Prepare yourselves, lovelies.
NINA
Jesper steps behind me and closes the door. Another click, similar to the one I heard outside before they opened the door, sounds as he does so. Wylan is looking at me with something close to astonishment. Kaz is trading significant looks with Inej that seem to infer blame. Jesper moves to stand beside Jaap. I'm glad I cannot see Jaap's face. I've seen his terror too many times on this trip. A girl I've never seen before approaches me and holds out her hand. She's wearing a short, bright red dress that works well for her figure. The neckline is impressive given the position of the sleeves.
"I'm Ashiana." I can tell she's doing what she can to break the tension. I smile.
"Nina Zenik." I make my assessment apparent. "That's an... appealing dress." She surprises me by striking a pose, one leg forward, hands on her hips.
"I'm glad someone appreciates it." She gives me a grin and a nod. Inej moves to my side and I can tell she's pointedly ignoring whatever look Kaz is sending her now.
"I'm glad to see you here safely." She loops her arm through mine and I lean into her.
"I could say the same of you. Although, I wish it was under different circumstances. I wish you all-" I nod at Inej and Wylan. I can't see Jesper, as he's behind me, and I choose not to nod at Kaz. He doesn't deserve my sympathy. "-weren't here at all." Jesper laughs and draws close to Wylan.
"I think we can all agree with that. However, I'm sure you have much better reasoning than we do as you seem...well-informed." I shrug.
"Let's go upstairs. I'll explain everything there. After-" I look around for a way to the kitchen "-I have something to eat." Inej pulls me forward to the hallway in front of us.
"Of course. I'm sure you and Mr. Mesman-"
"Call him Jaap," I answer for him. She looks over her shoulder.
"-are hungry." I hear Jaap's heavy tread behind me. That sound mixed with the sharp click of Kaz's cane against the marble irritates me. I focus on Inej's warm presence beside me.
"It's so good to see you, Nina." Her voice is lower now and I squeeze her arm close to me.
"You too. I've missed you." She nods. Wylan moves close to us.
"Anything in particular you'd like? I can't exactly have anything you want prepared but I'm sure we could make something enjoyable."
"Waffles. Always." Wylan smiles and moves away. I see him approach a woman who's standing at a small side door. Inej pulls me farther along before I can see more.
"We'll go to my room. It seems to be a popular meeting place." I laugh.
"Goodness, I wasn't aware you usually entertained anyone in your room." My raised eyebrows provoke a laugh from her. She smiles but, for just a moment, sadness flashes across her face. I suddenly realize my mistake.
"Inej, I'm sorry. I didn't think-" she shakes her head.
"It's fine. It's just that the last few days have been... that subject has been regrettably reoccurring." I pat her hand in sympathy.
"Hopefully, my marvelous appearance will improve the mood." I toss my head, flipping my hair over my shoulder, as though preening, and delivering it all with a wink.
"I'm sure it will. We could all use a little cheering up now that- well, it sounds like we'll know more soon." I give her a long look.
"It isn't good." She sighs.
"I wasn't particularly hopeful. It will be better to be informed, regardless."
"If you say so. I think I'd rather barricade myself in here and eat until we run out of anything tasty." Another head shake.
"No. I want to know. I've dealt in information for too long to relish being ignorant." We reach the stairs and start up. A cacophony of sounds echo behind me, muted by the giant doors at the foot of the stairs.
"What's in there?" I ask, motioning toward the doors.
"The Dregs." I almost trip.
"What? All of them?"
"All of the ones we could find, yes."
"What are- why?"
"We couldn't very well leave them at the Slat unprotected."
"You're far too kind."
"I'm sure Kaz would agree with you."
"That may be the only thing we ever agree on." I try not to let my voice deepen into a growl but I'm hard-pressed to find a reason to disguise my loathing. Inej looks pained. Well, there's my reason. I huff out a breath and try gain some sense of serenity.
"Why are you so angry with him, Nina? When you left I- well, I know with everything- but- you didn't seem quite so angry then."
