"Right, so, here you go!" Kakashi beamed at the disgruntled genin, all of them glaring at him from where they were tied up in a clearing somewhere in the Forest of Death. "I'll be back in a couple days. Don't die now!"

Day 3

"These are edible, right Sakura-chan?" Naruto cheered, holding out a handful of plants to the grimacing girl. They'd been dropped off in this weird forest with giant monster bugs and animals two days ago with only what they'd had on them the day of their second meeting.

Sasuke had stormed off to find a way out, Sakura following him but getting waylaid by a giant centipede. Naruto had burst in screaming about how he was going to defend his precious Sakura-chan, killed the centipede by luck, and had (after some shouting) helped dress Sakura's injuries with medicinal herbs she pointed out and fabric from his bright orange jacket.

"Yeah, those are good," she frowned, taking the reeds, "I can strip off the rough dermis and we can eat the softer core. Between them and the pine-nut stash we found, we should be okay for today and tomorrow, especially with the stream."

"Woohoo! You're so smart Sakura-chan! How do you know all these things?" Naruto beamed at her and she groaned, "Can you be a little quieter baka! We don't need more of those giant bugs coming after us!"

"Oh, sorry," he whispered exagerattedly, the sound probably carrying just as far. Sakura just sighed and slumped, wishing her Sasuke-kun had stuck around.

Day 4

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn."

"Haha! Look whose stuck in a tree! How long you been stuck there asshole? Huh? Well guess what, I saved Sakura-chan and we've had plenty of food! Jerk."

"Stop insulting him baka!"

"Hey! He ditched you and didn't try to help with the centipede thing! Why are you defending him?"

"…Because he's Sasuke-kun! Now get him down!"

"Tch, fine. Crazy woman."

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

Day 5

"Gah! Why are you being so stupid?!"

"What are you talking about? I'm just patrolling!"

"Loudly enough anyone can hear you a mile away, baka."

"SHUT UP TEME!"

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!"

"…"

"Naruto. Stop being so loud, we can hear you just fine, and so can anything else in the blasted forest. Sasuke, stop being so rude, he's at least making an effort. If you don't want to be with the group so bad, then just leave."

Hiding in the trees above them (basically sitting there with a low-level genjutsu on, more for his own peace of mind than any worry over them actually detecting him) Kakashi was pleasantly surprised. Who'd have expected her to snap out of it so fast? Nothing like being abandoned to possible death by a love-interest to squash that particular fantasy.

Day 6

"I can't take it anymore. Sakura! Seriously! Eat the meat."

Naruto had found a group of bug-larvae he'd eaten before (in one of his more… adventurous escapades) and even had whined Sasuke into lighting a fire with a jutsu to cook them. Heck, Sasuke even found some herbs Sakura recognized as cooking seasonings, so they tasted great! Texture was a bit weird, but they were pretty good and great with those reeds he kept finding everywhere!

And Sakura was just turning up her nose at it!

"It's disgusting!"

"It's protein!" Naruto nearly wailed, barely remembering to keep his voice somewhat down, "You can barely walk the whole day Sakura-chan! You have like, zero energy! Eat it!"

"Why are we walking?" Sasuke asked abruptly, looking up from his larvae-steak.

"To get the hell out of – mmpfh!" Sakura began, before Naruto shoved a chunk of cooked larvae in her mouth, which she refused to spit out, so she glared mutely as she chewed.

"Yeah, but we have no idea where we're supposed to be going to get out. This place goes on forever," the Uchiha said, surprising them both with fully articulated sentences. "We should just find a water-source, like that river a day's walk back, and walk along it till we find a securable area. Set up a base-camp or something."

"Huh. That's pretty smart, teme."

"Says the class idiot."

"Hey! Who got dinner? Huh? Don't see you complaining about those pranks and adventures when you're eating the rewards!"

Day 7

"We're here!" Naruto beamed, Sakura mumbling from where she was draped over Naruto's shoulder, having been exhausted after half a day's walk. "Hey teme, we made it!"

"Yeah, I think someone in Kumo didn't hear you!" Sasuke growled, "It's too muddy here. Let's go further downstream and find someplace solid."

"We could always just hide in trees, these things are huge!" Naruto pointed out.

"And we'll climb them that high how exactly?"

"Oh that's easy! Just use your kunai!"

"…Huh."

Day 8

Kakashi was pleasantly surprised. They were all alive. And not only that, they were reasonably codependent. Naruto and Sasuke had built a reasonable shelter, Sakura had been reasonably treated and was identifying edible and non-edible plants regularly, as well as having them collect medical herbs against future use. They seemed to have found some regular food sources, in larvae and fish. Good. Good progress for their first week.

Now for some actual training.

"UP AND AT 'EM!" Kakashi roared, all of them jumping, the two sleeping genin squawking in shock as they jerked awake. He had already healed Sakura's injuries as she was awake and on watch, the girl failing to alert them when she recognized him. He'd have to cure her of that, but for now it was convenient.

