It's been a while. *sighs in disappointment over one's own actions*

Some ideas are mine. Everything else belongs to Veronica Roth.

Can't Stop,The Red Hot Chili Peppers

"Where's Dad?"

I collapsed onto the couch in my parent's apartment. After walking into the mess hall, dressed in one of Nash's sweatshirts, Lily attacked me like a rabid animal. She asked me everything a you think someone could do in the 12 hours they mysteriously vanished.

Of course, I couldn't share with her my "evening activities" that included seeing Nash's fears, watching him knock out a random guy, and then making out with him in his room. I'm not one to share my personal experiences and anyway, it just looks bad for him that he's with one of the girl he has to train. I told her the sweatshirt was Beck's and I just stayed at my parents because they wanted to talk to me about how initiation was going. I'm lucky the collar was high enough to cover the marks

It sucked that that was one of the only times I've ever really lied to Lily.

The decision to visit my parents was really one that was off the top of my head. There was this emptiness that I felt when I thought about them, including Beck. I haven't had a real conversation with him in a while and it was eating at me that it was entirely my fault.

When I took a visit over to the Eaton household , however, the only one present was my mother. Her hair was tied up, and she was busy making her coffee and going over random papers I assumed were important.

"He took Beck out for a run along the tracks," She responded to my previous question, glancing over at me over the sheets of paper. "I heard you weren't in the dorms last night,"

I shrugged and sat up. "If anyone asks, I was with you,"

"And where were you really?"

I tugged at the strings of the hood of the sweatshirt. It crossed my mind if I could actually tell my mom the whole story from the beginning. I mean, she was the one who told me to have fun. And it can't be illegal for someone to show you their fear landscape. In reality, the only person I could trust with my life is my parents.

"I was, uh, with Nash," I mumbled, twisting the string around my index finger. "And please don't get the wrong idea, we didn't do anything. He just-,"

I watched my mom as she dropped the papers down. A part of my brain thought I would be met with a scowl. I was pretty surprised when I saw her eyebrows raised out of curiosity.

"I trust you," I started warily, hoping to tread lightly on the course that is my mom's knowledge of teenagers. "So you have to promise not to tell anyone this, ok?"

"Oh, I won't tell anyone unless it threatens the life of someone else. Did you do something I won't be proud of? Because I will probably tell your father and you already know how that is going to end,"

It was so frustrating to even hold a conversation with my mother because she's always so concerned about the impact my decisions will have on other people. Her old Abnegation always shows through sometimes. More then my dad, for sure.

She never told me much about her life before Dauntless, just that she was an Abnegation with a brother who's from Erudite. Nothing beyond that. I've never met my grandparents on either side of the family. The sad thing was, a few months ago, I didn't care. I was so sheltered from my own life.

Hell, I don't even know if I have grandparents.

"I was with Nash and he took me up to the fear landscape area," I guess that's what you could call it.

My mom raised her eyebrows at me. "What happened?"

"He, uh," I shrugged and made the face I always make when I state the obvious. "took me through his fear landscape," I dropped my voice.

"That's not dangerous, right?" I asked, raising my head to look at her. She was staring at me like I just told her I was marrying him.

Eventually, she shook her head and dropped the papers, getting up from the table and joining me on the couch. Her eyes crinkled at the corners and a little interest sparked behind the eyes I see all the time in the mirror.

"Why did he do that?" She asked.

I couldn't tell her about any of his plans involving plugging his fears in for mine, even though I'm sure that's not the main reason he brought me there. I was better off taking the more romantic approach. My mom was always a sucker for that.

Shrugging, I brought the sleeves down to cover my hands. "He wants me to trust him. I guess showing someone what you're afraid of is an intimate thing. He's, he's something else Mom," Just thinking about him, made my cheeks burn.

"I thought I saw a little bit of your father in him,"

Oh, god. No. She can't compare Father Eaton to the boy I wanted to have sex with less than 24 hours ago. Dear, god. It's just going to ruin the entire attraction I have to him. Just imagining that, it made my face and body cringe.

She must have noticed my reaction because she widened her eyes and frowned a bit. "I probably shouldn't have worded it like that. What I meant to say is that your father actually did the same to me when I was going through my initiation," She laughed at the memory. "I guess most Dauntless men think alike,"

"Was that the moment you realized what you felt for him?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Growing up in Abnegation, I was always taught that you should never put your feelings before someone else's. I never saw anyone beyond who they were on the outside. I never knew what it was like to love someone who wasn't blood," Her shoulders collapsed with a deep breath, her light ponytail falling over the exposed tattoos on her collarbone.

"When I transferred to Dauntless, I could finally think for me. For what I wanted. When your dad showed me him, who he really was, I saw beyond what was there. I guess you could say it was the moment I noticed that there was such a thing as love in this awful world I brought you into,"

Before I could even think of a response to my mom, the door burst open. Lily stood in the doorway with a frantic look on her face. She was panting like she just ran a mile.

