AN: And Edward is taking a chance ...

I love the response from everyone, and each and every one makes all this late night writing so rewarding.

My thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for her beta skills

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight no matter how many wishes I sent to Santa, nor how good I tried to be in this last year

Edward

After Tanya left, I managed to get a late afternoon flight from JFK to Seattle, though adding the drive would get me home around eleven tonight. I wasn't due back to work until January third, and I figured that it was best to include a return flight, though I wasn't sure I even wanted to be here in New York.

It was already past midday so after booking a rental car I pulled my suitcase down from the top of the closet and added warm clothing. Forks wasn't quite as cold as New York in winter but it was almost always wet so I packed what I would normally have worn at home. It was strange how even though I'd lived in New York for eight years, I still called Forks home. Now that I'd made the decision to go I felt happier, despite the acrimonious parting from Tanya earlier.

Lastly, I picked up the worn, drawstring bag from where Tanya had dumped it last night, and checked that its contents were still okay. The glaringly empty Tiffany box lay upturned beside it. Might have known she'd take it, I muttered suppressing a shudder at the what had been, a narrow escape; definitely worth the cost of the ring.

The taxi drive to the airport was more eventful than the flight, traffic being nose to nose most of the way. I took the opportunity to try to speak to Alice and unfortunately only managed to get her voicemail. I really wanted to talk to her about Bella, but maybe it was better that I wait until I got to Forks; she'd be at Mom and Dad's over the holiday period, and I could speak to her then and maybe sound her out about where Bella was in her life. I even toyed with the idea of taking some vacation time and making a trip to England to speak to her face to face, though the hospital wouldn't be keen to grant me time off at such short notice.

Thankfully, I'd been prepared for the long journey and booked the taxi for three hours before my flight, arriving just in time to drop off my bag and head to the departure lounge with just my backpack. I did manage to get in a couple of hours of sleep, but kept waking from remembered memories of Bella and me.

Before I knew it we'd landed and everyone was pushing and shoving to get off as quickly as possible. I waited until almost last and then collected my suitcase and made my way to the rental car desk. It didn't take long for me to be on my way and I arrived home just past eleven as I had predicted.

As I drew into the parking circle outside the house, the front door opened to emit Mom and Dad, who looked as if they had waited up for me. "Edward." Mom stepped up to the car as I opened the door and folded her arms around me. Leaning down to kiss the top of her head, I could feel the welcome in her touch.

Dad was close behind her, pulling both of us in for a long hug. "I'm so glad you're home, son. I've missed you―we've missed you." Both drew back at the same time.

"How long are you staying?" Mom asked while Dad popped the trunk and grabbed my suitcase before catching up with Mom and me.

"At least until the day after New Year. I have to be back at the hospital on January third, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do then." I shook my head. "I'm not sure of anything."

"Whatever you need, son, we're here for you." Dad's hand settled on my shoulder as we walked into the house; my home.

I sat in the kitchen drinking Mom's special hot chocolate and talked about the hospital and how crazy my hours were. Dad asked me if I'd decided on my specialization. "I'm leaning toward pediatrics, though I do love the fast pace of the ER." As always, he encouraged me to gain as much knowledge in both of those, not once mentioning his own path. We didn't touch on the subject of Tanya or why I'd decided to come home a few days earlier than planned.

Eventually, as I rested my forehead on the cool kitchen counter, Mom nudged me. "Come on, Edward, why don't you get some sleep? I'm sure you need it and everything always looks better when you're rested." That was the closest she got to saying that she knew something was up.

Lifting my head, I nodded and rose to my feet. A quick kiss to the top of her head and another hug from my dad, and I headed wearily up the stairs to my childhood bedroom. After drawing the curtains closed, I fell across the bed fully clothed and into a deep sleep, only waking as the faint morning light began to show through the curtains.

A quick look at the clock on the nightstand told me it was early yet, but I was absolutely starving. I showered and decided not to shave today, dressing in sweats and an old band t-shirt I found in the drawer. Finally, I headed downstairs to the smell of frying bacon and hot coffee.

"Morning, Mom."

"Good morning, sweetheart. You're up early. Did you sleep well?"

