"Hey, Kiz! I see that the shopping adventure was successful." Baba greeted when we pulled back up to the house.
I was still getting used to the city so I relinquished navigation to Kyle yet again, but as soon as we were on the road that led back to the house, I sped ahead of him to beat him home, just barely. Soon, I'll be able to zip through the city at whatever pace I want without being held back by Kyle's grandpa-driving. Kyle, Jasper, and Christopher were starting to unload their bags but left mine and Sydney's for us to take ourselves.
"Absolutely, Baba!" I said with a large grin. I'd barely reached for a bag when the other Guardians filed out of the house and started grabbing more. They stood to the side, bags in hand, waiting for instructions from either Sydney, Baba, or myself.
"You three can follow me," Sydney said hesitantly. She didn't trust Guardians easily, and, honestly, I was surprised that she trusted Jasper, Kyle, and Christopher so quickly today.
"And the rest of you can follow me," I said chipperly bounding up the front steps and into the house. Since I was a little more enthusiastic about getting my purchases upstairs, I took the lead and led my Guardians straight up the stairs into my room. "You can just set them on the couches."
They all nodded, and upon setting their packages down, they abruptly left the room. I called a thanks after them, but I got no response. I sifted through the mountain of bags and first pulled out my shoes. Jasper was being a bit overdramatic when relaying my purchases to the group. I'd only gotten a dozen pairs of shoes, not a few dozen, there's a huge difference.
I had gotten a pair of heels that went with each of my rompers, but I didn't just get rompers. I got a range of clubbing clothes: jeans, shorts, miniskirts, crop tops, t-shirts, dresses. I placed my shoes around the baseboard of my closet, lining a third of my closet. I suppose I could get more shoes to fill all of the closet.
I hung up my dresses, skirts, and rompers. Sydney had somehow found these skirts that could double as a cloak, and I got one in black and one in white. She was hesitant to let me get one in white because it would most likely be drenched in blood by the end of the night, but I got it anyway.
I placed my bottoms and tops in their respective drawers of my dresser, snipping off tags as I went. After I'd put everything away I stood back and observed the mess that I'd made. My bed was covered in white price tags and my seating area was littered with multicolored shopping bags.
I swept all the tags into a bag and gathered the rest of the trash before going to the kitchen. It was getting close to dinner time, and my stomach was making itself known again. I shoved my trash into the garbage can and looked around. There wasn't a Guardian in sight and I was surprised not to see my father or Pavel in the kitchen.
I heard faint sounds coming from the basement and figured that everyone was in the gym. I ran upstairs to get dressed into something more gym-appropriate. Sydney was still organizing her belongings, both what she'd brought with her this morning and what we'd bought today.
"Everyone is in the gym when you get done," I called as I passed her room heading back downstairs.
The closer I got to the gym the more shouts I heard. Something was wrong. There's never this much yelling, not from multiple people. I expected yelling from Pavel or a single Guardian, but not several. I picked up my pace and froze in the doorway.
Eight Guardians were in the process of holding Christopher, Kyle, and Jasper back from a huddled mass in the middle of the floor. Baba had a hand placed on Pavel's chest, effectively holding him back, though Pavel's face was stormy.
Christopher was shouting obscenities while Kyle and Jasper were yelling at the Guardians holding them back.
"What's going on?" I asked loudly causing everyone to stop and turn to me other than the huddled mass. I kept my eyes on the unknown figure as it tensed in its spot on the ground. Christopher, Kyle, and Jasper broke from their captors and formed a strong line in front of me, blocking my view of the figure who'd begun to stand.
"Kiz, let me explain." Baba began as Pavel shot him a dirty look. "I need you to keep a cool head about this."
"That's not a good way to get me to keep a cool head about anything, Baba," I said, but he didn't continue. "Amca, are you going to tell me?"
"I didn't want this, Yeğen," Pavel said looking apologetic.
"Didn't want what?" I asked trying to look around the wall of bodies, but Christopher held me back, and I didn't fight him.
My heart froze, as did the rest of my body when the mass stood completely. He was bruised and bloody, but he stood tall. Despite his imposing height, he looked small, small and broken.
