I turn my head when I hear something beside me. "Vin?" I wipe my face, trying to gain some dignity back.

She has a seat beside me.

All I've wanted is this second chance.

Vin hands over some medical supplies.

I didn't forget about the wound, I just have other things on my mind, but I need to get this bleeding under control or I won't be talking much longer. There's so much I want to blurt out. It's so foolish of me to think that I can smooth things over with her, but, goddammit, I'm going to try. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what I did to her.

"You hurt me."

Fuck. We're not off to a good start. I nod because the lump in my throat hurts too much to speak.

"Why didn't you tell me about her? About… Lucille."

I need to say as much as I can, but be particular about it because I know I have one shot. "I didn't want to be alone, but that worked out as you can see." Fail.

"Did she leave you?"

I thought about lying because I feel like the truth will guilt Vin, but lying got me into this mess. "She died of cancer. The day everything fell to fuck."

"Is that why you started something with me?"

"No. She was diagnosed a few months after we stopped seeing each other. Vin, you were never a backup. Fucking Lucille that day on the desk… I did that because I knew you'd never want anything to do with me again after finding out I was married. I was scared, and it was stupid. The bottom line is, it was selfish. What I should have done is told Lucille to get out. Even if you left me. Because being alone would have been better than hurting you."

"Niko said you called one night at three in the morning."

"It was my birthday and I wanted to hear your voice. Even if it was you telling me to shit off. Does he treat you ok?"

"We're not together. I moved out of the motel and into the one across the street because I didn't want to see you again. He took my old room."

Damn. I spent a lot if time being jealous for nothing. Guess it serves me right. No, it doesn't even serve me right. Niko could fuck Vin and Vin could make me hold her hair and it still wouldn't compare to the shit that I did to her. "I figured you'll probably go your separate ways with Niko, but if you don't you're welcome to stay with my group. If you want me to fuck off, I will. But if there is any chance that I can make things up to you, I will. Whatever it takes. I will spend the rest of my life apologizing to you." It was the most pathetic I have ever been, but I don't care. When she doesn't answer, I sigh and drop my head. "I miss you so goddamn fucking much."

"I miss your car."

I turn to look over at her and start laughing as I sniff up my nose. "I do, too."

"Run out of gas?"

"SUV hit me at seventy miles an hour. It's in that country storage place by the supermarket you used to work at. I couldn't afford to fix it. The doctor said I was lucky to be alive, but I didn't care. I cared about that fucking car. I used to sit in my garage and daydream about it. That day I taught you how to drive was the best day of my life until I fucked that up, too."

"You did fuck that up." Her hand runs through the back of my hair. "But you are lucky to be alive."

I'm so goddamn hopeful and that's a dangerous thing. "Am I, though? Sometimes I truly believe the only reason I'm here is that I should suffer for the rest of my life. For what I did to you. To Lucille."

"To your car."

"I'm being serious, Vin."

"That's a first."

"I love you." I'm slugged right in the mouth.

"How dare you tell me that, Negan!"

I spit blood on the grass. "I know that I'll never see you again after this, Vin. That's why I'm telling you this. That you weren't some fucking affair. You weren't a distraction. I know that what I feel for you is love because I've never tried to fuck you. If you think back to every time you threw yourself at me, I never took it further. I respect you and fuck only knows that I don't respect a lot of fucks. Please. No more lies, I swear to Christ. Just stay. I'm begging you to stay with my group. Vin, please, give me another chance."

A/N I know that I'm really bad with cliffhangers, but I'm curious to know your thoughts. Would you forgive Negan? Should Vin forgive Negan?