Chapter 13:

"Yukiko, are you alright?"

Said soul reaper was on her hands and knees panting heavily. Tears were pouring unendingly down her cheeks as she tried to regain her breath. Slowly, she sat up and looked around herself, seeing the fluttering Nightingale on one side of her and on the other was an open door leading out into the bright hallway of her mind. The room she was in was small and warm and she could see Youruichi sitting cross legged in her Captain's chair; exactly as she had years before.

"Yes, Soyokaze," she murmured to the Nightingale. "I feel so much better." As she spoke, a smile spread across her features, despite the streaks of tears. "It actually worked."

Slowly, she pushed herself onto her feet and wiped her eyes before exiting the room and closing the door behind her. She glanced down each side of the hallway, seeing the hundreds of doors she'd made. One for each person in her memories.

"Are you sure?" Soyokaze asked worriedly, as she flew by her side.

"Yes, I finally finished one," Yukiko replied lightly. "I still have a lot more to go, but if this method continues to work, then I should be able to continue to progress. Even if it takes me another century to complete."

"Well, it's late," Soyokaze sighed reluctantly. "You should get some sleep."

"Right, we still have two more days to get through before we'll know for sure," Yukiko agreed.

She took a deep breath, and slowly opened her eyes. Her room was dark, and all around her was the calming aroma of the many plum blossoms that she'd placed about her room. After her latest trip down memory lane, however, she felt she needed some fresh air before going to sleep. So, getting up from her bed, she shook the sleep out of her limbs and walked over to the window.

She opened her window and leaned on the sill, feeling the breeze brush over her. It felt good after her very stressful meditation period. Wanting to test out her new appreciation for the feline soul reaper, and curious to know how the others were doing, she closed her eyes and stretched out her reiatsu, searching for her friends.

Almost immediately she was bombarded by what felt like the remnants of a battle. She could feel the energy of six very powerful hollows as well as several soul reapers. She assumed the other soul reapers must have come when Renji did, though she hadn't asked him about who all had come or their reason. After a time, she focused more fully to find that Ichigo and Byakuya's little sister had been involved and seemed to be hurt, as was Renji. Then she tried to scan the Urahara shop and nearly recoiled in shock. Ururu's energy had almost faded into nothing.

She wanted to go see how the little girl was doing, but her sword reminded her that she'd be back tomorrow. "I don't care! She's hurt, I have to see if there's something I can do!" Yukiko argued.

"Just stop for a moment and think this over," Soyokaze ordered. "You can feel it right? You'd just be in the way."

Yukiko wanted to argue some more, or just ignore her, but she did look back toward the shop and realized something. Urahara's energy was swirling all over the area. He was busy healing Ururu. She really would be in the way.

"Alright," she conceded reluctantly. "But I am going to see how the others are doing. I know I won't be in Orihime's way."

With that, she lept out her window and flash stepped toward the six energies gathered on an apartment rooftop. It didn't take her too long to travel the distance, though she did shut off her energy sensing as soon as she did. When she arrived, she noticed that Orihime's ability was covering the younger sister of her old friend while Ichigo knelt on one side of the healer with a really depressed expression, watching the progress and Renji sat on the other side. On the opposite end of the roof, stood the small captain she remembered seeing during the captain's meeting as well as his orange haired lieutenant.

"What happened?" she asked the two soul reapers. Matsumoto turned in surprise to see her as did her captain, but neither really seemed willing to say anything. "Did they come? Come on I know Kisuke is trying to heal Ururu right now, and I know you three were hurt. I can also see the younger sister of the Kuchiki clan unconscious and Ichigo in a broken mess. So just tell..."

"That's enough!" Catpain Hitsugaya snapped, cutting her off. "You were given orders to work on your own recovery and stay out of this fight until given permission. Therefore, you have no reason to know what happened here."

"That's just an excuse," Yukiko returned crossing her arms almost protectively. "I said I'd stay out of the fighting and I meant it. However, friends were hurt in this battle which is obviously over. I don't see how me knowing what took place is going to change anything."

The two stared at each other for a time before he released a sigh and fully turned to face her. "Six arrancar made an appearance," he began reluctantly. "Five of them were just small fry, but the last was what they were calling an Espada. Each of us fought one, but only Rukia and Ikkaku were able to defeat their opponents on their own power. Rangiku, Renji, and I were unable to do so, even when using bankai, until the Gentei Kaijo was released."

