KAZ
She's been gone too long. A quick building check wouldn't take this much time. I open the window and look out over the city. It's then that I hear the sirens.
Panic fills me. I know it's her. I can feel it in the way my bones ache - like I've lost something necessary. I grab my cane and move down the stairs as quickly as I can. Before I reach the door, Gobber fills the entryway.
"It's the warehouse. Down on 5th. There was a bomb. It's on f-" I push past him. I know enough. A few of the Dregs fall in behind me, taking in my silent hustle and following without question. I consider taking to the roofs but I doubt it will save much time and I can't risk the height when my mind is so divided. As we draw closer, I point down the alleyway to my right. Two men peel off to scout. Another wave and two more hurry away from my left.
I'm two streets away when I see the flames.
I shouldn't be able to see the flames from here. If the fire has moved, it means it's destroyed the building it began with. And if that's true...
No. I will not make assumptions. Not now.
I turn the corner and I see it, flames leaping out of the back of the warehouse, the whole structure nearly consumed. I don't stop.
"Boss! Don't go in!"
"Come back!"
"The building is going to collapse!"
All heard and disregarded. I throw my cane aside. If she's in here, I will find her. If she's dead, I might as well go with her. I tug my suit jacket over my mouth and enter. Black smoke pumps around me. I can't see more than a couple inches ahead of me and even that is hazy, unsure.
I would come for you.
I remember my promise. It seems so long ago now. It still rings true. I will always come for her. I get down on my knees and crawl through the smoke, knowing the best air hangs below the cloud of darkness that threatens to take me into it and never let go.
If I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you.
I have no idea where I'm headed. No plan. The warehouse is large but thankfully, mostly open. I glance around the floor I can see. Nothing stands out. I move forward more, casting glances aside like waves off a ship's bow. No matter where I look, I cannot see her. I make my way toward the back, knowing the office in the back is the only closed off space where she might be hidden. My body is racked by coughs. My leg aches as I drag it across the floor. I can feel the heat singeing away the edges of my clothing. I can see the hallway now, barely. The darkness extra thick there.
Somewhere above me, I hear a creak, not the common kind but a loud, squealing creak that sounds more like metal bending upon itself, ripping away from wood. I know I have minutes left - if that. It's at that moment that I see something, a lump, a body - perhaps? farther down the hallway. I force myself to crawl towards it carefully, taking deep breaths through the fabric of my jacket. A few feet more and I'm sure. It's definitely a body.
But is it her? Another foot, maybe two, and I see her slight form. She lays, unmoving, crumpled against the wall. The office area beyond her is completely missing. Another squeal, like a warning shot, sounds above me. I have seconds, maybe. I dash forward, flames catching on the edge of my shirt, licking my sides, as I rush to her. I scoop her up in one motion, not stopping to evaluate direction, and continue toward where the office used to be. There is only a blackened hole now. I throw myself through it and attempt to roll, her body clutched tight to me. My leg gives out and the motion lands us both in an ungainly heap just outside the teetering walls of the warehouse. I give one more push, trying to get us as far from the building as I can.
Behind me, I feel the searing air rush out of the warehouse as the roof collapses. I clutch Inej close to me, trying to shield her body with mine. I feel hot ash land on my back, my shirt falling in tatters around me. I try to lift her, to move us both away but I can't. My lungs scream in protest. The lack of oxygen freezing my muscles in place. Shouts sound somewhere nearby. Then there are people and I clutch Inej even tighter. I don't know who they are. My eyes feel as though they've been burned right along with my clothes. The ash has blinded me. I can hear familiar voices, friendly voices, laced with concern. I cannot differentiate between them. Their words come in too loud and too soft until I realize it's my ears that must be ringing. Someone tries to pull Inej away and my grip tightens.
"Boss," I hear someone say. "Boss." A pause. "Kaz," the voice says slowly. I recognize it although I cannot say from where. Something in it uncurls my hands slightly. I move back and try to focus on Inej. I'm not even sure if she's breathing. I don't know how I'm breathing.
My small movement draws action from the people around me. Someone pulls me back farther and, while I want her close to me again, I allow myself to be drawn away. She is still only a foot from me, her hand in my reach. I look down at my gloves. The leather seems to be melted onto my skin and I note with curious detachment that it will probably hurt to peel it off. I make no move to do so. I look back at Inej. She is laid out flat. Her face tipped back. Another girl is leaning over her. She places her ear to her chest, listening. She looks up at the boy next to her and shakes her head.
No. I know what that means. I refuse to believe it. Not now. I grab the boy.
"Bring me Ashiana," I grind out. The boy steps back, nods once and disappears into the dark.