I stretched and then opened the refrigerator door, grabbing the orange juice carton and slugging back a few mouthfuls before a swift slap to my arm reminded me that slobbing out at my apartment was fine, but my mother expected better manners.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly and reached for a glass from the cabinet, filling it to the brim before replacing the carton in the fridge.

As I seated myself at the breakfast bar, Mom put a plate full of eggs and bacon and fresh pancakes in front of me, ruffling my hair as she had done when I was living here. "Coffee?" It wasn't really a question as she filled a mug and placed it on the bar next to me.

By the time Dad came downstairs I'd devoured half of the food on my plate. He took the seat opposite me, unfolding the newspaper the same as he'd always done. The room was quiet, not uncomfortably so, but for the sound of cutlery on plates, satisfied murmurs about the food and the rustling of the pages of the newspaper as my parents swapped sections. It was so reminiscent of my teenage years that I was transported back in time in my head, and when the doorbell rang, I had a hard time shaking the thought from my head that it would be Bella.

When it was only a delivery guy who needed a signature for a parcel, I was actually disappointed. I poured another coffee for myself and topped up Mom's while she waved Dad off to his final work day until after New Year's.

She returned to her seat and launched straight into a conversation I knew was coming. "So what's up with you and Tanya? And before you protest, I can tell something isn't right, so spill," she demanded.

I gave a small sigh, but at the look she gave me over the top of her reading glasses I launched into the events of the previous day and what had led up to my epiphany.

"Tanya and I are over," were the first words I uttered out loud, and surprisingly, it didn't hurt at all. "She found an engagement ring." At my mother's gasp, I hastened to add, "I hadn't proposed, and no, it wasn't Granny Cullen's ring. I bought one for Tanya a few weeks ago, figuring that it was the next logical step. We went to dinner at a great restaurant where she proceeded to tell me what I should be doing career-wise. I hadn't even taken the ring out with me and that should have been my first clue that I didn't really want to marry her."

"Edward, surely that's something you'd thought about before you bought the ring? Logically proposing? That's hardly romantic or passionate, is it?"

I shrugged, knowing that she was right. "I guess so, but I'm stubborn like that, and she's been nudging me about moving in and taking our relationship to the next level, and somehow I found myself saying 'why not?' Anyway, when we got home I was getting changed and she found both rings and just made an assumption. Before I knew it we were engaged without me even asking."

"But, Edward, why on earth didn't you say something?"

"I was lost for words, really. I know, I know." I laughed. "Not like me, right? Anyway, we, or rather she, drank most of a bottle of champagne I'd bought at the same time as the ring and ended up passed out in my bed. She said some things that had me thinking so I stayed on the couch and we had it out in the morning. Turns out Bella both wrote to me and came to see me in New York some years ago, and Tanya said nothing about it to me. She told Bella to get lost."

Feeling so much lighter now that it was all out in the open, I took a deep breath. "So I'm back here because I need space and time to think of what to do next, and if I'd stayed in New York, it's more than likely Tanya'd be knocking on my door sooner rather than later."

"What about Bella? Have you spoken to her?"

I shook my head. "No, it's probably too late. Last I heard she was with someone, but I do know that I deserve to love someone as passionately as I d-did Bella, and Tanya is just not that person." Mom narrowed her eyes a little and I was sure that she'd picked up my little slip, but she let it go.

After a sandwich for lunch, I spent the afternoon in my room drifting in and out of sleep, remembering the times Bella and I had spent right here on this same bed, making out and more. I was grateful that everything that had gone down between us eight years ago hadn't touched this space, or sullied those memories. When I finally surfaced, it was to the smell of the evening meal drifting through the house. It had been a long time since I'd had a home-cooked meal, and preparing something for myself just wasn't the same. Tanya had always been a rotten cook, and I wasn't a lot better.

Still tired, as much emotionally as physically, I decided to retire to my room again after dinner and I fell asleep watching a movie. The following day started bright and clear, although cold, and the weather forecast was for snow sometime in the next twenty-four hours. I knew it was unlikely to spoil the New Year's Eve celebrations; Mom was way too prepared to ever let that happen.

