"I've never been so disrespected!" Deidara snarled after stumbling out of the shop. After the Scot flipped up his kilt, he had lunged forwards to beat the shit out of him but Emiliana blocked him and eventually pushed him outside. Emmie was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. "It's not funny!" He said indignantly.
"Oh but it is! You thought you could get away with it but he caught you!" She wheezed holding her side. "Whadaya mean thought I could get away with it, I did! Can you imagine going commando in this thing?!" Deidara hauled her up and pinned her to his side so that she would stop slipping to the ground. "Walk normally, damn it," he rolled his eyes. "Sorry," Emmie sniffled, "Ok , I'm fine now. Where to next?"
Deidara started the car irately, "Were going to McDougal's Dairy farm." Emmie raised a brow questioningly. "He's an arm's dealer, the farm is his front-he makes damn good cheese though-drugs aren't his game but he's connected real good. All major players use his business to smuggle stuff. He probably knows something." Emmie nodded and they drove in relative silence.
"Wow, look at all these cows!" Emmie rolled down the window to poke her head out. Deidara was about to yell at her to close the windows but seeing her thrilled expression and the way her hair whipped in the wind like black waves, he shut his mouth. He could deal with the smell of cow shit if he could see her smile. It beats her ripping his head off. He pulled into the long driveway, parked and hopped out while rearranging his kilt. Emmie suppressed a smirk seeing him turn it the wrong way. "How do you girls deal with this?" He complained, standing still so that she can rearrange it.
"Mr. Hisaka!" A large red headed bear of a man popped out of the barn and charged at the two. Instinctively, Emmie ducked behind him and Deidara glared at her for using him as a shield. McDougal as per his habit, engulfed Deidara's slighter frame in a massive hug shaking him from side to side. "How's my favorite arsonist! Please come in, you must try my latest Criffel, bring your friend!" The friendly bear boomed and grabbed Emmie warmly. Emmie looked bewildered and Deidara understood. Douglas McDougal was a 6 foot 4 Viking of a man with a wild red beard that looked like a hedgehog who got hit by lightning and a voice like a jolly elephant seal. Deidara hated being dragged by McDougal, as a tall man, he hated being manhandled by men taller than himself.
McDougal led them into a lodge with high ceilings and dark wood paneling where the majority of the decorations were Scottish tartan, antlers, and claymores. Pushing them into a overstuffed velvet couch, he poured Deidara a generous portion of Scotch and Emmie some mead. Deidara copied Emmie and tried to sip his drink rather than throwing it back per his wont. McDougal lovingly cut slices out of his prized Criffel cheese and proudly served it. "How is it?" He leaned forward eagerly.
"It's good," Deidara said, mouth full. Emmie gave him a withering glare, "It's wonderful! Mild and aromatic, creamy and savory. How long was this aged?" Delighted, McDougal answered, "3 months!" Emmie nodded, "I think if you age it a bit longer, some of the subtle nutty flavors will come out." McDougal immediately whipped out his phone to take notes.
Putting her plate and glass down, Emmie addressed him, "Sir, thank you for your hospitality but I'm afraid we are here on business. Are new dealers using your business to smuggle drugs? And are they involved with electronics at all?" McDougal's face darkened. "Dei, I don't know what you're getting into but you best watch out for the lassie. To answer your question, yes. There's a new dealer in town. Yakuza. I dunno if electronics are involved but I'd ask the Triads first. They're pissed that another Asian gang is muscling in so you bet your ass they'd know everything that's going on."
Deidara snorted, "Triads, I'm gonna need a voucher then." McDougal smiled sinisterly, "I'll be willing to write you one if you help with the next batch of cheese."
Thirty minutes later, Deidara stripped down to only his kilt and Emmie sweated through her white shirt. "This is the worst," she groaned. "I know!" Deidara grunted, I think cheese is salty because people's sweat get into it," he flicked a shock of sweaty blond hair out of his eyes. The timer dinged and relieved, Emmie and Deidara sat down leaning against one another.
"Get your gross sweaty self off of me," Emmie shoved him. "You get off ME," Deidara shoved back. Too tired to keep up the fight Emmie drank some water and Deidara looped a sweaty arm around her shoulders much to her disgust. McDougal stomped in, "Good, you're done! The cheese will be ready in 3 months, come back for it! And here is your voucher," Deidara took the crisp envelope from McDougal's fingers. "Thanks man, I owe you," Deidara clapped McDougal on the shoulder.
Unsticking from each other they went to the car and drove back to the apartment. "Me first!" With a burst of energy Emmie darted into the shower. Deidara cursed and laid himself down on the bed to wait for Emmie. After he showered and dried his hair he flopped down next to Emmie and fell asleep exhausted from the cheese making excursion.
A crashing sound and the sound of gunfire woke Deidara up, immediately he tackled Emmie who was trying to sit up. He grabbed his gun from the stand and motioned for her to get behind him. Emmie gripped the back of his shirt, her gray eyes stormy with fear. "Lock the door," he breathed and shoved her into the bathroom.
"Come out come out Dei Dei!" Hidan's voice rang in the small apartment. Deidara slinked to the bedroom door peeking out through the crack. 3 men, he could handle them. From his discarded pants, he slipped out a knife and slid it into his pocket. Firing through the door, he heard men howling in pain and knew he hit at least one man. Kicking the door open suddenly, he shot a man in the chest then ducked when Hidan opened fire. Retreating, Deidara tightened his grip on his weapon and vaulted over the chair as Hidan crashed into the room. Hidan charged and Deidara fired but missed when he realized he was going to fire into the bathroom. Hidan smirked maniacally, "Who's gonna save you now?! After you killed my homies and your bitch showing me up in the club, I'm gonna get my pound of meat!" He held the gun up into Deidara's face.
Like the divine wrath of the heavens, Emmie's suitcase crashed into the back of Hidan's skull and he crumpled like a can. Breathing heavily, Emmie brought her suitcase down on his head one more time. "It's a pound of flesh! How dare you misquote Shakespeare!" Deidara stood up, "Damn! You're fierce," he laughed. "We gotta clear out, get our stuff and clean all the surfaces of our prints," he commanded.
As Emmie did as she was told, Deidara checked on the other 2 men. Dead. Then he went back to Hidan who was just unconscious so he tied the man up. "Done," Emmie said. "Go outside and cover your ears babe." Emmie opened her mouth then touched his arm before leaving.
Deidara waited until he heard the door close behind her. Slapping Hidan awake, he growled, "Alright motherfucker. You're gonna leave me alone got it? Tell that to your boss." Hidan spat at him, "I work for myself!" Deidara kicked him in the stomach, "The hell you do. You had to be working with someone else. You can't afford automatics, plus you're dumb as hell. This is a warning." Deidara grabbed the man's right hand and splayed his fingers. Whipping out his knife, he ignored Hidan's panicked thrashing.
Standing, Deidara wiped the knife onto Hidan's back. "I'd keep that on ice," he said over his shoulder, kicking the severed index finger towards Hidan.