I can be just friends. That's no big deal, right?
It wasn't like every time I saw her I wanted her in my arms.
It wasn't like every time I heard her laugh it made my heart soar.
It wasn't like every time she touched Christopher it made my fists clench, my jaw tighten or my eyes narrow.
Of course not.
That would mean I wasn't doing this just friends thing correctly.
We'd been doing this friends thing for weeks now. I'd watched her prepare herself for fighting Strigoi. I'd watched her prepare us for defending and defeating. I'd watched as she prepared the guys for clubbing. I'd participated in that last preparation, but I wasn't too great at it.
I was only good if I was dancing with Roza. Christopher was fine by himself, and he seemed convinced that he could find a girl willing to let him dance with her. Jasper and Sydney were getting along fine without our help, though it took Sydney a little while to warm up to the rest of us.
"Do you guys know what we're doing?" Roza asked for the fifth time since getting dressed. We were going to Marquee. Pavel had informed us a couple hours ago and told us it was more upscale.
Roza wasn't carrying swords tonight, but we were all going in armed with stakes. She had Jasper and Christopher dressed similarly in light wash jeans with tight, almost transparent, white t-shirts. She'd instructed me to wear dark wash jeans with a white button down.
"We know what we're doing, Rosie." Christopher sighed again.
"I feel like an idiot," I stated, joining them in the living room.
"You look like an idiot," Jasper muttered. I barely heard him as Rose spoke over him.
"That's because you're wearing that shirt like it needs a tie." She rolled her eyes and motioned me over. I quickly complied and moved to stand in front of her. My breath caught as she reached for me. Her eyes were focused on my shirt though. "Let loose, Dimitri. Live a little but tuck in your shirt."
I looked down to see she'd unbuttoned the first three buttons on my shirt and was busy tucking in my shirt for me. I felt my lungs ache as I continued to hold my breath, praying that this wasn't a dream. She hadn't been this close to me for a while. I forgot how much I loved the way she smelled, like peaches. She'd started at the back of my shirt, pulling the fabric tight across my stomach, wrapping her arms around my waist to complete the task and was working her way to the front when I stopped her.
"I think I can manage from here, Roza," I whispered breathing heavily, my lungs trying to return to their normal functioning. She looked up at me and blushed.
"Sorry. I'm excited but a little nervous." She said smiling.
"Why does Belikov get to look like a Russian Adonis while the rest of us get to look like mere mortals?" Christopher grumbled dramatically. Rose grabbed my arm after I'd finished tucking in my shirt and began rolling up my sleeves. I was more than capable of rolling my own sleeves, but I was enjoying her delicate touch so I let it be.
"He was the only one fortunate enough to be my mortal lover," Rose responded just as dramatically, throwing an arm across her eyes. "It takes a special person for a goddess, such as myself, to fall in love once, never to happen again."
She and Christopher fell apart laughing, but my heart ached a little more when she said, 'never to happen again.' Would she really never love again? Or would she just never love me again?
I could live with her never loving me again, kinda, but to never love again, ever, I didn't want that for her. She deserved to find love and happiness, even if I couldn't be the one to give it to her.
Only Kyle seemed to be paying attention to my internal crisis as Christopher and Rose moved toward the garage. Sydney and Jasper were following close behind.
"Don't worry, dude. She's coming around, it just takes time. Just think of it this way, she only wanted you to be dressed up tonight." Kyle said patting me on the shoulder before following the rest of the group.
I stood there trying to think of different reasons Roza would have for dressing me like this. It couldn't possibly be due to the fact that she wanted me to look like this for her benefit. That was the explanation I wanted to be correct, but it was also the one that gave me too much hope so I went with a different one: dressing like this would help the mission.
"Come on, Dimitri! Unless you want to be on the back, get your ass moving!" I heard Roza call from the garage. After hours of arguing, she'd relented to letting me drive Sasha with her on the back.
We decided it was best for Roza and me to travel together and the others to travel in an SUV. Kyle was very adamant that he would only be driving unless it was life or death. Roza and Sydney seemed perfectly fine with his decision, though I could tell Jasper and Christopher hoped that he would change his mind.
