Chapter 19:

"K-Kensei?"

Yukiko was surprised by the gesture her ex-captain had made. He'd never been that physical when it came to touching her before; aside from sparring and their one kiss anyway. She was having a hard time breathing as his hand continued to gently travel over her cheeks and grip the back of her head.

"No, stop him! You can't handle that right now!" Soyokaze cried out.

Yukiko suddenly became aware of Kensei's door shaking and realized what he was about to do. However, the idea of pulling away now left a bad taste in her mouth. "No, Soyokaze, I-I want to try."

Slowly, she felt him pull her forward as anticipation made her heart speed up. She could remember the feel of his lips and wanted to feel them again, to taste them. So, she didn't stop him and soon felt his lips smooth together with hers. She froze initially waiting for the door to fly open and make her push him off or something...but nothing happened.

The kiss ended and she evaluated what was going through her, but noticed that other than her rappidly beating heart, nothing had changed. His door continued to rattle lightly, warning that she was taking a risk, but all the memories that she'd gone through of everyone else told her that this Kensei wouldn't hurt her, that he was the one she kept wishing would come save her.

Just as she was understanding how she handled the kiss, a second one started and she felt her breath leave her. This was the real Kensei, her Kensei. He was holding her in his arms and kissing her. Finally, she was able to relax and notice that he tasted spicy, which made sense as they were cooking a spicy dish and he had tasted some of it.

Again the kiss ended and again the door shuddered, though this time it was a bit harder. Soyokaze warned Yukiko to leave it at that as a victory and get back to cooking. A part of her realized her sword was right, she shouldn't temp fate any more than she had...but, she didn't want it to end. She swallowed hard as she fought down her fears and opened her eyes to stare into his.

He looked worried and was pulling away from her. She realized he thought he'd done too much, and she wondered if whether he would ever do that again if he pulled back now. No, she wouldn't think like that, right now she just wanted a bit more. She wanted him to kiss her without holding back, even if just for a moment...like he did all those years ago, surrounded by her wind.

So, biting back her reservations and ignoring Soyokaze's warning, she wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him from pulling away any farther. She wanted to tell him that she wanted one more, but the words died in her throat so she put every once of that desire she could into the look she gave him. Then slowly, she pulled him down a bit while standing on tiptoes to reach him better and to her delight he granted her wish.

Once more he was kissing her and her mind went fuzzy as she felt him map out her body with his hands. She couldn't focus on that, however, as his mouth began moving against hers and she tried to follow until his tongue dipped inside. This came as a surprise to her, but unlike the stranger that had done it, this time she found herself enjoying the feel and moaning in delight. Oh how much she'd wanted this, and now she was finally experiencing being with Kensei and it felt good.

Then all at once, the good feelings were gone. "Yukiko! I can't hold it!"

The shout was the only warning she had before his door burst open and memories came flooding back. She fought them off as best as she could, but by the time she was able to open her closed eyes again, she was in a corner, curled up and crying. She looked up to see Kensei watching her with worry and guilt in his eyes. She hated herself. If she'd just heeded the warning signs, she wouldn't have hurt him, again. But, how could she possibly explain what was running through her mind in that moment?

"Yukiko," she heard him murmur. He sounded as if he was in so much pain and her tears poured faster down her cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry," she spluttered through her tears, moving toward the door. "But I-I can't..." She turned away from him, unlocked the door and pulled it open. "I'm so sorry...Kensei." Her heart was breaking as her inner self fought with Soyokaze to push all the memories behind the door, but it didn't seem to be working.

She darted through the kitchen door and out of the warehouse, moving as fast as she could back to her lone apartment. She could hear Soyokaze scolding her as they finally locked the memories away now that Kensei wasn't nearby. She knew her sword was right, but not going through with any of those kisses would have been torture...for both of them. At least now she understood that she could handle the light ones...but one with all that emotion tied to it was just too much.

"I'm so sorry, Kensei," she said to herself, stepping into her room and collapsing onto her bed.

It was still early and she hadn't eaten, but she didn't feel very hungry after all that either. In fact, she felt sick to her stomach. True, she had come a long way since coming to the world of the living, but she feared that her stunt that night had made her regress. She'd always known fixing her views on Kensei would be harder than anyone else, but she'd clearly underestimated just how difficult it would be.

"Yukiko, you need to get some rest," Soyokaze murmured, once the shuddering fully stopped. "If you do, you should have enough time to get some meditation in. Though I'd rather you wait until tomorrow to do that."

"You know I can't, Soyokaze," Yukiko said, turning over on her bed. Her eyes were closed now as she fully entered her inner world. "I'll rest, but I have to try at least once tonight. I have to."

After that, she fell asleep for a couple hours before her sword woke her and she sat up to begin her meditation.

When she went back to the Vizard's hideout the next morning, she was exhausted and depressed. She'd gotten dressed enough to keep Lisa and Rose off her back, but she couldn't bring herself to smile normally. Not after the mediation session she'd had the night before. What made it worse, was because she'd promised Mashiro a sparring session after her week was over, that meant that the moment she walked through those doors, she'd be pulled into another fight. She was not looking forward to that.