"Time sometimes brings painful perspective." She's quiet as we reach her room. I follow behind her, taking in the sitting room we enter. The sofa and chairs are all upholstered in a soft yellow fabric, outlined with some kind of dark wood. The rug beneath them contains more royal blue than yellow. A dark blue line runs around the edge, encasing the intricate borders that bear swooping yellow designs on a lighter blue background. Beyond that, the darker blue reappears, bearing what appear to be vines that somehow connect all the dense clusters of beige flowers that lay strewn throughout it. All this converges on the center, forming a medallion that twists upon itself like the script of an ancient and forgotten language. A small desk, it's dark wood matching the other furniture, is pressed against the far wall. I move past it all, enter her bedroom, and collapse on the bed.
"Oh, I had forgotten what a real bed feels like. This is wonderful. I'll be staying right here. They can bring me all my meals in bed." She laughs, laying down beside me.
"I'm sure we can find a room for you."
"Nah, I'll just stay with you. We need to catch up anyway."
"I don't think you'd like what I have to say." I raise an eyebrow.
"I doubt anything you say could top the mess you're about to hear out of Jaap's mouth."
"That's not what I mean." I give her a hard look. She turns from me, letting her gaze rove over the ceiling.
"Is it about Kaz?" She sighs. She doesn't have to say a word. I've heard that same sigh come out of her mouth when he comes up too many times.
"You're too good for him, Inej. And I'm not just saying that because I strongly dislike him. I care about you. You need to find someone kind, someone good, someone who isn't going to destroy everything in his path in the pursuit of greed or power."
"That isn't all he is, Nina. And- who's to say I deserve someone good? I've committed crimes right along with him. People have died at my hand. How am I any better?" I flop onto my back beside her, joining her in perusing the ceiling.
"You're better than all of us put together. You have a sense of morality all of us lack. Well, all except maybe Ma- even Wylan has his own immoral tendencies. But you, you were always the best of us." I turn my head to her and see that her eyes are closed.
"Nina-" The door opens beyond the bedroom. Both of us sit up, instantly on alert. A maid enters carrying something that smells delicious and I almost moan.
"Are those waffles? You know, I don't even care. Bring it in here. I'm ready for whatever you've got for me." The maid sees us and carefully crosses the room.
"Where would you like this, Ms. Ghafa?" Inej motions to me.
"This is Nina Zenik. It's for her. You can bring it in here." As she enters, Inej motions to the maid.
"This is Sentria. She mostly helps in the kitchen as her sister is the cook. They're the ones that come up with all the delicious recipes." Sentria has the grace to look embarrassed. I grin at her.
"Well you're officially one of my favorite people. It's very nice to meet you." I almost hold out my hand before I remember she's holding a tray laden with food. For me. I pat the bed.
"You can put it here. Thank you, Sentria." She slowly lowers in onto the bed and steps back.
"It's a pleasure, Ms. Zenik. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"You can call me Nina." Inej chuckles.
"Good luck. Wylan's been trying to get everyone to stop calling him Mr. Van Eck for over a year." I snicker. Sentria curtsies without replying, hurrying out of the room.
"I think I scared her off."
"I think that's just what they do when they disagree with your request. Best to run instead of refuse to acquiesce." I lift the lid. Stacked three high are golden waffles, syrup and butter oozing down the side.
"Wylan is the best. So is the cook. Did you tell me her name? She's great. Did I mention Wylan's also one of my favorite people?" Inej rolls her eyes, our laughter mingling. I relax. This is the most comfortable I've been in a year; and the most well-fed.
"Anyway, Inej-" I start again, hoping for a chance to drive home my completely reasonable sentiments. Before I can get any farther, the door opens again.
"Don't people knock anymore? Isn't that a thing?" I ask, frustration coloring my tone. Jesper laughs as he walks toward us.
"Nope. Not when you own the house."
"I'm pretty sure you knocked a couple days ago before you entered my room."
"Yes, well, that was before it became the hangout spot." Inej shakes her head. Jesper doesn't even ask before dropping onto the mattress behind us. I barely manage to hold my tray upright.
"If you spill my waffles, I will stop your heart." Jesper either doesn't have the sense or makes a concerted effort not to look concerned.
"Nah, I'm far too lovable."
