Wow, now this is a surprise.

Some ideas are mine. The rest belongs to Veronica Roth.

River, Bishop Briggs

The plan was set. I was going to head out to the factionless tomorrow night with Beck, Genevieve (who revealed that Evie was the only approved nickname), and a guy named Asher who was more of a man of action than words. We were going to take the train out and hopefully find Haley in the process. It was risky, considering the surveillance at the Dauntless compound has been tight since the incident with Paige. Getting out wouldn't be the problem. Getting back in is going to be tough.

Beck and I were going to arrive first, considering we would have weapons in case we ran into trouble. Evie and Asher would follow and meet us at the segment dedicated to the factionless. There was a solid chance we could miss it, considering it's location is pretty arbitrary. But the entire plan could fall apart at any moment. It was the fact that we were actually trying to get there that drove all other negative thoughts out of the water.

It was the first real step I was a part of, and when I walked into the Pit after getting back from my first official rebellion meeting, I almost completely forgot I still had a life back here too. It was around five, just the time when tons of people started to show up. Either for drinks, fighting, shopping, and everything in between. Myself included.

I haven't really been out in a while. Considering recent events, partying hasn't been a number one priority of mine. And that is such an unfortunate event that the sixteen year old girl on the inside has been screaming.

"And if you look to the left kids, you'll see a rare sighting of a Theo!"

Lily's voice echoed in my ear as her body appeared behind a few guys sharing a bottle in the center of the Pit. She was stunning as always with her hair in a loose braid off her shoulder clad in a black sweater and leggings.

"Theo is normally a very social species but in recent time, it appears she's gone endangered with the introduction of a very hot boy," She quipped, pouting at me, but then coming in for a hug.

I couldn't blame her for what she said. In reality, I haven't been out in a while as I feel like every time I think I can go and do something for fun, another bomb is dropped. And no, not all of that is due to a certain green eyed boy. Nash and I haven't seen each other since the fight between him and Beck. It's not like we've been avoiding each other, but I'll admit I haven't been searching the compound for him. It seems a bit harsh, but my priorities have been elsewhere very recently.

But I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to see him. I ached to just see him. See that crooked grin and those beautiful eyes and everything I find addicting about him. We've been so close that even hours apart felt like days.

"And tonight, I think this particular Theo will go back into the wild," Lily raised a bottle of caramel colored liquid in front of me as an offering. I wasted no time in taking it and taking a long swig, letting the rum burn down my throat. It was well over a shot and well worth it.

"Watch it there," Joseph's voice came from behind me as his arms wrapped around my waist. "From what I remember, you get pretty wild when you down liquor that quick,"

"That's the plan," I said, turning around and giving him a proper hug. It felt good to be surrounded by the people I've been closest to my entire life. And yet, my heart clenched a bit at the realization that they know nothing about me.

I broke free and took another drink. And then another and I kept going until the bottle was halfway gone and my body started to sway to music unconsciously.

I was in the middle of an in depth conversation with a guy I've never seen in my entire life whose face was getting closer and closer to mine when a familiar hand found its way on my waist and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Why don't you go find a girl that's in your league to take home?" Nash said to the guy across from me.

The guy put his hands up in defense. "Hey man, the way she was acting, I thought she was fair game,"

The way I was- oh. My brain and my body were not working well together at the moment, so my self-control was a bit off.

"That's not up to you to decide,"

And with that, he pulled me away before I could interject. We found ourselves in front of the tattoo shop when he turned and faced me.

"Listen, I'm not normally the jealous type-"

I wasn't listening to him whatsoever. He could have called me a skanky bitch and I wouldn't have known. I was just watching the way his lips moved and the pump of alcohol running through my body made me grab the back of his neck and bring his lips down to mine.

At first he was taken aback. He flinched back at the sudden action, and just when I was about to pull back, his hands sank into my hair and tugged me back to him.

Holy shit, I missed this.

My senses were dulled from the booze, so it wasn't as good as the first time, but in the moment, it didn't matter.

But it didn't last long. Eventually, he pulled away, keeping his hand on my cheek, brushing his thumb over my warm cheek.

