Fated

Summary: Jessie finds herself in exile, forced into captivity with a mysterious stranger. With nowhere to go and seemingly no hope of escape, they share the stories behind their miserable fates. Hers is filled with questions. His is filled with answers.

Chapter 17: In Death

Deep down it hides
Making life a grind
I dreamed of this so long
This used to feel so strong

Now I wait
Wish these thoughts would go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away
No I don't hate
But these thoughts won't go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away
...Default - (Taking My) Life Away

Jessie had drifted off to sleep sometime around ten and didn't hear as Jack crept in around midnight. He laid back on his bed, which was by far more comfortable than his stint on the roof. He looked over at the sleeping woman and felt pity, though he knew better than to ever express that pity to her. He had a feeling that she wouldn't take too kindly to it. He pitied her because she was also confined to this hell that he had lived for over twenty-two years, yet her confines were stricter than his. She could move no more than a few feet; he had four miles.

Jack had often wondered what she did that would land her a place out in the Andes. He thought that this special treatment had been his alone. He well knew that he was not the first Rocket to suffer on this mountain, but he was the first to be banished here. He knew the reasons for his banishment, which made him curious about the reasons for hers.

Of course, to find that out, he would have to offer her his story in return. He closed his eyes and thought about which exploit came next in his story. The first thing that came to mind was a disastrous night in Saffron City.

"Miya!" Jack gasped, the name tumbling from his lips without proper thought. Suddenly all movement stopped and the brunette quit what she was doing to look up at him. Her face swam across his vision, blurry and pissed off.

"Why'd you stop?" he slurred drunkenly, willing his head to stop spinning and focus.

"Who's Miya?" the brunette asked, crossing her arms over her ample breasts. He blinked.

"Miya?"

"Yeah, that's what you said," the girl told him, still glaring.

"I did?" he asked stupidly.

"Yeah," the girl pushed herself off the bed, "You did."

"Hey, don't be like that!" Jack protested, "I meant…I meant…your name…uh…Mmm…M…"

"Sandy," the girl provided, "My name is Sandy."

"Well fuck I'm sorry," Jack apologized, "Now why don't you come back and-"

"Thanks but no," Sandy growled, flipping on a light and searching through the clothes that littered the floor. Jack winced at the brightness.

"No, don't…" he gave up talking and cradled his head in his hands, suddenly feeling ill. He didn't even realize when Sandy left the hotel room.

Jack shook his head. He would not be sharing that exploit with Jessilina. It was one of the few drunken nights that he could remember, but it would forever remain in his own memory. It shamed him to no end. For one thing, he had been drunk out of his mind. For another, he was having performance issues, which certainly didn't win him any points with the girl named Sandy. And of course, there was him calling out Miya's name.

But then, in those months that followed, he was often drunk and calling Miya's name, be it with someone else or on his own. It was a truly low point in his life.

He chuckled. Even now, after all this time, he still found it funny that he would gladly go back to that pathetic, miserable, drunken state.

"Jack?" Jessie's sleepy voice questioned. He cursed himself. He hadn't wanted to wake her.

"I'm here Jessilina," Jack replied. Jessie sat up.

"You're still alive," she said dumbly.

"Still kickin'," he confirmed with a laugh, "Go back to sleep."

"Where'd you go?" she asked. Jack sighed.

"I delved into my conscious to analyse my present situation and to organize and orchestrate for the inevitable termination of my existence on this outcropping of rock and mineral," Jack replied even though he simply could have said that he was crying on the roof. Jessie, in her befuddled, sleepy state, just blinked.

"What?"

"Go to sleep," he ordered. Jessie nodded and lay back down. Jack smirked and closed his eyes.

Jack was in a deep sleep when he felt something hard land on his chest.

"What was that?" he grumbled, looking at the small chuck of wood that landed on his chest.

"As much as I hate to wake you," Jessie said in a voice that clearly said otherwise, "It is nearly noon and I am starving."

"Oh…uh…sorry," Jack yawned, rubbing his eyes as he got out of bed.

"No biggie," Jessie shrugged, "So where did you go?" she asked.

Jack chuckled, "Didn't I tell you last night?"

"That doesn't count. I don't do smart ass mumbo-jumbo," she told him.