I entered the garage just in time to see Roza fixing her cloak. I don't even know where she found these things, but they were impressive. It was a cloak that fell around the top of her knees but doubled as a floor-length shirt should she fasten it around her waist.
She'd gone with a bright baby blue romper with an iridescent black cloak. As she hooked it around her shoulders, the split it created up the side gave a tantalizing view of her tanned legs. She grabbed one black helmet and held it out to me. I took it from her and waited for her to don hers before pulling mine over my head.
She motioned for me to climb on first, and I tried to calm myself as she wrapped her arms around me from behind. It astounded me how perfectly she fit against me, like we were made to be together.
"You alright, Dimitri?" She asked quietly when I still hadn't started Sasha.
"Yeah, just preparing myself for tonight," I responded, releasing a sigh when she squeezed me tighter.
"It'll be fine. We're not hunting, and if we encounter any Strigoi, we won't engage unless they're actively causing harm." She told me. I let her continue believing that I was preparing myself for hunting. In reality, I was preparing myself for the inevitable. Guys would be dancing with her tonight and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
She wasn't mine to protect, not that she needed my protection, and she'd informed me that in order to blend we needed to dance with other people. I had a hard enough time not killing Christopher when he touched Roza, and I knew they were only friends. I don't know what I'd do if I saw someone who clearly wanted to get into Roza's pants touching her.
"Comrade?" Roza's sweet voice broke me out of my murderous thoughts. I tried not to think too much about the nickname as I apologized and started the bike.
By the time we made it into the city, the sun had set. New York City is known as the city that never sleeps, and if the hustle and bustle happening around me was any indication, it had earned the nickname. We took the long way, opting not to cut through the busier midtown traffic, but even those streets were filled with people, cars, and taxis.
When we got into the city, traffic caused us to slow down, and Roza released the grip that she had on me and decided to loosely place her hands on my hips and sit up straight. I tried not to feel the lose her new position caused me or the ache my heart felt when she didn't notice.
I could practically feel the tension and excitement radiating off her as I pulled the bike to a stop in front of and the building. Abe had pulled several strings and had assured us that we could park anywhere, even in the middle of the street, and we wouldn't be towed.
"You go on in, Roza. I'll wait for the others." I told her as she swung her leg over to jump off. "Just be careful."
"Always am." She said confidently as she hooked her cloak around her waist. Each step she took away from me was another knife dug into my side. Her hips were swinging provocatively as the bouncer immediately let her pass.
She didn't even look over her shoulder as she disappeared into the packed building. Not even a minute later, Kyle pulled up behind me and the rest of our group piled out. Jasper threw his arm around Sydney's shoulder and led her inside without as much as a word to the rest of us.
"Christopher, can we talk for a second?" I asked before he could move inside.
"Sure? What's up?" Christopher asked eyeing me wearily.
"I know I have absolutely no right to ask this, but could you keep an eye on Roza tonight? I know she's not going to want to me interfere should any guy get a little too handsy, but I want to make sure she stays safe, not just from Strigoi."
"I think I can do that, though I'm sure she'll only act upset if you were the one to step in," Christopher said patting me on the shoulder before turning to go inside.
"Dimitri, I know you're worried about Rose, but try your best to have fun tonight. You aren't working, so just relax." Kyle said from his spot beside the vehicle.
"As long as Roza is alive, I'm always working," I said with finality. Kyle just sighed and shooed me inside. The bass-heavy music that could be felt from outside was almost dizzying inside.
With my height it made it easier to scan the crowd, but it also made me stand out. I could already feel several pairs of eyes on me as I made my way to the upstairs lounge area. As I ascended the stairs I could see Roza mingling, three guys trailing after her, their eyes glued on her ass.
Even in the flashing lights, I could see her eyes scanning cautiously. Her eyes snapped up to me before wandering down my body. I tore my eyes away from her as I reached the top of the stairs. There were couples grinding everywhere. There were more girls dancing in groups than guys, but I guess that was to be expected.
By the bar downstairs I could see guys knocking back shots, patting their buddies on the back before sending them after a female. Roza's body drew my eyes back to her as she wove her way to the middle of the dance floor. She had attracted more guys in her walk there.