Mom's New Year's Eve bash was legendary. She'd thrown the huge party every year in my memory—though I had missed a few in recent years—and was known for inviting half the neighborhood. With a catered buffet and as-much-as-you-could-drink bar, and with fireworks timed to start as the clock struck the first note of the midnight hour, it was usually the talk of the town.

The morning brought Emmett and Rose, who were now married. Coming home with me one summer, Emmett met Rose, and that was all she wrote, as they say. As soon as he graduated he'd moved to Forks, and he and Rose had bought Waylon Driver's old car workshop. They turned it into a thriving business with Emmett as the business brain and Rose as the hands-on mechanic. It worked for them. Although things were still, and probably would always be, a little frosty between Rose and me, I was happy for them.

I spent the day running errands, tidying up the decorations and the garden and setting up the fireworks with Emmett. The party was set to start at seven-thirty and seven o'clock found me showered and dressed in a ridiculous christmas sweater Mom insisted I wear. Paired with black jeans and my usual sneakers, I was comfortable and actually looking forward to the evening.

As usual, there were far too many people to fit into the house, even though the huge doors separating the living and formal dining room had been opened up. A heavy marquee had been set up in the garden with a covered walkway lined by space-heaters, leading into the heated space where a temporary dance floor had been laid down for those who wanted to dance.

Almost three hours into the evening, I'd caught up with old school friends who'd stayed in Forks and was thoroughly tired of being accosted by every female under the age of thirty-five, and a few well beyond. Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory, the Tattle Twins, were still unmarried and both convinced that they had a shot with me, but I couldn't stand either of them, even less now than at school. Eventually, I managed to escape to the kitchen where I found Alice and Jasper whispering to each other.

"Hey, you two, I didn't hear you arrive."

They both whirled at my voice, looking guilty, though I had no idea what would have caused it.

"Oh, hi, Edward. How are you?" Alice stepped away from Jasper, who shook my hand. "How are things in New York? Where's Tanya?"

"Er, she won't be coming―we broke up. Listen, Alice, can we talk please―about Bella―I'd like to know how she's getting on and what she's doing now?"

I knew Alice didn't really like Tanya, but she'd always been polite to her. Still, the beaming smile that appeared on both of their faces was surprising.

"It's not a good time right now, Edward. Why don't you give me a call in the morning and we can catch up?" I thought she'd have more to say but neither her nor Jasper looked inclined to elaborate, and disappeared into the living room. I looked quizzically after them, confused at the slight brush off, but decided that there wasn't much I could do right now anyway, so I shrugged and let it go. I figured I'd have time later to get the reason behind the grinning faces, and what I needed to know about Bella out of one or the other of them.

Turning to return to the living room, I caught sight of Jessica and Lauren standing just inside the door watching for me and decided that I couldn't take another second of their inane chatter. I grabbed a soda from the kitchen and stepped outside the front door where I could hear the muted sounds from the back garden, but could be on my own for a while.

It had been snowing, but the clouds had cleared a little, leaving a circle of stars above the house. A full moon filled the space with light and bounced off the settled snow, giving a sharp look to everything. Suddenly, I had the urge to get out of here and I knew the place I needed to go. It was fortunate that I'd only had a couple of beers, wanting to keep my wits about me with the Tattle Twins being out for heaven knows what. I stepped back inside the door to shove my feet in my boots, grabbing my coat and the keys to my dad's old truck. Managing to maneuver it out of the garage and between the parked cars, I set off for the narrow dirt lane that would lead to our meadow.

The night was so bright I could have easily driven without lights, and I found the opening easily. I parked under the trees where the snow wasn't as thick as it was at the house. Finding a flashlight from the glove box, I stepped out into a world of white silence. Without the sound of the engine I could clearly hear the sounds of the party all the way from here, and set off on the well-known path toward the meadow where Bella and I had spent most of the last year before college.

It took only a little longer to get there, the path only having a light dusting of snow except where a fallen tree had allowed the snow to reach the ground and settle. Within twenty minutes, despite the wet starting to leak through my boots, I stepped out through the trees into the open clearing. My eyes were immediately drawn to the other entrance to the meadow, and I had to blink a few times before I realized that I wasn't seeing things.

Somehow, Bella was here, at the place we'd always been our happiest; where I'd told her how much in love with her I was.

~oOo~

** Last Chances **