckles. "You're my best friend, my lover, the partner I asked to God. I know we'll be better together, and I'm so happy we found each other. I love you."

There was a muffled round of sighs as he beamed at the bride and slid the ring into her finger. Regina took a shallow breath before starting.

"I've...seen a lot of hearts. They're just this delicate, small thing, fits the palm of your hand. And it's supposed to keep your whole body going. Keep the blood pumping, the oxygen flowing, the toxins out… It just… When you look at it, it doesn't seem possible. Like one day it didn't seem possible I'd be here, in front of our friends and family, with the man I love, starting something so new. But you, D-" Her heart skipped a beat, less than a second, time stopped, and then she went on, "Robin, you are my heart. What keeps me going, what keeps me warm, and centered, and what keeps the bad things out. You bring me life. And I fit so well in your hands… I hope you always keep me there."

The ring slipped into his finger with such ease it was disconcerting. And then it was done. The priest announced it. They were husband and wife.

It wasn't until they were walking their way back the aisle, arm in arm, that Regina spotted her. Almost in the last row, dressed in a dark color that wasn't adequate for a spring wedding. It was a shade of blue that would fit in a funeral.

"Honey? Are you alright?" Robin asked when Regina pressed his arm harder, a pang of migraine shooting immediately behind her eyes. "What is it?"

"My mom is here," She replied in a whisper.

She hadn't seen Cora Mills in years, and they barely talked besides in hollydays or birthdays. Since Cora had left the hospital, the city, the state, for that matter, it had been much easier for Regina to pretend the woman wasn't part of her life anymore. There was never a wedding invitation in her name. Yet there she was.

"Oh, my dear, aren't you gorgeous," Cora chirped when it came her turn to congratulate the young couple. Regina felt her hands dampened with cold sweat, and hated herself for it.

"Mother," She greeted through her teeth. "Meet Robin Hood, my...husband."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Mills."

"What a darling man." Cora enveloped him in a hug, her eyes fixing Regina over his shoulder. "It's an abomination that we haven't met before."

"How did you know about the wedding?" Regina questioned sharply, ignoring Robin's touch in her elbow.

"I still have friends in this town, Regina. You certainly didn't expect it not to get to me."

"I didn't expect you to come."

"Oh, how could I not? My only daughter is getting married, I wouldn't miss it! Even if my invitation got lost in the mail," Cora drawled, staring at her daughter solemnly.

"There was nothing to be lost-"

"Regina," Robin whispered in her ear. "Please, it's our wedding."

"Of course, honey," She turned to him, forcing a smile. "Could you please get me a glass of champagne? There's something stuck in my throat."

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Can I get you anything too, Mrs. Mills?"

"Don't bother," Regina meddled in. "I'm sure she won't stay long."

Robin gave her another warning look, which Regina ignored, patting his shoulder until he walked away.

"That is no way to treat your mother, Regina Mills!"

"Hood. It's Regina Hood, now," She corrected, glaring at the woman, though it wasn't even true.

"Are you taking his name? Why would you do that? Do you know what the name Mills means in our work environment, the legacy I built to you?"

"To me?" Regina chuckled bitterly.

"Stop that!" Cora demanded, and Regina found herself going silent immediately. She felt like a tamed, caged animal, wild enough to know it shouldn't obey, but scarred enough to do so anyway. "Why wouldn't you invite your own mother to your wedding? Do you know how shameful it was to hear about it through the grapevines?"

"I didn't want you here, jinxing it!"

"Oh, for God's sake, Regina. Be a grown up. What did I ever do to jinx you?"

"You know what you did. Last time you showed up unwanted and meddled in with the man I loved..."

"I did my best that day, as I always do. I did my best with you, tried to bring the best out of you, too, and that's how you repay me?"

"You killed him, mom!"

"Shut up," Cora hissed, shaking her head, her dark eyes glowing in that dangerous way that always had Regina running to hide behind her father's legs, as a child. She would gladly do that in that moment, too, if it were possible. It wasn't. "Don't you ever say that again. It isn't true, and it's childish of you to say it. Unprofessional, even. Not to mention unfair. You are married now, aren't you? Don't you love this man? This Robin? Isn't he good to you?"

"Of course I love him."

"Good for you, then. Stop moaning about the past all the time, nobody can stand it anymore, Regina. You found yourself a man, you got him to marry you, so there you go. Sometimes things happen for a reason. Be glad for what you've got. That includes me, your loving, caring mother."

