Unbeta'd, mind the mistakes.
This chapter contains brainwashing, a child performing acts he does not understand, and a changing.
In which Naruto learns to trust his instincts.
1 year later
Age:6
Root Underground
"Again!"
He brought it forth, curling, veins pulsed against his forehead as he tried to force out more of the hot chakra from deep inside- the one that never felt right against the cool of his colors. The world always changed at this time. The edges of his vision blurred whilst the centers sharpened nauseatingly. And the colors of everything became more muted, dull, yet brighter.
"Fuuton: Kaiten Shuriken!" He rasped. His voice was easily worn by disuse and ran dry before his chakra. He's far beyond the threshold his chakra should last but Master was never satisfied with mere chakra exhaustion. He was only happy when the hot chakra cauterized his veins poured forth. Surely if he was cracked open his veins would have been dry.
Such theatrics, his instinct sounded mirthfull then. Show him. Show him what I showed you!
There were pathways forming in his veins as his instinct showed him how easy it would be to make the Shuriken entirely out of wind instead of wrapping around pieces of metal. Human tools, so inefficient. He chose to ignore his instinct because sometimes it scared him how independent it seemed to be.
"Fuuton: Kaiten Shuriken!" He yells again.
His words came out inaudible however his chakra obeyed. It wrapped its unnatural warmth around the six shurikens he aimed at his Master. The course and thrusts are nearly perfect and the chakra whipped the blades forward faster than he can track without aid, so it never fails to frustrate him when Master easily deflects all six with a twist of his staff.
"Again!"
Show him! His instinct insisted again. It was louder due to exhaustion and there was suddenly so much warmth. His shoulders dropped, knowing he'd disappoint Master soon if things kept up this way - and bitterly wondering why he was being pushed so. Did Master want him to fail? It had been so long since he'd let his beloved master down. The memory was still fresh but Naruto knew there had been at least 20 'times' since he'd last felt unimportant.
This time he doesn't even get a chance to mouth the Jutsu before a staff is flying- no, being thrust- at him. His instinct told him when to dodge backward, flipping onto his feet and crouching back gracefully. He let his expression reveal confusion that was only ignored by Master. Wasn't he trying his best?
Did he let Master down? The fear was instantly heavy. Master spent so much time with him, he never laughed at him or grew angry for no reason. When he let Master down he would become a nothing, a waste of space, unimportant to master. He couldn't have that.
Over and over again he lived this same nightmare and the same conversations replayed in his head. Be strong, make Master happy, and show Master how happy he makes you. That's what kept him fighting in the morning instead of laying down and letting them carve him up like that first week. It was the driving factor in choking down those chalky food balls.
He tried his best to fight back against the staffed attack but he was 8 and extremely outmatched. The past year of constant attacks taught him how to dodge but his counterattacks always been weak. He rarely lands a hit on the masked monsters that come in the morning and never on Master. If only he could make master proud.
Show him!
Then, one day, at least a hundred 'times' later he does. One day he lands a blow on the masked monster that comes each morning. Another time he decides to listen and he manages to drive it away with the help of his instinct. How easy it was to let that warmth guide his movements show him just how to hit. How to channel the warmth from inside into something far more potent than he ever managed before. It leaked out of his body easily and wrapped in a thick current around his body. After that, another time comes and he finds himself without a scratch as master greets him. He'll always remember that one because Master brought him a book - nothing special, just words describing the strengths and weaknesses of different weapons- and left it overnight. He left it without turning off the torch and Naruto memorized that book back to front and back again.
He finds that when he wins he gets rewards and when he loses Master is even more disappointed. He's learned that the red stuff is called blood and there's still so much of it when he displeasedisappointedhurt.
When he doesn't let the monster win for many 'times' he's surprised the next morning with two. And for a while he feels like he's 5 again, cowering against the wall in somuchpain because they've torn his body to shred and then master comes and does it again.
(He thought he was strong for a while and it's so humbling to be defeated again. He realizes he's so useless and he doesn't matter to the Monsters or to Master or to-)
There's an irony that he can't remember the person he wasn't supposed to forget. He doesn't remember but the smell of smoke and fish. It doesn't do to dwell on things for the same reason Master says to not dwell on the dead. He can't risk his momentum slowing down when he came so close to pleasing Master.
