"We don't have any idea where or who," Eiji said, clutching Ash's shoulder.

Ash felt like he was going to vomit. He clenched and unclenched his hands. His mind filled with all sorts of images, memories, twisting and churning.

I couldn't protect my kid.

Yut-Lung looked as if he was in no better shape, covering his mouth and shaking.

We're both still just scared kids ourselves.

Ash wasn't sure how they got to Chang Dai, but suddenly they were there, the familiar smell of Nadia's dumplings and pork filling the air, a steaming cup of tea shoved into his hands. Charlie and other cops were milling around, and Nadia looked down at him. "He's going to be all right, Ash. They both are."

Ash shook his head.

Shorter's voice haunted him. "Ash… I can't anymore… please…"

"He will," Nadia insisted, forcing Ash to look her in the eyes. "You'll save him, Ash. I believe in you."

Her and Charlie's daughter, Gracie, now in middle school, was coloring with Aurora, Xiaoli, and Jingwei, watching them. Relief surged through Ash. Cain and Lao arrived with Alex, Bones, and Kong, all of them older, faces lined, but the same determination Ash had always seen written into their faces. They looked to him, to Cain, to Sing.

"I have people on it," Cain said. His girlfriend headed over to the kids. Aurora threw herself into her arms, crying.

The door banged, and Ibe, Akira, Michael, Jessica, and Max raced in. Jessica had a gun with her, Akira was in tears, and Max headed straight to Ash.

I failed, Ash thought, looking at Max. Dad, I failed.

Max grabbed him in an embrace. "We're gonna find them," Max insisted, voice rough. "I promise you."

"I contacted cops on Cape Cod," said Charlie. "They'll keep watch over Jim Callenreese's communications, in case someone tries to contact him."

Ash hoped he wouldn't call. He did not want to hear any pity in his father's tone, any sense of karma. I'm just like you I'm—

Eiji buried his face in Ash's shoulder. Ash couldn't even comfort him.

"Rebecca Wiley," Yut-Lung kept saying. "The reporter."

"She's not at her address," reported Jenkins.

It had to be her. Ash hoped that when they found her, he got the chance to tear off her limbs.

Blanca arrived next. His eyes widened when he took in Ash's expression, an expression Ash and suspected was a carbon copy of Yut-Lung's in that moment: shining with terror, breaking apart with sheer desperation, the nausea that came from what they both knew all too well could be done to kids.

In the end, I really am no better than my own father. I let my kid get kidnapped.

Jenkins engaged Blanca in a conversation about leads. Ash tried to focus. He couldn't even do that; his brain felt as if it'd been scrambled. Why was he so damn useless? Why couldn't his thoughts go anywhere? His IQ was probably the highest in this place, dammit, and he—

"Ash," Max interrupted his flagellation.

Ash looked at him, empty.

"Drink your tea," Jessica ordered, shoving the lukewarm cup back into his hand. Ash stood in front one of the cracked leather booths, unable to sink into it. Jessica and Max crowded around. Eiji stood next to him, a pillar of support.

"I have to—"

"Function," said Max. "It's gonna be okay."

"You can't promise that!" Ash's voice cracked. "You know. You saw those photos. You know what can happen to kids when they fall into the wrong hands—and if it's someone who knows about me and Banana Fish, what if they do to Griffin and Mingyu what they did to my brother Griffin and to Shorter? What if they—" I can't lose them. Griffin was too sweet, he seemed like he understood the other night, he was good, he was kind, he didn't deserve any of this!

"Ash, stop," Eiji pleaded. "We—"

"I can't." Ash clenched his fists. "Eiji, I—"

"Ash—"

"Yut-Lung knows," Ash said, and Yut-Lung and Sing both turned around. Yut-Lung had been staring blankly into his cup of tea as well. "We both know."

"It's my fault," Yut-Lung finally said aloud. "I knew something was wrong—it wasn't sitting well, that reporter situation—and instead of pressing, I just wanted to pretend it was fine, pretend that nothing like that would happen again—I should have pressed, I—"

"I've been feeling it too," Ash said miserably. Eiji took his hand.