"What does it matter?" he asked her.

"I have to live vicariously through someone and since you're the only other person on this mountain…"

"I just went and did some thinking," he shrugged, still too macho to admit that he cried.

"About?" Jessie prodded. Jack shook his head. He really needed a way to distract her.

"About the next part of my story," he replied with a grin. Bingo. Jessie's eyes lit up and she stared up at him patiently…something she wasn't exactly known for.

Four months had passed since I traded responsibilities with my brother. A new city, a new hotel room, and new faces, yet they were all the same. My days at home were short, too short. It was all work. I didn't know how Joseph, or Isabelle for that matter, could stand the never-ending schedule and the many nights away from home. I barely had time to think. Everything came down to impressing the next businessman or making a deal with the next client. Nothing was easy, not like training the recruits had been, but I had to get away from Miya…for both our sakes.

Miya.

The time apart did nothing to banish my thoughts of her. I was so busy during the day that thinking of her was impossible, but at night, it was a different story. I was plagued by dreams of her. Some, we were together, making love. There were some where she would yell at me and leave me. There were some where she was walking away from me, holding a bundle of blankets in her arms. And then there were some…there were some where she was completely gone from my life. Those ones were the worst and I'd wake up trembling like a little boy shaking from the monsters under the bed.

I tried to remedy this. I did everything in my power to forget her. I drank. I went to strip clubs. I drank some more. I had a couple one-night-stands.

Nothing worked. I was still miserable and still hopelessly in love with her, perhaps even more so when I was drinking.

I tried to avoid all that all together now. It just didn't work. Nothing did. She would always creep into my mind. Miya. The woman I had let go. The woman who hated me. The woman who I loved.

It would never get easier.

It pained me that I realized this fact almost four months after I broke up with Miya.

I was walking through the halls of Team Rocket, carrying a file containing the latest business agreement with the newest client. Mother would want to review the deal, but thankfully, not today. Today, she was on a tour of the new Celadon Base. I dropped the file on Amy's desk. She smiled at me and thanked me. Every time I passed her desk, my eyes were drawn to the ever-changing photograph of her small son. What had once shown a newborn infant now showed a happy baby boy sticking plastic keys in his mouth. It made me smile and yet it reminded me of that image I had conjured of my own unborn child, one I would never be able to acknowledge.

I shook it off and walked down the halls towards my rooms, looking for a long shower. I felt disgusting. I was sweaty and I smelt like a plane. I hardly noticed the young trio as I walked by.

"I have a plan," a familiar voice announced. I recognized the turquoise-haired young woman and smiled.

"What else is new?" the tall, brown-haired young man asked.

"You know, I think I've heard that before," the dark-haired young man said. The girl scowled at them.

"Shut up, both of you," she said, glaring daggers at her partners, who laughed at her angry look.

"Definitely heard that before," Heath Ketchum commented.

"Once or twice," Ted 'Motorcycle' Oak confirmed. Lana Parker sighed and seemed to be cursing her luck for being saddled with the boys.

"You know, there may come a time when the pair of you will be quite grateful for your partner's plans," I injected, looking with satisfaction as my former chargers whirled around to face me.

"That's what I keep telling them, Mr. Sakaki," Lana said, shooting her partners a smug look.

"Though I can't imagine when that will be," Motorcycle said, but his voice was teasing. Heath laughed along with him. Heath was my own personal success. After months of training, I was the one who had taught him to battle, and now, here he was, standing with his team wearing an agent uniform.

"Sooner than later, I bet," I replied, "And my congratulations on reaching Agent Status."

"Thanks, Mr. S," Motorcycle said.

"Thanks, Jack," Heath said quietly, smiling at me.

"Anytime," I replied, "So how did the rest of your training go?" I asked them.

"Pretty smooth," Motorcycle said, "If you don't count Heath setting the gym on fire."

"That was because you tripped and knocked me into that fire loop," Heath defended, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I think Miya, Catherine, and Daphne were pretty proud of us," Lana told me with a grin. Miya.

"How is…? I mean, how are they?" I asked lamely, hoping that it didn't seem obvious that I was fishing for any information.

"Same as ever," Motorcycle shrugged, "I think Daphne's getting sick of babysitting."