"Roza." He breathed looking at me. I felt the three Guardians around me tense, and I heard Pavel faintly growl.
"Kiz, let me explain," Baba said gently.
"No," I whispered.
"Kiz…" Baba tried again, but I started shaking my head.
"No," I whispered again, stronger this time. Christopher pushed me behind him as Dimitri took a step toward me, and I clung to him. Kyle took my hand and pulled me to his side as I fought off the tears.
"Roza, please…" Dimitri said, a flash of anger crossing his face as Christopher and Kyle protected me.
"No," I said louder. "No."
He took another step toward me, and I tensed. Each second that passed my anger grew. Anger at myself for being so weak. I wanted to run to him. He looked broken, lost. I wanted to help him, I wanted to take his pain and mix it with my own.
I was angry at Baba for bringing him here. It's obvious that Pavel knew what had happened, he didn't want him here either. Baba knew the only person that could get me to leave Court and Lissa was Dimitri. He had to know that something happened between us, he probably knew exactly what had happened, too, but he brought him to me anyway.
I was angry at Dimitri. He did this. He pushed me away. He had to know that I had a breaking point, and he did everything in his power to find mine. He found it, he broke me. In turn, it seems he'd broken himself, too.
I was angry. The anger fueled me. Everyone's anger fueled me. I took Christopher's. I took Jasper's. I took Kyle's. I took Pavel's. I took Baba's and Dimitri's pain, and I used it to fuel myself, to make me stronger. I would never be weak because of this man ever again.
"Roza, stop! You have to stop!" Dimitri cried out as I felt the entire room, other than myself, relax.
"You," I growled in a voice that wasn't my own. "You don't get to tell me what to do."
"Roza, this isn't you," Dimitri said, my words producing more fear.
"That's where you're wrong, Dimitri. This is me. I've embraced who I am, what I can become. If it wasn't for you, I never would have gotten this far, so I really should be thanking you."
Dimitri took another step forward as the rest of the room scrambled to get as far from me as possible. I let the Darkness flow through me, but I was in control. Despite what Dimitri thought, and what I was leading him to believe, I was in total control.
Black smoky tendrils trailed down my arms, looking like tattoos as they danced over my skin. They were soft, almost like feathers. Dimitri was coming closer. He was about five feet from me now, looking scared but determined. I reached a tendril out and stroked his face. He tensed as the Darkness approached him and winced as it met his skin, but his expression turned shocked.
"It's not what you thought it was, Dimitri," I said softly. Using anger to fuel the Darkness had left me calm and focused. "It never was. I control it, I feed it. It obeys me because I'm not scared of it anymore."
"But it can still harm, Roza." He said looking pained.
"It can't harm me, not anymore," I said pulling it back. "But it can hurt others. It's silent. It takes all your negative emotions, leaving you feeling at peace, and then it strikes."
"You need to stop." He whispered again.
"No," I said a little more forceful than the last time before turning the attention away from me. "Why are you here, Dimitri?"
"I'm here for a job." He stated.
"Not as a Guardian, not here," I said looking over at Baba. Pavel was standing protectively in front of him, looking unsure who to trust, himself or me. "Baba, I don't approve of having this man in the house. You said the final decision was up to me, and I don't approve."
"Roza?" Dimitri's pained voice made me flinch.
"Dimitri, I can't have you here. I refuse. You broke me, and I hate to admit it, but I still love you despite all you've done. Your time as a Strigoi was not your fault, that wasn't you, but the man that came back from that warehouse was not the man I fell in love with. I know that now. The man I fell in love with died in a cave in Montana, and there's nothing I can do to get him back."
"No, Roza. That's not true." Dimitri said tears in his eyes. His hands reached out to me, but the Darkness blocked him from truly reaching me. "I couldn't handle your love when I was restored. When you left, I felt my heart leave with you. I watched that plane leave begging for it to turn around, for you to run into my arms. I regretted the words as soon as I said them, but I couldn't take them back. I tried to find you, to apologize for everything, but you were already leaving, and I thought I'd lost my only chance at happiness."
"You're not completely wrong. You lost your only chance at happiness with me." I said looking into his eyes. Pain flooded his face, and his body sagged. "Your happiness isn't here. Your happiness is with your family, with someone that will love you, someone that you will love. I'm not that person, not anymore."
