June 21st, 1984.
13
I wake up and feel strange. There is a pain in my stomach unlike any I have ever felt. I stand up and walk to my table where my special things-my coloring book, crayons, and lion- and cup of water rest. I take a small sip of the liquid, then turn back to make my bed. I freeze when I see it, though.
Blood covers my one blanket. I start breathing quickly. Where did all that come from? I look at myself and see blood on my legs. I scream.
Papa runs into the room and stops, looking at me.
"Calm down Eleven."
"Papa, papa. It hurts." I sob, hunching over myself. I must be dying. So much blood, so much blood.
"Eleven." His voice is sharp but I can't stop crying. His hand smacks across my face and I reel back. Papa doesn't hit me very much. I shouldn't have cried so much. Papa knows best.
"It will be fine Eleven. Come." He takes my hand and leads me from my room. My cheek aches, but I appreciate the pain. It gives me something to focus on, besides my blood on my legs.
Papa takes me to the doctor's room, where I sit on the chair I always do, focusing on regulating my breathing.
"Dr. Brenner?" Mike pokes his head into the room and I flinch slightly.
"Yes. Michael. I need you take care of Eleven here. I believe she started her menstrual cycle this morning. Sort this out. I'll be back in half an hour." Papa walked towards the door.
"Um, sir, don't you think-" Mike starts to say.
"You have an interest in medicine, do you not?" Papa fixes the boy with a look. Mike nods. "Then fix her up." And Papa leaves.
"Okay." Mike wipes his hands on his white coat and finally looks at me. "Eleven is your name?"
"Yes." I nod. None of the other men have ever asked my name.
"Alright. So, Eleven, why don't you stand up, and, um, undress. I'll go get a washcloth." I do as he says. He comes back with several different sized pieces of white fabric in one hand and a damp washcloth in the other.
"Why you pink?" I ask, surprising myself as much as I do him. It is a valid question, though. He has a stranger color in his face.
He pauses in rubbing the dried blood off of my legs.
"Why am I blushing?" He is pinker than before. I nod.
"It's an involuntary reaction. Because you're um, naked."
"Naked?"
"You don't have clothes on, so, uh, your body is visible. Entirely." He reaches the juncture of my legs with his washcloth and pauses.
"This might… tickle." Despite his warning, I still startle slightly when the now cool cloth touches me sensitive skin. His face is redder than before.
Mike finishes cleaning the blood up with a sigh and hands me a pair of underwear with a chunky white rectangle stuck to it.
"This is a pad. It will absorb the blood." I don't know how this small piece of fabric can take care of all what was coming out of me, but I pull the underwear back on nonetheless.
"Why I am bleeding?" I whisper.
"It's your menstrual cycle. It's, um, it's basically your uterus changing out its lining so that if you were to become pregnant and a baby started to grow inside you…" I don't understand any of the words he's using, and I'm sure it shows on my face, as he stops talking.
"It's just a thing that happens to girls." He tells me as he slides my gown over my head.
"Girls?"
"Jesus, you really don't know anything." He sounds upset and I swallow hard.
"Sorry." I duck my head. I am stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.
"No, no. It's just… hard to explain some things. So, um there are two types of people, men and women. Girls are like, young women, and boys are young men. So, I'm a boy, you're a girl, Agent Frazier is a woman, and Dr. Brenner is a man. Make sense?"
"Okay." I say, looking back up at Michael. His eyes are so warm.
"Alright, Dr. Brenner is probably waiting."
"Thank you." I whisper. That is something I know. You always thank someone when they do something for you, like when Papa gives me extra bread, or one of the men helps me with my suit.
"You're very welcome El."
El. I like the sound of that.