Chapter 19
"Oh God...I can't…"
"Yes you can, Haruhi."
"Please! I need to stop!" she begged.
Haruhi was between them, drenched in sweat, her mouth gone dry.
"C'mon, Haru-chan, you're almost there...I promise, you'll feel good…" Honey encouraged. But Haruhi felt she had reached her breaking point. She thought she knew pain, but this...she couldn't take it. She felt her legs begin to buckle.
"I can't…" she felt she might choke, as she tried to get a breath in. Then she felt a strong grip around her bicep.
"Yes, you can." Mori said as he pushed her further.
Feeling her heart might explode in her chest, Haruhi pressed on. After what felt like an eternity...they finally finished. They made it back to the gorgeous veranda along mansion over viewing the gardens. Haruhi stopped and dropped her hands to her knees and hung her head trying to catch her breath, while Mori and Honey, continued a few more paces till they reached the porch.
"You alright, Haru-chan?" Honey called cheerfully.
"Honey-senpai…" Haruhi still had yet to look up "...one more word…" she panted "...and I will...kill you…"
Knowing that she was speaking out of pure exhaustion Honey only smiled. He poured some cold water from a pitcher that was just set out for them and brought her a glass, which she chugged in about 5 seconds. Her blond senpai rubbed her shoulders soothingly. After a few minutes Haruhi straightened her stance and was able to breath deep again.
"Fucking cardio…" she breathed.
"It'll get easier, Haru-chan. Soon you'll build up your endurance and running will be a breeze!"
"A breeze...right…" Haruhi nodded and took a step towards the porch "Can we sit a while?"
Honey caught her by the hand before she could go any further. "We better stretch first." he said "You're muscles will stiffen up really bad otherwise. Let's go over there on the grass!"
With an exhausted nod, Haruhi let her senpai lead her to the grassy lawn and their silent companion followed. Once seated on the soft green, she immediately felt herself relaxing. She started spreading her legs as wide as she could in an almost split position, and Honey helped by pulling her arms gently as she leaned into the stretch. Haruhi sighed, feeling it in her center and thighs.
"Is this ok, Haru-chan? I'm not pulling too hard?"
"No, this feels good. Frankly, I think I've needed stretching for days…"
Her mind began to wander back to all her previous activities, in the bedroom and the gazebo. She shook her head trying to focus on the task at hand. Honey let go of her hands and she leaned over to her right for a 30 second stretch, then repeated the same on her left.
"You're probably right…" Honey said "We probably should stretch you regularly." He smiled.
"Hm..." Mori agreed.
"Apart from the run, are you feeling alright?" Honey asked, a bit more somber.
"Sure, I'm alright. Why?" Haruhi looked to Honey then Mori, her eyes now looking a bit puzzled.
"Well…" Honey hesitated before looking to Mori.
"He's concerned about Tamaki upsetting you," Takashi explained.
Haruhi shook her head and tried to wave off their concern. "You two shouldn't worry about that…I was a bit out of it due to...well, you know...it was just bad timing."
"True, his last visit was unannounced. But Haru-chan, we can't keep chasing Tamaki out forever. He's already getting suspicious."
"I know, I worry about that too. But what am I supposed to do? You saw how quickly he freaked out at Kyoya's house. You know Tamaki, he takes everything to the umpteenth level!"
"We know," Mori assured "And we don't expect you to handle the situation by yourself."
Haruhi shifted into a comfortable cross legged position, giving her friends her full focus. "What do you guys have in mind?" she asked.
"We were thinking it would be a good idea for us all sit down together and talk to him." Honey explained "Kyoya would join us too. Then Tamaki can see that you are, in fact, recovering.'
"Well that's all well and good, Senpai, but am I actually recovering?" She looked from one young man to the other. "I've barely had one therapy session and it appears I have become some sort of oversexed freak! Tamaki will never accept it…"
Sensing her temper rising, Mori reached over and placed a large, gentle hand on her shoulder. She immediately relaxed in response, feeling the warmth of his fingers seep into her skin. Tranquility winning over frustration, Haruhi breathed a sigh - How the hell does he do that?
"...Anyway, if you all are there, I suppose I can manage a talk. I just...I wouldn't even know where to begin telling him. I hardly know how to rationalize it with myself."
"We understand, Haru-chan. But don't worry, we'll all be there to help. And if it turns out to be too much, you can leave the room and Takashi, Kyoya and I will take care of it. In the meantime, you should focus on yourself."
"Haven't I?"
"Well...yes. But…" Honey struggled for the right words.
"Not just with sex." Mori put it simply.
Haruhi nodded silently, understanding. They were right, it was time to visit the therapist.
