A/N Since I have a couple fics I'm updating right now, Monday will be the day I update this one. Vin's tent is actually an Elsa and Anna tent, LOL!
"Vin?" I knock on the side of this faded child's princess tent when she won't answer. "Please, it's freezing out here and I'm worried about you."
The flap unzips.
I try my best to get inside this thing but I'm not exactly a small fuck myself. This will have to do. And my left knee is in my throat. "Vin, I am so sorry. I will make this right for you."
"It doesn't matter," she cries. "The gym filed for bankruptcy. It's closing. I don't have any place to go."
What the fuck? Those crooks. Why the hell did they let me sign up? "Pack your things. Let's go get some food and we'll figure this out."
"I'm sorry I was ugly to you about Ted. I know you were only trying to help."
I cup her freezing cheek. "No. I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to do once I found out. I wanted you to tell me on your terms, but I fucked that up."
"I didn't want your pity. I hate pity. There are so many people worse off than I am who really do need the help."
"Then let me help you so we can hurry up and get back to them, ok?"
Vin takes a deep breath. "Ok," she smiles.
Her safety is my number one concern because this area isn't the best. If she's going to be walking, she needs something clustered together like it was before. Work, 'housing', grocery store. "If you could have any food right now, what would it be?"
She looks out my window as we drive down the highway. "It doesn't matter. I'm just taking in all the sights right now."
What sights? This town we've ended up in is a dump. I keep driving because I don't trust it here.
We end up stopping off at a small burger place.
"Ok, how much money do you have?"
She takes out her coffee can and starts setting it on the table.
One hundred and ninety-two pathetic dollars. I frown because this is nothing. She can't put a down payment on an apartment or rent house. I guess a motel it is, but there's nothing really around motels except for porn stores and I definitely don't want her working there.
Luckily, I'm able to find Vin a motel that only costs her a little over two hundred a week to stay. Plus, with her now having a place of residence, she's able to get a job where some fuck isn't screwing with her money. Across from the motel, there's a salvation army that she gets a job making ten dollars an hour.
"That's seventy-five more cents than the store!"
"I know," I smile. On top of the money she'll be able to keep without that fuckhead Ted.
The motel isn't as rapey as I thought it would be. And Vin gets a complimentary breakfast every morning so I know she is at least getting one good meal.
"This is the biggest bed I've ever seen."
That is a big bed. It would even fit me. Excellent.
Her room is an add-on that the motel just did so no one had lived in it before her. It makes me feel better because I know what people do in these things. Myself included. The room comes with a small mini fridge, coffee pot, microwave, and the normal things you'd expect. Bed, desk, tv, chair. "Listen to me very carefully, Vin. I bought you this safe. You can keep any extra money or personal things in it while you're at work." I show her how to use it. Then show her a few other things like how to brew a cup of coffee. "You get cable tv for free. Do you know what that is?"
She shakes her head side to side.
"You can watch all these channels, except for these in purple. Don't click on these or they charge you $14.99 for the, uh, movie..."
"Ok, I won't."
"Come here, let me show you how to work the air conditioner and heater. You don't get charged for this. Same with your water. You can use all that you need. And if anyone fucking gives you shit, if someone so much as tries to look in that peephole, I wanna fucking know. I'll fucking deal with it." I give her some mace that I bought her. "I also got you this." I hand her the red skull. "This is a self-defense keychain. You put your fingers here in the eye sockets and if someone tries to fuck with you just stab them with the teeth. They'll leave you alone."
She jokingly pokes it into my forearm.
"Yeah, yeah, I can take the hint," I smirk.
"Negan?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you want to stay a little longer?"
Oh my god. Fuck! What do I do?! Where is that fucking devil and angel that pop up on your shoulders? Fuck, just two devils. "I uh." If you say anything other than yes, you're a fucking idiot. "I should really get going."
"Ok," she says. As I start to leave, she moves her arms around me. "Thank you."
I didn't do anything other than what any decent human being would have done. Fuck, I want to stay so bad, but I don't want to fuck things up between us by fucking her. Maybe she doesn't even want to fuck and then I try and fuck her and fuck things up. I'm pretty good at fucking things up.
Instead, I just return the innocent embrace. "You're welcome." I run my fingers through her messy hair. "Good luck with your job tomorrow. I'll come by later to make sure your boss doesn't need his toupee knocked off."
She starts to giggle. "Goodnight, Negan. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight," I smile. Yeah, have fun jerking yourself off tonight in the shower, Negan. Fucking idiot. "Lock the door behind me."
I sit in my car for a little bit and think about what it is I want. The bottom line is that I'm married. Am I really going to leave my wife for this woman? Fuck, does Vin even want that with me? All I know is, I might have been honest with Lucille about Vin, but I haven't been honest with Vin about Lucille. I just didn't expect to have a connection with someone who isn't my wife. Do the right thing, Negan. Don't fuck this up.
I had every fucking opportunity to tell Lucille when I got home. I found a home pregnancy test in the trash can. She must not have expected me home so soon before she could hide it. It's negative. We haven't had sex in almost seven months. I want to confront her about it, but I feel like the longer I wait, the longer I can avoid the subject of Vin.
I hurry into the bedroom when I hear her coming up the steps.
"How long have you been home?"
Long enough to see you're not having a skipper. "I just walked in."
"I need to use the restroom really quick." She locks the door behind her.
I just shake my head and trudge down the steps so I can watch tv. When Lucille asks me if I want to mess around, I just turn up the volume over her voice. I guess I didn't realize how frequently she was running off to see him. There's always this part of me that wants to follow her so I can see what he looks like, but lately, I just don't care. That's not good at all. The words were right there on the tip of my tongue. I want a divorce.
"I think we need to talk."
"Nope. Not now."
"I want to start going to counseling."
"Are you out of your fucking mind? I gave you the opportunity two months ago to work shit out. Now, all of the sudden, you want to try? I'm not going to give some fuck hundreds of my dollars to talk about shit that the two of us are perfectly capable of doing, but we don't. Go tell the sailor your fucking problems. I don't want to hear it."
"I left him."
I throw the remote so goddamn hard it breaks the TV. "Glad to know I'm your backup plan," I snap, slamming the front door behind me.
I could have driven to Vin's, but I don't. I don't even know if I have a right to be as mad as I am right now. I'm fucking around on Lucille. She's fucking around on me. Frankly, I'm starting to feel like the biggest piece of shit because what if I end up hurting Vin over this? Fuck, and now I'm getting pulled over for speeding.
"License and registration."
Shit. My wallet is still at the house. Goddammit.