AN: Another instalment and now back to Bella. I hope you enjoy this one as much as the last 4.

Bella

Although I was dead tired, the two hours sleep I'd managed in the car revived me enough to eat a small meal and drink some tea; coffee would only serve to keep me awake right now. I yawned all through the general chat about what had been happening in Forks―not that it was much―over the last couple of months. Dad said that it had been quiet apart from a few bear sightings, and Mom talked about the kids in her kindergarten classes. Most of them were the children of those who attended school at the same time I had, and had never escaped the town to a new life.

Although Mom never said anything, I knew she wished that I'd found someone to settle down with. I didn't yet want to broach the subject of Riley's proposal so I managed to bypass any conversation about my life unless it was generalities. I begged off at eight, wanting nothing more than a shower and a long sleep.

Dad had lucked out; although he'd worked from Christmas Day until today, he was off for New Year's Eve and the following day. We'd have ample time to catch up and for me to tell them both what had gone down only twenty-four hours ago; it seemed like a lifetime already.

While Dad fetched my suitcase from the hall where Jasper had left it, I headed up the stairs to my old bedroom. Opening the door was like being transported back in time. I had come back here a few times with Riley, but he'd always had to stay downstairs on the sofa, so this space still belonged to Edward and me.

Grabbing a couple of towels from the hall cupboard, I passed Dad on my way to the bathroom, leaving him to dump my suitcase on the floor beside the bed. I took the quickest shower known to man, not bothering to wash my hair since I'd be doing it all over again tomorrow before the party. Within thirty minutes, I was curled up under the comforter dressed in one of Edward's old t-shirts I'd found in a drawer. Though it didn't smell of his scent any longer, it felt nice against my skin. I don't remember dreaming at all, but I slept for over sixteen hours, waking just about lunchtime the following day.

I cleaned my teeth and washed my hands and face before rummaging in my suitcase for clean sweats and a top that wasn't too wrinkled. I promised myself that I would unpack a little later and brushed my hair into a low ponytail before wandering downstairs to find coffee and something to eat, in that order.

Dad hadn't returned from work yet, but Mom was sitting at the kitchen table with a hot drink and a magazine in front of her.

"Afternoon, sleepyhead. I thought you'd never wake. Do you want tea or coffee, or maybe hot chocolate? And something to eat?"

"I must have been more tired than I thought." I yawned widely, making my eyes water. "Can I have coffee please, Mom, and a sandwich?"

"Coming up," she said, rising from her seat and opening the refrigerator door. I watched as she poured me a coffee and placed it directly in front of me, and then turned back to gather the makings for a cheese sandwich. "You didn't say why you decided to visit so suddenly, Bella." Her back was to me when she launched straight into a conversation I wasn't sure I was ready for.

I leaned my head on my hand, my elbow on the table, and took a sip of the hot coffee while I worked out what and how much I wanted to say. She left me to my thoughts for a few moments, but all too soon she put the sandwich in front of me and took her seat again, cocking her head to one side the way she'd always done when I was a teenager and she was waiting for me to talk.

I groaned and brushed a hand over my face. "Do we have to do this now, Mom?" I could hear the whine in my voice and knew that it probably wouldn't do any good; I'd have to spill or she'd not stop until she got what she wanted.

"Riley and I broke up." I realized that, although I hadn't actually said those words to him, it was true. Even if Edward had moved on, my answer to Riley would be no.

For a second surprise flashed across her face, followed by what looked like satisfaction. Nevertheless, her voice was even when she spoke again. "What happened?

I looked down at the table, moving the sandwich around on my plate, my appetite suddenly gone. "He proposed." Her gasp had me looking up again, and I hurriedly continued. "The moment the words were out of his mouth, I knew I couldn't do it; I couldn't marry someone I only half-loved. It wouldn't be fair to him or me."

She looked at me shrewdly. "And you came to this conclusion because?"