"Just because Wylan thinks you're adorable does not mean that opinion extends to the rest of us." I attempt my best serious face but the mixture of waffles and the close presence of friends makes it impossible. I can't help the upward turn at the corners of my mouth. Inej leans back against Jesper and his arm curls around her waist, drawing her against his chest. I can tell she's been tense, even during our talk, because the release of tension from her shoulders is noticeable. She makes a soft humming noise that denotes appreciation.
"I'll pay you to rub my shoulders," she says softly, eyes closed.
"I get to decide the method of payment," Jesper jokes as he begins to uncurl himself. Another figure enters and I look up, spotting Kaz's gaze fixed on us. Although, there's no doubt in my mind his sole focus is Inej. Jesper straightens, places his hands on her shoulders, and begins his ministrations. It takes less than a minute for him to rub a groan out of her. I watch Kaz surreptitiously as I dig into my waffle. At the sound of her groan of gratitude, he turns and leaves.
If it's that easy to drive him away, I should be able to liberate her from his claws fairly easily. The difficulty will lie in convincing her.
In less than five minutes, Wylan walks in with Jaap in tow. The lovely Ashiana is right on their heels. Now, the only one missing is Kaz. I'm not particular concerned with his absence so I finish up the last few bites of waffles and lean over to put the tray on the floor beside me. Just before I start, Kaz re-enters, as though he can feel the start of the conversation. I wonder then if he's been hovering nearby, waiting until everyone else arrives. I elbow Inej and her eyes open. She rolls her shoulders.
"Thanks, Jes."
"Anytime. I'll make sure to discuss my fees later." She laughs, stretches and settles herself against Jesper, as he doesn't seem inclined to move. I take a look at Kaz out of the corner of my eye. His face is blank but I know from experience that his carefully-crafted facade can conceal a multitude of emotions. I have a sneaking suspicion it hides anger now. Inej seems to notice him for the first time, a testament to Jesper's skills as a masseuse. I may be willing to work out a fee schedule too. I can feel her starting to tense up again and withdraw.
This. This is why she doesn't need to be with him. No healthy relationship causes concern by the mere appearance of the partner.
Jesper pulls her back to him.
"Oh no you don't. Wylan hates getting all cuddly in public and I'm always left bereft. I'm not letting you get away now." Wylan turns red as Jesper wraps both arms around her. Even as I laugh, I watch her eyes meet Kaz's. For a moment, something like - is that pain? - flashes across his face. Then, the mask slides over it again. Inej sighs and tries to play it off as feigned defeat. I know it's deeper than that though. She would never want to hurt Kaz. Still, she knows fighting Jesper would only draw attention to the issue. I jump into the conversation as quickly as I can.
"Now that you're all here and I'm appropriately fed," I wink at Wylan and he nods, his face still pink. "We can get started." Everyone moves into the bedroom until it's crowded. Ashiana and Wylan take a seat on the bench in front of the mirrored dresser. Jaap stands awkwardly off to the side. Kaz leans against the doorway, as though separately and objectively observing something that's only mildly interesting.
"As I said when I made my grand entrance," Inej chuckles, "this is Jaap Mesman and he's partly responsible for the situation at hand." Jaap has the decency to look ashamed. "I'm sure you're wondering how one man could screw up so completely and put an entire race of people at risk." Inej turns toward me then.
"An entire race of people?"
"We'll get to that. The group I was with at the time heard about some kind of experiments being performed on Grisha. We decided to check it out. I discovered this coward trying to sneak away when we entered. After a short period of questioning and absolutely no torture, he babbled out the entire thing. I came as soon as I heard what was happening."
"That's admirable," his tone says otherwise.
"It's not like I came for you, Brekker. I knew these two would need help and" I glance at Inej "-I excepted that if you weren't already here, you'd come once you heard there was trouble. I couldn't let you get tied up in this mess without some help."
"It's not like she would've been alone," Kaz points out, sounding almost offended.
"Somehow, your presence doesn't increase my confidence in her safety. In fact, it's your involvement that seems to most frequently put her in danger." We're glaring at each other now. I feel the old anger rise in me. I tried not to blame him for Matthias's death at first but, as time went on, his role in it became the only one I could see as a cause. If he hadn't insisted on this ridiculous plan, fueled only by his greed, Matthias would probably still be alive. Yes, he helped get him out of prison but he only did so to serve himself. In the end, it was Kaz's plan that got him killed. Inej clears her throat.