It gets better and it gets worse. He wins the fight and then something new comes his way. Another person, weapons, Jutsu he doesn't know how to respond to and only survives because instinct seems to know what to do. Instinct sends warm chakra through his body and he doesn't feel so alone. It opens channels through his body and he finds he can press his fingers together in a way he never knew how to and pure power rushes out. He finds if his Instinct shows him how to do something he remembers the pathways easily for the next time. Master says nothing about his attacks but the unease in the room drives him to use the attacks less.
Many Times after
Age: 8
Root Underground
Times blur together until a din snaps him from the fog. The sound of a staff see-sawing on the ground before rolling to a stop at Naruto's own feet. He grins in a mockery of the sun he doesn't remember when Master nods in approval. "Tomorrow you will start your first mission."
He woke up alone the next time. Without giving anything away to his woken status he listened. His ears were enhanced by his instincts at that time, expanding his chakra and just waiting for the change in air pressure that would alert him to the monster's presence. How many would it be today?
It came to him suddenly, the memory of master promising a 'mission' today - whatever that was. Did that mean the Monsters would stay away for now? Still uneasy, he opened his eyes to the dark and waited, never letting his guard down. When the torch flickered down the hallway- it never did that until after the masked monsters attacked him.
A familiar step, step, thunk soothed his nerves instantly. The tension melted out of his body and he was quick to bounce up, shaking with anticipation. Master was there early.
"Follow me," Master motioned for him to follow and they traveled the hallway and he was shocked to see it ends at a door. There had never been a door there before. Master took him through and the next hallway is just as dimply lit but there were pipes running along the walls and a steady drip drip drip That Naruto had never heard before in the deafening silence of his own hallway.
Then he saw it: a monster. The monster was low to the ground, masked face pressed against the ground and so he was quick to rush in front of Master.
"Boy," Master reprimands him just before he can form heat in his veins and rush at the monster. Confused he looks at Master for guidance. But master doesn't even react. They walk past the monster who was bowing at their feet and he skirted past, never taking his eye off the monster.
Master lead him to another room with a shallow pool of water. What's it for, he wonders. There's a block of something next to it, food? He approached wearily, looking inside the pool but finding nothing of danger, only a foot of water and cement. He picked up the hand-sized block next to it and lifts it to his mouth.
"Boy," Master sounded almost exasperated when he licked the scentless block and found the taste far worse than the chalky food balls.
"It seems I overlooked too many of the basics," Master admitted before leaning his cane against the wall and beckoning him to step into the water. He'd expected the water to be frigid and was shocked into a small gasp when it was warm. That stood out to him as something incredibly nice though he had no insight into why.
"This is a bath. You clean yourself of scents before a mission. All the stealth training in the world would be useless if the enemy can smell you before they see you. Soap and water, go on."
He grew instantly frustrated. This seemed familiar, being in the water. He didn't know what clean meant. He didn't understand at all what Master wanted him to do. He held the soap awkwardly before pressing it to his chest. His chakra was starting to grow warm but it was all centered around his face. He gasped loudly, hands pressed just beneath his eyes and felt something hot transferring to his fingers. "Master! Master my chakra is coming out of my face,"
Master was quiet for some time, staring at the boy as he panicked. The boy's frustration was forgotten as he tried to figure out why his Chakra was leaking- and why Master wasn't doing anything.
"That happens…" Master started so slowly he had to twitch in impatience. "When something upsets you- when it makes it feel tight here."
He looked to where Master indicated, his chest.
Master asked, "So what upset you?" His tone was neither cold no warm, the same even stance he normally took with the boy.
"I didn't know what to do with the Soap. I don't know how to clean but I feel like I should and I don't know why. I haven't done this before, have I? I've always been here. Why does this feel wrong Master?"
Instead of addressing his questions, Master let his tone grow just soft enough for the boy to tell the difference. "That's frustration. Learn to ignore it and it will pass. Come, I'll wash you this time."