Sooner than I expected, I hear voices, her voice. Ashiana is a healer. Another girl I bought from a pleasure house. She reminded me of Nina and I was right to think so. While she isn't a Heartrender, her skills have been useful on many occasions. She's a Ravkan Grisha. Stolen like Nina. Like Inej. People part around her and she comes to my side.
"Kaz, what-" I brush her away, motioning to Inej.
"Her. Save her." I'm surprised she understands me. My voice scrapes out so low, I doubt it's really audible. She catches my meaning, even if she can't hear me. She moves to Inej's side. The girl who listened to Inej's heart originally says something to her quickly and Ashiana repeats her motion, leaning down to listen to her chest. I refuse to admit that I don't see it rising and falling. Her eyes meet mine as she listens and I see sorrow. My fingers clench in the dirt and ash.
"Kaz, I-" my hand slices through the air, cutting off any excuses.
"Ashiana," I growl though it's more of a plea than I care to admit.
Tell me you can fix her. Tell me you can save her. She takes a long look at me and turns back to Inej. With a deep breath, she closes her eyes and begins to move her hands over Inej slowly. Starting at her head, to her chest, her stomach and back up again. She does this several times.
I can tell a crowd has formed around us as their bodies block the heat that still scorches my back. Finally, she places her lips on Inej's and seems to blow into her - as though she can impart life with breath alone.
Nothing happens.
She looks at me again. Something in my eyes must convince her to try again because she turns to Inej again. Another round of the hands. Again, she leans down, her lips slanting across Inej's. This time, though, I see a shallow rise to Inej's chest. It's almost imperceptible. I would've missed it if I hadn't been staring so intently. Ashiana notices it too. This time, she doesn't look at me. She continues of her own accord. On the third time, Inej draws breath on her own. It is followed by a round of coughing so harsh I'm afraid her lungs might relinquish their linings. She tries to curl onto her side but movement stills, her body too weak to move. I see Ashiana's hands start to move over her again but I cannot keep watch this time. I move forward slightly, one inch, two, and collapse beside Inej.
JESPER
Wylan turns over next to me with a groan when the knock comes at the door.
"What in the saints name is it?" He calls out sleepily. I slide out of bed and find my clothes scattered across the floor. I'm already buttoning my pants when one of the maids says, haltingly, "I'm Ms. Ghafa, sir." She sounds as though she'd rather be anywhere but here. Wylan rolls over again, sits up, and tries to focus in the dark. I turn the light on next to our bed. He blinks, bleary-eyed, and rubs his face. I'm in headed for the door before he gathers himself enough to get out of bed. I pull the door open too quickly, almost losing control of it. I stop it before it hits the wall.
"What's wrong?" I ask. There has to be something grievously wrong if the maids are waking us up. There's no way Inej would make this kind of fuss. Even if she was injured, she'd climb her way into the house and tend to her wounds before she would let us know.
"She's here, sir. They brought her-" I push past her.
"Where is she?"
"She's in her room, sir. A lady came with her. And Mr. Brekker." Of course, Kaz would be involved in this somehow. No way Inej got injured all by herself. I haven't seen Kaz in almost a month. I take jobs from him occasionally but he rarely finds a reason to call. I've been focused on staying away from the lower areas of Ketterdam. Gambling halls are strewn across every corner. I find it's easier to avoid the desire if they stay out of my line of vision. I head up the stairs to Inej's room. Behind me, I hear Wylan muttering instructions to the staff. The door is open and light spills into the hall.
I barely spare Kaz a glance as I enter. A girl is leaning over Inej. I vaguely recognize her as one of the few Grisha Kaz has in his employ. Her hands are moving over Inej, fixing unseen injuries. Kaz looks harried. I can see his anger, tightly restrained. Both of them look to be covered in thick layer of black dust. The whole room smells like hundreds of candles have just been extinguished. I take another look at Kaz. I know that face, I've seen it before. It's the same look he had when Inej was nearly killed before we left for the Ice Court. It's both frightening and pitiful - like he wants to kill someone and fall apart at the same time. However, Kaz Brekker does not fall apart. He might just kill someone though.
"What happened?" I question quietly.
"Bomb," Kaz growls, his voice lower and even gruffer than usual.
"Where?"
"A warehouse on 5th."
"How did Inej end up in a warehouse with a bomb?" It's a stupid question, a risky question, a clearly rhetorical question. We all know how she ended up there. Kaz turns his glare on me. I may have just taken my life in my hands. He stays silent, his focus returning to Inej. I hear Wylan enter behind me.
I can't tell if the Grisha has fixed the external injuries and left behind only dried blood or if Inej's internal injuries are so expansive that she hasn't had time to remedy them. If she hasn't, those sheets will be bloody very soon. Wylan must have noticed as well because I hear him step into the hallway to ask for towels, water, and extra sheets.
