Chapter 18:

Yukiko had a lot on her mind as she headed for the exit of the Vizard headquarters. She had her conversation with Shinji running through her head and the implications the others had shown her regarding the nature of her bankai. Could she really be capable of removing the air from an area? It would definitely be useful in certain battles, but it could also be far too devastating to her comrades. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her friends. It was the whole reason she worked so hard to gain control over the rest of her abilities.

As she moved along, she spotted Kensei heading to the upper floors and felt her heart clench. Tomorrow would be his day...she needed to say something to reassure him. "Kensei!" she called out, getting him to stop. "Thank you for coming to see me fight. I wanted to make sure I could reveal it to you as well." He turned to look at her with his "resting pissed" face. "You remember the deal we made before right?" She saw him lift an eyebrow at her. "I-I would like it if we kept that...for our day tomorrow."

She almost laughed at how surprised his face looked when he looked down at her. "Uh, sure," he growled. She noticed a little red appearing on his neck and felt she'd done a good job.

The door within her shuddered at the look he gave her, but she ignored it as she gave as bright a smile as she could muster. "I'll see you tomorrow then, Kensei." With that she turned and rushed out the door, not trusting herself to look back without how much her face burned. Tomorrow was certainly going to be a difficult one for her, but she had to see it through to the end...no matter what.

It was early the next day that Kensei stood in front of a cracked mirror in his bedroom. He'd just finished getting changed after Love and Mashiro basically forced him to put something more on than the tank top and cargo pants. All they managed was to get him to change into a pair of jeans. He kept his piercing and absolutely refused to put on anything that had sleeves.

Eventually they gave up and finally left him alone, which he was grateful for. He needed to steel his nerves for this. He'd have the entire day alone with her and wanted to make sure he didn't cave or force her to touch him like he'd done before. No, she needed him to be stronger this time and he would do that.

"Oh, Kensei!"

He groaned at the sound of the voice and saw that of course Mashiro was sticking her head into his room. "What?" he demanded harshly.

"Come see for yourself," she giggled before rushing off.

He sighed in frustration before taking one last look in the mirror and stepping into the hallway that lead to the main part of the warehouse. "What the hell are you playing at this time, Mashiro?" he growled the moment he spotted her.

If she responded, he didn't hear it. He'd momentarily lost all sense of everything around him when he noticed standing next to the green haired annoyance was what he'd been looking forward to forever. Yukiko stood there in a light colored sundress, sandals, and an expression of pure embarrassment. Her hair was obviously styled by Rose as it framed her face and somehow made her green eyes look like they were sparkling; like they used to.

"So, um, ready to go, Kensei?" she asked nervously. She smiled at him and he noticed her lips had been painted and a little makeup was applied to her eyes as well. The ensemble really made them pop.

"Uh, yeah," he grunted jumping down to the level they were on. "Let's go."

He began to lead the way out the door and was astounded when he felt her tentatively touch his arm. Trying to figure out why, he glanced back and noticed she was looking in the opposite direction as her fingers seemed to be trying to slide between his arm and his body. Awkwardly, he moved his arms so she could fully loop hers with his.

His neck was getting really hot after this and he quickly turned away from her as he pulled her out the door; ignoring the many comments coming from the others during this. It was nothing but useless noise after all.

"So, what do you want to do?" Yukiko murmured. Her cheeks looked about as red as he felt his neck did.

Kensei scratched the back of his head as he thought it over. "I didn't really have anything specific," he muttered. He felt bad that he hadn't come to a decision about anything but he really had no idea what to do with her. Accept... "We could just go walking, and maybe chat away from everyone else."

He glanced over at her and saw a warm smile grace her features. Maybe he'd done better than he though? "That sound wonderful," she murmured, tightening her hold of his arm. "But where can we go to talk freely?"

"I know a place." He squeezed her hand with his arm and the two flash stepped away, him leading her across roof tops until they reached a small forest on the outskirts. "Here. No one will bug us here."

She looked around and nodded and he coughed a bit when her head rested against his arm. In doing so, he felt her body shaking a little and realized she was doing this despite the overwhelming fear. So to get her mind onto something else he cleared his throat to get her attention while walking forward, pulling her along with him.

