A/N This chapter is extremely bleak.
I sit in my leased car in the parking garage for six hours. I think about my students and hope they've been evacuated. Think about how I used to hate paying bills. Now money doesn't mean fuck all. My possessions. Probably all looted. One constant thought is Lucille. The other is Vin. I couldn't protect Lucille, but, maybe, just maybe I can protect Vin. I start the engine and head to the city... it's just... not that easy.
I ran out of gas an hour ago. You'd think, just loot more, but it doesn't work like that. Everyone wants what you have. It's just best to stay in the shadows. People mean the risk of the infected ones. Or panic, or both. There's no more law. No government, and it's only been two days. Some people take it upon themselves to become leaders. I don't care about any of that shit. I just want to get to Vin.
Once I fight my way to her motel, it's vacant. No Vin. Not even that bearded fuck Niko. Am I too late? Is she one of the fire people? One of the infected? Is she like Lucille?
Cell phones don't work. Payphones don't have a dial tone. The TV is only fuzz. The radio is constant recordings. I step outside as I stand in the middle of the parking lot. For the first time in my life, I'm alone.
I follow one of the broadcasts to a city outside of Baltimore. It's too late. The virus has spread, causing the people inside the 'safe' fenced area to turn into some kind of monster. A creature. They decay, but they're not entirely dead. If they bite you, you become one of them. They chase after you, and nothing slows them down except if you put a bullet in their skull. Or an ax. Anything that destroys the brain. The dead seem to be everywhere. At times, they surround me. Still. I'm alone.
My fingers pass through the coarse stubble on my jawline. It's been twenty days. Trying to survive is a lot easier as the population depletes. You can sleep anywhere. Everything is up for grabs. Food. Ammunition. Clothing. But for how long? Once these resources are gone, that's it.
With each day comes a far greater terror than the one previously. I join up with this group. Hopefully, improve my chances of survival.
Today I witness the group rape a young girl. By the time I'm able to fight them off, with the exception of one man who got away, the girl ends her life. I take in my surroundings with a sigh. I'm alone. I'm really fucking alone.
I return back to my home. Board up the windows. Live there for a bit. I occasionally see my neighbor's corpse drift up and down the sidewalk. I could stay here and live out my days, but I can't. Everything reminds me of Lucille. I miss her so goddamn much. I don't want to be alone.
Now that there are even fewer people, I decide to try a car again. You can't get fuel from the gas stations, but there is plenty to siphon.
"Maybe that's our gas you're taking."
I glance over my shoulder at the group. "Maybe you'll be taking my beating in return. I mean. I'll give you a beating. Not that you'll be…" Fuck. "That was supposed to sound fucking clever and it… Let me start over. I haven't spoken out loud in a few weeks."
"Listen, you clown, just give us the gas can."
Once I stand up and embellish my size, that gets the attention my words can't. "There are five of us. We'll fit just fine in the car. Follow me." I notice this fuck named Paul carrying a bat. It reminds me of… best not to get nostalgic at this point.
After two hours of travel, something isn't right with this car. Shit. Black smoke. Fuel is flooding the engine.
The group gets out to walk away, acting like this is my fault.
In this new world, I can be anyone I want to be so I just play dumb. "It was an honest mistake. I thought it was just out of gas. I know fuck all about cars." I'm just scared of being alone at this point. "I found a place with clean beds." That seems to get their attention. Though I'm not one for the small talk at night. Especially when the questions start.
"What about you, Negan? You lose anyone?"
New world. I can be anyone. "No. I'm alone."
Today I shoot my first real game. I don't know if the kill is more rewarding, or the food. "I've never fired a gun in my life. Feels like I've got a ten-foot dick made out of a giant dick that ejaculates dicks. Seriously. Guns are the shit. My dick fires warm, pearly snot wads. This phallic majesty ejaculates hot fucking death into whatever I point it at."
The group falls silent.
"What? Too much dick talk?" I drop my food and grab my gun. "Holy shit! Behind you! Get down!" We're overrun by twenty of these fucks.
Paul, the one with the bat, ends up a human buffet. I use the bat to kill off a bunch of what's left. Fuck. Ironically, the gun doesn't give me half of the gratification killing those fucks with the bat does. I think I'll keep it. "I mean… he ain't using it anymore, right? Right?" I look around when no one answers me. Great. I'm alone.
Today is one of the sickest things I've seen since the outbreak started. And I have seen things beyond human comprehension. A couple purposely pushes their children into a group of undead in a disgusting attempt to survive.
"Come on," the woman says.
I raise my gun and put a bullet into the mother and father. My only regret is the bullet enters the backs of their skulls as they ran so they couldn't feel fear like the children. And, now, I'm alone.
The fuck is WalMart? This place definitely wasn't in my small town. It has just about everything you'd need. Convenient as fuck.
"What about these," the girl flirts I've been traveling with. She holds up about the ugliest set of lingerie, if you could call it that.
I shake my head and go back to looking for batteries. The lustful part of me is still dead inside. Truthfully, I don't know if it will ever-
"Negan," she shrills.
My first instinct is always to help, but something in me just snaps. I walk away from the girl as she's attacked by the dead.
She catches up once I'm outside. "Negan. Stop. It was so fast I couldn't…"
"Fuck you."
"What?"
"You're bit?! Fuck you! Go fucking fuck yourself up your fucking ass, you fuck. I'm sick to death of this shit! I'm sick of you people. You're all fucking weak. All you ever do is die. So go die." I leave her to do just that. Just like all the others. I'll be the last motherfucker left. Alone.
I reach for my gun when I hear something stir in the woods. "Things sneaking up on me in the dark are either dead or about to be."
The guy has his hands out, smirk ear to ear. "C'mon… you weren't going to eat that whole thing by yourself, were you? I'm Dwight. You look like you could use some company."
Hmm. "That a crossbow?"
"Yeah. Sure is."
"Let me hold that fucker while we eat, and half a rabbit is coming your way." I don't give a shit about his crossbow, but this thing will come in handy for trade after I kill him and steal it. He's pretty dense though. And knowing my luck, he'll probably be killed before the night is over. I hand the thing back over. "These arrows… they reusable?"
"Yeah. Couple times. Maybe three. As long as you can get them back. And they're called bolts."
Whatever, it's fucking stupid. I can't remember his name, but he invites me back to his camp. "It's almost dark, stranger. You leading me to a trap? I must warn you, I'm a bad motherfucker who will split your skull the fuck in half if you cross me."
"Understood. I told you, the name's Dwight. I'm not a stranger. And no. No trap. I've got a camp. It'll be safer than where you were. I'm trying to be nice."
People ain't nice. Either it's a trap, or he desperately needs more people. I guess I'm down. For now.
"Negan, allow me to introduce you to-"
"Stop. Don't bother. They last more than a few days, I'll learn their names. If they don't, what's the point? Nice to meet all of you. Carry on with whatever you were doing." I came with Dwight for one reason. A group means a chance to find Vin. Well, I don't see her or that bearded fuck. The group is welcoming despite me being cold, but for how long? How long until the women are used as breeders? How long until the men kill each other for power? How long until the children are used as a distraction to get away from the undead? How long until everyone fucking dies? I might be in a group, but one thing still holds true.
I'm alone.
A/N I suspect a certain redhead is lurking around :)