Wylan re-enters and I step back beside him. I give him a rundown of all I know, which lasts about 10 seconds.
"I didn't even know she was gone. She went to her room this afternoon while you were out. You know she's kept mostly to herself since she arrived. I didn't even think to worry when she missed dinner," he responds. I nod in agreement. A maid, Marian, enters with a bowl, a pitcher, and a stack of linens. After several more minutes of tense silence, the Grisha looks up and clears her throat.
"While I'm sure she," gesturing to Inej, "would appreciate your presence and support, it's rather difficult to focus with all of you staring at me. If you wouldn't mind-" Wylan waves his hand, cutting her off.
"Of course, we will wait down the hall." Wylan and I turn to go. I look at Kaz pointedly but he ignores me.
"Kaz, your stare could cut through a brick wall. Come get something to eat or at least, sit down. You look like you're practically dead on your feet." Anger still churns in my gut. She hasn't even been here a week and Kaz is already getting her into trouble. She's supposed to be here to rest. I know I'm being unreasonable. Inej is a big girl. She can make her own decisions. Knowing doesn't stop my worry from placing blame though. The Grisha looks at him and nods, either in agreement or encouragement - maybe both.
"Call me as soon as you're done," he grinds out. With that, he turns carefully and walks out of the room, his limp so pronounced that I'm surprised he doesn't lean against the wall for support.
Saints forbid Kaz show something as weak as needing physical support after narrowly escaping death by fire, I think unkindly. I follow him down the hall until we reach the back bedroom. It is one of the largest in the house, nearly as large as the master. We enter into a sitting room. The actual bedroom is off through the door on the left. I enter the door on the right, a small office that looks over the city. I use this office occasionally, mostly for entertaining merchers that I don't want in the main office. Thanks to this occasional use, I keep a large stock of different liquors. Nothing helps a deal along like alcohol.
I grab one of the clear decanters. I don't even glance at the liquid. I don't care what it is. I just need something strong. Wylan handles me a crystal rocks glass and places another on the desk. I should ask the maids for ice but close the door instead. I'm not interested in being overheard right now.
I fill both glasses with a healthy dose before placing the decanter on the table top. I sit down in the chair behind the desk and take a sip, more like a gulp, and relish the feeling of it burning its way down my throat. Kaz takes his glass and sits as well. He doesn't drink though. Wylan remains standing by the door, looking between Kaz and I nervously.
"I guess we're even then," I start out suddenly. Kaz doesn't meet my eyes but I know he understands me. He blamed me, rightly so, for nearly getting Inej killed before the Ice Court job. Now, it's his turn to carry the weight of blame.
"That's not necessary, Jes," Wylan says softly. My fingers drum on the arm of the chair. I take a smaller sip and resist the urge to pace. I don't know why this leaves me so shaken. It's not like we haven't been in rough scrapes before. It's not like we haven't faced death, cheated it, multiple times. Perhaps, it's because Inej has just returned. I barely feel like I've gotten her back, after a year of waiting, worrying, and now she's so close to slipping away. Perhaps, it's because I've gotten used to this life with Wylan. I don't encounter death everyday. It doesn't chase me through the streets as it used to. Not that there haven't been issues uptown. Upstart criminals, looking to make their mark on the merchant class, have made the mistake of assuming Wylan and I, young as we are, are weak - easily open to attack. They quickly learned their mistake.
The three of us stew in uneasy silence, unused to the tension. Wylan breaks first.
"Who is the Healer?"
"Her name is Ashiana."
"Is she good?" I venture.
"Good enough." For the first time in a long time, I see Kaz reveal worry in his actions. He runs a hand through his hair, ash wafting to the floor as it dislodges from the strands. The motion draws Wylan's notice too and our eyes meet over his head.
"Do you want something to eat?" Wylan offers, always the host. Kaz only shakes his head. "I'm going to order some tea." This almost brings a smile to my face. Tea is Wylan's answer to stressful situations. I used to make fun of him for it. Now, I usually join him. Tonight, I think I'll stick with the stronger stuff. I enjoy another sip as Wylan exits in search of a maid. I eye Kaz.
"Was it important?" Was sending her on this little mission at least worth something? I see Kaz's eyes close briefly, his face tilts away from me, and I know.
"Why, then? Why send her? Why, when you know all she wanted was-" I stop myself just in time. Kaz and Inej have been dancing around this for as long as I can remember. I think I knew before they did. With that knowledge in mind, I recognize that it's not my place to say what either of them wants. If Kaz is too hard-headed to accept what's in front of him, let him suffer for it. Maybe Inej will get the message and find someone who can give her what she deserves.