As expected, the moment she stepped through the doors she heard a loud shout and suddenly had her vision filled with nothing but green. "Ume! Yay, you're back!" She pulled back just enough to give Yukiko a huge grin, which did somehow manage to lift her spirits. "Don't let what Kensei did to you last night ruin your fun with us. He's just a stupid meanie. Let's go spar!"

The ex-fifth seat chuckled at this despite everything going through her head and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, let's go spar."

The two raced down to the training grounds where the rest of the Vizard were hanging out and watching Ichigo. Even Kensei was among them. Mashiro announced to everyone they would be sparring the moment they came within earshot and immediately rushed out to a point across from Yukiko, stretching her legs.

"You ready, Mashiro?" Yukiko called out, stretching as well. She knew sparring with Mashiro was always a chore. The woman didn't know how to hold back after all, and the ex-fifth seat ws very aware that if the other brought out her mask she'd be in trouble.

"Oi, Mashiro, no bringing out the mask, alright!" Yukiko smiled to herself at Shinji's order making her feel relieved. He was more aware than the rest of the Vizard what was going on with her after all.

Unfortunately the other didn't seem to hear or care as she immediately pulled on her mask and shot forward. Yukiko barely had enough time to block the blow, making her slide back through the dirt. The initial burst of fear at knowing the mask was going on all but vanished. That blow was stronger, but it was definitely Mashiro.

She allowed a smile to spread across her face as she began to dodge or block each of Mashiro's attacks. Each one seeming faster than the next, making it impossible for her to counter attack.

Then Yukiko heard someone yell at Mashiro to let up just as she drove a powerful kick into her arms sending her flying across the room. She heard several exclamations of anger and surprise, a few of the onlookers calling out to her.

"Are you alright?" Soyokaze asked from inside.

Yukiko didn't answer at first as she slowly pushed herself up from the rubble. She could feel a few doors shuddering, but that didn't last long as Mashiro called out to her.

"Ah, is that all you've got now, Ume? You've gotten slower."

Yukiko chuckled as she slowly got to her feet and smirked at her opponent. "Well, 107 years of no training with render anyone rusty," she murmured.

Inside she was struggling to comprehend something. "Did I really manage to see her last attack? It was so fast before. Is she slowing or something?"

"Yukiko, don't get distracted!"

Soyokaze's cry jolted Yukiko out of her thoughts as her opponent flew toward her with both feet aimed at her chest. "Mashiro….Drop Kick!"

Yukiko was able to see it coming just in time to jump to the side where she immediately had to block another kick. She dodged and blocked attack after attack, each one becoming easier to see clearly. It didn't make sense that Mashiro's hollow boosted speed was becoming easier to see through, but she wasn't going to question it either.

As another super kick was directed at her, she took it with her left arm, stepped to the side, and sent her own kick into Mashiro's chest. The vizard was sent flying across the training area, skidding to a halt some twenty yards away. Yukiko blinked a few times, looking at her hands, then back at Mashiro. Said vaizard had removed her mask and was standing up fully, her eyes sparkling in delight.

"Ume! That was awesome!" she shouted, jumping up and down.

Yukiko was amazed she'd landed a hit at all and glanced around, looking for confirmation about her hit. She noticed everyone that had been watching their fight seemed to be frozen mid stride, as if they'd been about to stop the fight. In fact, they appeared as stunned by what happened as she was.

"I...I scored a hit," she laughed.

Then, all at once, her eyes went out of focus as she realized she'd used far more power than she believed. She became distantly aware of her loss of balance as her body tipped over and the ground rushed up to meet her. However, instead of the jarring impact she was expecting, she felt arms wrap around her and gently lower her to the ground.

"Yukiko!"

The Vizard were by her side in an instant, Kensei having caught her before she hit the ground. Hachi quickly checked her over before smiling. "She's just exhausted," he explained easily. "I doubt she realized how much power she was putting out while trying to follow Mashiro."

"Yeah, that sounds about normal for her," Lisa sighed, turning back to her spot to return to her magazine.

"It was impressive of her to build up enough speed to catch her though," Rose pointed out, looking her over.

"Heh, she's always had a shit ton of power," Love chuckled.

The two ex-captains returned to what they were doing as well, leaving the girl's superiors alone. "She's going to give one of us a heart attack one of these days," Shinji sighed shaking his head. "But it's probably best if she doesn't stay passed out all day. I'll ask Orihime to help her out when she gets in."

"That friend of Ichigo's?" Kensei muttered, thinking about the orange haired girl from the teen's school.

"Yep, we already called her over to heal up Ichigo so he could return to his own training after all," Shinji answered with a smirk.

"And by call, I guess that's where Hiyori went," Kensei said in irritation.

"Of course, who else would we send?"

The silver haired Vizard rolled his eyes at the blonde as he lifted Yukiko into his arms, her tired frame pressing against his own, dragging up memories of years past. As he turned to take her someplace more comfortable, his path was blocked by the green-haired annoyance.

"Awe, is my match with Ume over already?" she demanded.

"We warned you to go easy on this fight and you didn't listen, so yeah it's over," Kensei shot at her.