"Hey, here it is," Robin approached them, holding out a glass of champagne.

"Thank you, dear," Cora said, snapping it from his hand before Regina could open her mouth. "I'll go say hi for a few acquaintances. Enjoy your party!"

"Oh, ahm, thanks," He murmured, gaping a little as the older woman walked away. "Sorry, darling, I should have brought two…"

Regina exhaled sharply and patted his hand, "It's ok. I need something stronger, anyway."

~SQ~

"What do you mean, he stays?" Emma hissed, pacing the floor while Neal watched her peacefully from the couch.

"Come on, Emms," He said, shrugging. "It's pretty logical. You didn't expect me to quit my job, did you? I'm actually making money there now!"

"Of course I didn't!" She spat back, turning to face him. "I know you gotta be here, but Henry is coming with me."

"Oh, right." Neal leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and staring at her. Emma didn't like that look, and she didn't like that tone. "You barely had time for him in med school, how do you think you're gonna manage him and a surgical internship? Without me around?"

"I'll figure it out."

"You won't figure it out," Neal argued, his voice sounding harsher every time. Emma really didn't like this tone. "He's not a baby anymore. He's got school, and friends, and he needs stability now. We can't keep moving him around, making it up as we go. That's over."

"I will not be away from my son," Emma pronounced every word as if it hurt. Maybe because it did hurt. Neal rolled his eyes.

"You should have thought of that before you took up a position in Storybrooke."

It felt like a slap in the face, and Emma had to avert her eyes. "You know I didn't have a choice!"

She had applied to every surgical program in Portland, and the ones closer to it. But she had been accepted in none, but one in Alaska. Her fucking safety choice. That was all she got. The failure had tasted as bitter as the vodka she used to try and swallow it. Emma knew it would be hard, and she was no bright student with bright schools and accomplishments in her resumée. People had told her she had to please this or that teacher, but she never had the time for that. They also told her that the best jobs always went to the heirs of some grand Dr. Badass, and well… Emma was kinda missing in the parents side. So yeah, she got nothing.

And then this kind of miracle happened, and she got a call. Someone had given up, dropped dead, left the country - it didn't matter. She got a call, asking her if she was still interested. A call from Storybrooke Hospital. Just one of the best surgical programs in the country. One in which she never thought she had a chance, to begin with. And damn, it wasn't in Alaska. It was in Maine, it was still in fucking Maine.

"You know I was so ready to give this shit up, Neal. I wasn't going to go to Alaska, you knew that, I'd never try and drag him there… But this chance… It's like… I don't even fucking know how I got it. It's crazy, and too good to be truth, and you know I can't…" She ran out of breath, trying to keep the tears from falling and her voice from breaking.

Neal looked away, as if he was uncomfortable too. He was sure expecting the anger, but he never knew what to do with the tears. "I know, Ems," He whispered at last. "And you deserve it, honest. You do. But you're making a choice, here."

"Don't say that."

"I'm not criticizing, ok? I'm just saying…"

"Do not say it," She told him through gritted teeth, and Neal sighed.

He didn't say it, but Emma knew nevertheless. She would have to leave Henry with him. She was making a choice, and it wasn't her son.

"You are a fucking asshole sometimes, you know that, right? Why are you making me do this?"

Choosing. When he was the one… he was the one that had that we'll figure it out rule in the first place?

"I'm not making you do anything."

"Yes! Yes, you are! You are trying to convince me that what I'm doing is one-sided, selfish, wrong at some level."

"I'm not-"

"It's the dream, Neal! The dream! But i'm not leaving my son behind because of it, and it's a real jerk move of you to convince me that it is what I'm doing. He's not the one asking for stability, you are! Are you bailing on me now?"

He sighed. He fucking sighed again, and it was when Emma realized what she had known for a long time. They were not a family anymore. They were two parents that no longer shared a unit mentality. They were on their own now, and Neal sure was fighting tooth and nail to stay that way.

"His vacations are with me. And holidays. I don't care if Easter is your favorite, you are giving it up for me, got it?"

Neal eyed her like he was analysing pros and cons. There was not much to analyse, really.

"Alright," He conceded like Emma knew he would. Like she would, if roles were reversed.

"And it's not permanent. After the whole crazy intern year is over I want to talk about this again."

"We can do that," He opened his arms like he was surrendering, but Emma had a sinking, bitter feeling in her gut that it was just for show. He had won.