He was crumbling before me, and I knew I needed to stop, but I couldn't stop. I needed him to feel what I felt, the pain and heartache. I needed him to feel his heart ripped out of his chest like mine had been in the caves. I needed him to feel the fear I felt when I was hunting across Russia, locked in his prison. He needed to know the pain I felt when I pushed a stake into his chest. The pain that came with seeing him every night in my dreams, his eyes rimmed with a crimson red.
"I lied to you that day, Roza," Dimitri said quietly. "My love for you could never fade. My love for you is stronger than anything I've ever felt. I was scared, scared to let you get hurt again. I was scared to hurt you, but I did, one last ounce of pain and you were free. I did what I thought would free you from me. I did what I had to do to set you free."
"You accomplished your task," I said, but he continued on as if I hadn't said anything.
"I'm weak and selfish. I'm weak because I couldn't accept that you were there for me, that you'd forgiven me for what I'd done in Russia, what I did in Las Vegas, in Pennsylvania, in that warehouse. I was weak when I pushed you away, but I'm even weaker now because I don't have you to keep me strong. I'm selfish because I thought I knew what was best for you, what was going to help you, but it was to help me. I'm selfish because I want you back, I need you back." He said, pushing back the force of the Darkness and easing his way forward.
I tried to keep the Darkness in place, but his loving emotion was too strong, stronger than my pain, stronger than my anger. When his entire body had broken through the Darkness, it dissipated like the smoke it was. The overwhelming sense of love was left in its place.
"I refuse to leave until I have you back. It might not be right now, it might not be tomorrow or even this week. Hell, it might not be this month, this year, but I'm not pushing you away anymore. I'm going to stay by your side whether you like it or not. I'm not a Guardian stationed at this house, so you don't get the final say in anything. I'm your Guardian, sworn to protect you and you alone."
"My Guardian?" I asked breathlessly.
"I hired him to keep you safe. It's not that I don't trust these boys, but I'm not taking any chances. I will have the best Guardian protecting my daughter if she's going to be out hunting Strigoi." Baba said fiercely.
"You mean he'll be going hunting with us?" Christopher questioned loudly.
"Wherever Rose goes, Dimitri goes," Baba said narrowing his eyes at Christopher, begging for a challenge. Dimitri hadn't taken his eyes off me during the short conversation. I could feel his eyes on me, like I had all day.
"You were following us today," I stated.
"Wherever you go, I go, too." He responded. His aftershave had started to invade my senses, and I knew I needed to get out of here. I took a step back, desperate to put space between us.
"Kyle, Christopher, Jasper, will you go for a run with me?" I asked still backing away from Dimitri. His fists clenched as I called to my actual Guardians.
"Sure thing, Rosie," Christopher said heading to the door, the other two following his lead. I turned and practically sprinted out of the gym.
I heard Dimitri calling after me, but I kept on my path. I ran faster, not waiting for the guys. I needed out of the house. I needed to get away from him. His scent was invading my senses, clouding my judgment. His words were breaking down my walls, and his overwhelming emotions were pulling me toward him.
I left the guys in the sand, sprinting ahead of them. I heard them try to stop Dimitri, but from the amount of shouting, Dimitri had gotten past them. I ran harder, trying to put as much distance between myself and the love of my life.
He might not push me away anymore, but that doesn't change the fact that he already pushed me away. He pushed too far, and there's no going back. He can try all he wants, but I'm not going back.
My mind was made up, but my heart wasn't listening. My chest ached being away from him, I felt peace being in his presence. His pain was my pain. His happiness, mine. I wasn't lying when I said that he'd lost his chance at happiness with me, but what I didn't tell him was that I'd missed my chance at happiness forever by pushing him away.
The truth is, I couldn't let myself get hurt again. If I took him back, he had the chance to hurt me. I wouldn't survive him hurting me again. I'd rather live an unhappy life than to die from the heartache he could cause me.
"Roza!" I heard from behind me. 'Wherever you go, I go, too.' That's what he had said, I guess he wasn't lying this time. I pushed my legs to go faster, hoping to wear him down. I could keep this pace for longer than he could. There was no way that he could catch me.