"She was sick of it before she even started," I replied.

"Yeah, well, it's really getting Miya and Catherine annoyed," Heath said.

"And they have enough on their plate, especially Miya," Lana added. She had my full attention.

"Miya?" I asked, trying to limit the amount of concern there. Pretty sure I failed.

"Her mother passed away on Sunday," Heath supplied, "Pretty tore up about it."

I blinked. Miya's mother. She had never said anything to me about her mother. The only time anyone mentioned her mother was when Catherine briefly spoke of her in the gym.

"It's because of your mother, isn't it?"

That was what Catherine had said when Miya told her that she was keeping the baby.

"That's…unfortunate," I said to appease their expectant looks. Then I bade them goodbye and resumed my walk to my quarters. The hot shower did wonders and I collapsed on my bed. Almost immediately, thoughts of Miya filled my head. Surely she was upset about her mother. And what had Catherine meant? What had Miya's mother had to do with Miya keeping the baby?

My sleep was troubled and once again, I was plagued with the same dreams. Miya walking away, disappearing, but this time, I was left holding that little bundle in my arms. It scared me. A lot.

I woke up the next morning feeling just as drained as I had when I fell asleep. Coffee. Lot's of it. I downed two cups and was starting on a third as I tried to reread my notes from the previous day's meeting. Then there was a knock on the door. A very soft knock. My mind leapt back to the nights of sneaking around headquarters and the way Miya and I would meet for a secret rendezvous. Heart pounding in my chest, I got to my feet, reliving the night she had returned from her mission, the one where I pinned her against the door and…

I opened the door and my face fell. Miya was not standing by my door. Amy was.

"Amy," I greeted, making sure that my robe was closed. She smiled awkwardly.

"I apologize for the intrusion, Mr. Sakaki, but your sister-in-law was wondering if you would like to have lunch with her and her son," Amy explained. I blinked. I didn't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that.

"Um, sure. Tell Jade that I'll be over there soon," I relayed my message. She smiled and nodded. Then she was gone. I quickly changed and made myself look half-decent. I had just realized how hungry I was. Jade had perfect timing.

"You look like hell," Jade said when I appeared on her doorstep.

"Hello to you too, Sis. I wasn't aware that this was a black tie event," I said sarcastically as I stepped inside. She laughed.

"Sorry, Jack, but I'm just so accustomed of seeing you in a suit," she replied, leading me inside the small suite that she shared with my brother and my nephew, "And I'm glad I invited you over. You look thin."

"New diet," I quipped, "Plane food."

"Maybe I should try it," she mused, "Having a baby does nothing for a girl's figure, but I wouldn't trade him," she said, kissing the top of Silver's red hair. He sat in a high chair next to the table, like the little prince he was, but he was wearing only a pair of shorts and he was covered in some pale, gooey baby food.

"He looks like he's enjoying his meal," I commented, taking a seat at the table. Jade laughed.

"He's a little goofball," she said, reaching over to tickle him, "His new game is to see how many times Mommy can give him a bath during the day. After lunch, he's going to get his third bath today."

"He could use one," I agreed, scooping a bit of pasta into my mouth, "So where's Gio today?"

"He said he had an emergency in Pallet Town yesterday and would be back sometime today," she answered, digging into her own meal now that she was sure that Silver was occupied.

"Emergency?" I asked, frowning.

"Bailing out a couple grunts, I guess," she replied. Nothing major then. We ate and caught up. It had been too long since I had been able to enjoy a meal like this with Jade. She was possibly the best decision Giovanni had ever made, in my opinion. Friendly, caring, funny…she was a catch.

"Hello?" my brother's voice suddenly called as the front door opened.

"In here," Jade called, clearing away the dishes. Giovanni entered the room. His suit was rumpled and his tie was draped around his neck. He looked a little tired, but at the same time, he was smiling.

"Are you hungry?" Jade asked, smiling over at him. He shook his head.

"I caught a bite on the way home, Love. And what brings you here, little brother?" he asked me as he leaned casually against the doorframe. It struck me how much more relaxed he seemed at home. He seemed a bit more mellow-

"Mellow? Him?" Jessie asked incredulously. Jack chuckled.

"I know," he agreed.