Though he was phased greatly by Masters sudden change in attitude, he easily allowed himself to be guided into a sitting position. Master knelt on the water without getting wet- chakra supporting him above the water with ease.
The boy was tense at the new touches but found himself easily molding to what Master wanted, watching in amazement as rough hands massaged the soap into his arms until murky brown suds were forming. He was wowed by how the bubbles changed from brown to white and his skin became gold. This was repeated on every inch of his body and he was sure not to complain when the soap leaked into places that burned. He'd felt far worse from the monsters in the morning.
When the soap only came out white and clear Master let him out of the bath. He was dried like a doll and then Master left and came back with clothes. He was taken aback by how hard it was to get them on but with Masters help, he found himself snuggly inside the outfit. It was simple: black pants and a black shoulderless turtleneck and light shoes. Then Master helped him slip on black sleeves and wrist protectors and a gray protective vest. He buckled up the shoes until they were securely attached to his tight secured the sleaves on his arm tightly with a white wrap and stepped back to appraise his work.
"You're ready."
He was introduced to his partner, as master called it, "This is Fu."
Fu was a tall monster with light hair and golden eyes that peaked from a frowning animal mask with yellow spikes up the cheeks. Master handed the boy a monster mask but this one had not a single mark, just a white oval with two round eyes. He stared at it for a long moment once it was in his hands, unsure what to do.
"Put it on," Master's impatient tone hinted at punishment if disobeyed and he scrambled to fix it to his face. There was so much he wanted to ask. What does this mean? Am I one of the Monsters now? I don't understand.
"Now you know what a mission is. Fu will be leading the objective. You will be addressed as 'Nomu' for missions only. Do you understand?"
Nomu gave a nod. "Yes, Master."
"This is a test. Do not disappoint me, Nomu. Do not hold back."
Nomu swore he wouldn't and grinned behind his mask. He'd make his master proud, even if he had to use his Instinct to do so.
The sun is warm and for some reason, that surprises Naruto and makes his chest constrict until he asks Master if he's sick. Would things be different now, if he knew then that heartbreak had a name?
The mission was too easy. Nomu stared through the tree branches at two of the 6 enemy ninja within 10 meters of them. They too wore masks but theirs had less shape and more patterns. Nomu remembered the lesson about other villages and was able to place them as mist nin. The instinct whispered to him then,
If they react first you both die. Kill them fast.
He argues with the voice, but fu hasn't given the order.
And it responds far more irritated than Nomu expected. Do you want your master to be happy, brat? He'll be pissed if you die!
Well, that makes sense. Nomu decides to listen to his instinct and realizes which Jutsu it wants him to perform though he doesn't know the name. He struggles for a moment to expand his chakra and find six individual currents in the air, to curve and direct them with his chakra network until they twist naturally and ride a gust from the north. Closer the currents were twisting towards the enemy ninja just slow enough to not arouse suspicion.
Then his chakra pulsed and seemed to snap off inside of the currents, pulling what he needed from the gentle individual strands, knitting them together tighter and tighter until something snapped and the sharp unseen blades cleaned through their centers.
For a second Nomu thought it didn't work because the two he saw didn't make a sound. They were absolutely quiet. Then there was a gurgling wet sound as four separate pieces hit the ground. Nomu stared down in shock at the ground where each torso was cleanly cut in half.
Why did I do that? This makes no sense! Why did I kill them? I don't understandIdontunderstand-
His thoughts were pulling apart and he felt like he had to physically latch on to both halves, pulling them back in because if they keep going he didn't think he'll ever pull them back in. It helped when Fu landed beside him. The usual brick of a man has clear unease shining in his eyes. "All six have been cleanly cut in half. Mission completed."
focus on the mission. focus on the mission. Make Master happy. Butwhy but
"Fu," Nomu looked up at him. "Why did I do that?"
Fu flinched, "Why did you kill them?"
Nomu inclined his head a little, then glanced back down at the two dead below them. "Is it because I'm one of them now? Is this just what we do?"
"Ask Danzo-Sama that," was Fu's quick response.
