A/N: Am I on crack? I don't think so, but somehow I am just PUMPIN out these chapters despite having disappeared for almost a year and then having lost my entire story document. Am I mad? No. Well maybe a little, because this is entirely me procrastinating my actual book I'm supposed to be writing, buttttttt. Here we are. Rewatching the show got me fueled, methinks.

Hope ya'll enjoy, and remember, reviews are love!

x

solangewrites

November 8th, 1984.

14

Max is doing 'make-up' on me today. It makes me look… not much like me. I've never looked at myself much- there are almost no mirrors here- and I can't decide if I like it. I don't recognize the girl with red lips and pink cheeks and eyes that, thanks to what Max calls 'I-shadow' and 'moose-scare-ah', seem ripe to pop out of my head. Until Mike comes in and looks like he can't breathe at the sight of me.

"Wow, El." Mike says with a smile. "You look really, really pretty."

"Thank you." I whisper. I decide I like make-up very much. Although it does make me feel kind of nervous, maybe even a little sa- now he has seen me 'pretty' won't it be such a letdown to see regular old El again?

"I mean, you always look- but. I mean. Wow." He runs a hand through his hair and my heart stutters at the sight.

"Is that good wow?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. He laughs. Max groans and his cheeks turn red as a crayon. He spends a lot of time in that state.

"Yeah." He says it so quickly that the word practically melts into his next sentence. "Hey, did you get a chance to look over that pop culture handout I gave you? The one about Sixteen Candles?"

"Yes. Sam stupid." I inform him. Mike frowns, but in a good way. The way that means we are going to have a discussion.

"Why do you think that?" He asks, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. Max rolls her eyes but either he doesn't notice or he doesn't care. Probably both. Max and Mike don't particularly get along. They don't fight or yell or anything, but there's an uneasy current between them.

"If she like Jake why she not just tell him?"

"Well, he was dating-"

"What's sex?" I blurt out.

"Uhm." Mike's face is pink again. I wonder if my face ever looks like that around him. Max makes a sound that sounds suspiciously like a laugh.

"It's when two people who like each other use their bodies for pleasure. Together." Max explains casually.

Mike sighs as if the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders.

"Pleasure?"

Mike groans. "El, it's like. So they kiss? It's like that but more extreme."

"Kiss?" I didn't see the movie. Not allowed. Mike just has them written up like stories, and that way I'm practicing my reading too. But it seems kind of silly sometimes. I don't know a lot of the words and me and Mike just end up talking about it.

"Like this," Mike presses his lips against his hand in a curious way. It's brief and… just his hand, but for some reason it makes my stomach hurt to see it. "But with um, someone else's lips. Against yours."

"Why do people do it?" I ask. It certainly makes me feel something, to think about someone's-Mike's- lips on my own.

Max seems to take some pity on him and spins me around to face her finally. She examines her handiwork and smiles ever so slightly.

"Done. I'll go get Doctor Brenner."

Max leaves and it's just me and Mike.

"Mike." I say, hardly knowing why. He doesn't question my lack of question.

"El." He replies. We smile at each other from across the room. For a couple minutes it is peaceful. Then Papa is here. I have begun to realize that Papa is Mike's opposite. In the way he makes me feel. That is wrong of me, I know, to feel the way I do about my Papa. But I can't seem to help it. All my affection goes to Mike without a thought. I think of him and I feel warm. I see him and I feel safe. Papa is cold as can be.

I don't know if it's related to my powers or anything, but I feel when he comes in. The tension in the room shifts, ever so slightly. I straighten my spine and drop the smile from my face and hold very, very still.

He comes very close. I can't see Mike anymore. Only Papa in my range of vision.

"Perfect." Papa breathes. He comes up and strokes my cheek, turning my face from side to side to examine every bit.

"Stand up." He commands me. I do. Now I see Mike. Not thanks to my height- I've grown upwards, but just barely. They don't seem particularly concerned with height, in any case. But my measurements are taken very carefully. They want me wider and thinner in certain parts and every so often my food, my training shifts and I know it is to make me just perfect in their eyes. There was some talk of surgery on my stomach. There is some scarring there. I don't remember what from. I don't think I will let myself remember. They decided against it, though. Too much risk.

Where was I? Mike. That's not a surprise. It's always Mike. He's as tall as Papa now. It's a funny thing to see. The two of them tower above everyone else in the lab. Looking at either of them hurts.

"Excellent." He kisses the top of my forehead and I stiffen instinctually. "Continue with your lessons. I will see you this evening, Wheeler."

"Yes, sir." Mike replies in a flat voice.

Papa leaves and Mike and I both stare at the ground. On an impulse, I stand up and walk over to him.

"Hi." I say. His eyes crinkle up as he looks down at me.

"Hey."

"Wanna do it on my cot?" I ask. I figure it'll be more comfortable to sit there rather than the table. Mike flushes crimson.

"What?" His voice is high pitched and I frown.

"Lessons?"

"Oh." Mike says, looking both disappointed and relieved.

"What'd you think I meant?" I ask, curious. He shrugs and I leave it at that.