I itch my dick through my pants for some kind of relief. Turns out, that plant really was poison ivy. I didn't wash my hands and jerked off that night because I was so turned on from all that tight hole talk. Now, three days later, it's spread everywhere. "Stupid bullshit cock itching plant..." Fuck! "What," I snap at Dwight. "You wanna give me a hand? Because you're looking at me like you want to."

"We're, uh. Ready, Sir."

"Start without me." God fucking forbid people do manual labor without my guidance. Today, we're capturing undead and restraining them to the fence to use as a deterrent from both the living and the dead. Well, my men are. I'm going to find our doctor. "I got poison ivy on my dick," I tell her.

"Pants down, let me see."

"What's there to see? It's fucking red and bumpy. I need you to fix this." Fuck, fine. I unzip my pants and tug myself free. Too bad Vin wasn't a nurse. Yeah. Fucking titties out in some white tight uniform. We could role-play a bit— "The fuck are you stroking my cock for?"

"I thought you wanted me to," she blushes. "You started to get hard when I put the lotion on."

Don't shit up. Especially with you having the kind of control you do over this group. The advances you'll get. I already see the way some of these women want you.

Fuck, she was right! "I was hard because I was thinking about— nevermind. Give me that goddamn shit." I swipe the bottle from her, stuff myself back in my pants, and hurry to find Vin. I barge in her room. She's sewing some of her ripped jeans. "I got poison ivy on my dick and asked the doctor to take a look at it and I started thinking about us role-playing and it turned me on, and, well, she starts jerking me off because she thinks I'm into her. I swear to god I didn't fuck her. You have to believe me!" I start itching my dick.

"Calm down and take a breath," she tells me. "I believe you."

Her trust feels so fucking good. And the itching, oh yeah. That feels good, too.

"Stop scratching. You'll only spread it."

"It itches," I frown.

"Come lay down."

"On your twin mattress? Me? You do realize I'm six foot eight." Wait, why am I questioning this?! I'm beside her, feet hanging off, taking up the majority of the bed. Vin makes me this paste out of baking soda and water which I'd try and use this to my advantage by making her apply it, but I don't want to traumatize her with my dick right now. Instead, I turn over to apply it to where she can't see. "Find anything?" She's really good with that map shit. We found all these pamphlets in a hotel scavenging that she's piecing together.

"There's Costco near. They sell bulk goods from what I gather. It's probably picked through, but it's worth a shot."

I'm not listening to a word she's saying after that. I'm just thinking about how soothing this shit is she made. "Alright, we'll plan a run."

"You sound exhausted."

"I am, but there's too much work for sleep."

"Well, get your hand out of your pants and let's get to it."

"God, you're fucking annoying. You actually annoy the fuck out of me."

"Is that possible?"

"Yes, and you did it."

"I suppose I'll find someone else to satisfy my desire then."

"Shut up!" I shake my head because I can't even with this woman. I know I give her shit for her mouth, but I appreciate levity. Especially, nowadays.

It always blows my mind how dedicated Vin is to the task at hand. While my men are crying how hungry and tired they are, she's still working her fucking ass off.

"Negan, I really think we should use this as a guard tower," Dwight reiterates.

"For the last fucking time, no. We'll tear it down and burn the wood. It's fucking dry rot to hell. Termites. No goddamn way. Leave it alone." You know those moments where you get to say I fucking told you so? Yeah... I turn my back for a motherfucking moment, then hear Vin scream, followed by the collapse of the tower. "Goddammit," I hiss from across the way. As I get closer to the debris, that's when the crowd gets thicker, the panic louder. "Vin," I scream. This tower came down alright. With Dwight fucking on it and Vin under it. "Fuck!" I shove Connor and Simon out of the way and start throwing rubble any which way to get Vin out.

Dwight apologizes, not a scratch on him.

I'm in a goddamn nightmare. It's like a drunk driver who kills the other driver and gets away without so much as a scratch. When the piece gets moved that finally comes off Vin, she's unconscious. I'm apoplectic. Especially after finding her glasses crushed. "You son of a bitch. Get the fuck out," I scream at Dwight. It takes eight people to keep me from pummeling Dwight, but that doesn't mean I don't get in several hits, including the one that knocks him the fuck out.

"Negan, she's not breathing!"

I don't know if Sherry said that as a tactic to get me off Dwight, but it works, and luckily I find a pulse on Vin. What if her fucking neck or back is broken? I touch her bloody cheek, lowering my head in failure. "Please wake up," I beg. Don't do this to me. Don't take her, too.

"Negan…" Vin murmurs.