"I'm still in love with Edward."

The look she gave me then was all-knowing. "True love doesn't die, Bella. You can move on after it but there isn't always another." She stopped and rose to refill her cup. "What about Edward? Have you spoken to him?"

"I'm planning to, and that's part of the reason I came back. I need to speak to him face to face; I need to know if there's anything left of us." I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. "If he has moved on then, I'll just have to move on, too."

"If either of those is true, what are you planning to do? You have a job, an apartment and a life in England." I knew then that she wanted me to come back to Forks or at least the States, and up until now she'd said nothing, believing I was happy with the life I'd built. With my declaration I'd raised hope, and I could now see it very clearly in her eyes.

"I spoke to Alice. She told me that Edward was planning to be in Forks for New Year, with … with Tanya, his girlfriend. So I'm determined that, this time, I will get a chance to speak to him."

"You came to speak to him before." It wasn't a question but I nodded anyway. "We're going to Esme and Carlisle's party tonight. You're welcome to come along, of course, they'd love to see you. Is that when you'll speak to him?"

"I hope so," I said, shrugging again. "If not, then New Year's Day for sure. Either way, I want to come home; home to Forks. Of course, I don't know if I can stay here; I might have to get a job in Seattle and move there, but for now, I want to stay here. Would that be okay with you and Dad?"

"Of course it is, Bella. We'd love nothing more, as long as you're sure. You've built a great career in London and I don't want to see you lose that, but yes, I want you home." She swallowed back the tears, brushing the errant one that drifted from the corner of her eye. She stood and walked around the table, stooping to hug me tightly.

"Eat your sandwich."

Suddenly feeling lighter, I tucked into the sandwich and then made myself another coffee. Stepping out onto the back porch, I turned on the heater and took a seat on the old swing. Edward and I had spent hours out there talking and quietly making out, always with an ear out for Dad who would come and check on us from time to time, though he never did manage to catch us doing anything untoward. It was a simpler time; before graduation, before thoughts of college and before stupid scholarships derailed our relationship. I wallowed for a while, wishing that things had been different; that I'd made a different decision. As the night chill increased and the temperature dropped, I pulled back from such maudlin thoughts. I would see Edward soon, and I would get my answer.

I returned indoors, deciding that now was the time to take the first step toward changing my life. Powering up my laptop, I typed up my notice of resignation and emailed it to the human resources department. I also emailed my landlord to give him notice, although I knew it would cost me the deposit I'd given and I would probably have to pay the rent from the end of my tenancy until the end of the three months' notice required in my lease.

Much as I wanted to have a clean break with Riley, I knew that had to be done face to face; he deserved at least that, so I closed the laptop and headed to the kitchen to see if Mom needed any help with preparing dinner. We spent the next hour or so just talking and reconnecting, until Dad stepped through the front door.

"Anyone home?" It was the same question he'd called out every day on his return from work. He rounded the corner into the kitchen, grinning at the two of us elbow deep in preparation and washing dishes. "Nice to see you home, Bella."

Mom smiled at him and told him to wash up because dinner would be ready in twenty. The same way he'd done for the last twenty-five years, he placed his gun in the safe, hung up his jacket, and trudged upstairs to change.

I set the table in the kitchen while Mom added the finishing touches to dinner. We talked about the Cullen party the following day, this leading me to tell Dad that Riley and I had broken up.

"You sure about that, Bella? I thought you loved him."

"I did … do sort of love him, but he asked me to marry him and I knew right away that I didn't love him the way a fiancée loves the man she agrees to marry, or a wife loves a husband."

Dad made a sound in his throat. "Still Cullen, then?"

I stared at him in surprise. "How did you know?" I whispered.

