To My Babe,
I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do. I can't imagine what I'll be putting you through. I know you said you would never hate me…but I have a feeling this will change that. The truth is I hate myself more than you could ever hate me. I hate how I'm not good enough for you. You are smart, beautiful, compassionate, caring and so much more. You deserve a guy whose smart and successful enough to make sure you have everything that you need to be as happy as humanly possible. No one deserves happiness more than you Lori, I know right now happiness must feel so far away. I know that feeling, because it's what I'm feeling right now. I know that behind all those clouds of sadness there's a rainbow waiting for you to find it. I've searched for it for months now, but it's not coming out for me. It will come for you though Lori, I know it will, because you were my sunshine for all the time we dated and hey rainbows can't come without sunshine right? Please don't blame yourself for this, it was my battle, and I lost it. It wasn't your fault and there was nothing you could have done to stop it. Know that I never stopped loving you even up to my final breathe and that whatever the heck awaits us on the other side of death I'm loving you from there too.
Always yours,
Bobby (Boo Boo Bear)
Lori's hands were shaking as she held the note. It was finally crashing in on her that not only was Bobby dead, but he was dead over something that should have been prevented…she should have prevented it.
She should have talked about what was going on with him more, should have asked how he was doing, about his new city friends. She should have listened instead of always talking…now she would never have the chance
With no real coherent thoughts in her brain she rushed up the hill and pushed past the other mourners to fling herself at the casket.
"BOBBY! OH BOBBY! PLEASE WAKE UP! I'LL DO ANYTHING! I'LL LISTEN MORE! I'LL HELP YOU! I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, JUST PLEASE COME BACK! PLEASE!" Lori pleaded desperately.
Rita and Lynn Sr. wrapped their eldest daughter up in their arms as the grief finally hit her like a freight train.
Her siblings looked at her sadly, knowing there was nothing any of them could do at the moment, despite wanting to do anything to help their big sister.
"She's reached the point of bargaining, she'll be through the five stages of grief in no time," Lisa whispered, hoping to provide her siblings with a dose of optimism.
"I don't think it's gonna be that clear cut Lisa," Leni muttered back. This situation had actually turned the airheaded blonde surprisingly mature and deep.
"Yeah…it's just gonna take time," Luna added.
"I don't think any of us are going to ever be able to laugh at this situation," Luan said.
"We won't cause this isn't something to laugh at…it's ruined not only Lori's life, but Ronnie Anne's…his mother and the rest of his family…"
"Not to mention almost all of Royal Woods…" Lynn Jr. said as she noticed the crowd full of people from all walks of life and all ages who had in one way or another been impacted by the tragedy of Bobby Santiago.
"Will you guys promise me you won't ever do anything dumb like this? I-I still don't know why he did this, but…I don't know what I would do if I ever lost any of you guys!" Lola confessed as tears started building up in her eyes and her mascara began to run.
The Loud siblings could only respond by nodding and pulling into one of their famous group hugs.