ASHIANA
Inej arrives at my room about mid-morning and I admittedly have to drag myself out of bed to answer the door.
"I'm glad you're up," is her greeting and I consider informing her that I was not, in fact, up until now. Instead, I nod and move back into my bedroom. Although we've spent the majority of the last few weeks together, I feel like the last two days have created a vast gap between us. My experience, my abilities, my past, none of it measures up to half the decisive actions I saw Inej and Kaz take yesterday. Was it only yesterday?
They were not only cool under pressure but they dealt with the horror we saw without missing a beat. Of course, Inej struggled with some of it in the aftermath but in the moment, they were strong, sure and, most of all, they were a team. I try to ignore the flash of jealousy that rises at the memories. I love Inej. After only a few days, I recognized that she has a beautiful soul and I'm lucky to have her in my life. I'm thankful for the sister I have found in her. I know the Saints have brought us together for this time.
Still, I cannot help that the envy that creeps into my mind when I watch her and Kaz. I knew, even before I met her, that Kaz and his Wraith were a team. Even though she was gone for a year, everyone still whispered about them as though they were a pair. Of course, it was understood that no one talked about her around Kaz. Apparently, mentions of the Wraith were met with a terrifyingly cold stare that left grown men shaking in their boots. I didn't understand why until now. Watching them together... it was like they knew each other's every move, every thought, before it occurred. They fought without words, seeming to know what the other was thinking and reacting accordingly. All that after a yearlong leave of absence. I can't imagine what it was like for them, apart for so long. It would be like living without a side of your soul.
"Are you alright?" Her voice shakes me out of my reverie. I give her the best smile I can muster while rubbing sleep out of my eyes.
"Yes. Just a little tired."
"I know. I look out the window and feel like I slept for so long but my body is still aching for more." She shakes her head. "Can't be helped though. Time to start the day." I'd like to argue that I have no particular reason I need to start today but I'm not going to drive her away by complaining.
"I suppose so," I say, sitting back on my bed, doing my very best to resist curling back up in it.
"Let's get you in some clothes. Kaz wants to talk about yesterday." I groan.
"Didn't we already do that?" She rolls her eyes and laughs.
"Things always look clearer with a little time. We could use a fresh perspective as well. I'm off to get Wylan and Jesper after you." I sigh.
"Fine. Go on. I'll meet you up there." She stops then, her arms still reaching into my closet.
"Are you sure you're alright?" She continues her motion then, collecting and drawing out an outfit for me. Yes, fine, I love watching you with the man I wanted. I don't let the thought cross my mind long enough to give me pause. It's a pointless thought, useful only to drive a wedge between us. I refuse to allow it. Kaz was never interested in me. He was never interested in anyone and now, I know why.
"Of course. Still waking up. Will you ring for some coffee?" With a smile, she nods.
"I'll do it before I leave. Here are some clothes. They look comfortable." I glance at them but wave them away.
"Unless you intend for us to go out, I'm not wearing those. And I do not intend on going out. You and Kaz can do what you want but I'm staying here." She laughs.
"Trust me, I have very little interest in the outside world right now. Unfortunately, the outside world may be interested in encroaching on us. Best to be proactive." She turns back to my closet. "What would you like?"
"Just grab one of the dresses." She pauses, a look of uncertainty crossing her face.
"Are you sure?" I look at her suspiciously.
"Yes. Why? Are you planning on questions all of my answers?" She looks through my closet, fingering my dresses, but doesn't pull one down. I curse myself for my angry response but I am tired and I did just wake up. With a sigh, I haul myself up beside her. I grab a soft olive green dress, the large-cut empire waist promising comfort. She takes hold of a sleeve before I can move away.
"Ashiana-"
"What? I've been wearing dresses for years. Look at my closet. What kind of clothing do you see?"
"I know. It's just-" I'm growing frustrated now. She's remarked upon my dresses favorably for the last week.
"What?" She has the decency to look terribly uncomfortable.
"We're not living with just Wylan and Jesper now. You've never lived with the Dregs. I mean, I know you knew Kaz and were sometimes called upon to help but..." I raise an eyebrow, daring her to continue.
"Kaz would never allow women to be mistreated by his people but he can't be everywhere at once. There are men here, living in close quarters with us, that will take one look at you in that dress and-"
"And you think I can't handle myself?" I don't know why I'm suddenly so upset. She's probably right. I doubt I could hold my own against a man who decided to take advantage of me. I'm not a fighter. I can't just disappear like her. Still, something in me refuses to cow to this. Perhaps it's because I'm already edgy about the topic of men with her. Perhaps it's because I don't like to let fear rule me. Or perhaps it's because I just want to wear a dress. She shrugs, looking sheepish.
