Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Wicked Games, The Weeknd

Nash's bed smelled just like him. I could literally lay in it for hours, just inhaling the scent like a psychopath. Could it be that simply smelling good could make someone even hotter? Because I think I have a case for it.

After I heard the shower running, I collapsed onto his bed. Maybe it wasn't the most appropriate thing to do, but hopefully he stayed in there for a good amount of time. It didn't feel odd, though. I didn't feel like I was invading his privacy as a lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Right now was the only time I actually got to think. All my thoughts were like a circuit running through my brain at ridiculous speeds. I didn't have the time to recognize each one, just random ones for a second. First, being Nash himself.

Or Ignatius? In his fear landscape, that voice sounded so familiar. I definitely heard it before, but it's just slipping my mind. And his fear of falling should have limited him from jumping into the net. How could he have even made it into the compound if you had to jump?

Unless he was pushed. That's always an assumption. Maybe he was a Stiff. That's a definite possibility. He could have transferred from Abnegation, got pushed into the net, refused to get messed with anymore, kicked everyone's ass during training, and everyone forgot about Ignatius and hello, Nash.

Also because he's putting himself through so much trouble just to help me, that is a dead giveaway of selflessness.

How could I not have realized this before?

As if on cue, the bathroom door creaked open.

"I swear to god Theodora, if you're not changed," Nash spoke through the opening and over the rush of the shower. I heard him take a deep breath, turning around to look for something. Maybe a towel? Hell, I wouldn't care if he gave me a second chance to look at his bare body.

"I will personally drag a shirt over your head,"

I laughed at his idea. "Getting rough now, are we?"

He said a few choice words and shut the door in response.

Even though I liked his idea, I decided the best course of action would be to change. I've seen Nash angry, and while it was extremely hot to see him furious, I don't think I'll feel the same when the anger is directed towards me.

I rolled off his best and stretched my arms above my head. My body felt a bit fatigued, but other that, the night has had no effect on me. I waltzed across the room to wear the black drawers were. Opening them up, I got a glimpse of his never ending black t-shirt collection, but I wasn't settling on that.

Beneath that, though, I found things I would never expect to see. Neatly folded white button downs that looked like they haven't been touched in years. They smelt just like him, fabric soft. I could only imagine how he would look in one of these. Dressed up like a Candor in a suit and tie.

Well, I guess that wouldn't be too bad.

I pulled one out and looked at it with a crooked head and smiled. If this doesn't surprise him, I don't know what will. Placing it on the drawer, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, just as the bathroom door opened behind me.

I fought the blush that creeped up my neck, knowing that Nash was getting a good look at me. I have been nearly half naked in front of him before, but this time, it was a real black bra. Not the half tank top that a sports bra is. I knew my hair covered almost my whole back, but I didn't leave him nothing. I mean, I had basically nothing. I was more embarrassed by the fact that he would see that.

But I didn't care. I was taking my sweet time to change, because he told me to.

I grabbed the white shirt, pretending not to hear him. I unbuttoned each button slowly, making sure to not mess up the wrinkle-free material. I moved my hair over one shoulder, hearing the creak of the door again followed by a muffled "shit", and the tap of wet bare feet on the floor.

I smirked to myself, shrugging the button up over my shoulders. I turned to the side and looked over my shoulder, planning to look back at him staring. Maybe even a bit flustered.

But, no. He was staring, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom. His hair was darkened from being wet, dripping water down the planes of his tanned bare torso. Arms crossed in front of his chest, leaving the ridges and muscles of the area below that fully on display. Black pants low on his defined hips.

I wouldn't say he was the one flustered now.

My hands dropped from the buttons of my shirt and my smirk fell. I never thought a body could be as beautiful as a face, but Nash stumped that theory. He was attractive in any and every way conceivable.

And here I was, looking like an asshole with a white button up on, that wasn't even buttoned yet. It was all just a game, whatever was between us. A huge game of Who can outdo the other? And he definitely won this round.

"We need to talk," He started.

