Chapter Fifteen
Jasper looks at me while Carlisle does a quick exam on me and my scar. Matthew is sitting in one of the couches in the room and he looking over at Alice at his side. No one was too happy with my comment about letting me die, but it was the honest truth. Carlisle finishes checking and turns to fill out my chart quietly.
"She is not suffering any physical damage, just some mental issues with everything. She can go home to rest and I will come by to see how she is doing mentally and physically," Carlisle says. I look out the window and imagine myself jumping out to feel the wind on my face.
"Marinna," Matthew says. I blink a few times and look over at everyone. "Is there a particular reason you wish we had not done this and let you die instead?"
"Yes, it will happen again because I was meant to die this time. You only postponed it and I fear my life will not survive for much longer because there is no other option for me later on. I refuse to be turned and you all respect that decision," I say. Jasper intakes a sharp breathe and he walks over to the window.
"Marinna, this cannot be the end of your life. It has only just began," Carlisle says with a small smile. "You have a husband that loves you and five beautiful children that need you in their life. How can you just want to die like that?"
"Because my life was on borrowed time and Matthew knows it," I say softly. Matthew stiffens at what I said and looks away when Alice and Jasper look at him.
"What is she talking about?" Alice asks first.
"Marinna was not planned and mama did not know she was to be born. I was the only baby mama knew about and she did not see the doctors unless if was an emergency and not until she went into labor. I was born first and then Marinna came in so small next to me and very weak. From infancy she has had a weak heart, but she always pushed through. Mama feared that Marinna would die early because of her heart and how small she was. Mama did everything she could to keep Marinna healthy and to keep her growing normally. She did grow up healthy and she was happy. I always kept a watch over her to not let her get sick and made sure she never had to eat the meat because it always made her sick. Marinna was small because she was dependent on the blood that Nessie was craving for in Bella. Mama never knew and had gone through the pregnancy normally. Now, here we are, living the fear mama had those years ago once more," Matthew says.
"Is that what you meant a few years ago in how you do not know how long you may have?" Jasper asks, fear and sadness in his amber eyes. I only nod, fearing what Jasper would say next, and he closes his eyes before walking out of the room quietly.
"Marinna, why is it I do not see your death but only your happy times with Jasper and the family?" Alice asks.
"Because that will happen, but my death will not be in a year or so. We do not know now that Matthew has given up his heart to me," I say. Alice walks over to give me a hug and I hold onto her while holding in my tears.
"Is it possible to feed you blood and try treating you as a vampire?" Carlisle asks.
"No, she may die from it since she gets sick from eating meat. It is odd, I know, but it how she was born," Matthew says, refusing to look at anyone. Alice caresses my hair as I tremble a little at the thought of knowing I could die any day even with the new heart and I may never get to tell my family goodbye.
Jasper has not left my side since we returned home. He is always near to make sure I am okay and Manny is always watching me as I move around the house. Carlisle and Esme have given us tickets to fly to the island Jasper bought me and has told us to go as a family. The children are all excited to go, not knowing exactly as to why we are going near the holidays. We are packing right now and I stop to look at the family picture we took just months ago in the spring all together with big bright smiles on our faces. Next to that photo is Matthew, mama, and I at our villa in Italy. Jasper walks in from the bathroom and looks at me holding the pictures.
"I never imagined this life because I believed I was a monster and that I would not live to get married and have children," I say. Jasper puts our toiletries down on the bed and I look at him with tears in my eyes. He walks over to hold me in his arms like he is shielding me from the pain and thoughts of my imminent death.
"Marinna, be glad we have each other and that we have a wonderful family. I love you and will do anything to have you at my side for how ever long that may be," Jasper whispers. I hold onto him in fear that the moment he lets go I will fade from him. Jasper pulls away with his hands caressing my face and he smiles at me.
"Promise you will still care for the children after I pass?" I ask softly.
"You know I will and I will tell stories of you and how you were a wonderful mother to them. I will not let Ethan and Annabelle forget you, darlin'," Jasper chuckles. I smile happily, letting my arms wrap around his neck to give him a sweet kiss, for what could possibly be the last time.