So, she was leaving his son behind. She was choosing her dream, but she was choosing Henry too, she had to tell herself that. Because what she'd become and who she would be… It was all for Henry too. It was a hard exercise, a painful thought to maintain.

But it was her reason. And in the end of the day, it didn't even feel like a choice anyway.

~SQ~

Emma leaned in over the balcony, whistling to the barman with two fingers in her mouth. The woman in the stool by her side flinched at the sound.

"Was that really necessary, Dr. Swan?" Asked a familiar, low voice.

Emma whipped her head sideways to watch Dr. Mills bringing a martini to her lips and sipping it without averting her eyes from the intern. The surprise must have shown in her face, as the woman arched a perfect eyebrow inquisitively.

Emma recovered, shaking her head. "Actually, yeah. Have you tried making Wes stop flirting around and getting you a beer?"

Dr. Mills rested her glass on the counter slowly, "I'm usually the one he's flirting with."

It was Emma's turn to arch an eyebrow. Was Mills drunk? She glanced around shortly without acknowledging any of the doctor's usual gang - what meant they weren't there, since those doctors were hardly missable. Emma hesitated for a second, then shrugged, "Yeah, I bet."

Regina Mills was probably the kind of woman that couldn't pass unbothered by any bar in the world.

"Wes, dear," She called, waving lightly. Though her voice was barely above the loud beat coming from the speakers, the man turned around immediately, all but sliding through the floor to grin at the woman.

"Yes, Regina? Can I get you another?"

"Not yet," She threw him a reckless grin. "But my colleague here needs a beer."

Wes glanced at Emma as if only then he noticed her standing there, then nodded curtly. "Gemma, right?"

"Oh, come on, I'm here six nights a week."

"Sorry, hon. I'll get you that beer."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Asshole."

By her side came an unexpected giggle, and Emma bit her lip. "Thank you."

Mills waved dismissively, then sipped her drink again, "How do you manage it?"

"What?"

"The internship, the kid, and being here six nights a week," She said. Emma wondered again if the woman was drunk - she must be, to make conversation.

"I don't," Emma replied as Wes landed an iced mug in front of her and then asked Mills if he could get her anything else. "Oh my God, asshole!" She called again for good measure, before drinking.

She was about to excuse herself when she noticed Mills was still staring, as if waiting for the rest of the answer. This only got weirder, but Emma supposed getting a table alone and fending for herself the rest of the night wasn't any more appealing. She climbed the stool.

"The kid lives with his dad," She mumbled into the mug. "We lived near Portland while I was in med school, then I took this position here, and... Neal already had a good job there, so... He guessed I wouldn't have the time. To keep the kid. Guess he was right. I'd starve a cactus, these days."

She gulped the beer trying to swallow the bitterness in her throat along with the embarrassment of having overshared. Jesus, the woman already didn't like her, and now this. Usually, Emma was so not the type to talk about her life over a beer. Not the type to talk about her life, period. But the nights when she had to say goodbye to Henry, those were just the worst. Waving him away from the station, trying to laugh at his funny faces against the glass window, it was just too fucking hard. And this weekend? Oh, this weekend he had news.

"You must miss him terribly," Regina said, her finger rounding the edge of her glass, raising an acute sound.

"You have any kids?" Emma retorted, shifting in her seat, desperate to change the focus from her bad parenting.

"I don't," The tone was enough to tell her it had been the wrong thing to say. The sharpness she had come to know so well filled Regina's voice, then broke it. "I can't."

They both stared at their drinks, as Emma tried to absorb everything that was inserted in those four short words. The longing, the frustration, the hatred. Did she just really feel all of that in two sentences? She didn't know Dr. Mills very well, but right now it was easy to understand.

"Life's nonsense," She replied at last. "I was seventeen when I got knocked up, fucking penniless, basically a High School drop out, and I didn't want it. Fuck, I'm still bad at it, no matter how hard I try. And then someone like you, a goddamn genius with the perfect life..."

Emma looked up to meet Regina's eyes, and her stomach dropped. Was it recognition she saw there? A sparkle of it, just for a moment? Once, she had been a scarred pregnant girl, and an intern had told her she'd be quite something someday. She did and didn't want that to ever come up. Was it coming up?

"You think I have the perfect life?" Was all Regina said, letting out a snort. The sparkle was gone from her eyes.

"Maybe not," Emma conceded. "We're both drinking alone in a Sunday night, after all."

"Well, I've been drinking alone since Friday night," She corrected, waving at Wes again. "Then I ran out of liquor."

Emma snorted as another full mug was put in front of her. "Gotta catch up, then."