"I don't think that's what you had in mind before," I retorted back, fumbling with the middle button of the shirt. I didn't have to look to know that he was heading towards me.

"Listen-"

"What do we even need to talk about?" I asked a lot more mean then I meant to. The truth was, I needed him to tell me. To tell me that there was something else. That it wasn't just a stupid little fling and that I wasn't just one of the girls who wanted to get in his bed. That he felt the same way about me that I felt about him.

"Us," He replied simply. I looked up from the shirt and slowly switched my gaze to him. His expression did not mirror how he was talking. He looked so strained, like he was struggling with something on the inside. Just as I was struggling to keep my eyes on only his face. My body was hot and the tension was so high, I felt it in the room.

I bit my lip and turned to face him before I replied. "This whole us thing," I said, gesturing to the space between us. There was a generous amount of room, actually. He was keeping his distance from me, trying to control himself. And it didn't help that my shirt was halfway unbuttoned.

"I think we're seeing it in completely different ways," I managed to say. My hands went to the bottom of the shirt, fiddling with the fabric.

"How do you think I see it?" He asked, cocking his head to the side. He took a slow step forward that I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't forced my gaze to the floor.

You're acting pathetic.

He would never take me seriously if I just acted like a desperate little puppy, craving affection. I had to show him the person he's been with for the whole time he's known me. Not the girl I'm acting like now.

I looked up at him dead in the eyes. Raising an eyebrow, I pulled the collar to the shirt down, revealing the lovely hickey he left on my skin. His throat bobbed in response as he looked down at me.

"As fun," I whispered, emphasizing the f. If this didn't get him to chirp, I don't know what will.

Nash shook his head and ran a hand through his damp hair. He looked away, mumbling something to himself. I watched the muscles in his arms and back retracted and flex, instinctively poking my tongue through the side of my cheek.

"You scratch my back, I scratch yours, right?" I continued, making sure he followed my gaze to the bed. He furrowed his eyebrows at me and opened his mouth, like he was struggling to breathe.

"Jesus Christ, no," He said, staring me down. He took another step towards me and I took one back. I guess you could call it teasing in a way.

"Then what? I want you to tell me. I don't want to talk. Talking is dead," I cocked my head to the side and ran my tongue along my teeth. Nash sucked in another breath. "I want you to tell me exactly what you're thinking,"

He clasped both his hands behind his head and took in a deep breath, straining an aggravated smile. Stepping towards me again, I began to move back but was stopped when his hands reached for my belt loops and tugged me back to him.

We weren't touching. There was no skin to skin contact anywhere and yet I felt like he was grasping onto me. Like he could move in anyway he wanted. And I would let him. I was frozen, and yet I've never felt hotter in my life.

"You want to know what I'm thinking, right?" He muttered, looking at me dead in the eyes. My lips parted and I nodded slowly. My stomach coiled when his gaze switched to my lips.

"I want every single inch of you,"

My knees felt weak.

"I've never wanted someone more in my life. I don't just want your body. I want you. And its painful to have to look at you and not do something about it. Everything thing about you is addicting. Your thoughts, your ideas, your voice. Even your mind is a beautiful thing, Theodora,"

I couldn't speak. Nothing would come out of my mouth. I just looked at him like he was the only person in the world right now. Because in my head, he was. And the only thing processing in my head was to press my mouth to his.

"Now, I don't want to know what you're thinking. I need to know what you want," He murmured, cool breath fanning my heated face. I knew I couldn't speak without sounding like an idiot and ruining the moment.

So, I simply raised my finger. Not looking away from Nash, I tapped it against his lips, slowly and softly. His breaths were ragged and his muscles strained. On the last tap, I dragged it down his lip. I didn't even get a chance to look up at him through my lashes.

My back was pinned to his dresser with a thump, his hands were in my hair, his lips were on mine.

They were so demanding and desperate, yet they were soft. It was almost impossible to think someone could be this good. Feel this good. My mind drew a complete blank as I was launched into this unreal state of euphoria. I kissed him back, my hands landing on his bare chest. I wasn't surprised that it was slippery from his shower, and yet still burning hot.