It must have been not having mother breathing down his neck. Here, he could just be the brother I had grown up with, the one who taught me to play chess and how to shoot a gun.

"Your wife apparently thinks that I am too thin," I replied.

"You are," Jade shot at me, toting the shirtless infant towards the bathroom. Gio watched her go with an exasperated look.

"She runs herself ragged looking after him," he told me, motioning for me to follow him to the living room, "I've told her over and over that we can hire a nanny, but she's having none of it."

"Hands on mom," I shrugged, "I could've used one."

"Jack, Jack, are you saying Joseph and I weren't good enough?" he teased, pouring himself a drink.

"Ha. I remember when you guys tried to teach me how to ride a bike. You guys found the biggest hill in Viridian, put me on your bike, and shoved me down it," I reminded him. He smirked.

"You survived and I got a new bike. We both came out ahead," he shrugged, "How long are you back for?"

"A week. I saved the Viridan clients so I could spend a little time home."

"This is what makes you a better chess opponent than Joseph," Giovanni said, pulling out a marble chess set from under the coffee table, "You can plan ahead, something our dear brother fails to grasp."

"Thanks," I chuckled, moving my knight first. Gio chose a pawn. We played in silence for a while, until Jade came out toting a clean Silver.

"Can you hold him while I clean up?" she asked Giovanni, who took his son and held him on his knee. Gio shook his head.

"Honestly, I don't know why we have servants," he muttered low enough for Jade not to hear. He never took his eye off the chessboard. Silver was the same. He reached for and stole his father's black rook and took it to his mouth.

"Ah, Gio? You're down a rook," I warned him. Giovanni sighed and made to take the piece from Silver, causing him to whimper.

"Here Kiddo," I called, offering him the knight I had just lost to Gio's bishop. Silver happily sucked on the new piece, "At least he likes chess," I offered. Gio laughed and for the first time, I saw a look of pride on his face as he looked at the little boy on his knee. We continued to play with Silver watching with rapt attention. Every so often, he'd make another grab for a piece and we'd have to coax him with another. We ended the game in a stalemate with nothing but our two kings left. A good game.

"What are you doing tonight, Jack?" Gio asked as I stood up. I shrugged and he continued, "I'm going to head out to that new club, The Rolling Golem, around ten. I've got to meet some people, but you should come with. Take the edge off. You look like you've hadn't had a drink in days."

I thought about saying that I didn't drink anymore, but then I shrugged. It was a rare thing for my eldest brother and I to spend time together. Too different, I guess. That was how I found myself at the Rolling Golem in a booth sipping on a beer as Gio talked to the people he was meeting. Then I saw a familiar figure sidling up to the booth. She was wearing a low-cut sequined black dress and her blond hair was done up into an elegant twist. She shot me a peculiar smile as she approached.

"Jack Sakaki. Long time no see," Daphne greeted.

"I've been jet-setting," I replied, moving over a little so she could sit beside me, "I heard your recruits have agent status."

"Passed with flying colours," she said, "Now we're onto the next ones," she sighed wearily, casting a lazy look over at Gio, who gave her a quick nod before turning back to his company.

"Must be boring for you," I observed, taking a sip of my beer.

"How can you tell?" she retorted, taking a sip of her own drink, "Small price I pay, I guess."

"How are Miya and Catherine?" I asked conversationally. She started to roll her eyes, but stopped.

"Drama, drama, drama," she sighed, "Always something going on with those two."

"I heard about Miya's mother," I said, the thought just occurring to me that Daphne would have an in on that subject. It was still bothering me why Miya had never said anything about her mother before.

"Oh, yeah. Real sad, but it's no real surprise," Daphne said, "Long illness. Cancer or something. Miya's pretty choked about it."

"I can imagine. I would be," I replied, and deep down, I knew that I would be pretty choked up when it came time to say goodbye to my mother. Sure, she could be conniving, but she was still my mother and every move she made was for us, especially after Father died.

"She's had a tough go of it," Daphne agreed, "God knows her sister isn't much help. Has a habit. All the arrangements were on Miya. It'll be a relief when tomorrow's over. Funeral," she explained, "But Miya is a tough girl. She'll handle it. She always does."

"Yeah, I get that about her."