She was dancing surrounded by males. She didn't seem to notice them all that much, even though their hands were moving in dangerous ways. I stood at the upper railing watching her mesmerizing hips as they swayed with each beat.
Her arms were above her head, hooked around the neck of the guy behind her as his hands gripped her hips. A smile played at her lips as she closed her eyes. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be the one behind her. Her ass brushing precariously against my crotch with each swing of her hips.
My eyes widened as I watched smoky tendrils pour from her beautifully tanned skin and pool at her feet. I was the only one that seemed to notice it, or so I thought.
I was vaguely aware of Christopher making his way over to Roza. He seemed to have attracted quite a bit of attention himself. Roza's eyes opened as he got closer. She smiled in his direction and looked up to meet my eyes. I could tell she knew it was my doing when she narrowed her eyes at me, but her Darkness dissipated.
She moved on to dance with the next guy, and I moved to the bar. I ordered water in a vodka glass. There was no way that I was going to be drinking tonight. Not only was I driving back tonight, I was also in charge of keeping Roza safe. There was no way I was going to prevent myself from keeping her safe by consuming any amount of alcohol.
I moved back toward the railing, but I sat on one of the leather couches that looked out over the dance floor. It gave me a great view of what was happening below without making it too obvious that I was watching.
I sipped my water as a few women came my direction. I turned my eyes away from their slim figures, wishing for a curvier figure to join me on the couch instead.
"Do you mind if we join you, handsome?" The blonde asked me. Her friend, a redhead, looked just as hopeful as she did. I motioned with the hand that wasn't occupied to the places beside me. They quickly sat on either side of me. The redhead sat to my left and clung to my arm while the blonde tucked herself under my right arm that was resting on the back of the couch.
"What's your name?" The redhead questioned after squeezing my bicep, drawing my attention away from the swaying bodies below me.
"Aleksandr," I responded in my most heavily accented voice I could muster without being unintelligible. We'd, meaning Roza, decided that we needed to have names that we could use should an 'interest' ask. I'd picked a common Russian name, Roza had picked Mary, Christopher picked Jack, and Jasper and Sydney picked Fred and Daphne.
"Russian? I'm Maria." The blonde, Maria, said letting her accent slip into her voice. I produced a small smile in her direction before finding Roza's eyes staring up at me. She was still surrounded by males that clung to her body far too much for my liking.
"What brings you here, Comrade." The redhead asked causing me to flinch. I hated that nickname when Roza gave it to me, but now it was just a reminder of her past affection. Other than her bringing me out of my reverie earlier, I hadn't heard the outrageous name come from her mouth for months.
"A friend," I responded enigmatically, taking another sip of my water as I maintained eye contact with Roza.
"Are you looking for one?" The redhead practically purred in my ear. A shiver of disgust ran through my body. To anyone who wasn't paying attention to my eyes, they would have thought it was arousal. These two were obviously not paying attention. The redhead shuffled even closer to me while Maria ran her hand up my thigh.
I quickly gripped her wrist, pulling my gaze away from Roza and fixing it on her surprised face.
"Please do not mistake my kindness as interest. I'm here for my friend, not to find company." I said in a light tone, though I'm sure my face was more threatening. I released Maria's wrist, and she and her friend quickly left looking terrified at my action.
I turned my attention back to Roza, who had continued to stare at me through the encounter. I raised an eyebrow at her as she looked at me with a quizzical expression. I beckoned her to me with a finger, and surprisingly she complied.
I watched amused as the guys she was dancing with looked confused at her sudden and unexplained departure. She paid them no mind as she made her way up to me, never once breaking eye contact. I took another sip of my water, trying to act as nonchalant as I could as she got closer.
She placed herself across my lap and took the glass from my hand as it was halfway to my mouth. She moved her lips closer to my ear, and this time I shuddered in desire. Her scent was intoxicating in and of itself. Her body was warm from the dancing she'd done, but there wasn't a hair out of place, and her makeup looked perfect.