Sing sighed. "We all wanted to believe it—"

"It never ends," Ash whispered. "It will never, ever end, will it? I'm so incredibly selfish for—he'd have been better off without me—"

"Ash, stop!" shouted Max. "It's not your fault."

"It is."

"It is not," Max snapped. "Was it my fault when those men attacked Jessica and Michael? Was it?"

Ash blinked.

"It was mine," said Yut-Lung, getting to his feet.

"It was your brother's, but shut up," said Jessica.

"It's not your fault. The only way you can protect them completely is to lock them inside a box like a pretty bird that's never able to fly. But you'd never, ever do that," Max said. He gripped Ash's shoulders. "Please."

"He's right," came Blanca's voice. "You and Yut-Lung both need to stop blaming yourselves. You have kids. Your kids need you. All of your kids."

"Aren't going to say 'I told you so?'" Ash retorted. He couldn't help it. The coals burning inside him needed to be thrown at someone, or else they'd burn to ash, and he'd be left with just himself, just him, and he was afraid.

"Ash," Eiji said quietly. "I don't blame you, okay?" His eyes were bright, wet.

Ash shook his head. He gritted his teeth. "I—I'm poison for my kids." He might as well be Banana Fish itself, because everything that he'd done and that had been done to him was controlling his kids' lives now too, nightmares coming alive, plunging them into a world they couldn't escape from, no matter how long it had been. It'd be forever. "The fact that he's related to me is what—and Aurora, too—"

"Don't you say that!" Eiji erupted.

Everyone flinched. Sing rubbed his chin. Yut-Lung wiped at his eyes.

"You are not poison for them," Eiji snapped. He glared at Ash. "How can you say that? You're—their father! And you love them!"

"More than anything!"

"Right, so stop thinking they'd be better off without you! Were you better off without Griffin, your brother Griffin? Were you better off without Blanca? Would you be better off without Max?"

"Way to call them all out, Eiji," mumbled Sing. Jessica was nodding in appreciation.

Tears ran down Eiji's face. "Don't ever say that again. Please, Ash. I don't want to imagine life without you, without our kids who are just as much yours as mine. Blood doesn't matter and you and I both know it. They're our kids, and they need us. Please. We have to get Griffin back."

Ash gulped. His throat ached.

"Your kids need you to be strong right now," said Blanca, rubbing the back of his neck.

"What would you know about that?" Ash shot back. His words from long ago lingered. Did I view Aurora and Griffin as my salvation? As a do-over? But they aren't. They're Aurora and Griffin, not me, not my brother, not Eiji or any of us. I only ever—want them to be them.

"A lot," Blanca snapped. He grimaced. "A lot, because I wasn't strong for either of you, Ash, Yut-Lung. Griffin and Mingyu need you, and so do Aurora, Xiaoli, and Jingwei. They're scared. All of them are scared and they need you to be the strong ones."

"My God, he said something good for once," mumbled Max.

Ash narrowed his eyes at Blanca. He had a pile of stones he could throw at Blanca if he wanted to, but there was a look in Blanca's eyes he'd seldom seen before. Openness, unclothed, regret.

"I should have rescued you," Blanca said, looking directly at Ash, his voice thick. "I should have taken you to the Caribbean with me. I should have taken you, Yut-Lung, instead of sending Sing to do it for me. I should have said no when Dino asked me to—I should have tried to protect you from yourself, Yut-Lung, instead of just from assassins and Ash."

"Dude, after all this time?" demanded Sing.

Yut-Lung looked to Ash, his mouth hovering open.

"You love those kids," Blanca said. "And I—do too. So we're going to save them, okay? No matter what it takes. I don't fail missions. You can't control everything, but when we get them back, you all are enough to be their safe place. You don't get to blame yourselves like that. Not when, if anyone should be blamed, it should be me for letting you fight your battles alone for so long."

"He hasn't been alone," Eiji said softly.

"Neither has he," added Sing.

Ash gulped. He looked at Max, at Jessica, at Eiji. And Eiji opened his arms. Ash clung to him. He felt Eiji shudder. Breathe.

You're scared, too.

"Daddy?"

Oh, fuck. Ash cringed, turning to see Aurora peering up at him. Her eyes were red, swollen.