"I'm sorry, Ashiana. I care about you. I just-" I feel my anger whoosh out of me at her concern.
"I know." I pull the dress from her. "But I'll be damned if I stop wearing most of my wardrobe because some men moved in." She smiles then; a soft half smile that spreads slowly. The lines of concern don't leave her eyes but she manages to look amused anyway.
"I feel sorry for any man that tries to make a move on you without your permission."
"You should." I try to look as fierce as possible. She begins to laugh, which is certainly not the reaction I anticipated. I may need to be worried after all.
"I'll see you in my room in twenty." With that, she releases my dress and makes her way to my door. "Try not to be ravished on your way there," she says with a wink and with that, she's out the door.
I try not to glare at it after she leaves. I'm not really angry at her. I'm angry at myself. Angry for pursuing a man who was very clearly not interested in me. Angry for hoping he'd eventually notice and respond to my significant stares. Angry for letting my desires get in the way of a friendship. And especially angry at society for never holding men accountable for their actions so that, in a nice house like this, I have to consider whether or not what I'm wearing will provoke an undesired response. It's not my job to adjust my wardrobe to make myself less appealing, thus ensuring men's self-control. Why should I have to change so they can have an easier time restraining themselves? When do boys have to stop acting like idiots and grow into men? Why is it always women who have to be the responsible ones?
I turn back to my closet, swiftly returning my green dress to it's hanger. I pull down a red dress I bought for a party months ago but never wore. It's remained with me even though I doubted I'd ever use it. I slip it on and turn to the mirror. The off-the-shoulder sleeves meld into a sweetheart neckline that seems to be miraculously held aloft by my breasts alone. It's tight in all the right places, not going farther than halfway down my thighs, with a small slit on the right side. It's completely inappropriate, unnecessary, and fabulous. If I'm going to wear dresses for the foreseeable future, it's time to start conditioning my fellow houseguests.
A knock on my door announces my coffee. Sentria enters, looking around for a place to put the tray. When she finds an empty spot on my table, she looks up to greet me. Her eyes grow wide when they meet mine.
"Morning, miss. How are you feeling this morning?"
"Ready for anything."
"I see that. Your dress is-" she looks panicked for a moment, as though just now realizing she's unsure of how to appropriately complete her sentence. I save her the trouble.
"Incongruous." If anything, her look of panic increases but she does what any well-trained servant does well. She agrees.
"Yes, miss."
"Damn straight." The smile I shoot her sends her out of the room without another word. I walk to the mirror and begun brushing my hair. When I'm satisfied it's thoroughly detangled, I begin pushing it away from my face and up into a bun. I grab a couple pins from the dresser where I laid them last night before the glorious bath I soaked in for an hour.
After almost ten minutes, I look at my reflection with approval. If a man is going to lose control of himself around me, it's going to be today. Everything after this will look dull and homely in comparison. I step back, giving my reflection one last once-over, and walk to the door. The trip down the hallway to Inej's room is short and I turn the knob without knocking.
Inej has the unfortunate timing of being in the midst of drinking some coffee when I walk in. She starts coughing as soon as she sees me. Jesper gives me a big smile, accompanied by an expected but humor-filled full-body appraisal.
"Was there a party I'm unaware of occurring today?" Wylan rolls his eyes at Jesper's reaction, knowing it is largely intended to amuse and not display interest. I give Wylan a wink, which he responds to with a chuckle. I'm glad they're enjoying my outfit as much as I am. Kaz merely raises an eyebrow at my entrance before turning his attention back to a stack of papers at his side.
"Now that you're all here, I'd like to discuss what happened yesterday. At this point, any information is good information. If you have something to add, do so. Otherwise, be quiet." Inej has calmed her coughing by now and is perched on the side of Kaz's desk. Well, her desk that Kaz has commandeered.
"Jesper and Wylan, I know Inej gave you a quick rundown of last night but I'm sure, in her haste, she missed a few details." I know, just by being present last night, that Inej would've skipped any details about the child, regardless of the time provided. I wish Kaz wouldn't bring it up again but, unfortunately, it provides necessary insight into the nature of whatever it is we're dealing with. Jesper clears his throat.
"She told us you were both out in the garden during the party and, upon hearing screams, decided to investigate instead of go inside like rational individuals." I hope Jesper narrates all of what they've heard. It will bring a lightness that this situation desperately needs.
"Apparently, you found a body that had been...I think you said mauled?" Inej nods.
"The body was torn to shreds. The throat had been ripped out."