His hands tugged lightly on my hair, making me gasp my lips apart. He didn't mind that for sure, meeting my parted lips with his. My heart was pounding, head spinning. I've kissed my fair share of boys, yet Nash must have had many chances to get this good. He knew what he was doing, there was no doubt about it.

His hands moved from my hair, down my bare sides, across my hips, and finally to my thighs. His touch set my skin on fire as he grasped my thighs, and wrapped them around his waist. My back dug into the dresser, but I couldn't register the pain. Nothing was registering in my brain besides unbelievable sensation.

He pulled back for a second, leaning his forehead against mine. Both our breaths were ragged, lips swollen, skin burning. I opened my eyes and saw his were still shut. It was quite satisfying, knowing I was having this effect on him.

In a total act of cocky bravery, I wrapped my hand around his neck and brought him closer to me. But instead of kissing him, I caught his lower lip in my teeth and tugged. And before I knew it, we were kissing again. Except this time it wasn't desperate and frantic. We kissed like we had all the time in the world. Slow and steady. My mind wasn't exploding in feeling, it was savoring the moment.

We stayed like this for a while. My hands were deep in his hair and his were drawing circles on my bare hips. I found myself kissing his jaw at points, hearing a low sound emit from the back of his throat. He would go to work on my neck again, and it felt like we had mapped each other. We knew where the other person was weak, and we dove straight for that spot.

And it was fucking great.

After what seemed like forever, it was a mutual decision for us both to pull back before we made a choice that would probably be a huge mistake. His thumb brushed my cheekbone and he tried to slow his breathing. I played with a few pieces of his hair, forehead against his.

"Maybe," He started, breathless. He opened his eyes and looked at me with that signature expression. "You should stay here,"

My mouth broke into a smile at his idea. I wouldn't mind it, but I know that in the state we were both in, we weren't going to be able to control ourselves. There's no denying that I would enjoy every minute with him that I could get, especially when he has this ridiculous effect on me. But, it needs to be slow. I need to get past my initiation. I need to make sure that I'm safe and everyone around me is as well.

"While I love that idea, I think that wouldn't be the best course of action,"

"It doesn't have to be anything else, you know," He replied, tilting his head a bit to the side. That smirk appeared on his lips again. "Even though that was pretty damn great," I rolled my eyes at him and released my legs from around his waist. He helped me onto the floor gently, and kept his hands around my waist.

"It's late. You can shouldn't have to find your way back. Sleep here, I'll take the couch,"

I raised my eyebrows. "You think I want you to take the couch?" I asked him.

"It's not a matter of what you want. It's a matter of what is the best for both of us," He muttered, playing with the collar of the white shirt. "You should get to bed. It's your initiation, not mine,"

I smiled up at him and placed a harmless kiss on his lips. He backed up, letting me out of the cage that was his body. I stepped around him and collapsed backwards onto his bed. My hair fanned around me and the white shirt opened up near my chest.

"Remind me to be careful when I give you my clothes," I heard him say gruffly as he shuffled through his drawers, probably searching for a shirt.

I leaned up on my elbows and looked at him. "Why?" I asked, innocently.

He turned his head to the side and opened his mouth to say something, but got a good look at me. Tossing the shirt over his shoulder, he began to walk towards the couch. I took the time to admire the lines and ridges of muscle in his back that moved when he did. Wanting to know what they would feel like when my nails dragged against them. I guess he wasn't the only one lacking control.

"Too tempting," He said over his shoulder, disappearing around the wall between his bed and the couch.

A smile spread across my lips as I fell back. We exchanged quiet good-nights and he shut of the lights. I didn't have time to reach for the comforter before my eyes shut involuntarily, leading me to sleep.

So yeah. That was my first time writing a scene like that. So sorry if it sucks or if you didn't like it. There's just been so much sexual tension and it's chapter 21 and hey, why not bring it all together with some heat. Also, this chapter wasn't edited. Oops. Anyways, review, follow, favorite. Do whatever your hearts desire. Au revoir, initiates.