Ash knelt down, pulling her up in his arms. He didn't care how big she was getting. He clung to her. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'm scared."

"I know," Ash managed. "Me, too."

"I want Griffin back."

"Me, too." Ash pulled back. "We're going to do—whatever it takes, okay, Aurora?" I'm going to get your older brother back. He thought of the other Griffin, how he waited and waited for him to come back, how he pleaded with him to recognize him, and all he saw was a shell.

Not this time.

Eiji's words echoed from long ago. You can change your fate. It didn't have to repeat. He could change theirs, too, as much as he could.

God, Griffin, Shorter, help me.

Not my fault. Yut-Lung wanted to believe it. He sat next to his daughter, across from his son, whom Lao held on his lap.

"Daddy, is it my fault?" Xiaoli asked out right.

Sing gaped. Yut-Lung started. "Of course not." He needed to keep it together. For her. For him. For Mingyu.

"I wasn't paying attention during recess," mumbled Xiaoli, tracing the edge of her paper. "Maybe if I had, I could've—"

"No," Yut-Lung interjected, realization surging through his veins and stinging, burning. What am I teaching these kids? To blame themselves? To take responsibility when it's not theirs?

I don't want you to feel like this. The sticky shame, the grime that cut at his skin when he tried to peel it off, the guilt that clung to him. He couldn't bear the thought that Xiaoli might blame herself, no matter what happened to Mingyu, might feel lower than roadkill, might hate the face in the mirror, might think she deserved nothing when she deserved everything.

No matter how much I bleed, I want it gone.

Yut-Lung pulled her onto his lap. "It's only the fault of whomever took her, okay? Griffin and Mingyu—it's not their fault, and it's not yours. It's not your job to protect your siblings."

But at least you want to.

You're good. You're so good, Xiaoli.

"I'm scared."

Yut-Lung's lip trembled. "I am too."

She leaned her head against his chest.

"She'll be okay, Xiaoli," insisted Jingwei, squirming on Lao's lap. Lao winced, letting Jingwei stand up on the booth bench. "I know she will."

He hoped so. Yut-Lung nodded.

"Exactly," Akira assured, Michael holding her hand. Her eyes were red-rimmed.

"You can't know that," countered Xiaoli.

"By God, it's baby you," mumbled Lao to Yut-Lung.

"Evie says so," Jingwei retorted. He folded his paper into a paper plane. "Mingyu will only be gone a few days. And she told me yesterday, so."

Yut-Lung frowned. Sing's eyebrows pinched together.

"She told you?" asked Sing.

"She's not real; she can't tell you anything!" shouted Xiaoli.

"I told you, I drew her enough that she became real!" snapped Jingwei. Lao reached for the paper plane.

Oh my God. Yut-Lung beckoned to Ash from across the restaurant, frantically gesturing him over. He met Sing's gaze, horror settling in Sing's eyes.

"She's not! You just use her as an excuse to tell me and Aurora to go away when you want to spend time alone! And Mingyu always takes your side!" Xiaoli burst into tears.

"Jingwei, does Mingyu talk to Evie too?" asked Sing, controlling his voice.

"Uh-huh." Jingwei nodded, but he looked scared to see his sister crying. "Xiaoli, I—"

"Griffin? Does she talk to Griffin?"

"Yup."

"When did you last talk to Evie?" asked Yut-Lung.

"In his mind," mumbled Xiaoli.

"Mm… last night." Jingwei drove the paper plane away from Lao's grasping hands and into his cheekbone.

Yut-Lung's heart started to pound. "Was Evie at school today?"

"Dunno."

Ash arrived. Yut-Lung gestured for him to bend down, and Yut-Lung hissed in his ear: "Ash... Evie is not an imaginary friend. She's not imaginary, and she's not a friend."

"Huh?" Ash gaped.

"What did Evie talk to you about?" Lao pressed. He finally removed the paper airplane. Ash sprinted across the room.

"I dunno. Mingyu said—she was a reporter." Jingwei tried to grasp the airplane back. "And she told cool stories. About you and Ash being superheroes. Sometimes she talks to me from my window."

Great. Now Yut-Lung wanted to vomit. "Has she ever been in your room?"

"Nope."

Okay, good. Yut-Lung felt relieved. "What did she say?"

