Chapter 3 pt 3: To Be Protected

"Hal, I—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you." I stared down at my feet, not wanting to meet his gaze. If I met his eyes he would see right through me. I couldn't manage it… so instead I kept my eyes on the floor like the coward I am.

"You needn't apologize," Hal murmured almost to himself. "I know you didn't mean to yell," his soft voice flowed over me like a gentle spring and I couldn't help my eyes closing. Hal has too much of an effect on me. I shouldn't let him get to me like this. I'm supposed to be guarding my heart but the walls I build keep crumbling.

"I must or I'll not get a wink of sleep tonight." A blush spreads across my face. Why did I stick my foot in my mouth again? (Geez Amelia… get it together!) I can feel his gaze over me and I make the mistake of glancing up at him and our eyes meet almost instantly.

There is something almost intense with the way Hal is staring and I almost believe that he feels the same way as I do. Holding back the same feelings as I for the fear of what would happen if we acted on such forbidden feelings. There would be consequences… dire ones at that.

Swallowing as my palms begin to sweat, I can't move an inch from my perch.

Hal takes my hand in his, sending my heart to trip over itself. I can swear I see electricity between us.

(Oh Hal, what are doing to me?)

"You're trembling, Miss Amelia."

"No I—I'm not." (What am I even saying?) I drag my gaze from his in a panic and Hal has the nerve to frown at me.

"Please only reserve that face for Prince Silvio."

(What kind of face am I making?)

The displeased frown on Hal's face turns dark. There is sadness in his eyes; one I can read perfectly. As his hand slips from mine, tears well up in my eyes but I'm too late to hide them from view.

I spring up from the loveseat when Hal looks started by my tears. I barely make it a few steps before I'm pulled back around, stumbling in the process.

"Hal?" The way he holds onto me is close to desperation likes he's afraid he'll never see me again. The light in his eyes holds me captive. Dare I say that Hal scares me more right now than Silvio ever has? Everything seems to be in a haze as our faces somehow draw closer and closer until we're only inches apart. In the back of my mind I'm screaming at myself to stop and don't go any further but the heart wants what it wants. And right now… that is Hal.

"Forgive me, Amelia. I can't withhold it any longer." His breath ghosts my face; taking my breath with it. I'm so mesmerized I don't take notice of the familiar way he calls my name without its usual title.

Those lips softly meet mine and it's glorious—everything was conveyed in that kiss; desperation of resisting the need of expressing feelings that have been smothered for propriety's sake. "H—Hal," I gasped his name like a mantra, letting my eyes fall shut.

"Ssshh." The words were soft, betraying his next action. A slight prodding sensation went across my lips and I realize with a breathy hitch that he was politely asking permission. Always the gentleman even in a moment of pent up passion. If not for being held up in his arms, I would be at his feet. My lips had opened almost in reflex, whimpering as he took what he sought. My fingers found their way into soft snow locks as I completely lose myself in Hal. In this moment I am no longer the Queen but a girl in love with a boy.

Hal sucks on my bottom lip ripping a moan from my throat.

Cold reality splashes me across the face as he pulls away suddenly, complete shock covering his face.

My knees quiver but I manage to fall against the door behind me just in time.

So many emotions flicker across Hal's face. I want to say something to reassure him but I need my own reassuring. We are heading down a very dangerous path where no amount of reassuring could help us when push came to shove us back to reality.

Hal's eyebrows furrow, and he begins to look anywhere but at me as he shakes his head. Lips moving silently and before I realize what he is doing he's gone, leaving me in his chambers alone.

I let myself slid to the floor with a quiet sob. All I can think of is what have I done?

Never can I mention this happened with anyone. But I have a niggling feeling that it will never happen again. The horror on his face screamed that kissing me was a mistake. Would he ever see me as not the Queen but a woman or girl—who was in love with him? Neither of us voiced our feelings but actions spoke more than simple words ever could. There was an understanding. If we voiced it, then it never could be reversed. That kiss was proof and something I'd never forget.