"This sounds like some kind of animal attack. Although, I'm not sure what kind of animal large enough to do that much damage could make it's way into Ketterdam unnoticed." Wylan's comment makes sense but Kaz is shaking his head before he finishes.
"The bites and claw marks were small. There weren't any puncture wounds like you'd see with any normal carnivorous animal."
"I thought you said it had been mauled. Animals maul things. What else could it be? People don't put in that kind of time or effort. Even stranglers or slicers. They just murder you and leave." Jesper's casual comments about killing reveal just how much familiar he is with the subject.
"The gouges were short and relatively shallow, nothing like something with real claws would leave. And they were all over the place, not just in a couple places, which is all it would take for an animal to rip you open."
"But you can't say for certain that it wasn't an animal. I mean, you didn't see who did it." Wylan has the sense to look deeply concerned but he doesn't look sick, which is more than I can say about my first experience with the body.
"I'd agree with you, Wylan, but I saw the footprints leading away from the body." He turns to me.
"That could've been anyone. You two weren't the only ones out there that night. Ketterdam's streets are rarely empty." I can see Kaz is ready to argue with him but Jesper cuts him off.
"Alright, let's table the animals vs. person discussion since any evidence is gone by now. After this, Inej and yourself returned to our house and somehow roped Ashiana into this with you." I try not to blush.
"I wouldn't say that," I don't have to look up to know Kaz is delivering one of his weighty stares. Inej spares me from having to admit that I asked to go on that miserable mission.
"Ashiana is a good tracker. She helped us find the trail that the attacker left."
"So let me get this straight: you heard screams, found a horribly mauled body, and then you decided to track whatever did it instead of returning indoors where people were not actively being mauled." Inej huffs out a laugh.
"Yes, Jes. That's what we did."
"Fools, all of you. Inej is hopeless when Kaz is around-"
"Hey!"
"-but Ashiana, I thought you had more sense than that."
"Well, I-"
"That isn't the point, Jesper." Kaz's low voice cuts off all arguments. Jesper doesn't look even mildly put out.
"And the point is?"
"What we found. Ashiana was in the lead because she-"
"-had foolish joined the two of you-"
"-was very successfully tracking whoever-"
"-whatever-" Wylan inserts.
"-killed that person." I glance up at Kaz, surprised by his accolade, though I'm sure it was mostly just to shut Jesper up. The look on his face is one of limited patience, which seems to be swiftly diminishing. I decide to take the lead, hoping to stretch his tolerance a little further.
"I was hit by a completely unnatural, unexpected, and intensely powerful wind. It flattened all of us without warning. Then, after a minute, it just ended. It had to be a Squaller. We got up to leave and-"
"And then we heard crying," Inej breaks in softly. We all turn to look at her, surprised by her voice. She really does fade into the background effectively. Even though she was still sitting in the same place beside Kaz, it was like she disappeared from view. I see Jesper glance at Wylan and I can tell they've discussed whatever it is that Inej told them about this.
"When I heard it, I went to the entrance of an alleyway. There was a little girl. She couldn't have been older than seven. There was this...woman beside her. She was still moving and groaning occasionally but was completely covered in black. I couldn't see her face. Not at that point. She said-" Inej takes a breath and presses the palms of her hands against her eyes, as though she can block out the images. She takes another breath, uncovering her eyes and placing her hands on the desk so she can lean forward. Kaz turns his gaze toward her, tilting his head up slightly as he does so. I try not to be distracted by him, truly I do, but there's something about an intent Kaz Brekker that draws the eye.
That's when I see it. I thought she was simply leaning forward when she placed her hands on the desk, trying to push out the awful story about that little girl. Now, I see the tips of her fingers curled into Kaz's sleeve. I miss most of what she says, noticing only when she pauses and looks at Kaz. As if on cue, he picks the story back up.
"She turned on her child. She moved so fast, we barely got out of there. If she'd gone for us first, I don't think we would have. But she didn't. She chose to go for the closest and easiest prey." Kaz's detached description doesn't do justice to the wretchedness we witnessed.
"She tried chasing us afterwards. There was some wind winding its way through the streets behind us but we were far enough away that we weren't overly effected." Both Wylan and Jesper sit quietly for a moment.
"The Stadwatch arrived around three this morning. They told us they were instituting a curfew and that we had to either stay inside or come with them, right then, so we could leave the city. All our guests had left by then and we were on our way up to bed. I doubt many people tried to leave." I glance at Inej. When she doesn't say anything, I contradict him.
"I don't think that's true. I think people did try to evacuate. The city was empty around six thirty. If the Stadwatch started going around at three, it's very likely they could've gathered a large group of people long before daybreak. When we arrived at the docks, they were nearly empty."