Regina nodded as she sipped a brand new martini. "Where's your crew?" She asked. "In my days, the group of interns got so tight it was Freudian material."

"A couple of them are on call," Emma said, sighing. "One out of town. Can't really stand the other."

Regina chuckled, "Now it sounds about right."

"What about yours?"

"Do I have a crew?"

"Oh, shit, you have a fucking scary gang and you know it."

Regina scoffed, "Oh, right. How is it they call us, these days?"

Emma gulped her beer. The witches.

"The witches, is it?" Mills drawled.

"Sexist bullshit," Emma mumbled, drawing the other woman's eyes.

"You just said we are scarry."

"Yeah, I mean, a group of powerful, badass, talented women? It puts you on your toes, right? I didn't mean it as a bad thing. It's not a bad thing."

Regina watched her mindfully, then nodded before throwing the rest of her drink back. "Wes," She called, her voice smooth with inebriety. "Another round, please."

"My mug's still pretty full," Emma pointed out.

"Well, dear, you said it yourself. Gotta catch up."

The intern smirked and Regina watched as Emma gulped down her beer like a dredge. She guessed there was a time she was able to do such a thing, too. College years, then probably throughout her internship, on rough nights. Ursula was the biggest drinker, but Regina never fell far behind her. Then those nights dwindled away, given in to husbands, and houses and studies. But now, well, if she kept up this pace, Regina would soon be back to her glory days, she thought drunkenly.

She hadn't told anyone. Every time she picked up the phone, the humiliation burning in her stomach would prevent her from calling. What good would it do to call her friends, anyway? To whisk them away from their beds, their children, their lovers. Only to comfort the wreckage that was Regina Mills. Again.

Nobody can stand it anymore, Regina.

Instead, she drank, and she wiped the floor. She listened to music, and she drank. She might have cried a little too much while she drank. Then the house started closing in on her and all the bottles were empty. She grabbed the car keys, driving blindly, stupidly, until she got there. At the hospital, of course. She couldn't go in, not in that state, not if she still cared for her reputation in the least. That was the only place where she knew who she was and what to do, but she couldn't go in. So she crossed the street to Joey's.

"Thank you, dear," Swan was growling at the cute barman as he poured them both new drinks. He was young and harmless, and some nights Regina didn't mind the attention.

Tonight, there was Emma Swan. Also young, and tentative in so many ways. But Regina wouldn't render her harmless, no. There was something fierce about her, and familiar too. Maybe they were a bit alike. Two lonely souls meeting at a bar, she was sure there were dozens of movies about it.

"I wasn't very nice to you, before," Regina said, eyeing the girl carefully.

"What, you'll start now?" She grinned.

"I don't suppose it would make much of a difference to you either way."

Dr. Swan shrugged, "I'm used to people not being nice. Never stopped me before."

"You are not a pumpkin pie yourself."

"Anger issues, the social worker used to call," She threw the information in casually enough for Regina almost let it slip. "I'm a lot better, though. Should had seen me as a kid, I was the face of teen angst."

Once upon a time, Regina was so fond of people who made fun of themselves. They were usually the easiest to talk to, the less inclined to be jerks, the more inclined to be flirty. She blinked, staring at the straight face of the young doctor by her side, and wondered if that was what they were doing.

There was nothing trapping in those green eyes, and either way Regina felt something start buzzing in the small space between them.

"What did you do?" Regina asked, crushing the olive of her drink between her teeth and gesturing for Wes to get her another. "To get over your anger issues?"

Emma averted her eyes there, finished her beer to keep up. "Had a fucking baby?" She let out eventually. "Can't be angry if you're so tired you can't bring a spoon to your mouth without hitting your nose twice."

"That sounded specific enough for me to believe it indeed happened."

"Don't picture it," Emma pleaded.

"Too late."

Jesus, they were flirting.

"Why did you keep him?" She asked suddenly, fully knowing it was a too intimate of a question to make. If she scarred the girl away, it would probably be for the best.

"Why don't you adopt?" Emma bounced back, not missing a beat.

"I thought about it."

"I thought about it too."

They sipped their drinks.

"His daddy's got a girlfriend," Swan announced, a sudden bitterness dripping from the words. "Anna. Champion at building snowmen or something. She's got a prize for that. Did you know there are snowmen competitions?"

"I did not know that."

"Me neither, but Anna has won some."

Regina chuckled into her glass, a sound as dry as her martini. Then they were two broken-hearted drunks, how much more of a cliché could it get?

