Khr ain't mine

Thanks for reviewing, TealP0nd ^o^. I've got a bunch of ideas for the story, so you can look forward to seeing it continue for a pretty long time

I hope you like the story

Feel free to write how you felt regarding it

Chapter 2

Zero to Hero

Tsuna, should have, in retrospect really examined his office drawer. If he did so, he wouldn't have been so optimistic that the switcharoo would actually work.

A guy who looks exactly like him but more successful? What could possibly go wrong.

For one thing, apparently, it was strange as hell that 'he' would choose to lock himself in a room instead of joining in for breakfast with the rest of the family.

His maid (wait, the guy actually has maids and butlers? Is it like his maid cafe fetishes carried over or something?) looked at him suspiciously. Well yeah, the master of the house apparently sleeps on the guest bean bags instead of, I don't know, his freaking bed.

Then you know something's up.

'Come up with something fast, Dame-Tsuna!'

"Lovely day we're having, right? Birds are singing, flowers are blooming with crystal-like dews..."

He turned his head to see the curtains closed, from end to end. His maid took pity on his floundering, to his utmost embarrassment.

"Yes, the forecast said we'll be seeing clear skies, and the temperature's not too warm or hot. We've set up breakfast downstairs. Please don't forget about it in... your... appreciation of natural beauty" she said looking dubiously at the closed curtains.

He blushed scarlet at that.

He couldn't have done that smoother! Congratulations, he fit here faster than a baseball with a glove.

There was a bigger obstacle here. He looked towards the door

'Could she possibly be hinting at the possibility that this guy has breakfast with people? Why couldn't he be a prick who has breakfast in bed, gosh darn it!

I can't be a functional human being with the people around me, how can I get along with people I've never met before?!'

But he had to face the light and meet his maker, because standing here is no solution, unfortunately.'

As he headed downstairs via a spiraling staircase, he thought.

'What's the point of this staircase, it just increases the time to get a floor below. But, wait a minute... In my case, it's like giving me time before I face the gallows...

Thank you, Mr. staircase, for your mercy!'

There were people in maid and butler costumes moving around the floor, and two of them were setting up the table, the ones found in a noble's house or from that Dracula movie.

'No way in hell will I sit there.'

In his desperation, he turned to the maid setting things up.

"It's all right if you don't set things up! I mean it's only me, and that's just more work, right? Maybe we can just eat at the... kitchen. Yeah, let's all eat at the kitchen instead."

Because he'd die of heart attack if he were to eat in that long table with chandeliers on top of it and crystal plates with goblets as glasses. Even if his kage bunshin was richie rich, he was perfectly fine being the court jester, thank you very much!

"Tsuna-sama... That's right, isn't it... With your guardians on missions, parents on vacation and Dino-sama and Reborn-sama with the Millefiore right now... The table feels awfully lonely."

'Who on earth are they? It sounds like a B movie plot or something. Rich dude in a mansion has guardians and affiliations with a mafia sounding famiglia. But suddenly, dun dun dun! He gets pwned by the mafia famiglia while the guardians have something to do. Then a civilian pops up in the scene... Wait, actually if this were a movie, I'd buy popcorn to that

But I'd rather not be the lead!'

Another one popped up and grabbed his hand to her chest. Tsuna had to control every nerve in his body to not flinch and give things away. He did not do touch!

More like he was Medusa: Touch ver (Sounds like an app)

"You don't have to feel lonely, Tsuna-sama! We, maid and butlers, are here for you! So, let's go and eat shall we?"

He did play a lot of games from his never-ending loneliness and knew enough to recognize maid moe right there, but what was happening was horror material. Because the two petite maids were dragging him to the kitchen when he was bursting in flames from the close proximity touch from humanity. He had a certain tolerance to humans, but he's reached that threshold by now. So if he could please get his wish granted right now, could he hole up in his bean bag and let his cheeks go back to their normal color?

Tsuna got dragged into a lot of things, either physically or accidentally. This time, he was pulled by two petite women into a kitchen. This, he did not mind, even if it meant that these ladies might cook him in a pot... Wait, pot? Lying at the center of the kitchen was a pot, no... cauldron, and for the life of him, he could not figure why on earth was it there.

There were suspicious herbs that screamed poison, and he wondered who was the eccentric who used them here. He hoped that he wouldn't be subjected to whatever someone would brew out of it (Tough luck, Tsuna)

There was a stew brewing, so naturally, he served the food onto the plates and passed them around, then a light bulb moment hit him.