"I see, that is a problem. And none of you were fighting the Espada," she guessed.

"Exactly. He fought Ichigo and Rukia, and you see what that result was," Matsumoto murmured.

"The only reason Ichigo isn't in the same state is the Espada was made to leave...by one of Aizen's men."

"I see." She took a breath and stretched her reiatsu out once more, seeking the site of Ichigo's battle. When she found it, she felt her heart seize up from the traces of an all too familiar energy. "Tousen," she muttered, her lip trembling slightly.

"Wow, you're good," Matsumoto murmured in amazement.

"It's probably best if you stop your searching," Renji pointed out, getting to his feet and coming over to the conversing trio. "Every time you do, I can sense you, Ume."

The trembling slowed to a stop at the sound of the name and she weakly smiled. "I'm aware, Renji," she murmured. "But thank you." She took a deep breath, cleared her mind and turned her attention to the two humans kneeling next to her old friend's sister. "So I assume this Espada is the cause of Ichigo's dead expression. Is he beating himself up because she was injured or because he lost?"

"What are you thinking?" Hitsugaya asked suspiciously.

"Looks like I'll have to take a leaf out of Kensei's book," she thought, ignoring the question. After a moment of conversing with her blade over a potential plan, she took a step forward and gestured toward the carrot top. "I'm just gonna borrow Ichigo for a bit," she stated clearly.

Before the others could say or do anything, she flashed behind the teen, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, and dragged him off despite his weak protests to stay and keep watch over Rukia. She ignored his cries, not stopping until they were at the edge of the river that ran through Karakura Town.

"What do you want?" he asked despondently.

"Look at yourself, Ichigo," Yukiko sighed. "This is pathetic."

"Shut up. You don't get it. They were counting on me to win, and I let them down. Rukia could have died because of me."

His words were cut off as the sound of a slap echoed across the waters. He blinked a few times in surprise feeling the sting of her hand on his cheek. After a few moments, he turned his head back to stare at her, a dim light shining in his otherwise dead eyes.

"Do you honestly believe that she sees it that way? I don't think so. She's a Kuchiki and a soul reaper. She knows that she takes the chance of perishing every single day she opens her eyes. Whether choosing to engage in combat or not, death is right around the corner. So don't you ever assume you're the only one who's experienced loss or letting someone down. Remember, you've only been doing this for a few months tops. The rest of us have been at this for years. You really believe that in all this time we've never once experienced something similar enough to understand you?"

"This is different," Ichigo stated in a defeated voice.

"In some ways, but not nearly as different as you think," she sighed. "You just lost a fight with a powerful opponent because you were afraid of losing yourself to your own power."

"What makes you think I'm afraid?" he asked guardedly.

"Easy, you're eyes reveal it so easily," she explained lightly. She took a deep breath before walking closer to the river and staring out over the shifting water. "Look, Ichigo. I'm not great with words or speeches, so all I can do is tell you a story. Just bear with it."

She closed her eyes, as the memories of her past sped through her mind. She could see each and every moment as if in fast forward and felt herself sway as if she was getting sick. However, she held herself up on Youruichi's door, where she could see the true form of her old friend and pushed forward.

"A long time ago, back before I ever joined the Gotei 13, I had zero control over my power. I was banned from releasing my zanpakto on academy grounds because I'd hurt the other students. Even without that, just being startled was enough to set off my wind reiatsu," she paused for a breath, needing to take a few seconds to slow the images once more before continuing. "But then...my captain brought me in to his squad and helped me gain control. Without him I would have been sent to our deepest prison just because I was a danger to myself and everyone around me."

Ichigo stared at her in shock as she explained her past to the teen. It was amazing to him to think that as strong as she was, that she once had no control. How'd she do it? He wanted to ask her about it, but stopped as she continued.

"Two months into my training, I was given a mission. It was the first time I'd ever led a group of people and I was terrified. It didn't help that my meek demeanor didn't instill any confidence in the four men I'd been told to take with me. Our orders were simple, head to the human world to observe a hollow and report back. Things didn't go so well."