"Yes, Inej mentioned that. Do you really think the Council of Tides is involved?" Wylan asks, looking appropriately distressed.
"I can't think of anything else that could wreck a vessel as swiftly and surely as that, and certainly not anything that could leave the waters calm afterwards." Jesper still doesn't seem convinced.
"Perhaps it was another Tidemaker. There are more other than the ones on the Council, you know." While I know it sounds like a valid argument, there's no way one or even a couple insane Tidemakers could come together and wrest control away from the Council like that.
"Then why didn't they stop it?" Inej challenges and he sits silently, unable to form a good response.
"Whether it's them or another group of Tidemakers, we should be very concerned. They can drown you from the inside," Inej gives him a questioning look and I know they'll be discussing that comment later.
"So in summary, we've got an insane Squaller, some killer Tidemakers, and something else that enjoys mauling others running around the city. That right?" When Jesper puts it that way, it doesn't seem so overwhelming.
"The Squaller has been taken care of." I look quickly at Inej questioningly. She's glaring at Kaz with remarkable vexation.
"Oh really, when did that happen?" Inej shakes her head.
"Last night. She shouldn't be a problem anymore." I think all of us can tell neither Inej nor Kaz are going to be saying anything else about it.
"So it's just the Tidemakers and the mauler?"
"Perhaps. I believe that whatever happened to the Squaller was committed by the person who mauled the first victim. And I think they somehow managed to transfer their... keenness for killing to the Squaller."
"That's impossible, Kaz. No one can transfer their insanity to another person. If that were the case, we'd all be excellent barrel bosses thanks to our irrational proclivity for hanging around you."
"I don't think any amount of training or transfer could make you into a good gang leader." I glance at Kaz, eyes wide, until I realize he is joking. Jesper makes sputtering noises.
"I'll have you know I'm very effectively helping Wylan run-"
A soft knock at the door interrupts whatever argument he intended to make.
"Come in," Wylan calls out. Inej glances at him.
"Inviting people into my room now?" Wylan blushes. Marian opens the door and slowly enters the room.
"Mr. Van Eck, there is someone at the front door." We all share a look.
"Don't open it." She nods.
"I know your orders, sir. We will not open the doors without your permission. But- well, she seems to know you, sir. And she's very persistent."
"She? Did she give a name?"
"Yes, sir. She says her name is Nina." Inej leaps up and is out the door before any of us move. Kaz is quickly behind her. Wylan and Jesper exchange a look before following. It would appear they all know this woman and, whoever she is, she incites immediate action. By the time I reach the top of the stairs, Jesper and Wylan are disappearing through the hallway that leads around the ballroom to the front door. I hustle after them, interested in seeing exactly who could cause this kind of commotion. Even from the hallway, I can hear Inej demanding that they open the door. Kaz is arguing with her. Jesper and Wylan are only just arriving.
"We can't leave her out there."
"You don't know what kind of shape she's in, Inej."
"She's clearly rational. The Squaller we saw was out of her mind. The Council is acting completely abnormal. We wouldn't be holding a conversation with her if she was like that." Wylan steps forward.
"Nina," he calls loudly through the door.
"Yes," comes the muffled but obviously annoyed reply. "Will you please tell everyone to let us in?" Kaz looks at Inej again.
"Us. We don't know anything about who she has with her." I see Wylan whisper something to Jesper, who steps forward and places his hand on the door. A loud click resounds through the room and he carefully cracks open the door. He peeks out. When nothing attacks him, Inej pushes him out of the way, throws open the door, and disappears onto the stairs in front of the house. I cannot make out the words but the tone is easily identifiable as excited.
Inej re-enters almost immediately, pulling a generously-curved brunette behind her. She wraps her in a hug. When she lets go, Wylan and Jesper step forward. Jesper gets to her first, opening his arms wide. She steps into them with a smile.
"It's good to see you again, Nina," Wylan says and he too steps forward to hug her. Only Kaz hangs back but that's expected. Kaz Brekker would never do anything as humanizing as hugging, even someone who appears to be a well-known and beloved friend. She looks at him.
"Sounds like you're as argumentative as ever, Brekker. Glad to know some things never change." Her teasing grin grows into laughter as she joins Inej's reaction to her statement.
"And you're still just as flippant." His disapproving stare is unimpressed at best.
"I just know how to have fun, even in this mess." It's then that she turns and physically drags a man in behind her. The amused atmosphere disappears as quickly as it came.
"Who's this?" Inej asks carefully. I can tell she wants to welcome Nina's guest but after the last two days, none of us are ready to give any amount of trust to an outsider.
"This is Jaap Mesman. He helped start this situation."