Dad put down his cutlery and wiped his mouth with his napkin before throwing it on the table. He stood to retrieve a can of beer from the refrigerator before sitting agan. "I always knew you loved him; I just wasn't sure it was good for you. I didn't want you to give up on your dreams, and I knew that scholarship would give you a chance to fill them." He paused to take a long swig. "I'm sorry I persuaded you to go, but I thought I was doing the right thing at the time; I thought you and he would make it if your love was strong enough. I didn't bank on him being selfless enough to give you up, or your pride preventing you from fighting for him."

The room was totally silent for a few minutes as I digested what he'd told me. Eventually, I placed my hand over his. "It wasn't your fault, Dad. You were only doing what you thought was right; it wasn't up to you to make it right between Edward and me, that was all on us. Maybe I can put it right now, maybe I can't, but I need to at least try."

Mom cleared away the dishes and eventually Dad just nodded his acceptance and left the kitchen, taking a second can of beer. A few minutes later the sound of a game filtered through from the living room. We washed the remaining dishes in silence, and eventually I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and headed to bed after calling a goodnight to both.

I lay in my childhood bed remembering the times Edward had climbed through my window. It was a wonder he never fell or broke a bone, or that my Dad had never caught on to what we were doing; although I was sure that Mom knew, she'd never said a word. I fell asleep to thoughts of Edward, nightmares of him and Tanya laughing at me as I told him I was still in love with him mixed with pictures of him taking me in his arms and professing his love for me.

The following day, Mom and I took a trip into Port Angeles to find something to wear to the party. I found a red wrap dress that tied at the side, showing a reasonable amount of cleavage, the length falling to just above my knees. Alice's text of 'go Bella' confirmed that it was totally acceptable and I added the cost to my credit card along with the price of a pair of three inch heel pumps that made my legs look long and slim.

Eight o'clock found me in my room after showering and washing my hair and shaving in all the right places. I had no illusions of anything happening later on, but I knew if I felt sexy that it would build my confidence and I needed that protection for my talk with Edward. I was prepared for Tanya's beauty and determined that it wouldn't affect what I needed to do.

I dried my hair and used the curling wand I found in my closet to give my natural waves some definition, then added some slightly smokier, darker eye make-up than I would have usually worn. Nude lipstick finished the picture and I walked carefully down the stairs to find Mom and Dad waiting for me as the clock struck nine.

"Wow, Bella, you look beautiful; doesn't she, Charlie? Everyone will be surprised to see you, I'm sure."

My breath was coming quickly and my heart was beating a little faster at the thought that I'd be seeing Edward soon. "You go on ahead, please. I need to calm down a bit, so I'll follow you shortly, okay?"

"If you're sure, Bella? I've kept the truck serviced for you and I put chains on earlier today, so you'll be safe."

"Thanks, Dad. I won't be far behind you." I smiled at both of them and stood on the porch as they took Mom's car and disappeared around the corner toward the Cullen's house. I looked out the kitchen window as I drank the water I'd taken from the refrigerator, and watched as the snow swirled in the light wind.

On a whim, I grabbed a coat from from the hook beside the back door and stepped outside the house onto the back porch. I watched as the falling snow began to lessen and eventually stop, leaving a deafening silence behind. From where I stood I could see the head of the trail that lead to our meadow and I had a sudden urge to see it again. Slipping my pumps off, I borrowed a pair of Mom's boots and, closing the door behind me, stepped off the porch into the ankle deep snow. It was cold but not unbearably so. I left footprints in the virgin snow of the yard as I walked toward the dark gap between the trees. The sky had cleared and the moon appeared, giving the snow-covered trees and bushes sharp outlines and reflecting its light off the ground.

Stepping under those trees was another step back in time along a path I knew blindfolded. The snow was much lighter here and the going easy, and it took twenty minutes for me to reach the edge of the clearing; our meadow.

My eyes were immediately drawn to the other entrance to the meadow, and I had to blink a few times before I realized that I wasn't seeing things.

Somehow, Edward was here, at the place we'd always been our happiest; where I'd told him how much in love with him I was.

~oOo~

** Last Chances **