"That's so not fair though," Mashiro complained. "She had longer fights with Shinji and Hiyori."

"They also weren't using their full strength," Kensei growled, glaring daggers at her. "You could have seriously hurt her, idiot."

Mashiro stuck her tongue out at him as she pouted, but he ignored it. Instead he moved over to a cleared area and lay her down, her head resting on his lap. He knew there was the chance she'd freak if she woke up to see him leaning over her, but he wanted to giver her a sign that he was going to look out for her. Something simple to show how much she meant to him.

He waited in silence, ignoring the other around him as he gently stroked her head, moving the loose hair out of her sweaty face. He looked her over every once in awhile, noticing a few bruises appearing on her arms and legs. She probably hadn't even noticed the amount of damage Mashiro was doing to her. The idiot. She always did push herself too hard.

Eventually Orihime showed up and got to work healing Ichigo the moment she saw him. It didn't take long for the annoying teen to be back on his feet and having Hiyori dragging him off to train some more. Realizing he'd better move fast, Kensei gently laid Yukiko's head on the ground before dashing over to Orihime's side and dragging her back to his ex-10th seat.

"Ume!" she exclaimed, the moment she saw her. "What happened to her? There are bruises everywhere!"

"She was sparring with Mashiro who can't hold back," Kensei grunted. "Just heal her."

"Of course!" She put out her hands and once again the three pieces of her barrette came out and surrounded the ex-soul reaper.

Slowly, the bruises began to fade and Yukiko's eyes fluttered open. After a moment or two, she began looking around, her eyes settling on the woman healing her.

"Orihime?" she asked slowly. "I wasn't that bad off, was I?"

"You got the shit beat out of you," Kensei said before Orihime could get her mouth open. "And you over did it again."

Her eyes slipped to him when he spoke and he could see the flicker of fear and uncertainty cross over them. But it faded and she forced herself to sit up as she looked away. "You really shouldn't be moving just yet, Ume," she said quickly. "You haven't completely healed."

"I'm fine," Yukiko said, trying to get to her feet. She stopped almost instantly, however, and gripped her arms. "Okay, maybe I'm not...what happened?"

"Mashiro hits a lot harder with her mask on, idiot," Kensei answered, dropping his fist on her head in irritation. "You were so caught up in trying to keep up with her you never noticed." He felt amused by the glare she shot him and smirked. "She could've snapped your arm if your match kept going."

Yukiko took several deep breaths before smirking up at Kensei. He was thrown for a loop at the expression, as he couldn't ever remember her directing that look at him. "I would have been just fine," she told him. "Mashiro would have never hit me hard enough to break bones. Stupid, mean-Kensei."

He just stared at her for a few moments, wondering if maybe she'd hit her head and thought she was the green-haired Vizard. Then he watched her smirk degrade as she fell into a fit of restrained giggles. "What the hell was that?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist," she laughed, wiping her eyes. "You were being a bit harsh and I wanted to show it. The expression on your face was well worth acting like Mashiro for a moment."

Kensei sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, though he had to hide the grin that wanted to appear. The fact she could laugh so freely, and act like Mashiro so perfectly told him she'd come a lot farther than he believed she could. When he finally got a hold of himself, he noticed she was getting to her feet again, ignoring Orihime's protests. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"Home," she answered without looking at him. "I think I've spent too much energy here for today. I'll be back tomorrow to start my bankai training though."

"Yukiko." Something didn't feel right. Her entire demeanor seemed to change in the blink of an eye again. Instinctively, he stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling her trembling beneath his fingers. What was going on? After a few seconds, she jerked away from him, and continued toward the stairs like nothing happened.

He watched in confusion and pain as she walked away from him, smiling her farewells to the others and giving out hugs to all but Shinji. "I'll see you all tomorrow," she promised. "Please help me get strong enough to help during the war."

The other Vizard all promised to do so in their own way, Kensei watching on with clenched fists. What had he done wrong? What happened this time? All he did was try and make sure she was alright, but still nothing changed. She was afraid of him and didn't want him touching her. Though they'd shared those two long embraces just the day before. What was different now? He hated to think of it, but felt that no matter what he did or tried, she would never be his. Her heart would never belong to him and would eventually be given to someone else. This was his punishment for letting her go in the first place.

Shippoman: Sorry about the SUPER long wait. I've been dealing with a lot these past few months and working off and on with this chapter. I hope its up to the same standards as the rest though, and didn't jump around too much. So in June my husband quit his job in anticipation for a move that happened two months later. I spent those two months working, packing, and cleaning our apartment. Then moving day came and we still weren't ready. We suck at moving. After the move I had to focus on finding a job, which I did. And finally I was able to write again but had my focus placed more on stories I'm writing with my co-writer Copper Moon.

Anyway, enough about my crappy life. On with the chapter pre-view!

Yukiko's made some amazing headway, and is even finding ways to get even stronger than before, however, there's still some major lingering issues. Kensei's losing hope of getting the old Yukiko back again. Will there be anything that can help the two bridge the gap created by 107 years of separation and some unknown torture? Stay tuned to find out.