Wylan re-enters and Marian follows him in with a tray of tea. She nods at me and disappears from sight, shutting the door silently behind her. The next few minutes I listen to the sound of Wylan pouring tea, adding sugar to his and stirring carefully. I see him pour another cup. He gently takes the glass from Kaz's hand and places it within reach on the desk. He hands him a cup of tea instead.
"Drink this. It will help your throat." Kaz nods and takes a sip. I'm not used to this quiet, non-combative Kaz. I used to his scheming face, which seems to make a sound simply by existing. I'm accustomed to the soft taps of his cane on the floor as he plans. I'm used to his rough voice, talking through logistics, demanding facts, or handing out orders. The Kaz I know would be hunting down those responsible through the night, injuries or no. He'd be breaking knees and ripping out eyes. He'd be making threats and demands that left people cowering in his wake. I don't know what to do with this Kaz except pity him and I'm a long away off from pity for Kaz. You don't pity a monster when it's too tired to fight. You get thankful and then run for your life.
A knock at the door startles all of us. Wylan quickly opens it. Marian stands quietly outside the door, looking concerned.
"The healer says she is finished with Ms. Ghafa for now. She asked-" Kaz is up and out the door, pushing past her before she can finish her sentence. She looks a little shocked. Normally, Wylan would stop to soothe the staff. Instead, he follows Kaz. I'm only a step behind.
Kaz moves faster than I thought he could, as injured as he seems. He's down the hall and to the door just as Ashiana closes it behind her.
"Kaz, wait," she holds up a hand. He stops but I can tell he's glaring at her from the wilting look on her face. She buoys up some backbone and motions to us. "Why don't we talk elsewhere? She needs to rest."
"Unless she's better, I'm not sure why you're not in there with her," Kaz's tone is cutting but Ashiana doesn't waver.
"I can't do anything more right now. She's stable. I'm not leaving. Just taking a break to gather myself and update you. I told the maid I needed some food and that I'd take it with all of you." Which we would've known, if we'd listened to Marian. "Can we go to another room? I'd rather not eat standing in a hallway." As if on command, a new maid approaches from the stairs holding a tray of food. Sentria is older than Marian. She stays mostly in the kitchen as she and the cook are sisters. We retreat back to the end of the hallway again, this time gathering around the small table in the sitting room.
"Thank you," Ashiana smiles kindly at the maids as they leave. As soon as the door is shut, Kaz is prowling around the table, training his anger on Ashiana.
"Well?" He really does sound bad. While I know he won't, he should get her to look over him.
"It's not good. The thermal injuries to her upper airways are only the start. The carbon monoxide should've killed her. It nearly did..." she glances at Kaz. I wish I knew exactly what lay in that look. "I've tried to neutralize the soot that is coating her lungs but... internal injuries are always difficult. Then there are the physical injuries. The explosion must have blown her back because several ribs were broken. One punctured her left lung. I had to heal it before I could even get that lobe functioning again. Clearing out the fluid...it's taken some time. I haven't even started on the external injuries, although thankfully they aren't nearly as serious. Most of them are surface abrasions from the explosion and minor burns from the fire. All reparable. I'll start again as soon as I've had some food. And Kaz-" she's greeted with another glare. She shakes it off admirably.
"At least let me evaluate you, Kaz. If her injuries are that bad, you have to have some internal damage. Your lungs-" he waves her off.
"I'm fine. Save your strength for her."
"An evaluation doesn't take much energy. If you'd just let me look-"
"No."
"Kaz..." Wylan starts.
"I said no." His tone brooks no argument although the edge to it, much rougher than usual, gives him away. Still, we all know there's no convincing him. Ashiana shrugs, attempting dismissal.
"Alright. If you won't allow it, at least let me eat in peace." He doesn't move. "Peace doesn't include your rude glares." I'm impressed by her will to stand up to him. Not many people have it, myself often included. He turns from her, moving into the office and towards his cooling tea. He picks it up, takes a sip and sets it back down again. This time, he reaches for the glass. He throws it back, swallowing the entire thing in one go. I'm impressed although I do my best not to show it. He stalks back into the room, as swiftly as his leg will allow. He moves to the door.
"Let her rest, Kaz." He throws a look over his shoulder. I'm not sure if he'll heed her advice or not. He opens the door and pauses in the doorway, his back to us.
"Get back to her soon." With that, he leaves, his footsteps heavy on the stairs. I know what lays in her long, parting look. I've seen it on many women over the years. Monster or no, he has presence and power. Apparently, people find it attractive. Even I have, on occasion. However, he's only ever held that look for one woman.
"So, how can we help?" Ashiana smiles although there's a distinct sign of exhaustion behind it.
"Tea would be lovely. And more food, please." Wylan smiles. This is his kind of woman.