"You need to learn to relax, Dimitri. Have some fun. Dance with someone." She said into my ear before pulling back. She knocked back the rest of my water, leaving an impression of her perfect lipstick on the glass before handing it back to me. My eyes followed the movement of her lips and the muscles of her throat as she swallowed.
"You're the only one I want to be dancing with, Roza," I said quietly, half hoping that she wouldn't hear me.
"So, come dance with me." She responded getting off my lap, much to my disappointment. She held out her hand, and I could do nothing but stare at it for a few seconds before moving to touch her. I placed the empty glass on the table near the couch as I followed her back downstairs.
She pulled me behind her as she wove her way through the crowd again. The music was much louder down here, the vibrations of the bass could be felt through the floor. She kept her back toward me as she started swaying to the music again.
I could see now why all the guys wanted to stand behind her as she danced. Not only did it do a great job at keeping her body pressed against mine while still moving, standing behind her, and being taller than her, gave a great view of her cleavage. The romper she was wearing, accentuated her ample breasts, leaving them on display for any guy who was lucky enough to stand behind her.
Thankfully, the music was loud enough to mask my moan as I looked down her chest. I gripped her hips and gradually let myself get lost in the feeling of her pressed against me. I moved with her, perfectly in sync, as the music faded into the background.
I'd forgotten just how perfect her body felt against mine. I'd forgotten how gracefully she could move. I'd forgotten just how mesmerizing she could be, how much attention she could demand just by existing.
I felt the love pouring from my heart as I gripped her hips tighter. Her arms reached back and pulled my head down to her neck. I didn't know if I could stay in that position without allowing myself a little pleasure.
I pressed my lips lightly to her wonderfully soft skin and was rewarded with a soft moan. Roza's eyes were closed and a smile lived on her face.
Unlike when she danced with the other guys, there was no Darkness around our feet. She looked genuinely happy as we continued to dance.
"Have you noticed any Strigoi around?" I asked in her ear, just wanting to hear her voice again.
"I haven't seen any, but they're here, I can feel them." She responded turning in my arms to face me. Her heels brought her a few inches closer to my face so I didn't have to bend as far down to reach her ear, and she didn't have to stretch as far up to reach mine.
"Are there a lot of them?" I asked running my hands up her sides.
"Probably not more than a dozen." She said keeping her eyes closed. I didn't know if she was keeping her eyes closed so she didn't have to look at me or because she didn't want to believe it was me she was dancing with. Personally, I was reveling in the feeling of her body against mine.
She looked so beautiful. I almost couldn't believe she was in my arms.
"How do you do that?" She asked so quietly I almost didn't hear it above the music thumping in my ears.
"Do what?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"Keep the Darkness away." She elaborated looking up at me. Her brown eyes bore into mine, seeking an answer I couldn't give. "I feel weak around you because it won't come anywhere near you."
"I'm sorry," I said shamefully. I took a step back from her. I never meant to make her feel weak. She's strong, probably the strongest person I know.
Her hands quickly gripped my wrists before they would move too far from her body. I looked back into her eyes and found them looking at my lips.
"I didn't say I didn't like it, Comrade." She said breathlessly. Her eyes flicked back up to meet mine as my body moved without my permission.
I gripped her face in my hands and brought my lips down to hers. I tried to be gentle. I tried to show her how much she meant to me, how much I love her. I tried to pour my soul into this kiss because it could be the last time she let me near her.
I felt her body stiffen under my grasp as my lips moved against hers. Her hands flew to my chest, and for a moment I thought she was going to push me away. Her fingers dug into my flesh but the rest of her body relaxed into mine.
She grabbed the collar of my shirt and moved her lips to meet my level of passion. She pulled away sooner than I would have liked, but I lowered my head to her neck, trying to prolong the contact as long as possible.
She didn't push me away as I nipped and sucked at her skin. I felt more than heard the moan that she released when I brushed my teeth against her earlobe. I whispered her name in a breathless prayer when her body started moving to the music.
When her lips brushed my ear, I was expecting her to tell me to stop, that she didn't want this, that we could only be just friends. I was prepared to let her go, but the words of rejection never came. What came next was both terrifying and elating.
"Take me home, Comrade."