'Wait, shouldn't these guys be doing that? Shoot, I've done something the master of the place wouldn't-'

Only to see them munching on the food in the plate. That guy did this normally? What a strange dude, it's like he treats the people working in the mansion as friends.

"Tsuna-sama *munch munch* why're you speaking to us in Japanese anyway?"

He whipped his head around to face the maid... uh, casually...

"I get what you mean Lisa- He normally speaks us in Italian."

'Wait, wtf?!'

"You took so long to listen to a suggestion I made, once upon a time. What's the change of heart?"

"I remember! You told us 'Since Italian is the language we've grown up with, and we're living in our home, Italy. So it'll be much better if I spoke Italian instead'. It was so cute!"

'Holy f*ck. I'm in Italy?! These guys expect me to speak Italian?! I can't speak English properly, and my Japanese is still horrible according to my grades and these guys want me to know another language?!'

"...Ah, sorry about that. It's just that, I've been feeling a bit homesick."

'What bullsh*t! We're living in the era of skype and cell phones!'

"Oh... That's right. It must feel strange, not being able to call your mother daily, now that the two are exploring the Amazon jungle. Internet reception is bad there."

'Why on earth did they go there?! Normally people go to Paris or something for a romantic respite in the extreme case! I thought they'd be touring Okinawa or something!'

"Young love is beautiful, isn't it? They go for such romantic adventures~" they sighed wistfully.

'If being young consists of gathering enough courage to go to jungles with man-eating piranhas and predators with disease infecting insects all round, not sparing you when you eat, sleep or bathe.

I'm a 200-year-old geezer!'

"Speaking of which, you've also been somewhere similar right? Namimori's death mountain. That mountain can hold a dozen candles to the Amazon jungle, right?"

"It can light a forest fire to the jungle if what I saw in the documentary is right-"

'There's no one insane enough to actually go there- Wait, what?! The owner is bat sh*t crazy.'

"My, you must be so brave back then too. Since Reborn-sama took you to train there at 13. Seven years later, you people are still quite the daredevils! You guys should think about what we feel too!"

'Correction: Reborn and this guy are bat sh*t crazy. I hope the day when I face this Reborn never come...'

Breakfast was the most fun he had in his life and that told a lot about him... But when he went back to the bedroom, he looked at the figure and contemplated.

'This guy's twenty even if we look alike, huh? Well, you can't have everything, I guess. Maybe I'll have more luck in my twenties and finally hit a growth spurt.'

The body looked a bit pinkish, and the room stunk a bit, so he felt a bit worried. Tsuna took out the room fresher tablets and surrounded the body with them.

"That should take care of it!"

He then looked around the bookcase for a book on Italian languages.

'No Learning Italian for dummies, huh?'

He was stuck in a country far from Japan in a place where either homicide took place, or he was involved in it for some reason. His parents were out in Amazon so he couldn't contact them for advice. So he was out here, warming up to people who were a dead person's family, impersonating as him...

Way to throw him to the dogs, universe.

But it wasn't like he could just surrender to his fate, right? He didn't know when the people who were dear to this person will appear. Then he's got no choice but learn more about him, right? But first, he must be as close as possible to 'normal'

He would have to fit the shoes of a person who the world would consider as life's winner, while he was the bottom rung. But he had a fighting chance.

So he spent his free time, trying to learn a foreign language from its common phrases.

Soon the sun set, and the moon peaked out informing him that it was time to reflect on whether he could fight or not.

Of all the 100s of phrases he tried to cram in, he could... unfortunately remember only one;

"Ti Amo"

'That probably shouldn't be said in this residence.'

He could practically see it in the headlines! He would go blurt it out to a maid and probably start a scandal ending with them eloping to Japan or something. The only flaw he could see with the master of the house was that he was a shrimp, but that would be the pot calling kettle black.

But maybe it's better for last resort since the guy is my Dad's boss who coincidentally has my name, looks like me but is twenty years old which was probably screaming at him that he ought to be the greatest idiot in the world to believe they weren't the same, despite different ages.

His mind told him the odds of finding a person who looked like they were your clone with their name and lived in Namimori and had a mother whose husband was Iemitsu were probably astronomically low. Wasn't there a saying 'If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck, it's a duck'? Though, he wasn't sure that he acted like the master. But it should mean something if he could get away with pretending to be like him today, right?

If they were the same, does that mean he was this Sawada Tsunayoshi's doppelganger? Because... in this world where 'he' apparently reached success...

He was the inferior copy, wasn't he?