Thank god. Thank Christ. "Vin, I'm here." I brush her cheek.

"Closer…"

I lean down more. "Yeah?"

"Closer…"

Huh?!

"You didn't wash… your hands."

I jerk back up confused. "What?" Is this the concussion talking?

"Your poison ivy dick hand… it's touching my face…"

"Goddammit, Vin! Fuck!"

She snickers painfully.

"Where's the doctor," I demand as my men scatter to find her.

"...no. She'll jerk me off."

"Will you go back to being unconscious? Jesus," I laugh, but my laugh stops entirely when she asks for her glasses. "They're broken…" Beyond repair. "Can you see me?" For once, there's no retort like, unfortunately. Instead, her face becomes concerned. "It's ok, Vin."

"Negan, I can't see without them!"

"Well, duh."

She doesn't find it funny. In fact, it's really not funny. Without a backup pair, she can't see fuck all.

"Just don't move. We'll worry about your glasses later."

After the doctor examines Vin, I feel better knowing she's not in some plastic neck brace or telling me this woman will never walk again. I brush Vin's red hair to the side, only to reveal dried blood down her face. "Give me a wet rag," I tell the doctor. I take the cloth and clean her cheek and forehead as the doctor excuses herself. "All better," I smile, trying to keep it together.

"Negan, I can't see you."

I get down on one knee and move closer to her. "Better?"

"Blurry, but better," she smiles.

I lower my head against her forehead. "I'm so fucking sorry, Vin." I've never been there when this woman has needed me.

She grabs me by the scruff of my neck. "This isn't on you. Most people tend to run from a structure that collapses. I froze, and this is the consequence."

"I was so scared as I dug through that rubble. I thought I lost—"

"You didn't," she whispers. Her arms hug my neck.

I tuck mine under her for an embrace I hope isn't too uncomfortable. I kiss some of the naked skin of her shoulder from where her shirt tore.

She gives the faintest moan.

My lips move up her neck, touching her ear. "I'll go down on you."

"It's not your tongue I want there."

I think I'm blushing. Good thing she can't see. Goddamn poison ivy dick! "Fuck, I want you…"

"Then keep your hand out of your pants so it heals."

"Wanna jerk me off with some of that cream?"

"If you don't mind splinters."

Jesus, her poor fucking hands. I spend almost forty minutes digging splinters out, and I've got some of my own. I should leave them in so I keep my hand off myself. "I know you don't want to live with me, but maybe it's a good idea until we find you new glasses."

Her somber expression is turned my way. "Negan, I'm not stupid. We're not finding glasses. I just need to learn to live without them."

We will. I will. I will find her a pair no matter how long it takes. I'm not going to let her be robbed of something else because of some idiot. "I'm going to exile Dwight."

"Don't do that. I'm sure he feels guilty."

He's going to feel my fist again if he wakes up. "Your eyes aren't as big without your glasses," I joke. "They're pretty."

"I've always liked your eye color."

"We have the same eye color."

"Shit brown, yeah."

"Pink eye shit brown," I laugh.

"We're both full of shit."

"Are you going to come fucking live with me or not?"

"Shit, no."

"I never should have taught you how to swear." I carefully help her sit up the pick her up my arms.

"Oh my, your strength always catches me by surprise. I can only imagine what it's going to be like when you ravish me."

"How the fuck am I supposed to keep my hand out of my pants if you keep talking about getting ravished and tight holes?"

"Have you always jerked off this much?"

"Of course, I was married."

"Marriage sounds awful. Like that Christmas thing."

That reminds me. I still wear my wedding ring. After I set Vin in my bed, I look my wedding ring over. Oddly, I only recently started wearing it again, but I think it's because being in this factory is the first time things have felt normal again. I slip it off and put it inside the small drawer of the nightstand.

"It's warm in here."

"Fireplace."

"What's wrong? Your voice is off."

I take a seat on the bed. "You ever notice I still wear my wedding band?"

"Just that time in your office."

Christ, let's not rehash that. "Well, I took it off. For good this time." I don't know why I'm telling her this.

"Only if that's what you want."

"Look, Lucille will always be special to me. I'd be lying if I said she wasn't. I do think about her from time to time, but mostly regret for the way I treated her. The ring needs to come off so I can fully give us a chance. Well, if you ever allow that."

"Come here." She stretches out her arms at me.

I rest my face between perfection. "The day I can do this without you wearing a shirt I'll die a happy man. Oh, what," I yell at the knock on the door. I almost rip it from the hinges. "You," I snarl at Dwight.

"Please don't hit me."

