The Loud House went silent.
One might have expected Lori to wail dramatically, but what happened instead was even more heartbreaking.
She couldn't carry her own body weight as she collapsed to the floor. It wasn't a playful faint like one she might pull from embarrassment after one of Luan's pranks or anger or even teenage drama. The life literally went out of her.
Lynn Sr. went over and collected his daughter into his arms and held her close. He had no words.
Lincoln was the first one to speak, "H-how….?"
He looked into the eyes of his only son, who was already such a man, but who was about to lose whatever was left of his innocence.
"Suicide….He jumped from the bridge into the icy waters," he whispered.
Suddenly Lori released an animalistic wail. It sent shivers up the spines of all of them. Poor Lily was too afraid to cry so she whimpered.
Leni then took charge for the sake of her sister, "we need to get ready for bed guys."
They somberly headed up the stairs. When they were gone Lynn Sr. took Lori and picked her up, something that he hadn't done in years. Despite being numb, Lori was surprised how good it felt to be babied. In a family so big she had to grow up pretty fast and give up being treated like a baby very early on. She was a very sensible and responsible girl because of this, despite being a typical teenager. She was the third nurturer of the family, so it felt good to be nurtured for a change.
When her father laid her on her bed Lori was shocked when he lay beside her, something he hadn't done for her since she was three.
She didn't have the stamina to think about that now, all that was flowing through her mind was her Bobby.
Bobby had killed himself.
Bobby was dead.
Bobby was never coming back.
And he had chosen it.
Lori only had one question, and she knew that it was one that had no answer.
"Why? W-why daddy? Why?" she whispered pleading for daddy to give her an answer, any answer.
What her father responded with only stung more, "I'm sorry baby….I'm sorry….I'm so very very sorry."
Lori knew that not only did that mean her daddy didn't have an answer, but that he never would.
She sobbed into his sweater and each tear felt like a hot coal to his chest. He and his wife were busy people…..sometimes too busy, too focused on themselves, too distracted by the chaos of their lives. But first and foremost they were parents, it was the best thing they had ever done with their lives and ever would, and both of them would do anything to protect their kids. Lori especially had a special place in their hearts that wasn't often discussed. In a family this big, she was first. The very first baby, the start of what would become their legacy.
He remembered the night she had been born. He was always a bit prone to anxiety, but that night he nearly had a heart attack he was so nervous, gathering all this baby stuff into his arms as he helped his wife into Van-zilla. It was a cold and snowy night and the van wouldn't start so Lynn had removed all his winter gear and wrapped his wife's tummy up to keep the baby warm until they could get a cab. They had barely arrived in time, and when they did both Rita and Lynn were amazed. In one moment life was no longer all about them, and never would be again.
He had held her in his arms and promised that he would protect her and that he would never let anyone or anything hurt her, as most parents do.
Of course she had gotten hurt…when they had hidden Fenton, when she had fallen off her trike, or when she hadn't been accepted to the soccer team, but each of those pains were temporary. They could be fixed with an ice cream cone, or a hug, or a kiss and a Band-Aid.
Nothing would fix this.
He just continued holding her as she wailed.
Meanwhile her siblings were in their own state of shock. The kids old enough to comprehend suicide were left questioning why, like Lori, but the ones too young were almost too heartbreaking.
"Leni….what's suicide?" Lola and Lana asked with their big eyes as Leni lay Lily into her crib.
"Suicide is the voluntary cause of death, preformed in a wide variety of ways including overdosing on drugs, shooting ones self, getting run over or in Bobby's case-"
"That's enough Lisa!" demanded Lucy to the surprised of everyone. Lucy normally loved the morbid, but this time was different. Her sisters' innocence was at stake, and this wasn't some novel or work of fiction….it was real.
"C'mon guys, I'll read you the bedtime story about the princess who drives monster trucks."
"By that she means she'll look at the pictures and make something up!" Lola joked in a desperate attempt to make her twin sister smile. Lana looked like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown, and it was a very scary thing for both of them.
Leni put a comforting hand on each shoulder and kissed Lily and Lisa goodnight before turning on Lisa's Edison nightlight and leaving.
Lincoln lay staring up at his ceiling as he tried to listen to the sounds of his house. Normally, he would fall asleep to all sorts of chaotic sounds which soothed him right to sleep.
Tonight, however, it was quiet enough for him to hear his own thoughts….which was scary for him on a night like tonight.
He could hear Luna playing a soft requiem on her violin and the sobs coming from Lori's room, but that was it.
After awhile he heard his mother come in. She had been away at a dental convention, but had rushed home as soon as she heard the news. He heard her comforting Lori for a minute but then was surprised when he heard her come into each daughter's room and speak to each child one-on-one. She said things like how much she loved them and what about them she admired and how strong they were being for their sister and how even if her and their dad stayed busy with Lori for a few days that they still loved them very much.
Lincoln already figured and wanted his parents to focus on Lori now.
Finally he heard the door to his room creak open.
"Hi hon,' Rita whispered.
"Hi mom," Lincoln whispered, trying not to cry.
"You alright?" she asked as she stroked back his white hair from his face.
"Is Lori alright?" he asked with zero regard for himself.
Rita gave a small smile at her selfless son, but she couldn't lie to him.
"No….but hopefully one day…." She wished more than anything she could say with certainty that one day Lori would go back to "normal" but the reality was they had to find a new normal now.
"I'll still love her even if she's never ok again," Lincoln whispered as he drifted off to sleep, too miserable and concerned to have the energy to stay awake.
His mom tucked a blanket around him and kissed his forehead.
"We all will."