"Lily?" What's wrong?" My mom started, getting up from the couch.

"Beck. Nash," She flung her hands around gesturing to something. Her breaths were erratic and her crazy movements weren't doing a good job explaining what the hell she was talking about.

"Fighting. The Pit," She made out, finally catching her breath.

That caught my attention. "Why?" I jutted in, hopping off the sofa and heading towards her.

"Well, I wish it was over me. I mean, seriously, two very attractive young men fighting over a girl is quite intriguing. Sorry if that sounds weird for you Theo. Oh, and you too Tris. I get that hearing your son is one fine piece of as-"

"Lily! Why are they fighting?" My mom interrupted her, opening the front door behind her and moving around her. I followed behind her, walking at a fast pace. Lily was the back, explaining the story while we paced down the dimly lit hallway.

"I heard it was just a stupid little fistfight to let off some steam, so I went to watch with Joseph. Whoever said that was a complete moron. If that fight was letting off some steam, then I own some makeup,"

We turned hallway after hallway, running up steps. How come whenever I'm in a rush, it seems like it takes hours to get from one place to another.

"But you should know, Theo," Lily warned when we approached the shouts that were emitting from the Pit. There was a huge circle of black clad bodies, raising their fists in encouragement. My wrist was suddenly pulled back right before I was about to push through.

"They're fighting over you,"

Lily looked at me seriously, her voice low.

Thoughts rammed in my skull. Beck's either fighting him because he found out about us, or he just doesn't like Nash. Maybe Nash even told him that he slept with me. There were so many possibilities as to why two people I care way too much about for them to be fighting are.

The only way to find out was to hear it first-hand.

I nodded, and turned, pushing my way through the crowd.

Now that my ears were adjusted to the shouting, I was able to notice that some of it was booing. They were chanting stupid things like, "Get on with it!" and "I've seen Stiffs hit harder!"

I probably wouldn't have understood what they were talking about, but the sight before me gave me a better idea.

My brother was shouting at Nash and swinging at him like a rabid animal. He was pushing his way towards him, yelling and swearing at him to stay away from his sister. Which by default, was me.

It was beyond odd to see your little baby brother look and act like he wanted to kill someone. Have the glare in his eyes that would have expected from someone like Mason. I still saw the dark haired kid who would throw sticks with me across the train tracks. The kid I would chase around the Pit, tugging at his shirt to slow down because he was one fast little guy.

And then there was Nash. The booing made sense if it was directed to him. Because every punch, kick, and shove that my brother drilled at him, he would just parry everything and move out of the line of fire.

He refused to hit him back.

"Fight back, won't-ya?!" Beck shouted, pushing at Nash's chest, sending him stumbling backwards before gaining balance again. "Someone pathetic like you. You. Stay. Away. From. Her." Beck spoke between punches, each one deflected the way they were heading.

"God, stop it!"

Nash's head darted towards my voice, his eyes wide. "Theo?"

I regretted the words as soon as I realized the consequences of saying them. Taking Nash's attention away from the fight for those two seconds gave my brother the perfect amount of time to land one right across Nash cheekbone.

I darted forward, ignoring my brother completely and heading straight to the disoriented and unbelievably stupid guy who got hit.

"Theo? What the hell-" Beck started.

"Stop wherever the fuck you are Beck because even though he won't hit you, I have no problem knocking your ass on the ground," I warned looking up at him. My arms reached for Nash's shoulders and pointed them towards me.

"You okay?" I said.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," He responded, shaking his head out and running a hand down his eyes. His left cheekbone was red and already starting to discolor. I'll give my brother that: he did know how to throw a punch.

"Why didn't you fight back?" I whispered, dropping my hands to my sides. Even though the noise level was ridiculous and I had my brother yelling behind me, the only thing that had my focus was Nash.

I looked down at me and blinked several times.

"Because all I could think about was you,"

My heart still jumped a bit, but I rolled my eyes at him. The decision to not fight a fight for a girl can either be described as chivalrous or idiotic and I couldn't pin at the moment which was the right one in this case.

"I just thought, what is she sees me hit her own brother?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I could never forgive myself,"

Over the shouts, I heard Xander call out Nash's name. Along with few choice words I couldn't really make out. I've known Xander for a very long time, but he has never mentioned Nash before. I couldn't think on the spot what could possibly bring the two together.

"I have to go," He swiftly gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you around, babe,"

And with the new name he winked at me and turned around leaving. I was well aware that you could consider that a public display of affection in front of the 50+ people in the Pit, but I was too pissed at the moment to even care. Even with his cute little exit and how he professed his care for me, it still didn't cancel out the fact that he was fighting my brother. And judging by how the fight was going, it was Beck who initiated it.

"You," I snarled, turning around pointing at the little shit. His eyes widened at my tone and his head bowed in embarrassment. "We're going to have a little talk,"