Suddenly, something hit the sand around my feet. I looked back and Dimitri was running a several yards behind me gun in hand.
"Are you shooting at me?" I yelled at him, slowing my pace before picking it back up again.
"If you would stop, I wouldn't have to," Dimitri called firing a couple more shots at my feet.
I stopped abruptly, sending a tendril out and wrenching the gun from his hand. This didn't seem to faze him as he continued on his pace toward me. I planted my feet as firmly in the sand as I could, the Darkness at my command.
I put up a wall between us, thinking that it would hold. He jumped head-first, arms outstretched right through my wall and tackled me to the ground. I was stunned as he gripped my wrists and pulled them above my head, using the rest of his body to pin me down. Not only was he at an advantage because he was bigger than me, but every time I moved and wriggled to get out of his grasp, the sand shifted, and I sunk further in.
"Stop fighting me." He whispered in my ear as I continued to struggle.
"Get off of me!" I screamed and fought harder. I tried using the Darkness again, but it seemed to shy away from Dimitri.
"Stop fighting." He whispered again, his voice calm as his lips brushed against my earlobe. I kept struggling. If I didn't get out of his grip soon, I'd give in. I'd take him back, and I think he knew it.
I knew my struggle was in vain, so I stopped. Dimitri's grip on me didn't lessen as he kept his lips by my ear.
"Stop fighting me." He whispered once again before placing a kiss on my cheek. He moved back to my jaw, following the bone to my chin and moved to the other side of my face. "Roza, stop fighting."
"My name is Rose, Guardian Belikov. I suggest you either call me that or Guardian Hathaway." I said in the coldest voice I could produce. I knew he probably felt the pounding of my heart, but I wasn't going to stop fighting. If I stopped fighting, I would get hurt again. "Now, if you wouldn't mind, get off of me."
Dimitri pulled back to look down at me, but I kept my face expressionless. I willed my eyes to show no emotion, and if the look on his face was any indication, I succeeded. He nodded curtly and rolled off of me. I quickly stood and brushed the sand off of my clothing while he sat in the sand staring up at me.
I could see Christopher and Jasper getting closer, Kyle and Pavel not too far behind. I quickly made my way toward them, and without a word, the two leading the pack placed an arm around me and steered me back to the house while Kyle and Pavel kept heading to Dimitri.
I steeled my heart against Dimitri's words. I forced myself to be stronger. I pulled my strength from the men beside me. I'd get over Dimitri but not without help.
"Are you okay?" Jasper asked when we were almost back at the house.
"I will be," I said with a small smile. When we entered the house, all conversation stopped. Sydney walked up to me and wrapped me in a tight hug.
"We're all here for you. He's not going to get to you. He may be your Guardian, but he's nothing more." She said fiercely. She turned to glare over my shoulder, and I turned to see Dimitri quickly making his way up the beach.
"Thanks, Sydney. I really appreciate it, you guys." I said hugging her back. "I'll be upstairs in my room. Try to keep him away from me."
"That's going to be kind of hard when his room is right next to yours." Christopher seethed.
"I figured as much." I sighed but headed for the stair anyway.
I'd reached the second story landing when I heard Dimitri calling out for me.
"Where is she?" He asked.
"She's avoiding you, and if I were you, I'd let her." Christopher's voice floated up to me.
"You don't know anything. I'm trying to fix the mess I made." Dimitri said sounding angry.
"I know exactly what you did, so please do us all a favor and just be her Guardian. Worry about guarding her body, you've already caused so much pain to her heart." Jasper said.
Dimitri didn't respond but I heard shuffling toward the stairs. I dashed the rest of the way to my room as silently as I could. I shut and locked the door behind me. I pressed my back against the door and slid down it, leaning my head back with a small thump.
Mere seconds later, I heard footsteps in the hallway stopping right outside my door. They hesitated the for a minute before turning. I thought they would move away, but I didn't hear any retreating footsteps. There was a dull thud and the sound of sliding come from the other side of the door.
Dimitri had sat down outside my door. My heart broke for the second time this week as I heard the soft sound of crying emanating from behind me, and I cried with him.