"That she wanted to tell the world how cool you are. So then people wouldn't make fun of me or Xiaoli."

Xiaoli's jaw fell open.

"Mingyu and Griffin thought she was—"

"Xiaoli, did you get a look at the face in the window? Last night?" Sing demanded. "From your nightmare."

Holy shit. What if that wasn't a dream?

Xiaoli's eyes widened. "It was a dream!"

Charlie hurried over, dragged by Ash. "What—"

"Charlie, can you show Jingwei and Xiaoli a picture of Rebecca Wiley?" Sing asked, gripping the table so tightly it seemed as if it would snap in half.

Charlie pulled out a photo of a blond lady, young and pretty. Ash's gaze locked in on the face, something bloody and dangerous bruising his irises.

"Evie," Jingwei said. "See, Xiaoli, I told you she was real!"

Real and a kidnapper! Yut-Lung wanted to vomit. If you hurt my daughter, you goddamned bitch, I will strangle you with your own guts. Ash, show me how.

No matter what happened, though, his son was going to be hurt. Evie wasn't the friend Jingwei thought she was.

You hurt my son.

The world wasn't an innocent place.

Sing reached for Jingwei, pulling him onto his lap.

"That's the face," said Xiaoli. "In my window. The ghost in my dream."

"She's not a ghost!" squeaked Jingwei.

"No," agreed Charlie. "She's not. She's a person."

"Jingwei, what else did she say?" demanded Sing.

"I dunno. Last night I saw her and she said Mingyu and Griffin would go away for a few days and then come back." Jingwei's lip started to tremble. "Did I do something wrong?"

Yut-Lung didn't even know how to answer. It wasn't his fault. But they were going to have to reiterate the stranger danger lesson.

Jingwei sobbed, and Sing cradled him against his chest.

"Hey, I know her!" exclaimed Aurora, appearing at the table. She pointed at the photograph in Charlie's hand. Eiji doubled over, Ibe holding his shoulder.

"You do?" Ash eked out.

"Uh-huh." Aurora's chin bobbed up and down. "She was at the art fair in the fall. The one Griffin won a prize at."

For the drawing of us… and Evie...

"Did you ever see her again?" demanded Ash.

"In the library when I snuck away from Michael and Akira, but she just asked me where Griffin was." Aurora stuck her thumb in her mouth. "I said he wasn't there and then I went to find Dad."

How in the hell.

"How did I fail so badly?" Yut-Lung muttered to Eiji. Nadia took Xiaoli, Aurora, and Jingwei for hot chocolate.

Eiji arched his eyebrows.

"Okay, I don't want to blame myself, but someone was preying on my son and daughter right under my nose and I—" Yut-Lung clutched his hair, tugging. "I should have realized."

"So should I," Eiji said miserably. "And it sounds like Evie was originally an imaginary friend."

And he'd encouraged it. Because at least Jingwei had someone, even if it was just a part of himself, who liked him. Yut-Lung closed his eyes. His son was so sweet and so kind, why did the kids at school have to make fun of him just because he talked differently?

It's not his fault.

It wasn't my fault.

Yut-Lung inhaled, remembering all the accusations Hua-Lung and Wang-Lung would hurl at him, telling him it was his blood to be a whore, that he was beautiful for a reason, for a reason they could exploit.

I can't fix things. But I can love him and try to help. And maybe that would be enough. He remembered when Sing showed up at his house, lowered the gun, told him he didn't hate him.

You love me.

And it's enough.

"She can't just be a reporter," Ash said.

"She is," said Blanca, swinging around a tablet. "But her parents are doctors. And her father worked at the hospital where Dr. Mannerheim—"

Ash swore.

"Bad words!" shrieked Xiaoli, appalled as she returned from the kitchen with Nadia. Aurora laughed and started repeating the word.

"Not now, Aurora," hissed Eiji.

"But then—" Ash turned and met Yut-Lung's eyes.

She would have been looking into Banana Fish. Not for a story. Or for a different kind of story.

She wants to find it.

"There's none left," Sing managed. "I dropped it into the flames; nothing could have survived that! They couldn't even identify Golzine's bones! The entire hospital went up in flames!"