"So, you were in soul society," he murmured. "Did you get to visit squad 9?"

"Yeah," she answered easily.

"How were they doing?"

"Actually pretty good." She went on to explain about her visit to the squad and how she discovered her four friends were still there and that the one plant she remembered had turned into a full orchard. She explained how while there she'd spent almost all her free time within the orchard trying to stay calm and meditate. "Oh and you'd love the new Lieutenant."

"Really?" he scoffed.

"Yes, really," she giggled, poking his side teasingly. "He's a very good Lieutenant from what I can tell and is taking his temporary position as acting Captain very seriously. Meaning he actually does his work. I'm actually worried he takes more onto his own shoulders than he should."

"Tch, a Lieutenant that actually does his work," Kensei murmured trying to figure out how that would feel. "Sounds like a good gig."

"Yeah, and the best part is, he's a fan." Kensei raised his pierced eyebrow at this and she laughed. "I'm serious. I don't know when the two of you met, but he was very interested when he found out I knew you and kept asking me to tell him more about you. He even has your tattoo."

"You're kidding," he grunted.

"Nope, he's got it right here." She tapped her left cheek as she spoke and giggled again. "When I saw it I couldn't help but stare, trying to figure out if it was really in reference to you or not. He eventually got sick of it and asked me what was up. I couldn't believe it when he more or less admitted you were his hero, or something. I think you'd like him."

"Tch, that's nice," Kensei sighed shaking his head. "But there's no way I'd get the chance. You know the intolerance of the soul society would never allow us back. We're monsters to them right now...nothing but hollows."

Yukiko stopped in her track and he glanced at her, curious to know what she was thinking. "But you're not just hollows. You're soul reapers. Strong and loyal soul reapers that spent all this time trying to take down the enemy of soul society. You deserve a second chance...just like I'm getting one."

"And what would you do if you were allowed back, but we weren't?" Kensei asked curiously.

"Then I'd say screw soul society. The only ones that ever made it bearable to live in were all of you," she expressed seriously. "If they wouldn't even allow you to live and come visit whenever, then I'd leave it in a heartbeat...just to be with all of you again."

Kensei chuckled at that and got them moving once more. "That's good to hear."

They lapsed into a semi-comfortable silence as they continued to walk through the forest, checking out the scenery and the animals that would occasionally cross their path. After awhile, Kensei found himself unable to hold back a question that had been burning inside of him since he realized she was afraid of him.

"Yukiko, what did Aizen have me do to you?" he finally asked. "I mean, no matter how rough or gruff I was with you or anyone else, you haven't been afraid of me. But now..."

"To be honest, you were the only one I clung to for so long," she almost whispered. The smile was gone now and he could feel her trembling even more. Maybe he really shouldn't have brought it up. "No matter how many times you killed me or hurt me, I was always able to brush it aside and say no that's not him. He would never. Every time I saw you in the illusions I always would go to your side, because I always felt safe with you."

Kensei was stunned by what she was saying. Being tortured for so long and she could honestly claim to have trusted him through all of it, even when she was losing trust in the others? But just long did it actually last? What had been the final straw?

"But then, he did something far worse," she continued. Her voice was cracking now under the strain and he stopped them again to let her focus on staying in control. "He shattered what I had...took the last piece of me clinging to my past. He took it and..."

"What did he do?" Kensei growled. He could feel his anger rising as he looked at the tears slipping from her trembling eyes and feel the hand on his arm shaking uncontrollably. His hollow sensed it as well and for the first time in years it hummed in pleasure at the anger. He ignored it and tried to place all his focus on the girl in front of him. "Yukiko, what did he do to reduce you to...?"

She cut him off as she suddenly released his arm and buried her face in his chest, a soft sob escaping her lips. "Please, Kensei, don't ask anymore. I don't remember," she sobbed openly. He cautiously wrapped his arms around her shuddering shoulders and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Just...please just hold me for a bit. I want this to be real. I want this to last."

Kensei squeezed her lightly, allowing one of his hands to gently stroke her back as she continued to bawl into his shirt, her fingers desperately grasping the front of it as if she was holding on for dear life. He wanted to know what had happened, what thing had been done to push her over the edge, but for the life of him he couldn't do it. Not when she was so distraught and begging him to keep her safe.