"All three of us are like that. We're adaptable, cool and calm under pressure," her voice was low now and her pale purple eyes were sparkling in the low lights.

"Really?" I asked, smiling nervously, feeling my mouth go dry.

"You should see us in the field," she continued, "We're more than just thieves, you know. We have skills you've never even seen before," she almost whispering now as she stabbed the olive in her drink with a toothpick and brought it to her lips. More nervous laughter from me. It was seductive, but at the same time, desperate. I remembered Miya, cool and mysterious, teasing. She'd give you a taste, enough to make you want more, enough to make you chase her.

"I could…show you," Daphne continued, her perfectly manicured nails lightly drawing circles on my hand. Desperate, I decided, as she angled her chest so there was little left to the imagination. I had frequented clubs long enough to know when a woman was into me and when she was throwing herself at me, even when she tried to be subtle.

"Would you two like a room?" Giovanni asked, snapping my attention over to him. His associates had gone and he was lounging back, smirking at us. Domino just smirked back at him. I shook my head.

"You know, I'm still on Saffron time and I'm exhausted. I'm turning in. Later," I yawned, excusing myself. Only when I was at the door did I look back. Daphne had moved beside my brother, whispering in his ear. He was still smirking, but I had a funny feeling in my stomach, like I was watching as he betrayed his wife.

"That's not the first time there's been something going on with Giovanni and Daphne," Jessie observed.

"It's true," Jack allowed, "but I've never been one-hundred percent sure about the two of them."

I ended up going home and staring up at the ceiling. Like always, Miya entered my brain. For the first time in months, I had information about her. She was burying her mother tomorrow. She was upset and stressed, according to Daphne. She'd need a friend…maybe.

She'll be at the cemetery, a voice in my head whispered. A location. A definite location. I could go there and offer my condolences. I could take her in my arms and hold her…

Idiot, another voice said, you abandoned her. She probably hates you, and what's more, her child would ruin you.

But it wasn't about the child. It was about me paying my respects, offering her a shoulder.

Then I thought of Gio and the look of pride on his face as he held his son, and I felt longing. I would never be able to hold my child like that.

I drifted off, wondering, not for the first time, if I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

"This story frustrates me," Jessie announced, "Why couldn't you guys just be together?" she whined.

"We were very different. Both of us liked to needlessly complicate things, but then, both of us were passionate people. If nothing else, it was passionate. And real," Jack sighed.

I found myself sitting in my car, watching as mourners moved under umbrellas towards their cars. The service was over and the friends and relatives of Miya's mother were anxious to escape the downpour. I caught a glance of another purple-haired woman who had to be Miya's sister. She huddled under an umbrella with some tall, thin guy. Of course I saw Miya. She was the first person I saw when I arrived, and now she was standing under an umbrella, staring down at the tombstone. Catherine was with her, much larger than she had been a few months ago. She and a man I can only assume to be her husband, seemed to be offering words of comfort. I watched as Miya plastered on a brave face, but even at a distance, I could see that it was all a mask. Then Catherine and her husband left. Miya was alone and she showed no signs of moving.

My heart broke, seeing her standing there all by herself. She looked so small as she wrapped her arms around herself and bowed her head. I got an umbrella and stepped out into the rain, walking slowly towards her.

"Hey," I greeted, a really pathetic greeting, if you ask me. Her back was to me, but I could still see as she stiffened.

"What are you doing here, Jack?" she asked, not turning around.

"I heard about your mother. I'm sorry for your loss," I said softly. She let out a shaky, hollow laugh.

"Gee, thanks," she said sarcastically, "I haven't heard that one today."

"You never told me about her," I commented. It was the only thing that I could think of to say. Maybe I was hoping that she'd turn and tell me about the woman she loved so much. Maybe I was hoping that she'd allow me to put my arms around her and pull her close to me. Wrong.

"Well, sorry if I never got around to telling you my whole life's story in the month and a half that we spent screwing each other," she spat, whirling around and stomping towards the parking lot.

"Miya, I didn't mean to offend-"

"Just don't!" she cried, turning back to face me. There were tears on her face, but her mouth was in a tight, angry line, "I can't deal with this right now!" More tears flowed and she angrily swiped at them.