"Still not over him, I suppose?" She asked while Emma sipped her beer. "This... Neal?"

"What? No!" She squirted a little beer from her nose, making Regina frown. "Shit, sorry about that." The girl grabbed a napkin, giggling. "But, no. Really, I'm so not pining over Neal."

"Then what is the deal with Anna, the snowman maker?"

"My fucking kid! He wouldn't shut up about her!" She brought the napkin to her face as if she could wipe away her outburst.

"You are jealous of your son?" Regina raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not jealous, ok?" Swan shook her head. "I'm just worried. And pissed cause Neal didn't discuss it with me before introducing her. We had a deal about this. He wasn't supposed to..."

"Get a girlfriend?" Regina nudged, receiving a unamused glare in return.

"Look, I'm not around this much anymore, you know. And that's tough enough. Now..." She trailed off, made a dismissive gesture and went back to her beer.

Regina didn't need any more clarification, though. She let the air out, thinking about her broken furniture, about Robin leaving. And about this new woman, the one who was having his baby. She thought about how she felt robbed of something she had fought so hard to secure. And she just knew all too well how Emma Swan felt.

"My husband left me," She said the words to herself, tasting them in her mouth. Measuring the damage.

"Well, that's a moron," Emma replied softly.

Regina snorted. "Life's nonsense," She quoted, turning in the stool to face her.

"Yeah, but..." Emma looked her in the eyes fearlessly. There was more there than Regina felt able to acknowledge. "Do you ever think everything happens for a reason?"

There was a sequence of flashes; a green-eyed teenager, brand new babies in the nursery, anger issues, Daniel kissing her in the hospital hall, a pregnancy test - a mysterious kaleidoscope powered by martinis. There was no reason. There was just life.

"Shut up," Regina whispered back, and leaned in.

Emma met her halfway as if they had been warming up to that moment the whole night. Were they? It was more of an assured kiss than she would have guessed, the mouth against hers warm and real, soft and alive. It didn't last long; a test drive wasn't a ride home, but it did the trick. They parted just slightly wide-eyed, before Regina beckoned, "Let's get out of here."

A howling wind whipped Emma's hair around as they stepped onto the street, and Regina ravished the insides of her purse before whisking her car keys. Swan shot her a disbelieving glance before shaking her head, "You're not driving."

Regina opened her mouth to argue, but there was not a case there. She shouldn't have driven there, in the first place. The keys vanished again in her purse. "A cab, then."

"My place's three blocks away," Emma said, making it sound like an invitation and a challenge, somehow. For both possibilities, Regina had had martinis enough.

"Lead the way."

Her flat was tiny and messed up, with takeout boxes piling up on top of the kitchen counter. But as Emma pulled Regina by the waist, she forgot about her own huge kitchen island in her private condom house, and about the fact she was at least ten years older than the woman kissing her neck, not to mention her boss, and that their behavior was inappropriate at best. She forgot anything that wasn't Emma's heated mouth spreading chills through her body.

Mal had told her once that there were only two kinds of sex - one during which you thought about everything, and one during which you couldn't think at all. And while Emma met her mouth again with a starved kiss, dragging her to a very untidy bed, Regina already knew which one this was gonna be.

Regina sat down, sighing as their lips were pulled apart by the movement. Emma held her by the back of her neck, climbing her lap to fix that problem, kissing her again. The other hand was undoing Regina's shirt with a disconcerting ability, and once Emma's lips started travelling down her throat, her hands were already cupping Regina's breasts over the bra.

Emma didn't put up any resistance when Regina crumpled her pullover between her fingers and pulled it up over her head, tangling it in blonde hair until a gasping Emma Swan appeared on the other side. Swan smirked, her freckled, light skin glowing under the yellow light from the abajour. Then she pushed Regina back, and she was staring at a starred ceiling, the stickers faded now that the lights were on. Emma's face eclipsed the stars as she leaned in, her lips everywhere at once; teasing Regina's mouth, nibbling at her chin, burning down her neck.

She grabbed Emma by the waist, arching her back as a swift hand ran through her spine and unclipped her bra. Regina couldn't believe the raw sensation of Emma's tongue when she mouthed a nipple, nor the gasping whimper she let out. There was something there, more than mere chemistry, more than alcohol-induced inconsequence.

Emma wanted her.