She went into detail about how she felt giving the four more experienced soul reapers orders, how she split them up and the search for the hollow that took two hours. Then she explained how two of the members fell before reuniting with the others and a third was attacked before her eyes. She saved the third and sent him with the last member back to soul society for reinforcements. Finally she explained how she'd found her two missing comrades and got beat up by what she realized were twin hollows while trying to protect them.

"In the end, all I did was watch as my men were almost killed and failed to kill the very thing that hurt them. If my captain hadn't come when he did, we all would have perished."

Ichigo stared at her silently for several moments as he tried to process what she said. He didn't think things were so difficult for soul reapers.

"Look, I know you think you let them down and that you're too weak to do anything. You failed and chances are no one will ever trust you again. Well allow me to tell you what my captain told me after that mission. You didn't fail."

"What?"

"I know you're not a soul reaper but bare with me. What is your mission, your main objective?"

"To protect Karakura Town. To protect my family and friends."

"Exactly. Look around you. Is Karakura Town still here?"

"Yes..."

"Have any of your friends or family died?"

"No but..."

"Did you flee for your own life?"

"No way."

"Then you didn't fail. Sure you lost your fight, but that doesn't matter. A truly failed mission only occurs when everyone is dead, you failed your objective and you fled. All of these criteria must be met for you to have truly failed."

Ichigo stared at her trying to dispute what she was saying, but honestly he couldn't. She was completely right. No one was dead and his home was still in tact. But...what was he supposed to do with this uncontrollable power? "H-how did you, gain control?" he finally asked reluctantly.

Yukiko turned from the water and smiled softly at him. Her eyes were red like she'd been crying, but he hadn't noticed anything from her speech. Was she alright? "That is the big question," she murmured softly. She took a deep breath and ran a hand over her suddenly tired looking eyes. "There's really only one way to obtain control over your own power. You have to train, even if it means getting help from someone else like I did. The real question is though, even if someone did try to help...would your pride let them?"

With that she turned on her heel and flashed away, returning to her room. As soon as she was in her plum blossom sanctuary, she released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She hoped Ichigo took the words to heart. They'd helped her out of her funk when Kensei used them after all. Giving those kind of speeches, however, was not her forte. It felt strange and several times she'd had to press forward to avoid the painful memories that accompanied her story and made her want to curl up herself. Now that she was alone, she curled up on her bed and wept as everything she'd been holding back crashed down on her.

Sleep did not come easily to Yukiko that night. Memories from the stories she told and fear of Tousen finding her again kept plaguing her dreams. By the time she awoke, it was almost time for the Urahara shop to open.

Reluctantly, she got out of bed and cleaned herself up before changing into a simple flowery halter top she'd bought on her outing with Youruichi, and pulled on a pair of denim shorts. Then she brushed out her long hair, threw on a pair of sandals, and left her apartment. After the long night she had, she was reluctant to search for anyone, worried that doing so would open herself up to being located and worried about what she'd find.

When she made it to the Urahara shop, she paused in the gateway and smiled to herself as she spotted something reassuring. Ginta had Ururu by the hand and was leading her around the front yard jumping in the air occasionally and shouting "yay" in celebration. They were so adorable and she giggled lightly as she continued to watch their progress. That is until she noticed the door to the shop open and someone else came outside.

Seeing the newcomer wiped the smile off her face and she had to take a few moments to get a hold of herself. During that time, he whipped out his fan and had Ginta stop dragging Ururu around. She was about to head inside to relay the good news to everyone, but before she could a very large man rushed passed her.

"Urahara," he called out getting the man's attention before kneeling on the ground in front of him. "Please, you must train me."

Yukiko was stunned by the sudden demand and she wasn't the only one. Urahara looked down at the large teen kneeling before him, his fan shielding his expression.

"Pardon me?" he murmured calmly. "I have far too much to do at the moment to waste my time training you."

"What?" Chad exclaimed looked up at the store owner. "The way I am right now I can't watch Ichigo's back. I need to get stronger."

Urahara stared silently down at him, not moving or showing any sign of what was going through his head. Not knowing what to do about the situation, and not sure how well her frazzled nerves would handle interfering, she continued to watch in silence. Urahara mused over the situation for several moments before snapping his fan closed and moving inside. "Just wait here and I'll have the perfect training partner for you," he ordered the teen before motioning toward the two children and disappearing inside.