"Miya-"

"Just leave me the fuck alone!" she shouted, turning away. I stepped forwards and caught her arm.

"Hey, it's okay-" she stopped moving and allowed a sob to wrack her body. I took my chance to pull her into me, my umbrella falling to the ground as hers half-covered the pair of us. I could feel the rain pelt my head and run down my neck, but that didn't matter. She was in my arms again. She cried into me for a couple seconds, just long enough for me to memorize how that moment felt to have her in my arms again. She was bigger now, and I could feel the bump that was our child nestled against my own stomach. She still smelled the same, like lilac.

Then she jerked away from me as if burned. The look on her face nearly broke my heart all over again. I could see her try to build up that mask again to hide the defeated look in her eyes. She looked as if she was carrying the entire weight of the world's burdens on her shoulders and that she was about to give in. She was not the vibrant, mysterious woman who captured my attention. She was just a shadow of who that person used to be.

"Please…don't," she begged, wiping at her eyes as she turned to walk back to her car.

Try as I might, I could not get the look on Miya's face out of my head. The look of pain in her eyes, the way her lower lip quivered oh-so-slightly, the way she sobbed against my chest…I could still feel the way she clung to my jacket, like I was a lifeline. She needed me. Sure, she tried to push me away, but that was Miya. She always had to try so damn hard to be strong. She had needed me.

But then when she had wrenched away, tears and rain dripping down her cheeks, she made me hate myself. She shook her head ever so slightly and backed away, like she needed me, but couldn't bring herself to trust me completely. I destroyed that trust.

"What did I do?" I asked myself over and over. The rain had stopped, but the sky was still cold and grey. I was drenched, rooted to the spot where I stood when Miya walked away. Then I looked down at the tombstone that marked the spot where Miya's mother now lay.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered to the grave, "I didn't mean…I'm sorry I hurt her," I choked out. I wondered what Miya's mother would have said if she had met me and what she had said when she learned that her daughter was having my child. I wondered if she was disappointed or elated that Miya was pregnant. Had she been excited to have a grandchild?

Was she the one who consoled Miya while I ran with my tail between my legs?

"Poor Miya."

"Yeah. It was hard on her and I just wanted to be there for her," Jack said sadly.

"But she was too tough?" Jessie guessed. Jack nodded.

"A little bit like you, Jessilina, but, as you know, even the toughest people break every now and then."

I returned to my rooms at headquarters to receive a message from Joseph. He wanted to meet the next day, hang out while we both had some time off. It was kind of nice, just me and him. Isabelle stayed home. Apparently, she was about to pop.

"She's been a nightmare," Joseph sighed, rubbing his eyes, "Been in false labour about four times now."

"Must be scary," I commented, taking a sip of my Pepsi.

"Yeah, no more so than her now. She's about a week or so overdue. Getting crazy…course, she wasn't entirely normal to begin with, but that's what I married," he shrugged.

"Well, you've got to be getting excited," I prodded him. I had been thinking a lot about what it was to be a dad or a dad-to-be. Seeing Gio with Silver made me smile and now, talking with Joe, I almost envied my frazzled older brother.

"Sure," he allowed, "It's a big deal and all."

"Well, Mother's excited," I said, "It's all she talks about. I bet Father would have been stoked too," I added. My father died when I was young, so my memories of him were a little shaky. Joseph laughed.

"Yeah, Father would have been happy. The man had a lot of patience for being the leader of a new crime syndicate. The only time I ever saw him get mad was when Gio and I put a helmet on you and tried to send you down the stairs on Gio's skateboard," Joseph said, smiling warmly at me. He knew that I liked it when he and Gio talked about Father.

"What did he do?" I asked.

"Gave us both a whack with the belt and then he picked you up and didn't let you out of his sight for the rest of the night," Joseph answered, "He had a soft spot for you, I think. Must've felt sorry for you being such a shrimp."

"And probably for having you two as brothers," I added, "He was really involved with us, wasn't he?"

"Yeah," Joe replied, "Him and Mother both, but then when he died, she had to take over the Team and Gio and I were stuck with you."