"Right. So. You lived. I'm pleasantly surprised," he scowled down at them, "Now that you've shown you're not completely useless, I can proceed to demonstrate how inequitably useless you are. Sakura. Run from here to the river and back, then keep doing it until I say you can stop."

She opened her mouth to object, but his glare silenced her and she mutely took off for the river again.

"Sasuke, climb that tree by pumping chakra into your feet and sticking. Too much, you blast off and blow holes in the tree. Too little, you fall. For every hole you put in that tree, you do twenty one handed push-ups."

He didn't even attempt to object, just going to stare at a tree as he figured out how he was going to do this.

"Naruto. Run through your taijutsu katas. They suck and I will fix them."

By the time the sun rose, Sakura had dropped from exhaustion and only managed to weakly drag herself around the clearing to cool her muscles down, Sasuke had made it halfway up the tree and done so many push-ups his arms wouldn't twitch without extreme effort, and Naruto had finally gotten the first two katas down in the correct form.

"Sakura," Kakashi barked, the pink-haired girl jumping at his tone, and he smirked, "You get to practice stamina this time. Run as much as you can, every day. None of this carrying you nonsense that was going on this week. You walk there yourself or you don't get there. Clear? Good."

"Sasuke. You'd best be getting to the top of those trees by the next time I show up. And who knows? It might be tomorrow night. So get practicing."

"Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke both know these katas. Sakura in technique, Sasuke in practice. By the time I get back, you'd best be able to run through the entire academy sequence with no errors at full-speed. Again, it might be as soon as tomorrow."

"Now, good work kids! You're making progress!" Kakashi beamed before vanishing, leaving a gaping trio of genin in a slowly sunlit clearing.

He wasn't a complete asshole though. He did leave them some ration bars.

Day 11

"We are so lucky Kakashi-sensei didn't come back yet!" Sakura groaned as Naruto tangled his feet together and faceplanted running through the final kata, again.

"This clearly isn't working," Sasuke grunted, "Hey, dobe, spar with me! I'll use academy style too, maybe if you actually see how the proper style works better than whatever the hell you're doing, it'll sink in."

"And I'm next!" Sakura insisted, "Sparring's a different way to train stamina, right?"

"Maybe you should try that tree thing Sasuke was doing," Naruto recommended, "You're really smart, maybe you'll have some ideas how he can get higher, or I can even stick?"

"…Good idea," she acknowledged reluctantly, going to stare at a tree for a while.

Day 13

"Huh. You did it!" Naruto cheered, "You got to the top! That's awesome! And I got through those katas!"

"At three-quarter speed," Sakura refuted from her perch on a tree near Sasuke's recent victory. "So go through them again, and faster! Then we'll spar!"

"I'll keep climbing this tree, make sure it's not a once-off," Sasuke stated, starting his slow walk back down, Sakura racing down easily to join Naruto on the ground.

Kakashi rubbed his hands together in glee, they were coming together nicely. What should he give them to chew on next?

Day 15

"So, you don't suck as badly anymore," he informed the newly exhausted group after he tested them all on their recent progress (in all fields he'd assigned, naturally, as the lesson was teamwork). "Have some chocolate."

"I love you!" Sakura blurted as she stared at the chocolate bar in her hand, before flushing brilliantly at the confused looks the boys shot her and glaring. They quickly turned back to their sensei and decided to not question it.

"Mah mah, you have very low standards Sakura-chan. Now. For the next sessions. Naruto – good job on the taijutsu. Keep practicing it in spars, your bad habits come through. The academy taijutsu is a good basis, we'll develop one more suited to you from those building blocks later on. For now, that will have to do. Sasuke, good on the trees, nice initiative with the jumping and sparring on tree-branches though I suspect Naruto had more to do with that particular development. Keep it up and work on the next stage, which is walking on water. Similar principle. Have at it."

"Sakura, keep working on your stamina and keep up the tree-walking and water-walking. They build up chakra reserves, and yours are pitiful."

"You have three days to make significant progress. If I'm not satisfied, I sic one of those giant tigers on you. Clear?"

"CLEAR!"

Day 18

"Hmmm… adequate, I suppose," Kakashi shrugged, all three slumping with relief at his declaration. "Keep at the water-walking, all of you. Naruto, good initiative on the traps. You get to teach these two a trap each, different for each one, and they have to set it independently before my next visit, which could be tomorrow, could be a few days. You decide what you'll risk for time, because you also need to master water-walking to spar on it like Sakura and Sasuke, and straighten out the last bit of your taijutsu. Bye now!"

He was reasonably content with the fact it only took Naruto until that evening to figure out shadow-clones could teach too. When Sakura got frustrated with hers and dispelled it, Naruto fell through the water he was wobbling on and came up spluttering his own insults, which, after some amusing shouting and dramatic arm-waving, drew the three to the realization shadow-clones could relay information to their originator.

He even came up with more clones for water-walking himself. If he realized that they really helped in chakra control because of their nature as constructs of chakra or if he just thought learning was learning whatever worked remained to be seen, but he would count it as a win for this session.

Besides, Sakura and Sasuke didn't set their traps yet. He'd visit tomorrow and get that tiger on them. They could use the encouragement.