Kabuto ran about arranging and rearranging things for their upcoming wedding. Emmie didn't see the point, they were going to be married in 18 months, there was time. However, he was the one taking care of everything, she was just trying to get through each day.
Every single day seemed to blur into the next. Weeks slipped into days while minutes became years. Emmie just couldn't drum up any feelings stronger than detached unhappiness. At night she drank more to keep unwanted memories of a man who she thought was summer personified at bay. But sometimes, she slipped up.
Emmie was standing waist deep in the sea. Everything was blue and gold. The crystalline sea was glass-like around her and there was not a cloud in the sapphire sky. The golden sun bathed the sea and the sand. She turned her face to the sun, enjoying the warmth and the feeling of contentment. It was a gentle feeling but haven't feeling contentment in a while, she felt it as intensely as the rays of the sun.
"What the hell are you doing? You're gonna go blind, dumb ass," an amused voice said behind her. Emmie turned and smiled taking in the sight of Deidara. He stood there as beautiful as ever, his golden tanned skin and rich honey hair dripped with sea water, rivulets running down his body, enhancing his cut torso and defined shoulders and arms. His tattoos clashed beautifully with the blue surrounding him, the colors more vibrant and animated than usual.
Deidara reached for her and swept her into a kiss. Emmie felt like life was breathed back into her again, colors, smells, sensations seemed more intense, more awake. He swung her around and threw her in the water playfully. Laughing breathlessly, Emmie felt the rush of falling until she hit something hard.
Eyes snapped open and Emmie smiled at the dark. Suddenly, it felt like everything became muted again, all of the vibrancy was sucked out and Emmie fell back into a desaturated world. Shakily she got up from the ground. Tears pricked in her eyes. Not again, Emmie thought, blinking rapidly and poured herself a Scotch. She vowed never to waste a tear on that shithead but these dreams seemed to grow in intensity, blurring the line between delusion and reality. Emmie pressed the cool tumbler against her throbbing head. It was over wasn't it? But why couldn't she move on?
Feeling the warmth of the alcohol, Emmie felt herself drift. Deidara came and went like a wild winter storm, unpredictable, wild, and cruel. He cut her heart open but like the tide is drawn to the moon, she rose eagerly, inevitably to meet him. When he left, she receded into the depths of her loneliness, her stirred up emotions settling like debris.
Desperate for something to make her feel anything again, Emmie agreed with Kabuto's enthusiastic request for an engagement party featuring a famous artist. She used to love going to art showcases to discover new art; apparently this artist went on a 6 year hiatus before rejoining the artistic community. He was some kind of prodigy, maybe his resurrection will ignite her own revival.
Emmie looked through her closet for an hour, throwing costly clothing on the bed and strewn on the floor. Finally she decided on an ethereal Ted Baker dress that made her feel like a fairy. Tying her hair back and slipping on a pair of white Jimmy Choo sandals, she gave herself a onceover, nodded in satisfaction and left. Returning to her vanity, Emmie slipped her engagement ring back on. Even though the stupid ring was gaudy and ostentatious as anything, she kept forgetting to put it back on. It was like her mind refused to accept the fact that she was now getting married. Emmie studied the ugly thing, tempted to throw it away, but she kept it on and left, trying to ignore the weight of the result of her decision.
Emmie smiled at her friends and family, accepted their congratulations, and exuded a happiness she didn't feel. She smiled, toasted, and laughed like it was all a part of a well-rehearsed script. Finally, the party moved into the main lobby to continue the festivities. After dancing with Kabuto, Antonio, and her girlfriends, Emmie found the opportunity to escape. The noise and amount of exuberant party guests were overwhelming, making her head spin unpleasantly.
Holding her Lynchburg lemonade, she wandered through the quiet exhibit. Apparently, the artist specialized in making unstable and combustible paints and used them to make his backgrounds. Sipping her drink, she studied them critically. She liked the rawness and unbridled emotions the canvasses evoked. Somehow, they made her feel nostalgic for something undefinable. They looked like cosmos and nebulae, Emmie thought, swirling her drink in one manicured hand. Going from one canvas to another, they told a story of a man and a woman, set in the galaxy. The artist somehow conveyed passion and adoration using graceful lines, and bursts of ephemeral colors. It was lovely. The story continued, the woman left in a supernova blast and the man faded. The story concluded with a black canvas.
"Like as black hole", she muttered. Emmie studied the female figure in the paintings. Though the woman's face was never depicted, something was very familiar about her, something about the profile maybe? She came closer and squinted hard at one canvas. The figure had a cluster of stars on her right scapula in the constellation of Capricorn. Just like herself. Looking from painting to painting, she realized they were all of her. There on the canvases were her legs, her hips, her neck and more. With a growing horror, she knew exactly who the artist was.
"How do you like my paintings, huh?"