Deidara waited outside the clinic smoking a cigarette. He checked his phone; 9:45, the doctor should be wrapping up by now. From what he gathered, she came once a week for a couple of hours-this was his only chance. Finishing the cigarette, he threw it on the ground and snubbed it out with the heel of his scrubby Converse. Texting his contact, he asked:

*Sasori, you done yet?

*I'm next

*Txt me the minute u r done

*Yah. D u sure about this? Dealing with the Akatsuki is bad news.

*I know what I'm doing and you kno its too l8 for me now.

*When you die, can I have ur stuff?

*Screw you man.

With a snort, Deidara stuffed his phone into his jacket and lit up another cigarette, settling in for another wait. Exhaling a plume of smoke towards the sky, he watched volunteers leave for their happy little homes and personnel locking up. 20 minutes later his phone chimed.

*Done.

Taking one last drag, Deidara flicked his cigarette into the darkness and went into the small clinic.

Seated across the doctor, Deidara disliked her immediately. She was too prissy, too polished, and probably though she was better than her patients. "My name is Dr. Einaudi, everything that you tell me tonight is completely confidential. Now, how can I help you?" Oh yeah, he hated her already. The way she addressed him in that snooty tone, Deidara could feel her derision.

"You can help me by keeping quiet and cooperating," Deidara pulled out his gun and pointed it her. To her credit, she remained calm. "Look, let's talk this out. What do you want?" Dr. Einaudi asked. "I want you to grab your bag and stand up," Deidara moved to her side and yanked her up.

"You don't want to do this. People will be looking for me. Why don't I just give you some money and you let me go, I won't tell anyone," she tried. "No can do, babe," Deidara led her to the dark parking lot. They were almost at his car when a man greeted them.

"Doc! You're here late! Who is this?" the man inquired. He was pushing his janitor's cart closer and closer. Before he could stop her, the doctor called out, "Oh he's just HELPING me to my car. He's just so HELPFUL. People don't HELP others as much anymore." Deidara winced at her blatant calls for help.

"Yeah, I'm just reviving chivalry," Deidara smiled through gritted teeth. Thankfully, the man merely nodded and wished them a good night. Deidara took one look behind him to make sure that the other guy wasn't following them. Taking advantage of his momentary distraction, Dr. Einaudi kneed him in the groin and pulled his hood over his face, then legged it out of there.

"Bitch!" Deidara wheezed an octave higher than usual. He threw himself at her, for once his height was good for something other than basketball jokes, and brought both of them crashing to the ground. They struggled on the concrete, rolling and scratching before he managed to cuff her wrist to his own. He sat up panting in triumph. His glow of victory quickly faded when the doctor used her hand to swipe her now mussed hair out of her eyes.

"You moron! You've cuffed the wrong hand! I'm being abducted by an idiot!" she yelled. Indeed he had cuffed her left wrist to his own left wrist and when he pulled her up, she was awkwardly facing him. "Whatever, just get in the car," he huffed. A bit of a struggle ensued but with her arm awkwardly wrenched behind her, there wasn't much Dr. Einaudi could.

"Are you done?" Deidara asked impatiently. "No! Plus go get my shoe," she pointed with a dainty foot, "These shoes cost more than your car!"

Deidara looked at the shoe keenly, he didn't doubt her. With a sigh, he retrieved both the gun and her shoes. Then with a scuffle and several curses, got her and himself in the car. Putting the car in drive, he headed towards the safe house. Things were finally going smoothly until the doctor yanked her wrist-and by extension, his- and the car jerked crazily.

"You dumb bitch, you wanna die?!" He yelled and jerked the car back into its lane amidst the blare of horns. "My name is not bitch! It's Emiliana!" she jerked her wrist again in emphasis. "Well Emiliana it's nice to meet you, my name is Deidara," Deidara introduced himself sarcastically.

"It's not nice to meet you! Where are you taking me?" Emiliana asked.

"A safe place. We're here," with a sigh of relief Deidara pulled up to a dark gloomy building.