"I appreciate the thought, Nina. I really do. However, I'm more interested in what Jaap has to say at this point." She turns to him. "Why don't you tell us your side of it?" She asks, her voice low and her tone kind. I almost growl. He does not deserve any kindness. I have about as much sympathy for him as I do for Kaz. Maybe, probably, less.
"Well-" he coughs a little, attempting to clear his throat. "I'm a scientist. Not a user of the small science but a scientist like Bo Yul-Bayur. In fact, his discovery is- was- the focus of our work. We, several colleagues of mine and I, were very concerned about jurda parem and it's addictive properties. We'd come across several Grisha who had ingested it and while it effected each slightly differently, the end result was always the same - all of them ended up dead once their supply ended." He takes a deep breath before continuing.
"Even though the original supply of parem was running low, we knew others would try to re-create it. It was only a matter of time before someone created something similar, or possibly even worse."
"I don't know how much worse it could be." Jaap winces as Jesper's words.
"Then, perhaps, you have not considered the possibility of a strain that would make the user impervious to other Grisha's powers." The weight of the silence is palpable. When I first heard his story, there were- still are- things that I agree with; things I believed to be valid points. It was the method I disapproved of.
"We were aware of the- well, some of the other attempts to re-create parem. There were whispers of just such a modification. We felt that it was imperative for some kind of cure to be created along with it."
"A cure?" Inej looks at me then, confusion evident. "Would that- isn't that a good thing?" Her question may have been directed at Jaap but I can tell she means it for me.
"We certainly thought so. As it turned out, a cure was not what we settled on. We decided preventative measures should be taken. With it's addictive qualities, users shouldn't have to decide to stop taking it and seek treatment. The impetus wouldn't be there. One of the main symptoms of parem use is that the user enjoys the power it gives them. Who wouldn't enjoy nearly unlimited power? Thus, a cure wouldn't be nearly as effective. So we began creating a vaccine." Inej does direct her question to me then.
"I thought you didn't like him? This sounds like a good idea."
"Just wait," I murmur.
"We began working on a vaccine that would just prevent the addiction, thus enabling the users to stop taking it. Our goal was to prevent the insurmountable amount of deaths leaving it running rampant would've caused. However, as we got farther in, we didn't think that would be enough. People could then still use it and choose to continue. So we decided to make it an inoculation against it's effect altogether. Anyone who was vaccinated would not be empowered by drug at all, regardless of how much they took."
"Did you succeed? How were you doing this?" Wylan asks. I can tell he's interested in the chemical process and truly, it is interesting.
"We obtained some parem. As with all vaccines, you need to begin with the issue and work backwards. We used very small amounts to create what we believed would prevent it from ever taking effect. We believed we'd succeeded. The vaccine we created attached itself to cells and multiplied throughout the body until all the cells were inoculated. As soon as new ones were created, the vaccine would attach itself to those. By making it part of the cellular structure, able to be continuously reproduced, only one vaccine need ever be applied. Additionally, any children carried by a vaccinated Grisha would automatically be vaccinated as well."
"That's brilliant." Wylan looks ready to burst with excitement.
"It seemed like it at the time. Once we determined it was attaching to the cells correctly, we decided it was time to test it." I turn my glare onto him then. Inej glances at me.
"How exactly did you go about testing it? Did you find previously infected Grisha?" Jaap sighs and looks at the ground.
"No. By the time we finished, we could not find anymore infected Grisha. The world's supply of parem had simply become too low. If there was any in production, those effected weren't making their way to us."
"So how did you do it?" Wylan asks, concerned now. As he should be.
"We gave it to them ourselves."
"You what? You purposefully gave people a drug you knew could kill them? Did they know you were going to do this?"
"No, they did not." I growl.
"We vaccinated them first. We truly believed we'd created an effective inoculation."
"Did you tell them about the vaccine? Did any of them volunteer to be vaccinated?" Inej inquires.