They stood still for a long time, just embracing each other. Kensei didn't say a word during all of it as he tried to allow her the time she needed to return to normal. Despite it, he couldn't help the small amount of pleasure he experienced knowing she'd done this on her own. That he was holding her again. Her scent reaching his nostrils making remember every time he'd carried her or had her close enough where he felt he was drowning in it and wishing he could be again. Just to get that sensation again, he lowered his head and placed a kiss on her hair, allowing him a chance to take a deep breath of her. He never wanted this sensation, this moment, to end.

But like all good things, she eventually got a hold of herself and slowly pulled out of his grasp. "I'm sorry about that," she murmured, brushing off the remnants of tears and trying to laugh. "And sorry about your shirt. I think I ruined it."

"It's fine," he grunted, trying to ignore the sensation of wetness on his shirt. It was actually fairly easy to do, especially when trying to ignore the lack of her pressed against him. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, a lot actually," she was smiling again and he was glad for that. "Well, let's finish our walk. Then maybe you can teach me a thing or two about cooking?"

He gestured for her to start moving and the two continued through the greenery. "You really want to learn?" he asked skeptically. "Or are you just wanting to see me do it?"

"No, I want to learn," she answered decisively. "That way I can cook something special for you one day."

He rolled his eyes at this but grinned despite himself. "Sure. I'll teach you something," he agreed.

After that, they fell into talking about things from the past and expressing things that irritate them about the current people as well. Kensei of course griped about the rest of the Vizards as well as Youruichi, Tessai, and Kisuke. Especially Kisuke. Yukiko found all of it to be funny and started telling him about her time with her four friends and what it was like meeting the new generation of soul society members. She even told him about facing off against Aizen, Tousen, and Gin to protect Byakuya. Something he ended up finding just as funny. To think just her wind barrier appearing was enough to put the two of them on guard and make Aizen's knowing smile fade was absolutely fantastic.

By the time they were done talking, they were back at the headquarters and it was almost time for dinner. So Kensei led her over to a kitchen she hadn't noticed before and locked the door. "To keep Mashiro from bugging us," he explained when she gave him a nervous look. Then he brought her over to the counter and they went through the ingredients available trying to figure out what to cook.

"How about stir fry?" she suggested, after a few moments of searching.

"Sure," he grunted. He grabbed what they needed for it and sliced the pork into small pieces, placing each into a pan. As he set that to frying, he grabbed some fresh vegetables and placed them onto the cutting board at which point he held a knife out to Yukiko. "Here, show me how you slice onions."

"Uh..." She wasn't too sure about this, but gingerly took the knife and made her first cut. It was really crooked and he could tell it probably slipped in her grip.

So, taking pity on her, he took up a spot directly behind her and moved his hands to cover hers. He could feel her hands tremble beneath his touch and ended up with his hollow grumbling about how he should just hit that while they were alone. "Here, like this," he murmured calmly. He helped her grip the knife properly, and hold one of the onion halves with the other. Then he slowly brought it down, allowing the blade to pass easily through the food. "You don't have to saw at it, just let the natural weight of the blade and the angle help it do its job."

"R-right," she stuttered.

She seemed to be trying to say something else as she set the blade down and Kensei once again heard his hollow encouraging him to do something he knew he shouldn't. He felt his hands take hers and slowly turn her around so she was facing him while he trapped her against the counter. Once again her scent was everywhere and he felt the heat rising in him once more. He lifted his hand and brushed the short strands out of her face and behind her ear.

"K-Kensei?" she murmured nervously.

Hearing his name spoken by a voice he believed he'd never hear again, her voice, made the words of his hollow all the more desirable. She wasn't pulling away from his touch, wasn't telling him to stop or slow down. Clearly this meant it was okay. He allowed one hand to slowly move over her cheek, ear, and hair until it latched onto the side of her head and pulled her forward.

There was no resistance on her part as he made sure to move slowly so she had ample time to stop him. But she didn't. He felt his lips smooth together with hers, tasting honey. He felt her freeze at the contact as well as shudder but he couldn't tell if it was fear or pleasure that caused it. So after a few moments of enjoying another kiss with her, he pulled back just enough to see her reaction. Control, he had to maintain control.

