Author's note: I knowwww! It makes a hell of a long time since I posted anything about this story. But my life was crazy, and I wanted to finish my main story first, Stuck in Hell, which I did finish at long last, yeah! Now I'm back on this story, and with little surprise, contrarily to what I told you, there won't be one but two last chapters, including this one. What can I say, I have a hard time doing things short! ;) So now enjoy!
Chloe couldn't say when her breathing started speeding up, or when her heart began to flutter wildly into her chest, constricting into a painful knot. All she knew was that what seemed only a moment ago, she had been sitting on the stretcher at the back of the ambulance on her way to the hospital, and the next she was lying on it with an oxygen mask over her face and a cardiac monitor attached to her chest with alarms screaming.
Even now, she was barely aware of it all, the reality around her seeming all distorted and wrong. Her whole universe had just been turned upside down, with new elements added to it which she couldn't quite reconcile yet with what had been her reality. What was real and what was not? There was no way for her to know anymore. It felt like a terrible mess that she didn't feel equipped to sort out.
There were divine entities, angels and archangels, demons, and probably all kinds of creatures of legends she'd always thought were just that, legends, or myths. But they were probably all real, and a part of her world, a world she had believed she knew and understood. But nothing was what it seemed; Lucifer was not an eccentric and sexy club owner, but an Archangel, and the Devil who ruled in Hell, which was real too; Maze was a lot more than just an emotionally crippled, a bit deranged, and strange woman; and Amenadiel probably was another son of God...
Once again, the realisation that God existed hit her and she felt crushed under the weight of that knowledge. It felt like her small life was utterly insignificant in the face of divinity. The world was not what she had thought it to be and she was left utterly unable to find back her place in this new reality. She'd never felt so lost and terrified.
After she couldn't say how long, Chloe opened her eyes to this frightening new world and became aware of a big commotion around her. She was now into a room, surrounded by doctors and nurses, with more medical equipment attached to her. There were still alarm bells ringing in her ears. It looked like they were trying to stabilise her condition but didn't quite understand what she was suffering from. She saw a nurse inject medication via her perfusion and an instant later she felt herself relax sensibly.
Her mind was still spinning though, as if caught into a whirlwind, so she tried to find something to focus on, something that would anchor her and make her feel secure. Strangely, the first thought that came to her was Lucifer. She had always felt safe with him and she believed that she still did. She couldn't say if seeing him again for real would not instead send her into a panic, now that she had fully realized who he really was and all that it meant, but the memory of him made her feel safe. So she pictured him in her mind, holding her in his arms and saying that everything would be alright. Her mind slowly settled down and she relaxed some more, noticing at the same time that the alarms had stopped their irritating noise. Still holding onto that feeling of safety in Lucifer's arms, she let herself drift into a welcomed slumber.
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The moment Lucifer asked the desk nurse at the ER where he could find Detective Chloe Decker, and saw the way her smile shifted into a small grimace, he knew something was wrong. His heart dropped into his chest and it suddenly became very hard for him to breathe.
The nurse's reluctance to give him any answer increased his panic to a critic point. Seeing that he was about to lose it, the nurse only conceded to tell him that Chloe was being taken care of in the shock room and that the doctors were doing their best. His imagination got the better of him, creating the worse possible scenarios in which Chloe had hidden from him a more severe injury like a deadly gunshot wound, or that her fractured ribs had complicated into something else that was life threatening.
In a state of daze, he was directed to a waiting room where he passed the longest hour of his existence at walking back and forth restlessly and racking his fingers through his hair in despair. His heart literally stopped beating when he heard his name being called.
A doctor quickly brought him up to speed by first reassuring him that Chloe was out of danger. Lucifer almost busted into tears of relief at the news. Apparently, Chloe's vitals had hit the roof all of a sudden without apparent explanation. They'd first thought her to suffer from a heart failure or a state of shock following the shooting she'd been involved in, but soon discarded those possibilities after a few tests. They were now convinced that it had been a severe panic attack, possibly induced by a life threatening situation.
Chloe Decker suffering from a panic attack because of a shooting? There was no way Lucifer would believe it. The Detective was much stronger than that. He feared that he knew too well what had provoked such an episode; he had seen it happened to too many people who had got a glimpse of his true face.
It was his fault! He had broken her! His strong and wonderful Detective. She would probably never want to see him again. He felt a deep devastation wash over him.
"We had to sedate her to control her vitals." Pursued the Doctor. "She just came back to herself and fortunately her condition stayed stable. She is ready for transfer now, where we'll keep an eye on her for a few hours. She also has two broken ribs, but since they're not displaced, there's nothing to be done about them but prescribe her a few weeks of rest."
At least the news about her health were good. She would be okay, physically at the very least.
Lucifer thanked the Doctor and moved as if about to go away.
"Don't you want to see her? Aren't you her partner?" The doctor asked, perplexed. "We haven't been able to reach her family yet and you are named as an emergency contact."