"Nope," I say, my nostrils flaring as I attempt to take some calming breaths.
"So you involuntarily vaccinated some Grisha-"
"Not some, Inej. Seventy Grisha. They kidnapped seventy men, women and children and shot them up with their 'miracle drug.' And then they dosed them with parem." Inej's eyes widen. Everyone looks at Jaap in horror.
"Did it- it didn't work, did it?" Inej says slowly. Jaap shakes his head, staring at his shoes.
"Tell them what it did, Jaap. Tell them what you did to all those Grisha. Tell them what you created." The anger rises so sharp and fierce in me that I have to grab Inej's hand, crushing it in mine, my nails digging deep into her skin. She doesn't react, still staring at Jaap, waiting for an answer.
"We vaccinated and immediately dosed them. We wanted to see how quickly it would take effect. It- the vaccine didn't work as expected."
"Clearly or this story would be taking a very different turn." Kaz comments quietly.
"What happened?" Ashiana finally joins the conversation, her voice tainted with trepidation.
"They became... I'd say it's akin to begin rabid. Not only is effecting those who took it, when they bite another Grisha, the cells in their saliva transfer to the other Grisha and they become infected as well. Thankfully, the drug hasn't increased their powers."
"Oh, yes, thankfully it hasn't done that. As if there's anything in this situation to be thankful for," I spit.
"But they still retain their power. They- when we made the vaccine, we tried to make it so that those who had taken parem before would still be able to benefit from the vaccine. We wanted it to take away the effects of the already ingested parem; to make them resistant to it. Instead, it made them resistant to other Grisha's powers." The stunned silence that fills the room lasts for several minutes. Finally, Kaz breaks it.
"So, you're saying you created seventy Grisha that are resistant to other's powers and pass on this ability to other Grisha through bites?" Jaap nods. "Where are they now?"
"We weren't expecting this reaction. We had Fabrikator-created glass enclosing the facility and other measures in place to contain the patients. But we didn't expect the behavior they exhibited. We weren't prepared-"
"And?" Jesper questions.
"And it was a massacre. Almost all of them escaped."
"What about regular people? Does it effect them?" Kaz presses.
"It doesn't seem to have any effect at all. However, the Grisha seem to- they have- it is-" another deep breath "-if any of the current actions are to be considered, they have become rather singular in focus."
"How so?" Kaz asks. Jaap stays silent. "Spit it out, man."
"The Grisha that are infected are hunting humans- only humans. When they catch one... it doesn't end well for them. Maybe you've noticed?" Inej shudders beside me.
"Where were the experiments taking place?"
"A small inlet off of Shu Han. They had the largest supply left so it was easier to obtain some. And it was close to the sea, fairly remote. We could dismantle the operation and depart quickly if necessary."
"And somehow they made their way to Ketterdam from there."
"Yes."
"How did you get here, Nina? Where were you in all of this?" Inej asks quietly. "We saw the harbor. No one is leaving. I'm surprised you were able to get in at all."
"I arrived during the fortunate hours right after the dosing. We'd heard about a group collecting Grisha for some reason. I was traveling with a team of about twenty. We set off in different directions to search for them. I had a partner-" I wince.
"She was bitten when we got there. I found Mr. Mesman here escaping via boat. He and I took a nice ride over here on that boat. I got in before they arrived. They weren't far behind us though. By the time we made port, it was only a couple hours before they arrived. We- well, I was watching the harbor. This lovely gentleman was cowering in a corner."
"A group of Tidemakers brought them in. Some Inferni joined them and they all went for the Council's tower first. By that time, I had heard the entirety of Jaap's story. I realized I had to come help all of you. I thought maybe we could find something, some way, to stave this off before it really hit the city. But I couldn't even get past the port before the Stadwatch arrived, insisting that we stay inside or leave. It took us a while to make our way here."
Silence. What was there to say? I'd sat just like them when I heard the conclusion of his awful narrative. Ashiana finally fractures it.
"What do we do now?" She whispers.
"We leave." Kaz's voice is strong, decisive, as though he was just waiting for someone to ask that very question.
"We can't just leave, Kaz." Inej begins.