"It was an inferno," Cain agreed.

"What if they don't know that?" asked Charlie.

Everyone turned and looked at Yut-Lung. "Oh, fuck."

"Is there something you want to tell me like ten years ago?" Ash asked.

He scowled. "No. It's all gone. But I do have records of it. And—okay, I used it on Hua-Lung, back when things were still—Sing's told you that, but—I don't see how they could have gotten wind of it."

"Hua-Lung's in a facility," said Sing. "He's been there for over a decade." It would have been a mercy to kill him, but Yut-Lung couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd done enough.

"No one has asked questions?" demanded Ash.

"Not that I've heard, but I don't exactly regularly visit him." Considering he was the man who raped Yut-Lung.

"I don't blame you," Ash said quickly. "It just explains things."

"It looks like she did a story on nursing homes," said Blanca. "It's entirely possible she visited the one Hua-Lung is at and recognized the symptoms from her father's descriptions, or it's even possible she did an internship or volunteer work, since she would've been in high school at the time. Her father's also apparently lost his medical license for drinking on the job. Five years ago, from the look of it, and her parents are divorced as of three months ago."

"Fucking bitch," muttered Jessica.

Yut-Lung squeezed his eyes shut. Of course Hua-Lung was still managed to fuck up his life even now. And Yut-Lung's own past was haunting him. He gritted his teeth. "How about locations? Do we have any clue where she might be?"

"I have an address for her father and one for her mother," said Charlie. "And I'm sending officers to interview people who've worked with her, as well."

Yut-Lung paced. "What's the address?"

"Do not ask me that."

"What's the address?" repeated Eiji.

"Not fair." Charlie scowled. "The police are already on their way. We'll—"

"I don't trust the cops," Ash shot back.

Charlie closed his eyes. Nadia shoved another cup of tea into Ash's hands.

"There's a plane leaving from a private airport an hour north of here, scheduled later tonight," reported Blanca.

"Huh?" Yut-Lung rushed over. "What—"

"I found it on the dark web," said Blanca. "You know. For assassins." He swallowed.

"Oh my God," said Yut-Lung. "Is there—activity—in this area?"

Blanca nodded.

Eiji let out a cry. Ibe had to hold him up.

"They're dead," whispered Yut-Lung. "Rebecca Wiley and her father, aren't they? And my—my—"

"We don't know that!" managed Charlie.

"Charlie," said Ash. "I have to go."

"No, Ash, you don't."

"He does," broke in Sing. "And so do I. That's my daughter we're talking about!"

"And my son," Ash managed. "I can't just wait around, I can't, that's my—" He gripped Eiji's shoulder.

Charlie opened his mouth. Jenkins groaned.

"Asking us to trust the police isn't the same as asking us to trust you, and you should know that," said Ash. He folded his arms.

"I can't agree," Charlie said helplessly. "But you've got a professional former assassin with you; I can't be held responsible for what I can't control. And the cops aren't aware of the airport."

Yut-Lung turned to Sing. He bit his lip. I'm no good in action. Eiji appeared to have the same thought. He looked to Ash.

Yut-Lung didn't trust the police, but he did trust Sing. He squeezed Sing in an embrace. "Get her back safely."

"I will," Sing promised, voice trembling.

Yut-Lung could use a glass of wine right now. But he avoided drinking after Sing confronted him about using it to dull his feelings years ago. But right now he felt lost at sea, floundering in a storm, sinking.

Mom…

I couldn't save you.

I want to save her.

His voice echoed from years and years ago, another time, another victim. You're weak when it comes to your loved ones.

I've always been weak when it comes to them, too.

I don't care. I don't care. I'll be weak. Because he was stronger, too, and where he wasn't strong, Sing was. His brothers always scoffed at him when he looked to their wives and kids as if expecting them to treat him with any compassion, to cut him a night off, to deal one less bruise. You are a Lee. You are a dragon.

You are a devil, a snake, a lynx, a leopard.

No, we were only ever human.

And humans are weak, and yet. His mother might've been able to run, if it wasn't for him. But she didn't, for him, reaching for him, screaming his name.

We are weak, but being human is better than being strong.

Let her be okay. God, please.

I want to hold her in my arms again.