Nomu wondered if Master would be upset but Master usually welcomes questions. Master says he can't let him become a mindless tool, that he needs to learn how to think. But maybe he should find the answer to this one by himself. "Okay."
"What was that Jutsu," Fu asked, quite uncharacteristically. Then Nomu remembered he was briefed that Fu could sense chakra and could understand how it looked strange.
"I don't know how to explain, really. It's like there are currents in the air and they feel like string kind of but they move like bath water. There are lots and lots of them. So I let my chakra out and it surrounds me and it rests on the net of air and then I know I can move the currents too. I can press all those strings together till there's no air and then I can push it forward with the other strings." He felt entirely inadequate in his description but it was hard to describe something he could only feel.
"You infused your chakra with air," Fu inhales sharply. "Have you shown Danzo-sama this?"
Nomu frowned. "Is it bad?"
Eagerly shaking his head, Fu crouched down on one knee so he was level with the small child. "Have you seen anyone use a chakra-enhanced weapon?" After Nomu nodded he continued, "We mold chakra from the inside because cannot influence it outside of what we touch. That's why we have these chakra tools that spread our chakra across an extended surface and still lets us keep control of it. We are not able to keep control of chakra that has left our body. But that's what you just did."
Lighting up at the perceived praise Nomu asked, "Will it make me strong?"
Fu said yes, which made Nomu beam. Master would be proud of him now. He hopped down onto the bed of leaves beneath them and approached the upper half of one of the bodies.
"What are you doing?"
"Remembering them," Nomu said as he removed the mask for a moment before placing it back, "I'll be done in a minute!"
Like a child. Like the child he was. He didn't seem to grasp that these men were dead, and they weren't coming back and he had no reason to have killed them other than because that was simply what people did. People attacked each other, people killed each other, and there was no reason except to make Master proud- to mean something.
Master looked radiant when Fu briefed him. "You acted without orders, endangering a mission by breaking the chain of command and for that you will be punished," and the boy shrunk back.
"However this is good news. Walk with me, I want to hear more."
Master took him outside the complex again. They walked not far, just down to the riverbank. It felt nostalgic, he thought but didn't quite remember why.
I've been here before.
They stand close to each other and he does as best he can to describe the exact feeling, how "- the Instinct told me to."
"Told you to?"
Naruto nods affirmatively. "That's what instinct does right? It tells you when to dodge and who means ill and it showed me how to use that Jutsu."
"Does it speak to you with actual words?" Masters asked and at his nod continues, "Do you notice it speaks more at certain times?"
Master was showing genuine interest in what he had to say so the boy grew enthusiastic, wanting to share it all. "Usually, but sometimes- with the Jutsu- it's more memories? My Instinct never really goes away but it's louder when I'm tired. When my chakra feels really hot. Sometimes it's like a growling in my ears. Does your Instinct do that Master?"
"You thought everyone had this inside of them, so you never mentioned it." Master told him. Feeling that he was wrong cause him to shrink back a little, suddenly undeserving of Masters proximity. He didn't ask his next question because Master continued first, "Instinct is a feeling, not a word. No. I should have noticed this earlier boy. That is no simple instinct talking to you."
"Don't you have one?"
Shaking his head sharply, Master stepped closer to the riverbank and took a seat on a misshapen boulder. The sun reflecting off the water chased the shadows from masters face, making him look younger than before. "You were born as a container to a powerful demon."
He had no idea how to respond to such a claim so he just stared at Master. "Like a parent?"
"No. And you haven't any parents. Why do you think you are treated differently? You are not a person but a container. "
An angry roar starting in his ears but he's not entirely convinced it's his instinct- 'demon' he corrects quickly. Master must have sensed his growing distress because he motioned beside him, "Sit with me."
He did. Master extracted a scroll from within his sleeve, opened it and pressed his thumb to the nonsensical circular pattern on the paper. From the scroll, a simple kunai poofed into existence. "Tell me, boy, what is the difference between this scroll and you?"
He thought for a long minute. They both held something. But, "I'm a human and that is paper?"