The following day, Haruhi found herself in the backseat of a limo. Takashi and Honey agreed that she was perfectly able to ride alone, accepting her need to regain her independence. She would have walked, but knowing the fact that Satou could be out there somewhere, it was simply out of the question. The boys made it clear that her safety came first.
Haruhi didn't feel nearly as apprehensive about this visit to see Dr. Avery. In fact, she looked forward to it. She had a lot to get off her chest and she was not about to let herself waste her session time again. As the limo came to a stop at the curb of the building, Haruhi thanked the driver politely and stepped out. She didn't notice a second limo pull up behind her to replace the one that dropped her. She was too stunned. There he stood, seemly as frozen as she was. His red hair caught the golden rays of the sun. Haruhi felt like she had lead weights tied to her ankles as his amber eyes pierced through her.
"H-Hikaru…?" it was barely a whisper. She hadn't seen him since their rescue. Haruhi had no idea what to do. She hadn't prepared herself for a meeting like this.
There was no response.
Lowering his gaze, Hikaru hurried towards the newly parked vehicle behind her, brushing her shoulder as he passed, almost knocking her off balance. As she heard the car pull away, Haruhi blinked in confusion. - What the hell was THAT? - She turned only to see the limo disappear around the corner. Suddenly she couldn't breathe, like she'd taken a punch to the chest. Tears were blinding her vision.
"He hates me…"
Haruhi could feel her throat tightening. - Of course he does...how could he not? This whole mess was my fault, after all. If it weren't for me, nothing would have happened to Hikaru or Kaoru... - The memory of her last nightmare came flooding back. Every cold sweat and vomit inducing memory of that horrible day hit her like a tidal wave. The world was suddenly spinning, and Haruhi couldn't see two feet in front of her.
"HEY WATCH OUT!"
Haruhi didn't know where the voice came from, especially over the ear splitting honking from what sounded like a fog horn. She felt suddenly like she was pulled back so hard that she hit pavement. Then the voices were all around her.
"Oh my god!" - "Is she alright?" - "Didn't even see that truck!" - "Does she need a doctor?"
A doctor...Avery…- Haruhi tried to clear her thoughts through the growing number of voices.
"Shouldn't somebody call the hospital?" she heard somebody said.
"No…" she managed to say. Not wanting to be poked and prodded by some stranger. "My...my doctor is upstairs…" she opened her eyes and saw that she was surrounded by at least five pedestrians. Haruhi tried to raise her head but was overcome by vertigo.
"Here in this building?" It was a middle aged woman sporting yoga pants and and baseball cap speaking to her.
"Yes...Dr. Avery...I need to get upstairs."
"Okay, sweety. Everyone back up, give the girl room to breathe!" The woman slowly helped Haruhi to her feet. As she stood, Haruhi was trying not to throw up as she realized she had drawn a crowd. People were staring and whispering like she was some sort of circus freak. But some, including the lady helping her stand, were looking in other directions in confusion, like they were searching for something. Haruhi turned to the woman helping her.
"What just happened?"
"Well, sweetie, for a second there, it looked like you were about to step into traffic. Did you hear me yelling after you?" The woman was gently guiding Haruhi back towards the building.
"I-I don't know...did you pull me back?"
"No, that was some guy...funny thing though, he didn't stick around." The woman looked over her shoulder once more "Just shoved you out of traffic and took off…"
Haruhi shook her head, still trying to make sense of it all. Tears were still running down her cheeks.
"What floor is your doctor on, sweety? I'll see you get up there."
"Uh...the t-twelfth floor. Thanks."
Together they made their way inside the building and into the elevator. Haruhi was silent for the remainder of the ride. She watched as the numbers of floors they past lit up one by one. Finally they reached twelve. Haruhi stepped out and turned to the woman. "I think I'll be ok from here. N-no need to t-trouble yourself…"
"Are you sure? It's no trouble…"
"No, really, I'm ok…she's just this way...thank you, miss…?"
"Mika. And it was nothing, sweety. Take care!"
Haruhi waited until the elevator doors closed to take Mika back downstairs before she turned to head down the hall to Dr. Avery's office. She silently walked in and stood in front of the receptionists desk and waited.
"Ah Miss Fujioka, I was just going to call you. Dr. Avery has been wai-" the receptionist stopped as she looked up at Haruhi. "Oh my…"
Had she seen herself, Haruhi probably would have stopped dead in her tracks as well. Her face was as pale as a ghost, her eyes were red and her cheeks were still damp from free flowing tears. Yet she remained still, waiting. The receptionist stood from her desk to peek her head into Dr. Avery's office.
She turned back to Haruhi. "You may go in now, Miss Fujioka." She gently guided Haruhi through the door and quietly closed the door once she was inside.