"I don't see why not."
"Where would we go? If Ketterdam is any indication, it's already spreading through Shu Han. Ravka will be next. There won't be anywhere safe. And even if there was somewhere to go, how would we do it? You saw the state of the harbor."
"You think I can't find a way out of Ketterdam?" His question sounds more like a challenge.
"Not with all the Dregs. No, I don't. Are you willing to leave all of them behind? Or will you choose a few you think are useful and leave the rest?" Her words are short, clipped, belaying the danger beneath; of the repercussions for those that dare to disagree. I can tell he wants to argue with her but, regardless of her tone, she makes a valid point. Getting a small group of people out of a building or off an island is manageable. More than ten and the odds shift significantly.
"I think we should all take a break. A lot has been discussed. We need some time to process it before we make any decisions." Wylan says, attempting to mediate. Kaz and Inej stare at each other for another few seconds before they look away. I occasionally wonder just how much they understand from looks alone. Sometimes, it seems like they have entire conversations without words. With a sigh, Jesper begins to rise.
"Alright, my lovely ladies. I must depart. But fear not, I will return. He gives both of us a kiss on the cheek. I dart a look at Kaz, who is watching, as always, Inej. He turns sharply, his footsteps retreating swiftly. Wylan stands and joins Jesper. They follow although I doubt it's to join Kaz. Wylan stops in the sitting room.
"Mr. Mesman, if you'd like to join me?" It's phrased as a request but it doesn't give any indication that it's meant as one. I'm grateful he's called him away. I'd hate to have to find a place to send him. Ashiana comes and sits on the edge of the bed once the door is closed.
"This is much worse than I ever imagined," she confesses. I can tell she is worried by the way she grabs her hand, holds it tightly for a moment, pulls away, and then does the same to the other one - a repetition that continues seemingly without thought.
"I know," Inej answers, grabbing one of her hands and holding it still in hers. "But we'll work through it. We'll find a way."
"This is much bigger than a job, Inej. This isn't just some mission. This is a worldwide issue. There are thousands, no, millions, billions of lives at stake. Who knows how many people are infected? How many are already dead?" I can hear each word exiting a little higher than the last, her breath coming in shorter increments. Inej squeezes her hand, trying to draw her attention away from her mounting anxiety.
"I know but- remember, we are together for such a time as this." She puts her other hand on her arm, shaking it a little. "Remember?" Ashiana looks at her then, her eyes slightly unfocused. She takes a couple deep breaths.
"This is quite a time."
"I know but... this isn't a surprise to God. He knew all this would happen." It's the first time I've ever heard her speak about God. Sure, I've heard her pray to her Saints but an over-arching power like a monotheistic god isn't something we've ever discussed. Clearly, though, she and Ashiana have. And they must share the same beliefs because she nods.
"Yes, you're right."
"There's a purpose here, Ashiana. We may not be able to see it now but we have to trust. We have to trust that we're not alone. There's a reason for all of this. And in the end, while it may not be the result we expect or want or understand, God is in control of all of it. He never fails. And-" she gives her one more shake "-He will not forsake us."
"But what if we die?" She whispers, abject fear apparent.
"Sometimes God rescues His people through death. But take heart, He has overcome this world. Be brave. Be strong. Be courageous. We are not alone." Part of me feels like an intruder. This isn't a side of Inej I've ever experienced. She turns to smile at me then, as though she can sense my unease.
"Come now, Nina. Help me out. I can't handle all the bolstering on my own." I try to smile back but the truth is, I feel about the same as Ashiana. I've just had more time to process it. Her gaze switches from encouraging to understanding when our eyes meet.
"I think it might be best for us to follow Wylan's suggestion. I don't think I'm the only one who needs some time. It may be best..." she pauses. "Do you know where Wylan's room is?" I shake my head.
"Ashiana, will you show her? They can help her find a room. I think a little alone time might help everyone." I recognize the dismissal, heave myself off the bed and meet Ashiana at the end of it.
"We'll talk soon," I tell her firmly. She nods. With that, although she hasn't offered it, I take Ashiana's hand and pull her towards the door. "Now, show me how to get there. I'm ready for a bed of my own."