Lucifer froze, not knowing how to explain that the Detective would certainly not want to see him at the moment and that it was best for him to make his exit. But before he could find the right words, he caught sight of golden hair at the periphery of his vision. His gaze snapped in that direction where he saw a stretcher being rolled out of a room nearby down the corridor with Chloe on it. Her eyes were closed as if in a peaceful rest. He basked in her beauty and in the knowledge that she was out of danger.
He was about to turn around and leave when she opened her eyes and looked straight at him. He expected to see fear and maybe even panic in her gaze, but there was nothing of that. Instead, he could read an unsettling vulnerability. Not knowing what to make of it, he stayed immobile, making sure not to look threatening and risk worsening her condition.
Without talking, Chloe just reached in his direction with her stretched hand, inviting him to come to her.
Lucifer couldn't begin to understand what was going on in her head, but didn't think twice before walking to her and taking her hand in his. She squeezed his hand in a strong grasp and didn't let go. Without uttering a word, she simply smiled at him then closed her eyes again. He couldn't comprehend why she needed him now, when she should be asking him to stay as far away as possible, but he was ready to give her anything she wanted, for as long as she needed it. Even if she decided to discard him later and break his heart, he would be there for her while she needed him.
He followed the stretcher, still holding her hand in his, until they reached the observation unit where they transferred her into a bed. He sat beside the bed once she was settled there, still attached to a cardiac monitor, and kept holding and stroking gently her hand.
Lucifer kept a close eye on the monitor, to make sure she was okay. Her vitals were still fluttering wildly, sometimes spiking so high that the alarms rang for a moment. Strangely, in those moments, Chloe would simply open her eyes, look at him strangely while squeezing his hand, and her vitals would go back down again. Why that was he couldn't start to comprehend, but he was grateful to be allowed to keep touching her.
She didn't say much, mostly inquiring about Daniel's condition. Lucifer had been able to learn that he was presently in the OR. As it turned out, the poor man needed a surgical intervention to drain a subdural hematoma, which was making too much pressure inside his brain. Daniel's mother had been reached and had given her approbation for the operation.
Chloe received some medication during the next hours, to help with the pain in her chest and keep her calm. She looked to be resting most of the time, but Lucifer knew she was not sleeping. She was obviously thinking, and processing, and he felt utterly useless and afraid of the conclusions she would reach.
He taught back about the admissions he made to her while on the brink of death; of not being able to live without her, but not being able to accept the great gift that she was. It was one thing to learn that Lucifer Morningstar couldn't live without you, but it was another thing entirely to learn that the Devil couldn't. How could any human process that? Accept that, and reciprocate? His Mother had made him start to believe that Chloe's love for him might be genuine. He had even started to envision that he could accept his Father's gift, accept Chloe's love and stop seeing only deception in it. But what now, that she knew the truth about him? Could her feelings for him ever be the same? That would truly be a miracle...
She'd said she wanted to have a conversation about all of it once he'd be feeling better, and yet she didn't seem ready for it. Maybe she would never be, now that she knew. She'd told him they were ok though, after seeing his Devil's face. Were they still? The wonderful hope that he had felt when thinking that they had a second chance, at last, was wearing off with each minute of silence that passed between them.
In the middle of the afternoon, after a few hours of not hearing any new alarms from Chloe's monitor, the doctor released her with a prescription of painkiller and mild sedative for the nerves. They headed straight for the recovery room where Daniel had been brought after his intervention. They couldn't see him yet though, since he hadn't regain consciousness, but a doctor told them that the operation was a success. Hopefully, Daniel should regain his full capacities within a few weeks.
Chloe felt a part of her anxiety drop from her shoulders. Dan would be okay! And she wouldn't have to give her daughter bad news. She shared a relieved smile with Lucifer. In spite of the strange relationship going on between the two men, Lucifer seemed genuinely glad to hear the good news.
After the doctor left them standing in the waiting room, an uncomfortable silence settled between Lucifer and Chloe. Lucifer was once again wearing that vulnerable and miserable air that she had seen creeping up on his face earlier. She remembered that he had just lost his mother today.
She reached out and squeezed his hand in hers to comfort him. She had gotten used to the gesture over the last hours and would miss it once he was gone. God knew it had comforted her today.
She smiled at him softly. "You ok?"
"Why would I not be?" He evaded, with a forced smile. Chloe wasn't buying it.
"Maybe you should go to your place. There's no need for you to stay with me while I wait for Dan to wake up. I'll be okay. Go rest, you had a rough day." What an understatement that was!
A strange look passed through his eyes. "If that's what you need, Detective."
Oh! No! She could see his walls coming back up full force. She corrected herself quickly to make sure there was no misunderstanding between them. "That's not about what I need, Lucifer, but what you need. You just lost you mom..." Her heart cried for him. "You cared enough about me for one day, now it's time you think about yourself for a change. I had a little freak out earlier, but I'm doing better now, thanks to you. You shouldn't be the one to drop the news of Charlotte's death to Dan anyway. I'll do it. I'll see you later, once Dan wakes up."