"Right," I said slowly, frowning. I had been thinking of my father a lot, ever since that afternoon at the graveyard. After I left Miya's mother's grave, my feet led me to the plot where my father was buried. Just like with Miya's mother, I had wondered what my father would have thought about my situation. Would he be proud of his youngest son? Probably not. What had I amounted to, aside from a work-obsessed deadbeat father-to-be? The only thing I focused on was work and that inheritance that would only be awarded to me if I outdid my brothers. Would the man who fiercely protected his youngest son condone me walking away from the woman who was carrying my child?

Definitely not.

"Eh, we had a good run of it," Joe said, laying money down on the table, "Look where we are now. You're on the rise as a negotiator and I'm having a kid. I think we did alright."

"Maybe," I sighed. He frowned as he shrugged on his jacket.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked. I looked sadly at my brother.

"I just…seeing you and Giovanni…it just makes me think of Miya and…and the baby," I admitted. Joe froze and his eyebrows shot to his forehead.

"Jacky, you remember…that kid'll ruin you. Not to mention Miyamoto. Mother would NOT be pleased if she found out you knocked up her favourite agent and disgraced the family. I mean, she may go so far as to eliminate the disgraces. You're better off to find someone, marry her, and then have a kid," he reminded me. I nodded, but it was Miya's tortured face that was before my eyes.

"Jack, forget about it," Joseph said again, "Listen, Mate, I gotta go, but if you need to talk, you know where to find me."

I nodded and he left. I sighed and watched him walk back towards the gym. I sat there for a while, replaying my brother's words in my head.

Then I saw a familiar figure exit the side-door of the gym and lean against the wall with her head in her hands. Miya. Instantly, all my senses were on alert and I was already crossing the street when the door opened again and Catherine emerged.

"Miya, hey, hey, it's okay," Catherine said, moving to embrace Miya, who shrugged away.

"I shouldn't…I'm fine…fine…" Miya gasped, trying to regain her composure.

"Miya, I don't even know why you came back to work so soon. You just lost your mother and-"

"And there are bills to pay," Miya finished, "and I'm the only one who can work to pay them."

"Miya, the insurance-"

"The insurance gave dick-all," Miya scoffed, swiping at her tear-tracked cheeks, "All of Mom's money went to paying for treatment and hospital stays. Miki has nothing to contribute, so it all falls on me. My savings are gone and I don't know…I don't know if I can do this anymore," she cried.

"Miya…" this time Catherine was successful in embracing her friend. Miya sobbed.

"Mom…she was the whole reason I was…now she's gone…I…it's all fucked up…"

"Shhh. It's tough. I know that. You were having the baby to give your mother a grandchild and then this happens. That's life, but at the end of all this, you're going to have a little baby that you're going to love as much as your mother loved you," Catherine soothed.

"If I've even there to love it," Miya sniffed, "I'm broke, Cath. I'm going to have to get another job or two just to keep me going. What am I going to do? There's going to be things the baby needs and I can't get them."

"Shh, Miya," Catherine held her friend, allowing her to get everything out as I listened against a wall.

"I want it, Cath," Miya cried, "I want my baby so much. Every time it moves…but god, it isn't fair!"

"It never is, My," Catherine whispered, "We'll help you, Fred and me. You're not going to be alone. You'll get through this. I promise," she whispered over and over.

"I know the feeling," Jessie said softly.

"Yeah, well, listening to it…I felt like scum," Jack admitted.

My mind would not turn off, not when I knew that Miya was suffering because of me…of bearing the burden that was my child. It was a burden she didn't have to bear. She could have just gave up on it months ago, but she had wanted to keep it and give her mother the chance to be a grandmother…and I suspect that she had wanted the chance to be a mother as well.

She'd be a great mother, I thought as I paced my rooms later that day. Even if I didn't want the baby, that didn't mean that she shouldn't have it. Even if this kid would ruin me, as Joseph often pointed out, that didn't mean that it had to ruin Miya. Why shouldn't she have a baby?

I paced some more.

It was my fault that Miya was suffering. No matter how much Joe said otherwise, it was true. Maybe I should have thought about condoms when Miya and I were together…a little extra protection. That part was on me, but nothing I could change now. She was still pregnant and I was still a scared piece of shit. I hated myself for the way I abandoned her in order to protect that inheritance that I suddenly didn't feel I deserved. My brothers, who owned up to their responsibilities, deserved it more than I did. I, who ran away from my responsibilities, didn't deserve a dime.