Said teen got to his feet and watched as the store owner went inside, followed by his two charges. She was curious to know what Urahara had in mind, but thought it would be better not to get involved. So she only moved enough to be within the gate, instead of on the sidewalk, and shifted to one side so she could lean against the wall and wait.

It took about fifteen minutes for the store owner to come back out, and in that time the large teen never moved. She felt kind of bad for him, having to wait while his training fate was decided. Still, she knew it would be better if he had a different trainer than Urahara. He was a lot tougher than anyone she knew and although she'd never seen it herself, she was very aware that his bankai was one you didn't want to be on the receiving end. She watched for a little longer as he spoke to the teen and gestured toward the door where Renji was standing lazily.

"Come on," the redhead called out gesturing inside. Without another word, he turned and went inside, the large teen following behind him.

Once they were gone, Yukiko watched while Urahara gestured for her to follow. She took a deep breath before following him inside and to the backroom where the table was located. Seated behind it, waiting for them, were Tessai and Youruichi. Yukiko nodded to the first, feeling her nerves twitch in anxiety before focusing on the second. Doing so calmed her and even brought a smile to her face. Then all at once she darted forward and wrapped her arms around the woman's neck. "Youruichi. It's good to see you," she exclaimed, hugging her tightly. "Thank you."

"Last night must have done you wonders," Urahara chuckled. "Care to elaborate?"

Yukiko apologized for her actions as she pulled away from the older woman and took a seat next to the table, breathing deeply. "My plan from yesterday originated because of an accident during one of my meditation sessions," she began. "I was going through my memories of Youruichi and having as much trouble with it as always. I was about to stop the flow at the same point I had before when I was suddenly reminded of something."

Urahara raised a curious eyebrow while Tessai simply waited for her to finish. Youruichi, on the other hand, smirked as she figured out what was coming.

"I remembered how much she'd helped me in the soul society after being freed from Aizen's prison. I realized what I was seeing before me, couldn't possibly be Youruichi. It was easy to say, it wasn't real. I then managed to make it a few more memories in before those few were no longer able to sustain me."

She was smiling in excitement now and the older woman gave her a knowing smile. Urahara smiled as well, leaning back a little with his fan in his hand once more and Tessai continued to face her way in silence; his sunglasses making it impossible to tell where his focus actually was.

"So, I came up with the idea that my memories of the past were too jumbled to make an accurate decision on anyone," she summed up. "As such, I would need to make new memories, good ones, to counteract the old."

"And I assume your wonderful greeting means it worked?" the purple haired woman asked with a smirk.

Yukiko nodded. "Yes, I was finally able to make it all the way through one complete set of memories," she answered excitedly. "Yours, Youruichi."

"Hmm, and you decided to use us as test subjects why exactly?" Urahara asked. "I was under the impression the more time you spent with someone the more difficult it would be to fix your image of them."

"You're right, Kisuke, but that is the reason," she returned. "It began with Youruichi and since it started with her I wanted to finish it out. Also, I spent a lot of time training with the three of you, but still not most of my time. The way I see it, if it works with you then it's more likely to work with everyone I have fewer memories of."

"That would include half the Vizard," Tessai put in.

"Y-yes," Yukiko agreed reluctantly. "The only ones I wouldn't be quite as certain with would be...Shinji and...K-Kensei."

"I understand," Urahara murmured getting to his feet. "Well then, shall we get started?"

Yukiko smiled weakly and nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

Shippoman: Yukiko's plan is working so far, as she completes one of the hundreds of doors contained within. Doing so has taken her one step closer to a reunion with the vizard. Will her time with Urahara go as smoothly? Will her words to Ichigo help him make a decision? Stay tuned to see if her progression continues or grinds to a halt. Please remember to R&R! Your reviews make it all worth it.

Sorry about the long wait. It wasn't a matter of writer's block this time, I just had issues getting the first scene right. Ichigo's self depreciating nature was difficult to work with without having sound too whiny/infantile or making him too defensive. I have to go over the episodes where he was downing on himself several times to get this version. I hope i managed to keep him and the rest of the characters in character. I'll try not to let too much time pass before I post the next chapter. So please, continue to bare with me.