Fuck him, and I hit him anyway. "I should gouge your eyes out!"

Dwight is slow to get back to his feet, but manages. "I just wanted to apologize for hurting her. I didn't know she was under it." He starts to blubber like a child.

I turn my lip up at him. "Good god, pull yourself to-fucking-gether."

"I wanted you to know I'm sorry."

God, he's pathetic. And I can't get the image of him fucking Lucille out of my head. After I shut the door, I rub my brow and close my eyes with a sigh. "I fucked Dwight's wife Sherry. Maybe five months ago. When I first found their group. I know you and me weren't together, but you have the right to know. I'm a pig."

"I see." She drops her head some. "To get back at me?"

"No. To get back at him."

"I don't understand. Are you bisexual?"

"What?! No! The fuck?" I run my hands over my face. "Look. Before I met you, Lucille was having an affair with this guy I called the sailor..." I explain everything to Vin. And even the parts that I've never told anyone, like how much it hurt. How impotent I felt. Especially now seeing him and knowing that my Lucille went from me to that. I have a seat on the bed with a heavy sigh. "Do you hate me?"

"No."

Well, that's… surprising. "Are you mad?"

"Negan, we weren't together. It's none of my business. With that being said, I feel sorry for you."

"Don't. I bring this all on myself. I fucked my share of teachers behind Lucille's back. Women at away games. I guess this one just hurt more. Because I am twice the man that Dwight is. And I'm way fucking better looking. I mean, look at him!"

"Maybe that's not what Lucille was looking for. Dwight provided something you couldn't. Just like I was something Lucille wasn't. You are very handsome, but, Negan, I'm frumpy. Average. I was what you needed despite my looks. Just like Dwight was what Lucille needed despite his."

Damn, I didn't think of it like that. Christ, I love the way she puts shit into perspective. "I'd say you're fucking blind if you can't see just how beautiful you are, but that's technically the truth."

"There you have it. Perception. And stop buttering me up. I told you, I'm not mad."

"I'll admit, frumpy was my first thought, too, but so was fucking you. Anyway, I expected you to be pissed about this Sherry stuff."

"Why did you stop seeing Sherry?"

"Like I said, to get at him, but I just got to this point where I couldn't even get it up. I felt disgusting."

"It must have been pretty bad if you didn't have an erection."

"Wh— I don't always have an erection!" Ok, even I know that's bullshit. "Maybe I have some like medium softness going right on right now…"

"I wish I could see it."

"You could touch it if you want." I can't believe that left my mouth. I mean, you know it's raunchy if I'm fucking surprised by the shit I say.

"Alright."

"Seriously?"

"Well, over the pants."

I think back to that night I took off her pants for super boner strength. "Ok, I'm ready."

"I'm actually not," she blushes. "I know I talk a lot of shit, but I—"

"Vin, it's alright. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and especially if you're not ready."

"Does it hurt? Sex?"

"Yes, no. It really shouldn't if we go slow, and you're… well… aroused. If it hurts, we stop. Your first time is going to be more awkward than anything. You're naked in front of me. All those insecurities make you even more nervous. Society puts too much pressure on virginity in general—" I look down to see her hand on my thigh. Higher, please go— "Fuck," I moan when her fingers trail my denim arousal.

She gets nervous and shies away.

Shit! "You ok?"

"That wasn't your knife poking me on Christmas, was it?"

"No," I laugh. "It wasn't."

"Well, congratulations on that. Now I'm certain it's going to hurt."

"I've fucked a lot of women and I've never had one of them—" Idiot! "That's not what I meant," I frown.

"How many do you think?"

I really don't remember. "Maybe forty. Probably more." I've never really felt ashamed by it until now.

"Are you sure that's poison ivy on your dick?"

"Yes," I laugh.

"I guess I'm making too big of a deal out of sex."

"Vin, I thought about what you said about being honest about the things I like. I spent a lot of time constantly searching for that someone to be all the things I want in bed. That I need in bed. I've never found it with anyone before. And unfortunately, the only way to find it is to fuck. A lot."

"It must be frustrating. To not have what you want."

"It is." And I'm not talking about fucking right now. I'm talking about her. "Will I ever be able to call you mine?"

"I'm in your bed."

"You wouldn't be if you had your glasses."

"Negan, my glasses are gone, but I still have my free will. I wouldn't be in this bed unless I wanted to be."

I pick my head up some and lock eyes with hers as I start to smile. I know she can't make it out, but every month we make more and more progress. This time, I get to do things right. Be all the things I never couldn't or wouldn't for the others. Goddamn, poison ivy.

A/N Updates will go back to every Monday now.