"All right, Detective." His smile seemed a little bit more true.
Chloe stroked his knuckles one last time with her thumb before he pulled away. She prayed that she didn't make a mistake by making him feel rejected. He strangely looked more like a frightened animal that needed careful handling than like the Devil she now knew him to be.
"I'll see you later, right? You'll be at your place?" She hoped she didn't sound as pitiful as she felt.
He seemed to catch on her insecurity though, and he smiled sheepishly. "Yes I will be there. I promise I won't bail on you this time, Detective."
Had she been that obvious? Probably. Still, she smiled back brightly. He wouldn't leave. And they would finally have that talk. There was so much to address, about... well, everything. She wouldn't know where to begin. She felt a bit more like herself now that her freak out about divinity was mostly over, but she hadn't been able to think much about her feelings for Lucifer in the last hours. All her energy had been directed at keeping herself together.
Strangely, it had been Lucifer's presence that helped her most to ground herself back into reality. His firm hold on her hand had felt like an anchor, a beacon in the middle of the storm that had become her world. Reality seemed stronger with him beside her, and a lot less frightening. Things that had seemed too big to handle had slowly shrank down to an almost manageable level. With Lucifer by her side, she felt like she could overcome anything.
She hadn't been able to tell him anything of significance though, because truthfully, she didn't know exactly how she felt about him. All she knew was that she still needed him in her life, now more than ever. She hoped she had successfully passed on to him that feeling with her small gestures.
Now that she thought about it, that time alone, without Lucifer, would give her the opportunity to really sort out everything about him, and about them...
It took a few hours after Lucifer's departure for Dan to wake up. By then, she was emotionally drained out by all the soul searching she had done while thinking of Lucifer and where she wished to go from there. She felt utterly vulnerable, her feelings raw to the bone.
She tried to collect herself and went to see Dan.
There was a clean bandage wrapped around his head and he looked groggy from all the anesthetics, but he seemed to be able to keep his eyes open.
She kissed his head and smiled sweetly at him. "You gave me quite a scare there," she admitted softly while taking a seat beside him.
He looked guilty. "Sorry! I guess I haven't been very smart this time. I should have felt that Williams was a dirty cop, understood it somehow. I take it that my being still alive means that you must have stopped him in time?"
"Don't be too hard on yourself, Dan. I understood it myself only because I had the last pieces of the puzzle laying before me in that basement. Even then, it was almost too late when I finally understood that Williams wanted to kill you." Her present vulnerable state unfortunately made the emotion of helplessness she had felt back then resurface with a vengeance, and her lower lip started trembling. "Anyway, had it not been for Lucifer, I fear we would both be dead by now..."
The reminder of Lucifer and of who Daniel now suspected him to be was enough to make him lose the little color he had.
He clearly hesitated before voicing his question. "Do you... do you really think he could be the... the Devil?"
She nodded slowly, almost apologetically. "I know so. I've seen it. I've seen a lot of things in that basement, Dan. There's still a lot I don't understand, or haven't wrapped my head around yet, but the one thing we can both be sure is that Lucifer is a kind and amazing being who went to great lengths to save our lives. He as good as sacrificed his life without a second thought for us... as his Mother did for him..." She said the last part in a whisper, as if to make the horrible news more bearable for him. Chloe always thought the woman to be selfish to the bone. Looked like she had a lot more layers than what it appeared.
Dan started at her words, not understanding, or not wanting to. "What...? What do you mean?" He whispered back, with a foreboding air.
"I'm sorry, Dan! But... Charlotte, Lucifer's Mom, she... Of what I understand, she used some celestial powers to heal him, powers that her temporary human body couldn't withstand. She's gone... "
"Gone...?" He was in shock. What did this mean? She was supposed to be some kind of Goddess, she couldn't just be what, dead? Could she? "What do you mean, gone?" He sounded so small.
So Chloe tried to explain everything a bit more clearly with the little she understood about it all. She tried to make him understand that the Goddess wasn't really dead, but would certainly be staying in Hell for eternity, locked up there once more after having escaped it, or been released, it wasn't quite clear, not so long ago.
Daniel's emotions were in turmoil. Charlotte had always been special, if somehow quite disconcerting at times. Some would even call her strange. His feelings for her had always been unclear; desire, lust, or sick attractiveness? He wasn't sure, but he had liked her, a lot, and he thought she had liked him too. And she had been a damn Goddess!
Though he felt thunderstruck by the realization, he also felt blessed to have had the chance to know her and to experience that short time together. She might not be dead, but her fate sounded far worse than simple death; Hell! When he thought about it, her sacrifice for her son was also what had certainly saved Chloe's and his life in the end. He owed her his life, and she was back in Hell, where she would undoubtedly be tortured for eternity...
Author's note: Next chapter will lead to the resolution of this story, with that overdue talk between Chloe and Lucifer and some surprises too. I hoped you had fun reading this last chapter. Thanks for reading, and reviewing. Your support means the world to me :))))