Chapter Twenty-One
I have not said anything to anyone since the incident with Embry the other day. Jacob and Sam took Embry's body home to get him ready for his burial, but I am not invited because I refuse to see Allison knowing she does not know the truth about the pack. Jasper walks into our room with a tray of food with a sad smile on his face. I move on the bed to let him set the tray down then to sit down to pull me close to him. He has been by my side since we left the Cullen's home and has been silent like I have to let me take a moment.
"I know what you are thinking," I whisper hoarsely.
"What do you mean, darlin'?" Jasper asks softly.
"You think I loved him still and that is why it hurts so bad," I whimper. "But I don't. I haven't since you came into my life. He was my first love and Manny's father."
"Mari, I know that you did not love him. It is hard to forget your first love and I should know. I could not accept Alice when we first met since it had been awhile since I was with anyone after Maria. I am not upset about your pain for Embry's passing, sweetheart, I am just worried about you," Jasper says sweetly. I always forget that Maria was his first love before and after he was turned into a vampire. There is a soft knock on the door and we look up to see Matthew and Alice standing in the doorway with grave looks on their faces.
"Mattie," I say softly. He walks over to sit on the edge of the bed with pale skin and his eyes look dark from lack of sleep or illness.
"It is time, Mari," Mattie says weakly. It takes me a moment before I realise what he means and it sends an alarm off in my head.
"I just had to kill Embry and I am not losing you," I say quickly. "I barely see you as it is, Mattie."
"Mari, you are not going to lose me. I have asked for Alice to help me through this, but I want you there when I wake up," Matthew says with a weak smile.
"Where are you going to do this?" I ask with tears forming in my eyes.
"Here at Forks in Carlisle and Esme's home and after that I plan on marrying Alice," Matthew says. I look at Alice to see she is beaming at the news and she walks over to us.
"Okay," I say with a nod and a smile. "I have been waiting for you to ask her to marry you. Welcome to the family, Alice."
"I love you, Marinna," Matthew chuckles. We hold each other close and I try to breathe in his scent to remember what he used to smell like before it changes.
Alice and Jasper are talking in the living room while Esme and I are getting a room ready for Matthew's change. Carlisle is examining Matthew to make sure he will survive the change. Esme takes my hand in her hands with a smile and I know she is worried about me. I give her a small smile to let her know I am okay, but we both know it is a lie.
"Are you sure you are okay with this? You were adamant on him never being turned," Esme asks softly.
"I am too keen on it, but I know that this will save him. Plus, he is so happy with Alice and I want the two of them to be together forever," I say. We finish preparing the room and walk downstairs to see if everyone else was ready. Bella and Edward are sitting in the living room with Rosalie and Emmett quietly. I go in search of Jasper to find him standing alone outside in the backyard. He is staring off into space when I walk up behind him to wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his back between his shoulder blades.
"Will we have to do this for you in the years to come?" Jasper asks softly.
"No," I say while laying my cheek against him.
"How can you be sure?"
"Because I know so."
"Promise?"
"Yes, my love, I promise. Why are you asking me?"
"I don't want you to lose your beautiful eyes or your tan skin or any part of you that shows you are still somewhat human. I will love you as a vampire, but I will miss you as you are now."
"I am going to be like this forever just like Nessie and so will the children, my love. We will be able to have hundreds of children throughout the years."
"Now I am getting excited." Jasper turns in my arms to smile widely at me and I cannot help but giggle at his excitement at having hundreds of kids. He reaches up to caress my cheek softly and I can see why he does not want me to become a vampire. I remind him of when he was human and he likes that. Carlisle steps outside and he closes the door gently.
"How is he? Will he survive?" I ask with panic.
"It is going to be a small chance because he is already so weak. I fear that the chances of him dying are greater than him surviving," Carlisle says.
"We thought the same about Bella and you thought the same about Esme. Carlisle, there has to be some way that he will survive," I say.
"We will do our best and try to inject as much venom as possible to ensure that he survives it," Carlisle says. He walks over to take my hand in his and smiles softly. "We will make sure he survives and make sure he is comfortable throughout the whole process."
"I trust you to help my brother as best as you can, Carlisle. He is all I have left of my mother," I say weakly. Carlisle nods and walks inside to finish getting ready. I turn to hold Jasper close to me and he kisses the top of my head gently.