"Hi," I spoke first, leaning my hands on his chest for balance. The drum of his heart was quick against my palms.

"Hey," He raised an eyebrow at me. "I thought you weren't a fan of PDA,"

"But I'm a fan of you," I slurred out, tapping my hand on his chest.

He laughed and I caught a flash of his signature smile. It was the one that broke down this ice cold shell with ease. And as much as I wanted to deny it, it could be the smile I fell in love with.

"Looks like you had a little bit too much to drink,"

I gasped at him. "Says the guy who I have to carry back to his room,"

"Oh, don't remind me about that,"

Suddenly, there was a loud bottle crash and shouting from the center of the Pit.

What almost sounded like the start of a fight was quickly diffused by bursts of laughter coming from the same areas with compliments of cheering. Honestly, with the state I was in, I wasn't going to bother taking a step in that direction. My body was warm, loose and oh god, I needed to sit.

"I think I need to sit down," I said aloud.

"Great idea," Nash agreed, more than eager to guide me to a open platform away for the more capable out of us.

He sat first, making sure to keep a close eye as I layed down next to him, propping my feet on his lap. It felt like my body was swirling, and I couldn't even tell if the cold cement was my bed or not. In the moment, I felt like my intelligence could transcend fucking galaxies, even though if someone asked me what two plus two was, I would probably blurt out a confident five.

"I thought you could handle alcohol," Nash said, tracing the bare skin from the rips in my jeans.

"Listen," I held up an unsteady finger to gesture him to be quiet. "I can handle anything. I can drive a fucking train right now,"

He laughed, tossing his head back. "Yeah, into a river,"

I joined him, tossing my arms above my head.

"Did you eat something beforehand to soak up the booze?" He asked, moving his hands to the laces of my boots.

"I've been very busy. No time for food," A thought came to my mind and I ran with it.

"Nash, where are you from?"

"Where'd that question come from?"

"It's just," I sat up, now invested in what he had to say. "I mean, you know everything about me and I know nothing about you,"

He avoided my eye contact, as if to hide something from me. His hands didn't move from my laces, twirling the ends around his finger. He took a few seconds to speak, looking into the crowd.

"Aren't my fears enough?" His voice was hesitant, as if he was testing to see if that would be enough for me. Oh boy, it wasn't.

"Why won't you just tell me-"

"Hey, listen, we should probably get out of here, it's getting kind of late-"

With that confirmation, I took my legs off of him. I may be fucked up, but I can tell when some is trying to hide something. I've been doing it for so long now, it's second nature. Beck's words rung in my mind about not trusting him. And for once, beyond the attraction, I could finally see what he was talking about. The hesitancy, the subject changes, it was all too familiar.

"Theo, wait-" Nash pleaded, reaching out for me as I moved to get up. My feet found the ground and I stood upright. Probably crooked if I'm being honest. But, I found myself turning to face him and found him standing next to me.

"I told you I don't like to open up about my past," His eyes were begging me to listen, to stay.

"Nash, I have put my life in you hands. You get that, right? I have allowed you into my life and now you are a part of it because of that. I have opened up to you about everything- fuck it- I opened my god damn legs," I tried not to yell, and I guess I was doing a good job at that because no one was eavesdropping in on our conversation. And Nash was lucky because judging by the look on his face, very taken aback, he wouldn't want anyone to know I was ripping him

"And you can't even tell me what faction you're from? Why? What are you trying to hide from me? Why won't you let me in?"

Silence. I scanned his face for something. But all I was meant with was a clenched jaw and troubled eyes. There was pain, either from his past or from keeping it from me. He exhaled, loudly and brought his gaze down, pupils wide.

"I just- I don't want to hurt you,"

"You don't trust me," I let out, feeling a hint of sadness chain its way around my heart and squeeze. I felt this pain of uneasiness, as though there were pieces to put together that would reveal this puzzle that would solve problems in an instant. But, I didn't want to bother searching for that piece. The sadness turned into a fire of anger inside of me, coming to the realization that I allowed myself to become invested in someone who was a clear as the cement beneath my feet.

"Well, the feeling's mutual," And with that I turned and walked, knowing he wouldn't follow.