Regina shivered, sinking her nails into the soft skin and tight muscles of Emma's back. Emma panted against her breasts, then growled very, very low, as if Regina had just provoked a barely-tamed animal. Nimble fingers undid her jeans, the zipper sliding down with the sound of a promise. When Emma hooked her fingers on it and pulled it down her legs, Regina raised her hips to help. There was nothing within her denying. Nothing.

For the first time in forever, she felt utterly desired. The heat of Emma's hand, the rasp on her voice, the wheezing of her breathing - it all told a story Regina wanted so much to hear. No 'but', no doubt, no contradiction, and for once, no worries. Just them, together, skin against skin, tongue tasting tongue. Her body felt so ready for it, it could burst into a million pieces.

The small sound Emma made against her lips when her right hand slid under her panties informed Regina of just how wet she was. She didn't mind, she didn't mind in the least if there was no way to hide the euphory growing in the pit of her stomach. And Emma smelled so nice, tasted so good, and touched her so right she wanted to cry out.

"I'm coming," She yelped, though she was pretty sure Emma's fingers were still wandering in a reconnaissance mission.

The orgasm coursed through her body as electricity, lighting up parts of her Regina hadn't acknowledged in years. It was pleasure, simple, powerful, overwhelming. And she wanted more. Emma kissed her in a hurry - was she shaking too, or was it just Regina? - biting on her lower lip as if assuring her they were far from done, and Regina responded entwining trembling fingers in golden hair and cursing in a puffy voice that echoed down Emma's throat.

And they were on again, rolling onto the mattress, getting rid of the remaining clothes with the drunken fumble of two people too intoxicated by each other. "Oh, God," She moaned when Emma found way inside of her, her teeth seizing Regina's left nipple while her tongue flicked the tip. "Fuck, yes," She added when a thumb pressed her clit in such a glorious way all the curses lined up in her mouth were lost in a series of cries.

Emma quivered against her, keeping up, up, up inside her, turning the orgasm into an explosion. They both needed a moment when it was over, Emma coming up to kiss her again, and Regina glanced at her hot, red cheeks, her labored breath suddenly too revealing. "Did you…?" She whispered into Emma's lips, frowning. "Did you just… too?"

Emma's face flushed even harder, if possible, when she nodded slightly. "I can't, I can't help it," The tone was almost apologetic. "When you come like this, I can't help it."

Regina stared at her, the feel of their sweated, hot skins brushing all over, and tried to take in the fact Emma had spontaneous orgasms just by watching her come. The feeling that washed over her was so brutally arousing she groaned. She pulled Emma in for a kiss, a famished, nervous kiss. Yes, Emma wanted her. Emma wanted her in a sexy, undeniable, uncomplicated way that was heaven. Fucking heaven.

When the blonde broke the kiss and headed south, Regina's heart felt like a wild bird trying to burst out of her ribcage. Her temples, her nipples, her clit - it all throbbed like thunders in a storm. Emma went down on her like it was the last time she would ever have a woman - or at least it was how it felt. Regina grabbed the sheets, her hips convulsing enough so that Emma had to hold her thighs forcefully to keep her in place. She came so hard it was maddening; she forgot her name, her life, what planet she lived in. She inhabited Emma's world now, and it was freaking enough.

It got even better when she realized Emma had come again, too, whimpering against her pubis like she was too dizzy to straighten herself again. Regina dove a hand through her hair - her nails running through the scalp and making Emma shiver - and pulled her up. Their eyes met first, then noses, then lips - then hips.

They moaned together this time, marvelling at the perfect fit of their bodies. When Emma started to move, Regina held her by the waist and helped. They couldn't be more together if they tried. Jesus, she had heard so much romantic crap about how a man and a woman turned into one, but right now? Emma was more inside of her then she had ever felt. Every charge of her hips was a lightening of pure heat and pleasure running her through. They kissed, and they panted, and they moaned until it was unbearable.

The bed creaked and hammered the wall, and they were both too blind and deaf to notice. The abajour trembled in the bedside table, and it seemed just logical that the word would swing with them. It crumbled to the floor as Regina cried out, orgasming like a volcano exploding. There was a buzz when the plug was pulled and the lights went out.

Regina was left with Emma's comforting weight in her arms and shining green stars above.

~SQ~

So, this nonsense, not at all worried about a time line chapter was fun to write!

It was a crazy thing that I wanted to try, and I hope it was enjoyable for you too and, you know, not all that confusing.

It took me a while, but hey, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS UPDATE!

Pretty cool, am I right?

Am I right?!

Hahaha, let me know.

I'll see you soon(er)!