If I somehow did manage to get a part of the inheritance, it should go to Miya, I thought, I don't deserve it, but she does. She's a saint…trying to carry the world on her shoulders. She deserved it more than I did. She deserved everything.

Then it hit me. A plan.

I knocked twice on the oh-so-familiar door. My hands trembled as my numb fingers grasped the flimsy piece of paper. I was nervous and righteously so. The door opened and there stood Miya, clad in pyjama bottoms and an over-large t-shirt, which fit snugly over her bulging abdomen. I gulped when I saw her eyes widen.

"I told you to leave me alone," she said, making to close the door. I found my voice.

"Miya, don't! Please, just let me talk to you!"

"Jack, I have nothing to say-"

"Then don't," I said quickly, "Let me say it all. First, here," I said, thrusting the piece of paper in my hands into hers. I felt that familiar tingle up my spine when my clumsy fingers brushed her soft, nimble ones.

"What the hell is this?" Miya asked, looking down at the cheque in her hands.

"It's for you," I elaborated. She raised her eyes to meet mine, defiance and longing fighting for dominance there.

"Trying to ease your conscience?" She shot at me. Apparently defiance won out.

"Yes," I answered truthfully. She looked a little taken aback by my honesty.

"What?" Miya managed. I took a breath, trying to remember the words I had recited in the car. I couldn't recall one.

"Look, I'm a shitty human being," I started, "I know that I've screwed up so many things and…the thing I hate the most is that I hurt you. Just…believe me when I say that I still care about you, Miya. I do. Of course I do, but I can't…having a baby scares the hell outta me-"

"You think I'm not scared?" she challenged, but her face had softened at my admission.

"It's scary shit. I can't…I don't think I can be a father. I'm not…I don't wanna screw up some innocent baby. Like I said, I'm a shitty person, especially compared to you, Miya. You wanted the baby, even if you had to do it alone; you took care of your mother when she was sick and arranged her funeral; and you've been working yourself ragged to pay for everything. You're a much better person than I am."

"Jack-"

"I want to be better," I said softly, "I want to be stronger, like you. I want to. I just have a problem following through, but this…the money…this is me following through and owning up. This kid is part mine…part my fault and it was a real dick move to just leave you to raise it and provide for it on your own. You can hate me all you want, but don't tear up that cheque. It's not for you. It's for the baby so that you don't have to shoulder all the burden, so you don't have to work yourself to death to provide for it, so you can go home at the end of the day and spend time with it instead of putting in overtime. Just…please."

She looked down at the cheque for a moment and then back at me, "Jack, this is…are you sure?"

"Yeah," I replied, "I want to do this for you."

A soft smile played upon her lips and she nodded, "Thanks, Jack."

"Anytime," I offered, turning away from the door.

"Jack?" she called me. I turned to see her biting her lower lip, "I don't hate you."

"I'm glad you don't, but you should," I responded.

"I never do what I should," Miya told me, shooting me an almost playful smirk. Suddenly, I felt lighter, like the weight on my shoulders was lifted for a moment. The fact that she didn't totally hate me made my day. I mean, sure, we weren't together and I'd soon be pining for her once again, but at least now, maybe there was some hope or some chance that maybe she'd be in my arms once more.

"As frustrating as your story is, I think that was my favourite part," Jessie admitted with a smile.

"Oh?" Jack questioned curiously.

"You owned up to it. You didn't run…not really. You sounded like you were ready to be a dad," Jessie explained, "And Miya was still obviously in love with you."

"That so?" Jack asked, smiling.

"Yeah."

"Well, I was still scared shitless," he remarked. Jessie grinned.

"Every parent-to-be is scared shitless. Trust me."

TBC

AN: So after three weeks of internet problems, I give you the next in Jack's story. Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy it! Let me know your thoughts on this!

Songs that inspired this chapter:
-Someday by Nickelback. Solid Canadian band. Woot!
-I Miss You by Blink 182. Great song.
-Sorry by Buckcherry. Really sets the tone for Jack's regret.
-(Taking My) Life Away. Another great Canadian band. I think the lyrics fit quite well.