Master rewards his response with a thwack to his head with the handle of his cane, sending him forward. He caught himself easily but looked back at Master with confusion before clamoring back onto the rock. "What did I say wrong?"
"There is no difference," Master stated and he knew then it was a hard fact. Even still he felt like arguing but not knowing why. "You are an item, a strong item made to keep the rest of us safe from the monster you house: The Kyuubi which the fourth Hokage died to seal. You should be proud to be such an important item, but you are an item nonetheless."
He suddenly wished to be anywhere else as everything Master told him sunk in. He wasn't a person. He was an item. A container no different from the scrolls master gave him containing food rations for the mission.
And then there was the realization that the demon fox that killed the fourth Hokage and nearly destroyed their village was inside of him.
"Master I think you should kill me," He said it with little hesitation despite how afraid he was. He didn't want to die but this thing inside him that he's been calling instinct suddenly wasn't. He knew how close to the surface the Demon was that it could control his chakra pathways enough to instruct him.
"I cannot," Master admitted and looked troubled by that statement. Then in a tone the boy doesn't think he was meant to hear Master said, "You are the one item I find myself unable to dispose of."
"Am I important?" Naruto asked with great fragility. "Do I matter?"
"You are a very important Item. If you train this new power and grow strong enough to use the thing inside of you, then you will matter more than anything else."
(He doesn't matter yet but he will and that's all that's important.)
"Do you still want to be Hokage?" Master asked him after a great time of silence. He didn't answer Master right away but studied him, trying to see if he should want to be Hokage.
"Isn't the Hokage a person?"
"Some tools make the best Hokage."
"Would that make you happy, Master?" He asked when he found no answer in Master's steeled features and verbiage.
Master inclined his head. "More than anything. But is that your dream?"
Suddenly it was and he'd never wanted something so badly. There was a fragmented memory of a dream so many times ago but he couldn't remember why he wanted to be Hokage then. He did now. "I want to be Hokage. More than anything Master! I will. I'll learn how to use this skill and I'll be the best container. I'll make you Happy."
That earned him the closest thing to affection his Master ever gives: another nod. And later that night when master carries out his earlier promise and he's lying in a mess of his own sweat and blood he thinks it's the best punishment he's ever had.
A lifetime later
Age: 13
Hokage's office.
Sarutobi sat on the floor, on a rather itchy cushion, behind a rather large desk. He stared across the oak at Danzo, who was staring back with just as much calculation. "You surprise me, Danzo."
"Did you expect me to argue? The conditions were clear: 7 years uninterrupted with it. Keep it out of the public eye and then when it's strong enough to protect itself reintroduce it to society. I'm humbly turning over the goods."
When Sarutobi only raised an eyebrow Danzo huffed and continued, "I have no one with the Sharingan in the foundation."
Sarutobi looked down at the four files in front of him. "So you wish me to replace Kenjo with Naruto?"
"I would prefer to introduce it to Itachi."
"He couldn't be ready for missions like that. He's only 13."
Danzo scoffed internally. If only Sarutobi knew the killing machine he'd trained. His cane thumped an unsettling rhythm against the floor as he walked closer to the Hokage. "You're right, of course. But it fought against Fu or Torune every morning. Towards the end, it started to win."
That was rewarded by a long cold look from Sarutobi. It wasn't like the Hokage could have proved anything but Danzo still bristled under the accusatory glare. "You can place it as you like, but do not waste it's potential.
"Even considering the Uchiha, giving him up so easily isn't like you Danzo," Sarutobi said lightly, but the suspicion was practically spat.
"Do you want me to keep it?"
A flinch passed across Sarutobi's features but whatever it was- too close to guilt for him to find comfort- was replaced quickly by his former suspicion.
If Danzo was troubled by the distrust he showed no signs of it on his face. "It's power is growing by the day. Right now the relation with the Demon is growing well. But, just in case, I need a Sharingan user to control to bond with it."
"We have no guarantee that his Sharingan will awake."
"He is Itachi's brother. It will."
Sarutobi had to agree. "Itachi... At this rate, he will be surpassing me soon."