Her eyes were closed and he thought he saw her swallow hard. Believing he should end it there, he tried to take a step back, but then he felt her arms lift and wrap around his neck. He looked her in the eye and saw a silent plea in their depths. A plea that was accompanied by the sparkle in her eyes that seemed gone for good, until that moment.

This time she pulled him closer as she tried to stand on tiptoes to reach him and he could not deny her her request. They kissed again, and this time, his arms were around her pulling her in closer. His hands running over her back and sides, memorizing every inch of her as he fought to not go beneath the cloth. But he couldn't help moving his lips against her or smirking as she followed his lead.

As the kiss progressed, with neither wanting to stop, he felt her mouth open and naturally slid his tongue inside, exploring her mouth. He felt her moan at the touch and kept it going as she seemed to enjoy it.

Then all at once she pulled away from him and escaped from her confided area, retreating to a wall where she leaned against it, her hands pressed firmly against her head as tears fell down her cheeks. "Stop...please stop," she whimpered, her eyes closed and her entire body trembling.

"Yukiko," he murmured trying to get her attention.

As he spoke, her hold only tightened and she pulled farther away. And Kensei knew he couldn't approach her lightly and should probably just try and wait it out. He knew he'd pushed it too far allowing his tongue to get involved and probably should have stopped after the first kiss, but he couldn't leave her hanging when she was so clearly asking him to do it again. What had gone wrong?

"I-I'm sorry," she spluttered through her tears, moving toward the door. "But I-I can't..." He watched helplessly as she unlocked the door and pulled it open. "I'm so sorry...Kensei." Then she disappeared through it, flash stepping to the front door and out of sight.

"Yukiko!" he called after her, not wanting her to be alone right then.

His progress was stopped, however, as the blonde Vizard stood with a hand to his shoulder. "Let her go for now," he grumbled. "She's not completely alone, but you're only going to make it worse if you follow."

"Kensei, you big meanie!" Mashiro had also appeared and had stopped at the door to yell at him. "You hurt Ume." With that, she too ran through the door.

"Seriously, what did you do to set her off?" Shinji demanded.

"I don't know," Kensei groaned, stepping back into the kitchen and debating about whether or not to finish cooking.

"Well, what did you do in here?" the blonde asked trying to make his voice less accusing.

"We were just cooking," the silver haired Vizard muttered. "Then...I kissed her."

"And that's all it took?" Shinji asked. If that was the case he thought he knew where the fear had come from.

"No, she actually seemed to have liked it," Kensei answered, running a hand through his hair. I was going to leave it at that and go back to cooking, but she silently asked me for another. I don't know, maybe that alone pushed it over, or when I couldn't ignore her open mouth."

"Okay, I don't need all the gross details," Shinji cut him off waving his hands in emphasis. "I get it, you kissed her twice and on the second one it was turning into more of a make out. Then she just freaked?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't do anything else, or try to do anything else?"

Kensei gave him a look, daring him to finish his suggestion but the other just through up his hands again in defense.

"I got it, nothing else happened," he agreed. "Well, maybe you took one too many steps. Steps she wanted to handle, thought she could handle, and found she couldn't. Don't beat yourself up. She'll be back here tomorrow and everything'll be fine."

"Sure," Kensei grunted again. He didn't think the blonde was right, but wanted to believe it. So he returned to his cooking, finished the meal and set aside a helping in the fridge, for Yukiko when she came back. "You can beat this," he thought to himself. "You can beat him, Yukiko. Whatever you do, don't stop fighting."

Shippoman: Yukiko and Kensei were finally able to have some time alone and were even able to have some rather cute moments. But once again her memories got in the way and had to rush off. Poor Kensei's confused by what set her off but Shinji's pretty certain he knows now. Next chapter, find out Yukiko's side to this moment and see how things progress from here. Stay tuned and please remember to R&R. ;p

*note* Just as a side note, the cute little hug fest in the forest was inspired by the song "Hold me Now" by Red. Take a listen to it and you can see why I had to add it in.