Eventually Ronnie Anne fell asleep leaning against Lincoln's body. The boy gently tucked her into bed…he figured she hadn't gotten any sleep these past few days and whether she wanted it or not her body needed rest.
He spent the rest of the day being swapped out into various sets of arms like a comfort teddy bear. Being from a big family he was used to being needed by many different people at once, though never in a situation this serious.
Throughout the day he began collecting pieces of Bobby Santiago's life and what led him to such a tragic end.
"I shouldn't have just moved my children without their consent like this," his mother lamented.
"It was so much for Bobby to take in. The new school, new city, all his new family members…plus the added stress of his senior year. I should have known it was too much for him to take…I just stayed so busy…I thought that having a big family around would help him have a stronger support system, but he…he never could find his place after moving here."
"What do you mean?" Lincoln inquired. "Bobby always seemed so laid back to me, like he could fit in anywhere."
His mother's lip began to quiver, "since his father left Bobby had always taken pride on being the "man of the house" it was why he worked so many different jobs…he loved feeling like he was vital to our family," his mother had to pause and cry into her hands for a few minutes more.
"When we moved here, suddenly he stopped feeling vital. There were other people to lighten his load and somewhere along the line he just got lost in the mix…even at school he had a lot of trouble making friends his age. It's easy for someone like Ronnie Anne…kids your age are making new friends all the time, but Bobby was a senior in high school. All the other kids his age have a strong group of friends and they are already preparing to say goodbye to them at the end of the year…they don't want some new kid coming and mixing things up more."
"I would invite him to chill with my friends every now and again, but every time he went he always felt like a third wheel," Carlotta further explained.
"But-but he talked to Lori every day…her world revolved around him. She was a source of constant support!" Lincoln said. He was beginning to feel anger towards Bobby for hurting his sister in such a large way. No matter how much he suffered it wasn't fair that now his loved ones have to pick up the pieces.
Mrs. Santiago seemed to sense this and sat Lincoln down on the couch, "Being Seventeen is a complicated thing Lincoln, you feel so ready to grow up, but you are still just a kid. There are some things kids just can't comprehend…I firmly believe that when Bobby…jumped," her voice caught.
"When Bobby jumped it probably didn't sink in that it was permanent…That he can't just magically come back when he feels better," she starting sobbing again.
Lincoln and Carlotta went and sat at her side to comfort her, and she engulfed both of them in tight embraces. She gave Carlotta a meaningful glance, as if to say she better not ever consider putting her family through so much pain.
The poor girl could only nod.
"I just don't know how to go about helping Lori…I've never lost anyone before," Lincoln whispered.
Mrs. Santiago gave him a watery smile, "just be there for her Lincoln, let her know we are here for her too…you are all like family to us."
Lincoln smiled and took her hand, "I guess I have an even bigger family than I thought."
She hugged him tight and Abuelita packed him a bag full of enough food for the bus ride back and for everyone in his family.
"Will you promise to take care of Ronnie Anne?" Lincoln whispered before leaving.
The entire Santiago clan nodded.
"And let her know I'm here for her…always," Lincoln added.
Some of the female family members gave small romantic smiles but they all nodded.
With this reassurance Lincoln forced his body to turn and leave the Santiago place.
All the way home he went back and forth thinking about how much to reveal to Lori. He wouldn't be breaking his promise to Ronnie Anne of course, but Lori needed some form of closure. She needed to try to understand Bobby's mindset in order to start healing, but she also had to acknowledge her own heavy emotions.
Lincoln stared out the window and watched the raindrops race down the window. When he was a kid he and his sisters used to have raindrop races where they each bet on a different raindrop to win the race down the window. It was little memories like that which provided Lincoln peace when his world got too chaotic and heavy.
He wasn't particularly religious but as Royal Woods got closer and closer he found himself speaking to Bobby in a way that was a weird combination of confrontation and prayer.
Hey man, I'm sorry that you were suffering, but it totally isn't cool what you did to my sister.
She loved you.
Your mom loved you.
Ronnie Anne loved you.
So many people loved you Bobby.
Now everyone has to go the rest of their lives without you.
The rest of their lives wondering why you aren't there.
The rest of their lives wondering if they could have done to stop this.
I'm just a kid and now I've got to help my big sister through this…
You didn't even say goodbye!
Not to her, or Ronnie Anne, or your mom….or me!
You knew that I saw you as a role model!
I don't think I see things that way anymore Bobby…
No matter how bad things got I would never abandon the people who needed me.
I want to hate you for all of this.
But I don't…I want to hate you because maybe it will make me forget how miserable I am.
How much I will miss you.