Danzo took no verbal note of the change in topic, merely turning his body away. "An Uchiha as Hokage would complicate things."
"Perhaps," Sarutobi turned back to the window, "The cherry blossoms are in full bloom early, did you see?"
Danzo made a noise of contempt, "Spare me your poetic nonsense. You will take it?"
"Of course. Though I suspect these two are vastly incompatible. Do you truly think they will connect? Or that they will be lifelong partners?"
"You feel the imbalance, don't you? That thing in the air that's been warning us that something is wrong. Trouble will follow those two and If there's one thing I know about the boy it's how desperately he'll hold onto anyone who doesn't show him contempt. No matter how they hurt him later he will be obsessed to please them. Like the monkey grabbing the gem, not willing to let it go to avoid the hunter"
"Now who's grown poetic in his old age."
Apparently, Danzo took that as a cue to leave. He wasn't spared as Sarutobi's voice cut through again. "Danzo-" his voice wavering lightly but warmed all the same. "He's changed you."
(And how much did you change him Danzo? What has he done by letting Danzo protect him? He has made so many mistakes, please, don't let this be one of them.)
Danzo scoffed in indignation and resumed his exit.
He still slept in the hallway when he's not on a mission. It didn't scare him anymore. He accepted that only Master could escort him out of the loop and so he waited and waited and waited. He had to be ready to go in case Master needs him. He ate what feels like four 'times' ago but he always saves his food ration for when Master tells him there's a mission. An item doesn't need to eat if he's not making Master happy. He doesn't need to drink or use the bathroom or do anything but sleep and make sure he's ready to be used.
(Sometimes master complains about his weight and makes him eat multiple nutrition bars in a row until he is begging for it to stop. Instead, he sinks, cheeks hollowing and ribs aching)
As always Master came and he bounced up on his heels in impatience for the older man. Their routine went as standard, the bath before becomes Nomu.
Occasionally his master would still help him bathe and dress, even though Master knew he could do it by himself. But this time the boy did it all himself. The water was so hot it turned his skin pink but still felt cold. Afterward, he slipped easily into what was almost his standard outfit but had no mask but Instead a headband with a leaf insignia. And instead of his vest, there was a jacket with orange lining. He looked at the tag with a character he didn't know how to read.
"You are a very small child," Master mumbled. Was that disappointment? At the boys flinch, Master schooled his expression better. "That is not your failure."
He held the jacket tight around him like a hug, soaking in the warmth and protection against the tense atmosphere. "I like this color, Master," He grinned wide up at the old man in an attempt to appease him. "I really like it. It fits! What kind of mission do I get? Is it different?"
When his master showed more agitation to his pestering questions, he quickly made himself seem smaller and smilekeepsmilingsmile. "This will be the last mission I give you for a long time."
The constriction in his chest was instant. "Master? Are you getting rid of me?" His voice came out more broken than he meant it to. It seemed to break off in his throat and his next words fell carelessly. "But Master I tried really hard I promise. Is it because of the scar? Is it because I'm not Hokage? Will it make you feel better if you hurt me? Can't you just punish me? I'll try harder If you do I promise I'll be the best container-"
He was cut off as Master's hand came at his face. He didn't flinch away but stared at the hand with both fear and anticipation.
(Yes. If master just punishes him then Master will feel better and won't get rid of him!)
The hand touched his hair and it didn't hurt. Frowning at Master he still leaned into the touch. It's strange, he thinks. Masters hand felt rougher than before from age and use where he could feel it against his ear. "Such a good boy," Master said, "Your mission is to get as strong as you can. Keep control of the demon inside you. Become the strongest tool for me. For this mission you will be called 'Naruto'."
Naruto? It took him a moment to realize it's a name. It's not just any name either but-
"That's your name. Make me proud, Naruto."
The hand on the side of his head is the softest thing Naruto has ever felt. It helps keep him centered as he his Master gives him small tips like where he'll be staying or where he can shop and important things to never mention about Root. Then they stepped out of the darkness for the last time. He was afraid but as long as he kept getting stronger it would be okay and one day he'd be Hokage and if it's the last thing he does he'll mean something.