Dr. Avery sat in chair across from the couch she kept for her patients, reading one of her favorite books on philosophy. She looked up from her book when she heard Haruhi enter. She tried not to look shocked at her patient's appearance, not wishing to alarm her. However she could not keep the concern from her voice.
"Haruhi, please come in." Avery couldn't help notice the girl's total silence and stiffness as she walked over to sit on the couch across from her. Then Avery saw the red eyes and tears. Something just happened. "I know we were going to pick up the discussion we left off last week…" Avery waited, but when Haruhi didn't make a motion to speak, she continued "But...perhaps we should begin with current events."
"Current…" Haruhi tried to get her mind around what was just said.
"Want to tell me what happened today, Haruhi?"
Haruhi closed her eyes. "Can I lay down?"
"Of course"
"Well…" she started as she stretched out on the couch. "I remember getting out of the car in front of the building...and then…"
Dr. Avery looked up from her notebook as Haruhi paused. "And then?" she encouraged.
"...and then...I saw Hikaru…"
"I see." Dr. Avery kept her voice calm. "I understand you haven't seen him lately."
"Not since our rescue...I wasn't expecting it…"
Of course she wasn't. She wasn't supposed to see him at all. Dr. Avery thought it was best to space out her clients so that Haruhi and the Hitachiin twins wouldn't run into each other before or after their sessions. The therapist wasn't prepared for Hikaru when he stormed in for an emergency appointment. Despite his steady improvement, he'd been suffering from stresses very separate from his brother. Avery saw to him against her better judgement, hoping that her female patient wouldn't arrive till after he left. Definitely not what happened.
"What happened then, Haruhi?"
"He didn't say a word to me, even though I was standing right in front of him. He just...brushed me aside and got in the car. Just drove off. Then…" Haruhi tried to remember what happened after that. "It was weird…"
"Weird?"
"Yeah...it was like everything was spinning...and sounded like I was...like I was underwater. Then it felt like I was suffocating…"
Dr. Avery kept making notes, all the while listening intently.
"Next thing I know my head hit the sidewalk and I was surrounded by people." Haruhi turned her head to face her therapist. "Dr. Avery what happened to me?"
"Haruhi, it sounds like you had a nervous collapse."
Haruhi's voice dropped to a whisper as she shook her head. "But I was fine…" she said.
"You're still doing fine, Haruhi. You weren't expecting to see Hikaru today, and surprises like that are normally shocking. What you experienced was not abnormal."
"Yes...but…" Haruhi thought back to how Hikaru hadn't responded to her.
"Haruhi?"
"He hates me!" Haruhi turned away and started crying.
At this point she wasn't sure how handle herself. What she wouldn't give to be back in her bed with a warm body beside her. Dr. Avery sat patiently and let her cry for a few minutes. This was a situation she had considered and knew was a risk by taking on patients of the same traumatic event. As much as she wanted to comfort Haruhi about her fears, she couldn't break confidence with Hikaru. Avery also understood that it wasn't her place to mend their friendship. But perhaps she could arrange something.
When Haruhi quieted into soft hiccups, her doctor spoke gently. "Did he tell you that he hated you, Haruhi?"
"No…" Haruhi sniffed. "He didn't say anything."
"Surely, it must have been a shock." Avery suggested.
"It was...I couldn't believe it, it was like he didn't know me…" Haruhi said, still facing away on the couch.
"And you think his hatred could be the only reason for that?"
Haruhi was quiet for a minute. Of course him hating her had to be it. Why else? After all, this was all her fault wasn't it?
"He was hurt...because of me. That has to be it." Haruhi finally said.
"He was hurt, that much is certain. But so were you, and his brother. You weren't the one who caused it to happen, Haruhi. That's something you need to remember."
Haruhi shook her head. "No," she continued. "They might have gotten away if it weren't for me. If i hadn't been there...they probably wouldn't have wanted to do those horrible things…" Haruhi could feel her throat tightening as the vivid memories filled her head.
"We don't know that, Haruhi. Obviously these men thought the boys were just as easy targets. It may have happened even without you there, it wasn't your fault." Avery knew that the time was now. She was hoping she would have a little more time to gain Haruhi's trust, but the door was open now. It was time to use it. "Haruhi, I want you to tell me about that day…"
A/N: Oh my goodness! I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post! I hate leaving you guys alone for so long, but I always want to make sure that each chapter is perfect for posting! Plus the Holidays got me in a tizzy! Anyway, never fear, loyal readers! RamblingRobin and I have been brainstorming and I am more than confident that the next chapter won't take nearly as long to complete! I can't thank Robin enough for letting me continue her story and being so supportive! As for the rest of you awesome readers, let me know you're still out there and please review! Happy New Year!